Star Trek Rhymes

[LtCommanderB4]

Hey there,
I hope this is in the right area.

I'm trying to make a little book for my son called "Goodnight Enterprise", but I've hit a brick wall.
I was thinking of visiting either each bridge officer or each department - not sure which, but here's what i have so far. Please feel free to edit existing text as i feel it is a bit clunky;

On its mission in deep space, the Enterprise is tired from warping from place to place.
Her systems slow to a hum, letting the crew know that nighttime has come.
Her nacelles dim from blue to dark gray, it's time for the Enterprise to end her play.

On the bridge of the Enterprise, the captain gives the order – “The day is complete, it's time for the crew of the Enterprise to get some sleep.” With his shiny, bald head, he gets ready for bed.
He settles down with a book he just got, and orders from the replicator “Tea, Earl Grey, hot. “



The warp core hums in Engineering, as long as Wesley isn't interfering.
Having passed warp 9, Geordi checks if the injectors are misaligned....

 

[Gary Mitchell]

I don't have anything to add because I'm a terrible poet but I just wanted to say that this is a cool project that you're doing for your son.

 

[sevenstars]

Brilliant Idea. "With his shiny bald head he gets ready for bed" is pure genius.

I thought it was going to be like Goodnight Moon, though. "On the great gray ship there was a communications board..."

 

[LtCommanderB4]

Brilliant Idea. "With his shiny bald head he gets ready for bed" is pure genius.

I thought it was going to be like Goodnight Moon, though. "On the great gray ship there was a communications board..."

Cant tell if you're being sarcastic as i felt that line was lame

 

[LtCommanderB4]

I don't have anything to add because I'm a terrible poet but I just wanted to say that this is a cool project that you're doing for your son.

Thank you so much!

 

[sevenstars]

Cant tell if you're being sarcastic as i felt that line was lame

Oh no! I'm sorry. I really loved it-- it made me laugh.
I'm a very sarcastic person, but usually not on here. I think...

 

[Avro Arrow]

I hope this is in the right area.

Since this is more about the writing and the creativity than it is about the Star Trek, I think it's fine to be here.

Cute project! I hope it goes well!

 

[Gryffindorian]

Data hata tomatah.

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

^

 

[LtCommanderB4]

This brick wall i have hit is harder than a level 10 force field.

 

[LtCommanderB4]

I've only got three pages

On its mission in deep space, the Enterprise is tired from warping place to place.
Her systems slow to a hum, letting the crew know that nighttime has come.
Her nacelles dim from blue to dark gray, it's time for the Enterprise to end her play.

Captain Picard hits the Breen with an inverse tachyon beam, and says “The day is complete, it's time for the crew to get some sleep.”
With his shiny, bald head, he gets ready for bed and thinks of that encounter with the Pakled.
He settles down with a book he just got, and orders from the replicator “Tea, Earl Grey, hot.”

The warp core hums in Engineering (as long as Wesley isn't interfering).
Lieutenant Barclay recalibrates the deflector and proceeds to purge a deuterium injector. Too tired to walk, he uses the transporters to beam to his quarters. Scanning with his tricorder, he assumes Transporter Psychosis is the diagnosis. With an isolinear chip, he starts to fiddle and thinks maybe he should get a pet Tribble. It could calm him, sorta, or maybe, a pet horta.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

I've only got three pages

On its mission in deep space, the Enterprise is tired from warping place to place.
Her systems slow to a hum, letting the crew know that nighttime has come.
Her nacelles dim from blue to dark gray, it's time for the Enterprise to end her play.

Captain Picard hits the Breen with an inverse tachyon beam, and says “The day is complete, it's time for the crew to get some sleep.”
With his shiny, bald head, he gets ready for bed and thinks of that encounter with the Pakled.
He settles down with a book he just got, and orders from the replicator “Tea, Earl Grey, hot.”

The warp core hums in Engineering (as long as Wesley isn't interfering).
Lieutenant Barclay recalibrates the deflector and proceeds to purge a deuterium injector. Too tired to walk, he uses the transporters to beam to his quarters. Scanning with his tricorder, he assumes Transporter Psychosis is the diagnosis. With an isolinear chip, he starts to fiddle and thinks maybe he should get a pet Tribble. It could calm him, sorta, or maybe, a pet horta.

I especially liked the crack about Wesley.

 

[LtCommanderB4]

But i need help! I need at least two more paragraphs.

Here's what im working on now, and i feel its really reaching - a little clumsy;

Lieutenant Commander Data feeds his cat Feline supplement 74 and thinks of his brother, Lore.
With Spot fed, he tucks himself into his bed, to rest his positronic head.
He initiates his dream program, and begins to soar, around the Enterprise and through the floor. Around the hull and.....

 

[Silvercrest]

... out the shuttle bay door.

 

[LtCommanderB4]

Lieutenant Commander Data feeds his cat Feline supplement 74 and thinks of his brother, Lore. His naughty brother, always playing tricks, all because of his twisted matrix.
With his cat fed, he tucks himself into his bed, to rest his positronic head.
He initiates his dream program, and drifts to a sleep so deep. He begins to soar, around the Enterprise and through the shuttle bay door. Around the bridge, he flies like a bird and say to himself “this is most absurd!”

This still feels so clunky....