Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Starfleet Wants You!
“Hey guys!” Mariner sauntered up waving a padd at her friends. “You gotta check this out!”
“Oooo, what is it?” Tendi asked curiously getting out from her bunk.
“Oh boy,” Boimler braced himself. “This isn’t another video of Vice Admiral Gibson being dunked in a vat of live gagh, is it?”
“Nope, even better,” Mariner grinned holding her padd up for all to see. “Just sit back and watch this!”
“Hey there!” Mariner’s voice could be heard accompanied by a slow panoramic shot of a mysterious, awe-inspiring stellar phenomenon accompanied by a vast, star-filled background. “Do you dream about living and exploring amongst the infinite mysteries of space? Do you yearn to boldly voyage across the unknown, thrilling depths of the final frontier? Do you like shooting things and want to blow stuff up in ways no one has done before? Well, now you can!”
A brief glimpse of a sleek Starfleet vessel jumping to warp speed was shown followed by a montage of various Starfleet-related clips. “Come join Starfleet and discover all the wonders the galaxy has to offer!”
“Huh?” Boimler, Tendi and Rutherford gawked in surprise at the padd’s screen.
“Are you tired of listening to your parents complaining about you lying around and not living up to your potential?” Mariner’s voice went on. “Then head to the nearest recruitment office and let Starfleet give your life the direction and purpose no one else will!”
The scene switched to a Galaxy-class starship attempting to revive a dying star only to accidentally cause it to turn into a supernova. “Come experience every exciting twist and turn this wild universe has to offer and help build a future everyone can be proud of!”
Scenes of Starfleet away teams and landing parties arriving on different alien ships and environments were shown next. “Yes, there are no limits when it comes to the infinite diversity and combinations just waiting for you as you embrace your new life in Starfleet! Travel aboard different ships as part of our on-again, off-again Officer Exchange Programs!”
“Yaaahhhhhh!” The scene switched to a shot of a Starfleet commander fighting a duel to the death aboard a Klingon Bird-of-Prey.
“Travel to exotic planets!”
“Aaahhhhhh!” Other clips showed various Starfleet personal struggling to survive the jungles of Goralis III, the monsoon season on Ferenginar, an electromagnetic lightning storm on Galorndon Core, the barren wastes of Vulcan’s Forge and the nightmarish surface conditions of an unknown Y-class planet.
“Travel through time!”
“AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!” The following clip showed a typical bridge full of fearless Starfleet officers as they helplessly tumbled through an enormous, wicked-looking temporal anomaly. “WAAAHHHHHH! HELP! MOMMY!”
“And that’s not all!” Mariner’s voice continued the narration. “Come explore strange new worlds and not-so-new civilizations while meeting new people and a slew of unforgettable intergalactic characters!”
A scrolling stream of profile pictures appeared next showing K'Ehleyr, Khan, Lwaxana Troi, Cyrano Jones, Sela, Kor, Garak, Berlinghoff Rasmussen, Quark, Trelane, Kai Winn, multiple Borg Queens and various Qs.
“Immerse yourself in different alien cultures as you work to establish new diplomatic channels while building lasting life-long professional and personal relationships!”
“Yahooo!” A gaggle of drunken Starfleet personnel were shown downing drinks at a rowdy bar along with a mob of various alien species. “Another round for everybody! Yeah!”
“So come join Starfleet as you work to better yourself and the rest of humanity!” Mariner’s narrating voice went on. “Learn essential life skills! How to pilot a ship!”
“WAAAHHHHHH!” A clip of a Defiant-class ship erratically flying through a dense asteroid field was shown.
“How to land!”
EEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!
The next shot showed the Enterprise-D’s saucer section hurling towards the surface of Veridian III. Which was then followed by clips of various runabouts crashing into different planets. “How not to land!”
“How to identify new life!”
“ARRRGGGHHH! HELP ME!” The next video showed a veteran Starfleet science officer being swallowed by a giant Phylosian carnivorous plant before being unceremoniously spat back out. “Ewww! Bleah!”
“How to build and operate complex technology!”
“Oh, you stupid machine! You’ve done it now!” Former Ensign Fletcher was seen using percussive maintenance on a presumably uncooperative computer terminal. “Die! Die! Die!”
“How to wear and fire a phaser!”
PHWZZZT!
“AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!” Starfleet security officers of various eras screamed as they literally shot each other in the foot.
“How to treat phaser burns and other related injuries!”
