Good Evening, Trekkers, Trekkies, Treknecks, and Conversationalists, all across the fruited plain!
And by the way...HAPPY ELECTION DAY '08!!!
May the best man win....
Okay. Now that that's outta the way....
Here's a tale set some time in the TNG-Relaunch era. Frankly, I have no idea exactly when (I wrote this thing before I ever read any of those books). But that's kinda irrelevent. I kinda made a concious effort to make the "setting" as vague as possible.
Enjoy!
Star Trek TNG:
B-4 & After
Scenes 1 & 2
B-4 did not understand.
Upon opening his eyes, the first thing he had noticed was that he was in a room.
With lights.
12.3 seconds later, he noticed that most of the room was above him.
He seemed to be lying on the floor, but he appeared to be right side up.
He also noticed that he was not alone.There was someone near a wall, standing straight and not moving.
B-4 saw that the someone was without a head.
He did not understand. So he asked the Headless Someone, “Why do you have no head?”
The Headless Someone did not answer, still not moving.
It took B-4 17.8 minutes before he understood: He was the head. And the Headless Someone was his body.
As the Tall Man with the Furry Face would say, he had somehow gotten his block knocked off.
He did not know how he knew what the Tall Man with the Furry Face would say, but at the moment, that was irrelevant.
“It would seem that we have been separated,” he said to his body, “so we must come back together now.”
No response.
“Please walk to me.”
The body began to move. It began to walk forward –then left, then right.
“Over here.”
The body paused, turning its back to B-4.
“Follow my voice.”
The body walked away from him.
“Follow my voice.”
The body continued walking away. B-4 decided to try something different.
“Go to the left.”
The body went right.
“I did not say right. Why are you going right?”
The body said nothing –as it collided into a wall.
B-4 frowned as the body fell to the floor.
After a moment’s reflection, he said the one thing that came to his mind.
“I do not understand.”
Geordi La Forge understood perfectly well. And he did not enjoy it.
As he watched B-4’s ridiculous antics, he felt a twinge of pain.
The android was staring at his fallen body, with that familiar jitter of his. Under most circumstances, the situation would have been laughable. But it was not a joke. And Geordi certainly did not feel like laughing.
Not even when B-4 asked his body, “You appear to have fallen. Can you get up?”
“Looks like someone lost his head.”
Geordi turned around to find the last person he expected to see standing at the lab doorway.
“Leah! What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
Dr. Leah Brahms flashed a smile as she sat down beside him. “I was in the neighborhood, and I heard you were here… so I thought I’d drop in and say hello.”
Geordi returned the grin. “Well, let me just say that if you’re not a sight for sore eyes, I don’t know what is….”
Leah stared at the viewscreen, which showed what was happening in B-4’s compartment. “What are we watching, exactly?”
Geordi felt his smile disappear. “Uh… call it an experiment.”
Leah frowned. “Indeed.”
“Yeah –it’s to see how long it takes for him to figure out this kind of situation. Kind of like…” Geordi sighed as his thoughts synchronized with exactly what he was saying, “…like a mouse in a labyrinth.”
Leah raised an eyebrow. “I was under the impression he was a lot smarter than this –to say the least….”
Geordi stared at her blankly. “‘Smart’? Leah… exactly who do you think is in that cubicle?”
“I… thought it was your friend Data.”
Geordi stared at his feet, sighing. “No. That’s his…little brother. Data… is dead.”
Leah said nothing.
“I’m surprised no one told you,” Geordi remarked as he turned his attention back to the screen. B-4 was faring little better. He was now asking the body –politely –to get up.
“So… what is he supposed to do?”
Geordi finally tore his eyes away from the android as he faced his fellow engineer. “Well you see, we reprogrammed his body to respond to voice commands –but it does the exact opposite of what you instruct it to do. B-4 –that’s his name –will only solve this puzzle if he is able to figure that out… and direct his body not to come to him, not to pick him up, and so on.”
Leah nodded. “Except… he doesn’t seem to have figured that out just yet.”
Geordi leaned back in his chair, exhausted. “Exactly –I have spent the better part of a half hour watching him try to ‘pull himself together’, as it were, and he hasn’t even considered the solution.” He paused… and smiled.
Leah gave him a questioning look.
“Oh, I was just remembering when Commander Riker and I did this to Data as a little prank. Do you know how long it took him to figure this out?”
Leah shook her head no.
“Four point three minutes.”
Leah looked at the screen. “Am I to understand that…‘B-4’… is less capable than his brother?”
Geordi leaned forward. “That’s just it! Shortly after we found him, Data and I downloaded all his capabilities and memories to B-4.” He shook his head. “No luck. Only recently has he even started to access them… and that was only once.”
Leah shrugged. “Well, that’s a start.”
“Yeah, well, all he did was sing…”
Leah smiled as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Give him some time, Geordi. He’ll grow.”
Geordi returned the smile, halfheartedly. “I wish I could be that certain.”
Leah stood up. “Well, I have some business to attend to. Let me know how it all turns out?”
“Sure.” Geordi paused, and then asked, “What do you say to dinner tonight –say, 1900 hours?”
Leah nodded as she smiled again. “I’d like that. Where did you have in mind?”
Geordi thought for a moment. “Well… there’s a certain café down the street….” A grin played on his face. “It’s Italian. I…don’t know if you like that, but…”
She chuckled at that. “1900 –I’ll be there.”
As she left, Geordi turned back to the screen –and his cheerful mood vanished. B-4’s was now on his nose, apparently after trying to move his head closer to the body. The head rolled to the side as he once again said his signature line.
“I do not—”
Okay, that’s enough!” Geordi hit his console. “Computer: open the darned cubicle.”