“Ohhh,” The previously depicted security officers were now shown lying on an array of biobeds while bandaged and wrapped up like mummies.
“Even the inevitable, eternal condition known as death is not an issue!” More clips showed Spock, Scotty, Worf, Deanna Troi, Tom Paris and Harry Kim dying before coming back to life. “Not that experiencing death is recommended.”
The montage went on with more clips of Starfleet ships and crews fighting, shooting and blowing various things up. “Just think! All of this could be yours!”
“Why waste your time doing this?” A shot of several people relaxing at a stunning Risian resort was shown.
“Or this?” More people were seen reading, playing three-dimensional chess and having a good time in various civilian settings.
“When you could be doing this!”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” A team of Starfleet personnel screamed as they frantically worked to repair a half-destroyed starship bridge, fight off a Borg boarding party, contain an ever-growing subspace tear and protect a strange, unknown alien lifeform all at the same time.
“Drama! Excitement! Pathos! Danger! Paradoxes! Ethical quandaries! Starfleet has it all!” Mariner’s voice continued to narrate. “Where else can you fight phaser- and torpedo-filled battles, kick loads of bad guy butt, shoot things and blow stuff up all in the name of exploration and science? It’s the greatest gig you’ll ever find!”
“So come join Starfleet, where every day could be your last!” A final shot of a starship leaping to warp was shown followed by Starfleet’s iconic delta insignia. “Remember, it’s not just a career. It’s an adventure! In space!”
The video finally ended leaving three very shocked, speechless ensigns gaping at the padd. Boimler was first to break the silence. “Okay…what…the heck…was that?”
“Starfleet’s latest recruiting pitch,” Mariner beamed proudly. “Pretty awesome, right?”
“Awesome isn’t exactly the word that comes to mind,” Rutherford managed to get out.
“It certainly was unique,” Tendi attempted to say something positive. “In a somewhat, almost, kind of good sort of way.”
“Are you crazy?” A stunned Boimler stared at Mariner in astonishment. “What am I saying? Whatever prompted you to make that indescribable media monstrosity in the first place?”
“Well, I got a head’s up that Ransom assigned me to man the local Starfleet recruitment booth at the next Federation planet we come to,” Mariner explained. “So instead of wasting my time dinking around on that lame-old duty, I went and whipped up this little beauty on the holodeck. Only took me a few minutes.”
“Really?” Rutherford blinked. “Wow. I’m impressed.”
“I’m surprised,” Tendi commented. “Why, I don’t know.”
“I’m horrified,” Boimler moaned shaking his head in befuddlement. “Please tell me that video was just a rough draft and that you haven’t sent it over the comm net yet.”
“Sorry, Boims. No-can-do,” Mariner informed him. “I just finished loading it into Ruthy’s modified relay processing core and its separate subspace antenna array is broadcasting the recruitment video across subspace as we speak.”
“What?!” Boimler yelped. “Oh no!”
“Ah, so that’s why you asked me to run a Level Three diagnostic on them,” Rutherford nodded. “And why you insisted I triple-check everything to make sure my modified relay processing core was functioning within operational parameters.”
“If only that didn’t happen for once,” Boimler groaned. “Ugh, okay. Fine. The damage has been done, but it might not be too bad. Odds are Mariner’s single, twisted-intentioned video will be soon ignored, lost and forgotten amongst all the far more important communications, signals and data streams flying across subspace.”
“Don’t be too sure about that, Boims,” Mariner warned. “Because technically, I didn’t make a video…”
“Huh?” Rutherford blinked, confused.
“Wait, you didn’t…?” Tendi began.
“Oh no,” Boimler moaned holding his head in realization. “She did!”
“Yo, what up peoples!” A second video with Mariner narrating began playing on the padd. “Tired of living a boring, carefree existence in an idyllic, replicator-saturated paradise? Need a creative outlet other than battling and blowing up fake things on a holodeck? Wanna add a little fun, zest and excitement into your life?”
“Well, yes,” Tendi and Rutherford admitted.
“Oh no,” Boimler warned. “Don’t you guys start!”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then why not give Starfleet a try!” Mariner’s recorded voice continued.
Scenes of Starfleet vessels delivering emergency relief supplies and averting planetary natural disasters were shown. “Live the life of your dreams and seize opportunities others can only fantasize about! Who knows what thrilling adventures are lying in wait for you! You may work to build a duck blind to observe a pre-warp civilization one moment and find yourself fighting off an alien invasion the next! Sometimes in the same day! With Starfleet, the sky’s the limit!”
“Yeah! Testify!” Rutherford cheered.
“I have to say, Mariner certainly knows how to persuade and inspire people,” Tendi noted.
“Yeah, to stay as far away from her and whatever crazy, mixed-up insanity she inevitably ends up causing as possible,” Boimler groaned.
“Are you a socially awkward loner who lives mainly through various entertainment mediums?” Mariner’s voice went on. “Then come join Starfleet to end your sad, remote and miserable way of life pretty darn quick!”
“Oh boy,” Boimler moaned. “Talk about insulting a significant portion of your target demographic.”
“Meet new friends and enjoy all the amazing experiences life has to offer!” The video changed to show a series of attractive, scantily clad humanoids of various species and genders. “Come join Starfleet and explore areas of the universe you never knew existed!”
“WHAT?!” Boimler yelped.
“Oh my,” Rutherford blushed. “That’s certainly one way to provide incentive and motivation. If a bit objectifying.”
“Eh, I’ve seen worse,” Tendi waved.
“Applications are being accepted now!” Mariner’s prerecorded voice continued her spiel. “You don’t even need to be a Federation citizen to apply! Just wangle a letter of reference from a sympathetic command-level sucker…I mean officer to take the Starfleet entrance examination today!”
“Oh geeze,” Boimler groaned as the second video came to an end. “I can see Starfleet’s once-untarnished reputation going down in flames before my very eyes! Starfleet will be lucky to get any new applicants or recruits after this!”
“I don’t know,” Tendi thought for a moment. “I think these recruitment videos will definitely appeal to certain groups of people.”
“Yeah, complete and utter nut jobs!” Boimler pointed out. “Just like the videos’ creator!”
“Hey, watch it, Boims. You know there’s only one true Beckett Mariner original,” Mariner said. “Thought I have to admit, it would be pretty cool to have more people in Starfleet who thought and acted like me.”
“An entire starship full of Mariners?” Rutherford blinked at the suggestion.
“The horror…the horror…” Boimler blanched.
“Aw, don’t worry, guys,” Tendi attempted to reassure her friends. “Remember all the academic and psychological tests Starfleet conducts to screen out those who can’t meet the exacting standards of living a life in space? Any significantly problematic applicants would be rejected in a heartbeat.”
“Yes, that’s right,” Boimler sighed in relief. “Starfleet Academy accepts only the best and brightest. Which still doesn’t explain how Mariner ever got in…”
“Hey there! Worried about meeting the ludicrously high performance standards set by Starfleet?” Mariner’s voice appeared once again to narrate a third montage of Starfleet-related clips and personnel. “Then skip applying to the Academy and just join up as an enlisted person! You get all the perks in less time without having to go through all the red tape just to sit in some boring old classroom for four years! And the standards are much lower! Heck, if you find the right training program, the standards are practically nonexistent!”
“On second thought,” Tendi blinked.
“So just skip the Academy to start serving and travelling among the stars!” Mariner’s voice went on. “Why burden yourself with a load of constricting rules and responsibility of being a senior officer when you can be a free, butt-kicking awesome member of Starfleet’s Lower Decks!”
“Why indeed?” Boimler groaned.
“You made three recruitment videos?” A stunned Rutherford stared at Mariner.
“Eh, what can I say? I was on a roll,” Mariner shrugged. “Sure, it might be a bit overkill, but these videos are sure to get me out from having to man some boring ol’ recruitment booth.”
“ENSIGN MARINER! REPORT TO THE CAPTAIN’S READY ROOM AT ONCE!” Commander Ransom’s irritated voice was heard the length and breadth of the Cerritos. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE THAT TRIO OF OUTRAGEOUS, DISRESPECTFUL STARFLEET RECRUITMENT VIDEOS WITHOUT CONSULTING HER FIRST! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WITHOUT OFFERING ME TO APPEAR IN ANY OF THEM!”
“But they are sure to get you into serving another prolonged period in the Brig,” Tendi pointed out.
“Eh, won’t be the first time,” Mariner waved. “Shoulda known Freeman would object to my videos in some way. Ha, at least I’ll never have to worry about being assigned to recruitment duty again.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Rutherford scratched his head.
“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll let Cap know you all had nothing to do with the videos,” Mariner assured her friends. “Unless they end up resulting in something good. I’ll even give you guys a share of credit.”
“Do us a favor,” Boimler begged. “Don’t!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
--------------------------------------
Starfleet Wants You!