And by the way...HAPPY ELECTION DAY '08!!!
May the best man win....
Okay. Now that that's outta the way....
Here's a tale set some time in the TNG-Relaunch era. Frankly, I have no idea exactly when (I wrote this thing before I ever read any of those books). But that's kinda irrelevent. I kinda made a concious effort to make the "setting" as vague as possible.
Enjoy!
Star Trek TNG:
B-4 & After
Scenes 1 & 2
B-4 did not understand.
Upon opening his eyes, the first thing he had noticed was that he was in a room.
With lights.
12.3 seconds later, he noticed that most of the room was above him.
He seemed to be lying on the floor, but he appeared to be right side up.
He also noticed that he was not alone.There was someone near a wall, standing straight and not moving.
B-4 saw that the someone was without a head.
He did not understand. So he asked the Headless Someone, “Why do you have no head?”
The Headless Someone did not answer, still not moving.
It took B-4 17.8 minutes before he understood: He was the head. And the Headless Someone was his body.
As the Tall Man with the Furry Face would say, he had somehow gotten his block knocked off.
He did not know how he knew what the Tall Man with the Furry Face would say, but at the moment, that was irrelevant.
“It would seem that we have been separated,” he said to his body, “so we must come back together now.”
No response.
“Please walk to me.”
The body began to move. It began to walk forward –then left, then right.
“Over here.”
The body paused, turning its back to B-4.
“Follow my voice.”
The body walked away from him.
“Follow my voice.”
The body continued walking away. B-4 decided to try something different.
“Go to the left.”
The body went right.
“I did not say right. Why are you going right?”
The body said nothing –as it collided into a wall.
B-4 frowned as the body fell to the floor.
After a moment’s reflection, he said the one thing that came to his mind.
“I do not understand.”
* * *
Geordi La Forge understood perfectly well. And he did not enjoy it.
As he watched B-4’s ridiculous antics, he felt a twinge of pain.
The android was staring at his fallen body, with that familiar jitter of his. Under most circumstances, the situation would have been laughable. But it was not a joke. And Geordi certainly did not feel like laughing.
Not even when B-4 asked his body, “You appear to have fallen. Can you get up?”
“Looks like someone lost his head.”
Geordi turned around to find the last person he expected to see standing at the lab doorway.
“Leah! What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
Dr. Leah Brahms flashed a smile as she sat down beside him. “I was in the neighborhood, and I heard you were here… so I thought I’d drop in and say hello.”
Geordi returned the grin. “Well, let me just say that if you’re not a sight for sore eyes, I don’t know what is….”
Leah stared at the viewscreen, which showed what was happening in B-4’s compartment. “What are we watching, exactly?”
Geordi felt his smile disappear. “Uh… call it an experiment.”
Leah frowned. “Indeed.”
“Yeah –it’s to see how long it takes for him to figure out this kind of situation. Kind of like…” Geordi sighed as his thoughts synchronized with exactly what he was saying, “…like a mouse in a labyrinth.”
Leah raised an eyebrow. “I was under the impression he was a lot smarter than this –to say the least….”
Geordi stared at her blankly. “‘Smart’? Leah… exactly who do you think is in that cubicle?”
“I… thought it was your friend Data.”
Geordi stared at his feet, sighing. “No. That’s his…little brother. Data… is dead.”
Leah said nothing.
“I’m surprised no one told you,” Geordi remarked as he turned his attention back to the screen. B-4 was faring little better. He was now asking the body –politely –to get up.
“So… what is he supposed to do?”
Geordi finally tore his eyes away from the android as he faced his fellow engineer. “Well you see, we reprogrammed his body to respond to voice commands –but it does the exact opposite of what you instruct it to do. B-4 –that’s his name –will only solve this puzzle if he is able to figure that out… and direct his body not to come to him, not to pick him up, and so on.”
Leah nodded. “Except… he doesn’t seem to have figured that out just yet.”
Geordi leaned back in his chair, exhausted. “Exactly –I have spent the better part of a half hour watching him try to ‘pull himself together’, as it were, and he hasn’t even considered the solution.” He paused… and smiled.
Leah gave him a questioning look.
“Oh, I was just remembering when Commander Riker and I did this to Data as a little prank. Do you know how long it took him to figure this out?”
Leah shook her head no.
“Four point three minutes.”
Leah looked at the screen. “Am I to understand that…‘B-4’… is less capable than his brother?”
Geordi leaned forward. “That’s just it! Shortly after we found him, Data and I downloaded all his capabilities and memories to B-4.” He shook his head. “No luck. Only recently has he even started to access them… and that was only once.”
Leah shrugged. “Well, that’s a start.”
“Yeah, well, all he did was sing…”
Leah smiled as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Give him some time, Geordi. He’ll grow.”
Geordi returned the smile, halfheartedly. “I wish I could be that certain.”
Leah stood up. “Well, I have some business to attend to. Let me know how it all turns out?”
“Sure.” Geordi paused, and then asked, “What do you say to dinner tonight –say, 1900 hours?”
Leah nodded as she smiled again. “I’d like that. Where did you have in mind?”
Geordi thought for a moment. “Well… there’s a certain café down the street….” A grin played on his face. “It’s Italian. I…don’t know if you like that, but…”
She chuckled at that. “1900 –I’ll be there.”
As she left, Geordi turned back to the screen –and his cheerful mood vanished. B-4’s was now on his nose, apparently after trying to move his head closer to the body. The head rolled to the side as he once again said his signature line.
“I do not—”
Okay, that’s enough!” Geordi hit his console. “Computer: open the darned cubicle.”
* * *
I was thinking of Dr. Brahms!