“Hey guys!” Mariner sauntered up waving a padd at her friends. “You gotta check this out!”
“Oooo, what is it?” Tendi asked curiously getting out from her bunk.
“Oh boy,” Boimler braced himself. “This isn’t another video of Vice Admiral Gibson being dunked in a vat of live gagh, is it?”
“Nope, even better,” Mariner grinned holding her padd up for all to see. “Just sit back and watch this!”
“Hey there!” Mariner’s voice could be heard accompanied by a slow panoramic shot of a mysterious, awe-inspiring stellar phenomenon accompanied by a vast, star-filled background. “Do you dream about living and exploring amongst the infinite mysteries of space? Do you yearn to boldly voyage across the unknown, thrilling depths of the final frontier? Do you like shooting things and want to blow stuff up in ways no one has done before? Well, now you can!”
A brief glimpse of a sleek Starfleet vessel jumping to warp speed was shown followed by a montage of various Starfleet-related clips. “Come join Starfleet and discover all the wonders the galaxy has to offer!”
“Huh?” Boimler, Tendi and Rutherford gawked in surprise at the padd’s screen.
“Are you tired of listening to your parents complaining about you lying around and not living up to your potential?” Mariner’s voice went on. “Then head to the nearest recruitment office and let Starfleet give your life the direction and purpose no one else will!”
The scene switched to a Galaxy-class starship attempting to revive a dying star only to accidentally cause it to turn into a supernova. “Come experience every exciting twist and turn this wild universe has to offer and help build a future everyone can be proud of!”
Scenes of Starfleet away teams and landing parties arriving on different alien ships and environments were shown next. “Yes, there are no limits when it comes to the infinite diversity and combinations just waiting for you as you embrace your new life in Starfleet! Travel aboard different ships as part of our on-again, off-again Officer Exchange Programs!”
“Yaaahhhhhh!” The scene switched to a shot of a Starfleet commander fighting a duel to the death aboard a Klingon Bird-of-Prey.
“Travel to exotic planets!”
“Aaahhhhhh!” Other clips showed various Starfleet personal struggling to survive the jungles of Goralis III, the monsoon season on Ferenginar, an electromagnetic lightning storm on Galorndon Core, the barren wastes of Vulcan’s Forge and the nightmarish surface conditions of an unknown Y-class planet.
“Travel through time!”
“AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!” The following clip showed a typical bridge full of fearless Starfleet officers as they helplessly tumbled through an enormous, wicked-looking temporal anomaly. “WAAAHHHHHH! HELP! MOMMY!”
“And that’s not all!” Mariner’s voice continued the narration. “Come explore strange new worlds and not-so-new civilizations while meeting new people and a slew of unforgettable intergalactic characters!”
A scrolling stream of profile pictures appeared next showing K'Ehleyr, Khan, Lwaxana Troi, Cyrano Jones, Sela, Kor, Garak, Berlinghoff Rasmussen, Quark, Trelane, Kai Winn, multiple Borg Queens and various Qs.
“Immerse yourself in different alien cultures as you work to establish new diplomatic channels while building lasting life-long professional and personal relationships!”
“Yahooo!” A gaggle of drunken Starfleet personnel were shown downing drinks at a rowdy bar along with a mob of various alien species. “Another round for everybody! Yeah!”
“So come join Starfleet as you work to better yourself and the rest of humanity!” Mariner’s narrating voice went on. “Learn essential life skills! How to pilot a ship!”
“WAAAHHHHHH!” A clip of a Defiant-class ship erratically flying through a dense asteroid field was shown.
“How to land!”
EEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!
The next shot showed the Enterprise-D’s saucer section hurling towards the surface of Veridian III. Which was then followed by clips of various runabouts crashing into different planets. “How not to land!”
“How to identify new life!”
“ARRRGGGHHH! HELP ME!” The next video showed a veteran Starfleet science officer being swallowed by a giant Phylosian carnivorous plant before being unceremoniously spat back out. “Ewww! Bleah!”
“How to build and operate complex technology!”
“Oh, you stupid machine! You’ve done it now!” Former Ensign Fletcher was seen using percussive maintenance on a presumably uncooperative computer terminal. “Die! Die! Die!”
“How to wear and fire a phaser!”
PHWZZZT!
“AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!” Starfleet security officers of various eras screamed as they literally shot each other in the foot.
“How to treat phaser burns and other related injuries!”
“Ohhh,” The previously depicted security officers were now shown lying on an array of biobeds while bandaged and wrapped up like mummies.
“Even the inevitable, eternal condition known as death is not an issue!” More clips showed Spock, Scotty, Worf, Deanna Troi, Tom Paris and Harry Kim dying before coming back to life. “Not that experiencing death is recommended.”
The montage went on with more clips of Starfleet ships and crews fighting, shooting and blowing various things up. “Just think! All of this could be yours!”
“Why waste your time doing this?” A shot of several people relaxing at a stunning Risian resort was shown.
“Or this?” More people were seen reading, playing three-dimensional chess and having a good time in various civilian settings.
“When you could be doing this!”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” A team of Starfleet personnel screamed as they frantically worked to repair a half-destroyed starship bridge, fight off a Borg boarding party, contain an ever-growing subspace tear and protect a strange, unknown alien lifeform all at the same time.
“Drama! Excitement! Pathos! Danger! Paradoxes! Ethical quandaries! Starfleet has it all!” Mariner’s voice continued to narrate. “Where else can you fight phaser- and torpedo-filled battles, kick loads of bad guy butt, shoot things and blow stuff up all in the name of exploration and science? It’s the greatest gig you’ll ever find!”
“So come join Starfleet, where every day could be your last!” A final shot of a starship leaping to warp was shown followed by Starfleet’s iconic delta insignia. “Remember, it’s not just a career. It’s an adventure! In space!”
The video finally ended leaving three very shocked, speechless ensigns gaping at the padd. Boimler was first to break the silence. “Okay…what…the heck…was that?”
“Starfleet’s latest recruiting pitch,” Mariner beamed proudly. “Pretty awesome, right?”
“Awesome isn’t exactly the word that comes to mind,” Rutherford managed to get out.
“It certainly was unique,” Tendi attempted to say something positive. “In a somewhat, almost, kind of good sort of way.”
“Are you crazy?” A stunned Boimler stared at Mariner in astonishment. “What am I saying? Whatever prompted you to make that indescribable media monstrosity in the first place?”
“Well, I got a head’s up that Ransom assigned me to man the local Starfleet recruitment booth at the next Federation planet we come to,” Mariner explained. “So instead of wasting my time dinking around on that lame-old duty, I went and whipped up this little beauty on the holodeck. Only took me a few minutes.”
“Really?” Rutherford blinked. “Wow. I’m impressed.”
“I’m surprised,” Tendi commented. “Why, I don’t know.”
“I’m horrified,” Boimler moaned shaking his head in befuddlement. “Please tell me that video was just a rough draft and that you haven’t sent it over the comm net yet.”
“Sorry, Boims. No-can-do,” Mariner informed him. “I just finished loading it into Ruthy’s modified relay processing core and its separate subspace antenna array is broadcasting the recruitment video across subspace as we speak.”
“What?!” Boimler yelped. “Oh no!”
“Ah, so that’s why you asked me to run a Level Three diagnostic on them,” Rutherford nodded. “And why you insisted I triple-check everything to make sure my modified relay processing core was functioning within operational parameters.”
“If only that didn’t happen for once,” Boimler groaned. “Ugh, okay. Fine. The damage has been done, but it might not be too bad. Odds are Mariner’s single, twisted-intentioned video will be soon ignored, lost and forgotten amongst all the far more important communications, signals and data streams flying across subspace.”
“Don’t be too sure about that, Boims,” Mariner warned. “Because technically, I didn’t make a video…”
“Huh?” Rutherford blinked, confused.
“Wait, you didn’t…?” Tendi began.
“Oh no,” Boimler moaned holding his head in realization. “She did!”
“Yo, what up peoples!” A second video with Mariner narrating began playing on the padd. “Tired of living a boring, carefree existence in an idyllic, replicator-saturated paradise? Need a creative outlet other than battling and blowing up fake things on a holodeck? Wanna add a little fun, zest and excitement into your life?”
“Well, yes,” Tendi and Rutherford admitted.
“Oh no,” Boimler warned. “Don’t you guys start!”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then why not give Starfleet a try!” Mariner’s recorded voice continued.
Scenes of Starfleet vessels delivering emergency relief supplies and averting planetary natural disasters were shown. “Live the life of your dreams and seize opportunities others can only fantasize about! Who knows what thrilling adventures are lying in wait for you! You may work to build a duck blind to observe a pre-warp civilization one moment and find yourself fighting off an alien invasion the next! Sometimes in the same day! With Starfleet, the sky’s the limit!”
“Yeah! Testify!” Rutherford cheered.
“I have to say, Mariner certainly knows how to persuade and inspire people,” Tendi noted.
“Yeah, to stay as far away from her and whatever crazy, mixed-up insanity she inevitably ends up causing as possible,” Boimler groaned.
“Are you a socially awkward loner who lives mainly through various entertainment mediums?” Mariner’s voice went on. “Then come join Starfleet to end your sad, remote and miserable way of life pretty darn quick!”
“Oh boy,” Boimler moaned. “Talk about insulting a significant portion of your target demographic.”
“Meet new friends and enjoy all the amazing experiences life has to offer!” The video changed to show a series of attractive, scantily clad humanoids of various species and genders. “Come join Starfleet and explore areas of the universe you never knew existed!”
“WHAT?!” Boimler yelped.
“Oh my,” Rutherford blushed. “That’s certainly one way to provide incentive and motivation. If a bit objectifying.”
“Eh, I’ve seen worse,” Tendi waved.
“Applications are being accepted now!” Mariner’s prerecorded voice continued her spiel. “You don’t even need to be a Federation citizen to apply! Just wangle a letter of reference from a sympathetic command-level sucker…I mean officer to take the Starfleet entrance examination today!”
“Oh geeze,” Boimler groaned as the second video came to an end. “I can see Starfleet’s once-untarnished reputation going down in flames before my very eyes! Starfleet will be lucky to get any new applicants or recruits after this!”
“I don’t know,” Tendi thought for a moment. “I think these recruitment videos will definitely appeal to certain groups of people.”
“Yeah, complete and utter nut jobs!” Boimler pointed out. “Just like the videos’ creator!”
“Hey, watch it, Boims. You know there’s only one true Beckett Mariner original,” Mariner said. “Thought I have to admit, it would be pretty cool to have more people in Starfleet who thought and acted like me.”
“An entire starship full of Mariners?” Rutherford blinked at the suggestion.
“The horror…the horror…” Boimler blanched.
“Aw, don’t worry, guys,” Tendi attempted to reassure her friends. “Remember all the academic and psychological tests Starfleet conducts to screen out those who can’t meet the exacting standards of living a life in space? Any significantly problematic applicants would be rejected in a heartbeat.”
“Yes, that’s right,” Boimler sighed in relief. “Starfleet Academy accepts only the best and brightest. Which still doesn’t explain how Mariner ever got in…”
“Hey there! Worried about meeting the ludicrously high performance standards set by Starfleet?” Mariner’s voice appeared once again to narrate a third montage of Starfleet-related clips and personnel. “Then skip applying to the Academy and just join up as an enlisted person! You get all the perks in less time without having to go through all the red tape just to sit in some boring old classroom for four years! And the standards are much lower! Heck, if you find the right training program, the standards are practically nonexistent!”
“On second thought,” Tendi blinked.
“So just skip the Academy to start serving and travelling among the stars!” Mariner’s voice went on. “Why burden yourself with a load of constricting rules and responsibility of being a senior officer when you can be a free, butt-kicking awesome member of Starfleet’s Lower Decks!”
“Why indeed?” Boimler groaned.
“You made three recruitment videos?” A stunned Rutherford stared at Mariner.
“Eh, what can I say? I was on a roll,” Mariner shrugged. “Sure, it might be a bit overkill, but these videos are sure to get me out from having to man some boring ol’ recruitment booth.”
“ENSIGN MARINER! REPORT TO THE CAPTAIN’S READY ROOM AT ONCE!” Commander Ransom’s irritated voice was heard the length and breadth of the Cerritos. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE THAT TRIO OF OUTRAGEOUS, DISRESPECTFUL STARFLEET RECRUITMENT VIDEOS WITHOUT CONSULTING HER FIRST! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WITHOUT OFFERING ME TO APPEAR IN ANY OF THEM!”
“But they are sure to get you into serving another prolonged period in the Brig,” Tendi pointed out.
“Eh, won’t be the first time,” Mariner waved. “Shoulda known Freeman would object to my videos in some way. Ha, at least I’ll never have to worry about being assigned to recruitment duty again.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Rutherford scratched his head.
“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll let Cap know you all had nothing to do with the videos,” Mariner assured her friends. “Unless they end up resulting in something good. I’ll even give you guys a share of credit.”
“Do us a favor,” Boimler begged. “Don’t!”
--------------------------------------
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
Last edited:
