Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Rebels, Rebels Everywhere (And Not A Lot to Think)
“Man, this is great,” Rutherford smiled as he scanned a series of relays. “Nothing like checking over some slightly used equipment on an exotic planet to make one feel alive.”
“Stop sugar coating things, Ruthy. Just say it like it is,” Mariner scolded while idlily spinning a tricorder on her finger. “We’re setting up a combined science station slash embassy to monitor a recently contacted civilization. In other words, we’re decorating an overhyped Federation culture booth. Big deal.”
“Well, establishing a good foundation for future working relations and diplomatic channels is what second contact is all about,” Boimler reminded unloading more equipment and supplies from a cargo container. “Along with making sure we’re pronouncing all the local names correctly so we don’t end up accidentally offending anyone.”
“And conducting complimentary medical checkups too,” Tendi chirped while working next to Rutherford. “Expanding the frontiers of knowledge while helping out the locals at the same time. How could things be better than this?”
“I can think of one or two dozen ways,” Mariner quipped. “For starters, we could do something actually constructive and build this new science station a bar. That would really help promote future multicultural interactions…”
“Oh no,” Boimler groaned. “Don’t even think about it!”
“Sorry. Already did,” Mariner smirked. “And it’s one of my better ideas too.”
“Will you just quit slacking off and please get back to work?” Boimler pleaded. “Before we end up getting demerits or worse, falling behind schedule.”
“No problem-o, Boims,” Mariner smiled quickly moving into action. “Let’s kick things up a notch and get this decorating duty done!”
“Wow. You actually listened to me for once,” Boimler blinked watching Mariner work at rapid speed. “I have to admit, I was not expecting that.”
“Well, you know me, Boims. Always doing the unexpected,” Mariner said. “Now get your weaselly little butt in gear and work on setting a new science station construction record.”
“So we can set new working standards for ourselves, take pride in our accomplishments and request more work assignments from our superiors?” Tendi asked.
“No, so we can knock off work early and check out the local bars,” Mariner smirked. “That’s a much better idea than building a new bar of our own. I already know what Federation alcoholic beverages taste like. Along with a few dozen non-Federation ones…”
“I should have known,” Boimler sighed.
“Hey, maybe we can find a local equipment surplus venue too,” Rutherford suggested. “I’d love to learn more about the locals’ technological development level.”
“The Donapri have a typical post-industrial, early spacefaring technological rating,” Boimler reminded referring to the planet’s dominant native sentient species. “Nothing particularly special about it.”
“Though you have to admit, they do make for some great eye candy,” Mariner smirked.
“Thank you once again for granting us an exclusive tour of your new science facility,” A young female Donapri official smiled as Commander Ransom lead her and her retinue around the partially built station. All the Donapri had glistening silver skin, sported a multitude of colored, stylized hair and were stunningly attractive. “News of such a personal visitation is sure to be a social and media hit.”
“No problem, Minster Davi,” Ransom grinned walking next to her. “And this isn’t the only personal thing I can show you.”
“Really? How thrilling,” The Donapri Minster Davi twittered. “Do you mind if we record and take more pictures of our visit?”
“Of course not,” Ransom smiled leaning towards her and striking a pose. “Feel free to take all the pictures you want.”
“Thank you,” Minister Davi beamed posing with him as two members of her retinue proceeded to photograph them. “I can’t wait to display myself standing with a real alien visitor from another planet! I wasn’t able to take any with the first group of Federation visitors due to my partaking in a rare and extensive skin care regimen at the time. These new pictures will be sure to keep me on our world’s top recognition and exaltation index for at least the next week.”
“Is it just me, or do the Donapri seem kind of obsessed about appearances and popularity?” Boimler asked as Ransom, Minister Davi and their party passed by.
“Eh, must be a social thing,” Mariner shrugged. “Though I have to say, there’s something about these political muckety-mucks that seems a little off. We can find out more about it later during our bar hopping expedition.”
“Yeah, it will be a complete cultural immersion experience!” Tendi chirped excitedly. “Just the sort of wonderous opportunity I’d hoped to seize while happily serving in Starfleet.”
“Yeah, it should be great,” Rutherford agreed. “And we can even write up a report about all our new cultural findings too!”
“Well, whaddya say, Boims?” Mariner smirked knowingly. “You gonna deny your best friends the chance to achieve personal and professional enlightenment?”
“Fine, we’ll go,” Boimler sighed giving in. “But only after we finish all our assigned work. And only after getting Commander Ransom’s permission! And only if you promise not to involve us in any kind of senseless altercation or bar fight…”
KA-BOOOM!
“Too late,” Boimler groaned as a massive explosion suddenly rocked the building. “And we haven’t even found a bar yet. That’s got to be some kind of record!”
“Ahhh, what was that?” Tendi yelped.
“It wasn’t me!” Rutherford protested holding up his hands.
“Me neither,” Mariner defended. “For once…”
“Minister Davi!” A Donapri security guard rushed up to her. “The Federation science station is under attack! UCF forces have launched a surprise assault!”
“The who?” Ransom blinked, confused.
“The United Centralist Front,” Davi explained quickly. “A group of self-proclaimed revolutionaries opposed to the very principles of our government. Ugh, this is so embarrassing. Those infuriating rebels grow more and more brazen every day.”
“Rebels?” Rutherford blinked, surprised.
“Wait, does that mean there’s a planetary rebellion going on right now?” Tendi gasped in shock. “That wasn’t in the mission briefing.”
“Gee, looks like Starfleet’s first contact team somehow managed to neglect noticing that little detail,” Mariner drawled. “Bunch of slackers.”
“Look who’s talking,” Boimler gave her a look.
“The perimeter’s been breached! Rebels are pouring into the station!” The security guard continued. “We have to get everyone to safety now!”
“Equality and Justice forever!” A trio of armed, masked figures suddenly burst into view. “Down with the establishment! Freedom and liberty now!”
“Look out!” Davi yelled as the masked figures opened fire. The group of security guards accompanying Davi and her retinue quickly shot back.
“Aha! I knew there was something fishy about these preening government types,” Mariner noted as she and her friends took cover behind various consoles and cargo containers. “Guess this away mission isn’t so bad after all!”
“Are you crazy?!” Boimler yelped as weapons fire filled the air. “What am I saying?”
“What do we do, Commander?” Rutherford asked while worriedly clutching his tool kit.
“The only thing we can do,” Ransom declared huddling next to him. He tapped his combadge in determination. “Ransom to Cerritos. We seem to be caught in the middle of some kind of Donapri civil war.”
“Understood,” Captain Freeman replied. “Prepare for emergency beam out.”
“WHAT?!” Mariner yelled in disbelief. “Are you nuts? We can’t just leave like this!”
“That’s exactly what you’re going to do, Ensign!” Freeman ordered having overheard Mariner’s shouts. “The fight down there is an internal Donapri affair. It doesn’t involve us.”
“The heck it doesn’t!” Mariner snapped into Ransom’s combadge. “We’re literally being shot at by Donapri forces right now!”
“Not intentionally,” Tendi pointed out. “We just happen to be caught in the crossfire.”
“All the more reason to evacuate and return to the Cerritos,” Ransom said. “Before somebody gets hurt.”
“People are already getting hurt,” Mariner shouted over the din. “You heard those rebel guys. They’re fighting for freedom against a cruel, oppressive government. We have to help!”
“No, we don’t!” Ransom glared. “We are Starfleet. We don’t interfere in the course of a society’s natural development. The Prime Directive applies.”
“Well said, sir,” Boimler agreed.
“Shut it, Boims! Adults are talking now!” Mariner snapped. “Now look here, Jack…”
“That’s enough, Beckett!” Freeman roared over the channel. “We can discuss your own borderline rebellious behavior in private once you all return to the ship.” The sound of Freeman tapping her combadge was heard. “Freeman to Transporter Room One. Prepare to…”
“Forget that!” Mariner snapped tossing her tricorder at Boimler.
“What the?” A surprised Boimler yelped. He quickly ducked causing the tricorder to miss him and hit a nearby control panel instead.
“Commander, what is going on down there?” Freeman’s voice was heard. “Sensors show the science station’s shields just went up. We can’t beam you out.”
“Wow. That’s the one of the few systems we finished bringing online,” Rutherford commented. “What a coincidence.”
“Huh?” Ransom blinked in surprise. “How did the shields suddenly…Mariner!”
“Oops. Sorry, sir,” Mariner innocently held up her hands. “My tricorder simply slipped out of my hands and raised the station’s shields. It was an accident. Honest.”
“Honest, my well-toned gluteus maximus!” Ransom snapped. “Lower the station’s shields right now or…!”
“Freeze! Nobody move!” A pair of armed, masked Donapri barked leveling their weapons at them. Other masked Donapri watched over a sitting Minister Davi, her retinue and the group of stunned, fallen security guards. “You are now prisoners of the United Centralist Front!”
“Oh great. Not again,” Boimler groaned as the masked Donapri quickly seized the Starfleet officers’ weapons, tools and combadges. “I hate being taken prisoner.”
“Wait a minute,” Ransom said getting to his feet. “I’m Commander Jack Ransom of the Federation starship Cerritos. I formally request that…”
“Quiet, alien,” One of the masked Donapri cut him off. “You’ll have a chance to speak later.”
“This is outrageous!” Davi fumed glaring at her captors. “You rebels will never get away with this!”
“Oh, I think we will,” The leader of the Donapri rebels said looming over her. “Now that we have captured you, the government will be forced to listen to our demands.”
“Oh, dream on,” Davi sneered. “And I thought you rebels were delusional before.”
“Quiet, Minister!” The rebel leader warned. “That’s no way to talk to you mother.”
“Mother?!” All the Starfleet personnel blinked.
“Yes, Mother,” The rebel leader removed her mask revealing the face of a stern, hard-nosed woman of late middle age. “Kids these days. They have no respect for their elders.”
“Huh?” Mariner gawked as the other Donapri rebels unmasked, each of them clearly middle-aged with a noticeable tenacity of being slightly overweight. “Are you kidding me?”
“Wow,” Tendi stared. “I have to admit, this is unexpected.”
“I’ll say,” Rutherford blinked.
“Visitors from the Federation,” The unmasked rebel leader addressed them. “I am Citizen Pora, leader of the United Centralist Front. I’m here to expose the cruel and corrupt system of government that keeps unfit personages like Minister Davi here in power.”
“Oh, quit it with the dramatic bombast,” Pavi snapped. “You’re just jealous that you finally grew old, lost your looks and were voted out of office. Just like every other aged, delusional leader Donprai has ever had.”
“That’s exactly the kind of biased, discriminatory attitude that has infected all of Donapri society for thousands of years,” Pora glared. “Everyone is judged solely on their personal attractiveness, lifestyle and perceived level of popularity.”
“Because that’s what the public likes,” Davi defended. “People want their leaders to be young, beautiful and entertaining. Not washed-up old has-beens like you. It’s a fundamental fact of life.”
“Gotta admit she has a point,” Mariner commented. “Not that I agree with it…”
“It’s irresponsible, that’s what it is!” Pora snapped. “People should be judged on their personal abilities and capabilities, not their looks or what attracts the most societal admiration.”
“You’re only saying that because your looks waved bye-bye to your face and figure long ago,” Davi sneered. “You only became a rebel once your waistline grew out and developed along with your hips and wrinkles. Again, just like all our other previous leaders.”
“Huh?” Boimler frowned at the new information. “Wait, if you’ve had an appearance-based society for thousands of years…just how long has this rebellion been going on?”
“Oh, only a few centuries,” Pora waved.
“WHAT?!” All the Starfleet personnel yelped.
“I know, right?” Davi said misreading their reactions. “These darn adults are so insufferably annoying. Things are all fine and dandy when they’re young and their popularity numbers are high, but the minute they lose their looks, boom! They go and rebel against every known form of authority!”
“Because we finally grew up and realized just how stupid the basis for that form of authority is,” Pora glared at her. “The same thing will happen to the rest of you naïve kids someday.”
“Ha, that’ll never happen,” Davi declared preening. “I’m going to stay young and popular and beautiful for the rest of my life!”
“Good luck with that,” Mariner quipped.
“Now who’s delusional?” Pora sneered at Davi in contempt. “You kids still act like you’re a bunch of whiny, spoiled teenagers who ignore your elders and think all our opinions are useless!”
“We’re the ones who continue to grant you endless parental fidelity and generous social welfare assistance,” Davi shot back. “Along with taking care of all the hard work you’re no longer capable of doing. You should be grateful!”
“Just like you should be grateful for the powder room full of makeup you slather onto your face every day,” Pora taunted. “If people every saw your real pimple-covered hide, they’d vote you out of office in a heartbeat.”
“WHAT?!” Davi shrieked. “TAKE THAT BACK!”
“MAKE ME!” Pora yelled.
“Wow, this certainly is a strange not-quite-as-new world,” Tendi blinked as Minster Davi and Citizen Pora continued to scream at each other. “I’ve never seen such an unusual occurrence of parents rebelling against their kids. Or even read about it.”
“Okay, maybe making presumptions about the Donapri rebels wasn’t such a good idea after all,” Mariner grumbled.
“No, you think?” Boimler gave her a look.
“Though I can definitely see why Minister Davi wants to stamp out the rebellion,” Mariner commented watching Davi and Pora fight. “That old lady of hers sure is an annoying, overbearing control freak. She reminds me of my mom.”
“Really?” Rutherford glanced at her. “What’s your mom like?”
“Can we meet her?” Boimler asked hopefully. “I have a few questions I’d love to know the answers to…”
“No!” Mariner shouted quickly. “I mean, you don’t know my mom. None of you do. She travels a lot. Odds are you won’t be able to meet her in any way. Ever!”
“Aw, that’s too bad,” Tendi commented. “Your mom sounds kind of interesting. You must be really close to her.”
“Not really,” Mariner snorted. “We haven’t seen eye-to-eye on things for so long I doubt we ever will.”
“Well, you did initially side with the Donapri rebels,” Rutherford pointed out. “So in a weird way, you did manage to side with your mom.”
“What?!” Mariner yelped in shock. “Oh man, you’re right! What have I done? Bad Mariner! Bad Mariner!”
“Well, those are two words I certainly don’t hear you mutter every day,” Boimler noted at Mariner’s behavior. “Though Q knows I’ve repeated them a few hundred times too many…”
BOOM!
“Oh great,” Boimler groaned as another explosion was heard in the background. “Now what?”
“Surrender!” Another group of masked Donapri stormed into the area riding a collection anti-grav chairs, scooters and carts. “The liberators of oppressed Donapri everywhere are here!”
“Oh no,” Both Davi and Pora groaned at the sight. “Not these guys again!”
“That’s strange?” Rutherford frowned. “How did those guys manage to get into here in the first place? The station’s shields are still up.”
“They must’ve already been in a different area of the station,” Tendi reasoned.
“Ha! It’s over, Minster!” The leader of the masked newcomers cackled. “The days of your incompetent rule have finally come to an end!”
“Not to you they have,” Pora declared. “Unless you’ve finally chosen to cease your ridiculous behavior and return to operating under the authority of the United Centralized Front.”
“Ha! Not likely!” The masked newcomer sneered pointing at Davi. “You and your UCF lunatics are just as bad as her.”
“Huh?” Ransom blinked, confused. “Wait, aren’t you with the UCF?”
“Of course not!” The newcomer whipped off his mask to reveal a very elderly Donapri. “I, Commander Inze, may have fought as one of the UCF before, but will never do so again! We will no longer be subordinate to the UFC’s overbearing authority!”
“Huh?” Boimler stared, stunned. “You’re saying you are rebelling against the rebellion?”
“You bet your sweet bippy we are!” Commander Inze declared as the rest of the newcomers unmasked revealing a crowd of elderly Donapri faces. “It’s past time Donapri’s true leadership standards are set. Leadership based on one’s age, experience and the respect that rightfully comes with both!”
“Aw, shut up, you old fool!” Davi snapped. “There’s no way people will ever willingly choose to be led by a bunch of wrinkled old fogeys way past their physical, mental and intellectual prime.”
“Yeah!” Pora agreed. “The notion of having extremely elderly personages as leaders is even more outlandish than granting political and social authority to a bunch of clueless, pretty-faced kids. What kind of messed up, inefficient society would ever have a governmental system like that?”
“Boy, ladies,” Mariner whistled. “Are you ever in for a shock.”
“Be quiet, ya little whippersnapper!” Inze barked pounding the armrests of his anti-grav chair. “It was bad enough having to fight alongside an arrogant upstart like you, but having you replace me as leader of the glorious rebellion was the last straw!”
“It’s the fate of every parent to eventually be replaced by their kids,” Pora snapped. “Change is inevitable!”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been saying,” Davi pointed out. “So why don’t both of you old fogeys lay down your arms, get some serious makeovers and beg that the government shows you mercy.”
“WHAT?! NEVER!” Pora and Inze howled. “YOU CAN’T STOP THE REBELLION!”
“Wanna bet?” Davi shouted leaping up and ripping a weapon from a surprised UFC fighter’s hands. “GET THEM!”
“Yaaahhh!” The other members of Davi’s retinue cried and quickly seized more weapons before turning them on their former owners. “SURRENDER, YOU DARN DIRTY REBELS!”
“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!” Every member of the two opposing groups roared and began firing at the newly armed government members while also shooting at each other. “LONG LIVE THE REBELLION! LOVE LIVE THE REVOLUTION!”
“Oh boy. Here we go again,” Boimler moaned as the three-way fight quickly turned into a free-for-all. “So much for experiencing a calm and peaceful second contact.”
“Though on the bright side, we’re able to confirm that rebellion among a society’s different generations is yet another example of parallel planetary development,” Tendi pointed out.
“Guess some things really are universal,” Rutherford noted.
“Yeah, like death, entropy and sentient beings’ capacity for stupidity,” Mariner quipped. “Or in this case, insanity.”
“Said the transporter to the holodeck,” Boimler muttered.
“Will everyone please just calm down?” Ransom shouted cautiously rising up from cover. “The Federation will not interfere in whatever internal conflict your society is currently experiencing, but we would be more than willing to act as mediators to help settle any dispute…”
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Davi, Pora and Inze yelled shooting at Ransom.
“Ahhh!” Ransom yelped ducking back down.
“Way to be diplomatic there, Jack,” Mariner drawled. “Maybe you oughta listen to the locals and don’t get involved in the current situation.”
“A situation we wouldn’t be in if you had listened to me and obeyed orders from the beginning,” Ransom glared at her. “Starfleet officers don’t involve themselves in other civilizations’ natural internal developments. Avoiding getting into situations like this is exactly why the Prime Directive exists.”
“This is why I should work alone the next time I support a rebellion to help root out injustice,” Mariner muttered under her breath. “And why I keep a healthy stock of alcoholic beverages back onboard the ship.”
“This is why I’m an engineer and not a diplomat,” Rutherford gulped as the firefight continued to rage around them.
“This kind of real-world encounter with murky ethical moral dilemmas is why I joined Starfleet in the first place,” Tendi added.
“And this is why I keep submitting promotion applications to other ships,” Boimler groaned.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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Rebels, Rebels Everywhere (And Not A Lot to Think)
“Man, this is great,” Rutherford smiled as he scanned a series of relays. “Nothing like checking over some slightly used equipment on an exotic planet to make one feel alive.”
“Stop sugar coating things, Ruthy. Just say it like it is,” Mariner scolded while idlily spinning a tricorder on her finger. “We’re setting up a combined science station slash embassy to monitor a recently contacted civilization. In other words, we’re decorating an overhyped Federation culture booth. Big deal.”
“Well, establishing a good foundation for future working relations and diplomatic channels is what second contact is all about,” Boimler reminded unloading more equipment and supplies from a cargo container. “Along with making sure we’re pronouncing all the local names correctly so we don’t end up accidentally offending anyone.”
“And conducting complimentary medical checkups too,” Tendi chirped while working next to Rutherford. “Expanding the frontiers of knowledge while helping out the locals at the same time. How could things be better than this?”
“I can think of one or two dozen ways,” Mariner quipped. “For starters, we could do something actually constructive and build this new science station a bar. That would really help promote future multicultural interactions…”
“Oh no,” Boimler groaned. “Don’t even think about it!”
“Sorry. Already did,” Mariner smirked. “And it’s one of my better ideas too.”
“Will you just quit slacking off and please get back to work?” Boimler pleaded. “Before we end up getting demerits or worse, falling behind schedule.”
“No problem-o, Boims,” Mariner smiled quickly moving into action. “Let’s kick things up a notch and get this decorating duty done!”
“Wow. You actually listened to me for once,” Boimler blinked watching Mariner work at rapid speed. “I have to admit, I was not expecting that.”
“Well, you know me, Boims. Always doing the unexpected,” Mariner said. “Now get your weaselly little butt in gear and work on setting a new science station construction record.”
“So we can set new working standards for ourselves, take pride in our accomplishments and request more work assignments from our superiors?” Tendi asked.
“No, so we can knock off work early and check out the local bars,” Mariner smirked. “That’s a much better idea than building a new bar of our own. I already know what Federation alcoholic beverages taste like. Along with a few dozen non-Federation ones…”
“I should have known,” Boimler sighed.
“Hey, maybe we can find a local equipment surplus venue too,” Rutherford suggested. “I’d love to learn more about the locals’ technological development level.”
“The Donapri have a typical post-industrial, early spacefaring technological rating,” Boimler reminded referring to the planet’s dominant native sentient species. “Nothing particularly special about it.”
“Though you have to admit, they do make for some great eye candy,” Mariner smirked.
“Thank you once again for granting us an exclusive tour of your new science facility,” A young female Donapri official smiled as Commander Ransom lead her and her retinue around the partially built station. All the Donapri had glistening silver skin, sported a multitude of colored, stylized hair and were stunningly attractive. “News of such a personal visitation is sure to be a social and media hit.”
“No problem, Minster Davi,” Ransom grinned walking next to her. “And this isn’t the only personal thing I can show you.”
“Really? How thrilling,” The Donapri Minster Davi twittered. “Do you mind if we record and take more pictures of our visit?”
“Of course not,” Ransom smiled leaning towards her and striking a pose. “Feel free to take all the pictures you want.”
“Thank you,” Minister Davi beamed posing with him as two members of her retinue proceeded to photograph them. “I can’t wait to display myself standing with a real alien visitor from another planet! I wasn’t able to take any with the first group of Federation visitors due to my partaking in a rare and extensive skin care regimen at the time. These new pictures will be sure to keep me on our world’s top recognition and exaltation index for at least the next week.”
“Is it just me, or do the Donapri seem kind of obsessed about appearances and popularity?” Boimler asked as Ransom, Minister Davi and their party passed by.
“Eh, must be a social thing,” Mariner shrugged. “Though I have to say, there’s something about these political muckety-mucks that seems a little off. We can find out more about it later during our bar hopping expedition.”
“Yeah, it will be a complete cultural immersion experience!” Tendi chirped excitedly. “Just the sort of wonderous opportunity I’d hoped to seize while happily serving in Starfleet.”
“Yeah, it should be great,” Rutherford agreed. “And we can even write up a report about all our new cultural findings too!”
“Well, whaddya say, Boims?” Mariner smirked knowingly. “You gonna deny your best friends the chance to achieve personal and professional enlightenment?”
“Fine, we’ll go,” Boimler sighed giving in. “But only after we finish all our assigned work. And only after getting Commander Ransom’s permission! And only if you promise not to involve us in any kind of senseless altercation or bar fight…”
KA-BOOOM!
“Too late,” Boimler groaned as a massive explosion suddenly rocked the building. “And we haven’t even found a bar yet. That’s got to be some kind of record!”
“Ahhh, what was that?” Tendi yelped.
“It wasn’t me!” Rutherford protested holding up his hands.
“Me neither,” Mariner defended. “For once…”
“Minister Davi!” A Donapri security guard rushed up to her. “The Federation science station is under attack! UCF forces have launched a surprise assault!”
“The who?” Ransom blinked, confused.
“The United Centralist Front,” Davi explained quickly. “A group of self-proclaimed revolutionaries opposed to the very principles of our government. Ugh, this is so embarrassing. Those infuriating rebels grow more and more brazen every day.”
“Rebels?” Rutherford blinked, surprised.
“Wait, does that mean there’s a planetary rebellion going on right now?” Tendi gasped in shock. “That wasn’t in the mission briefing.”
“Gee, looks like Starfleet’s first contact team somehow managed to neglect noticing that little detail,” Mariner drawled. “Bunch of slackers.”
“Look who’s talking,” Boimler gave her a look.
“The perimeter’s been breached! Rebels are pouring into the station!” The security guard continued. “We have to get everyone to safety now!”
“Equality and Justice forever!” A trio of armed, masked figures suddenly burst into view. “Down with the establishment! Freedom and liberty now!”
“Look out!” Davi yelled as the masked figures opened fire. The group of security guards accompanying Davi and her retinue quickly shot back.
“Aha! I knew there was something fishy about these preening government types,” Mariner noted as she and her friends took cover behind various consoles and cargo containers. “Guess this away mission isn’t so bad after all!”
“Are you crazy?!” Boimler yelped as weapons fire filled the air. “What am I saying?”
“What do we do, Commander?” Rutherford asked while worriedly clutching his tool kit.
“The only thing we can do,” Ransom declared huddling next to him. He tapped his combadge in determination. “Ransom to Cerritos. We seem to be caught in the middle of some kind of Donapri civil war.”
“Understood,” Captain Freeman replied. “Prepare for emergency beam out.”
“WHAT?!” Mariner yelled in disbelief. “Are you nuts? We can’t just leave like this!”
“That’s exactly what you’re going to do, Ensign!” Freeman ordered having overheard Mariner’s shouts. “The fight down there is an internal Donapri affair. It doesn’t involve us.”
“The heck it doesn’t!” Mariner snapped into Ransom’s combadge. “We’re literally being shot at by Donapri forces right now!”
“Not intentionally,” Tendi pointed out. “We just happen to be caught in the crossfire.”
“All the more reason to evacuate and return to the Cerritos,” Ransom said. “Before somebody gets hurt.”
“People are already getting hurt,” Mariner shouted over the din. “You heard those rebel guys. They’re fighting for freedom against a cruel, oppressive government. We have to help!”
“No, we don’t!” Ransom glared. “We are Starfleet. We don’t interfere in the course of a society’s natural development. The Prime Directive applies.”
“Well said, sir,” Boimler agreed.
“Shut it, Boims! Adults are talking now!” Mariner snapped. “Now look here, Jack…”
“That’s enough, Beckett!” Freeman roared over the channel. “We can discuss your own borderline rebellious behavior in private once you all return to the ship.” The sound of Freeman tapping her combadge was heard. “Freeman to Transporter Room One. Prepare to…”
“Forget that!” Mariner snapped tossing her tricorder at Boimler.
“What the?” A surprised Boimler yelped. He quickly ducked causing the tricorder to miss him and hit a nearby control panel instead.
“Commander, what is going on down there?” Freeman’s voice was heard. “Sensors show the science station’s shields just went up. We can’t beam you out.”
“Wow. That’s the one of the few systems we finished bringing online,” Rutherford commented. “What a coincidence.”
“Huh?” Ransom blinked in surprise. “How did the shields suddenly…Mariner!”
“Oops. Sorry, sir,” Mariner innocently held up her hands. “My tricorder simply slipped out of my hands and raised the station’s shields. It was an accident. Honest.”
“Honest, my well-toned gluteus maximus!” Ransom snapped. “Lower the station’s shields right now or…!”
“Freeze! Nobody move!” A pair of armed, masked Donapri barked leveling their weapons at them. Other masked Donapri watched over a sitting Minister Davi, her retinue and the group of stunned, fallen security guards. “You are now prisoners of the United Centralist Front!”
“Oh great. Not again,” Boimler groaned as the masked Donapri quickly seized the Starfleet officers’ weapons, tools and combadges. “I hate being taken prisoner.”
“Wait a minute,” Ransom said getting to his feet. “I’m Commander Jack Ransom of the Federation starship Cerritos. I formally request that…”
“Quiet, alien,” One of the masked Donapri cut him off. “You’ll have a chance to speak later.”
“This is outrageous!” Davi fumed glaring at her captors. “You rebels will never get away with this!”
“Oh, I think we will,” The leader of the Donapri rebels said looming over her. “Now that we have captured you, the government will be forced to listen to our demands.”
“Oh, dream on,” Davi sneered. “And I thought you rebels were delusional before.”
“Quiet, Minister!” The rebel leader warned. “That’s no way to talk to you mother.”
“Mother?!” All the Starfleet personnel blinked.
“Yes, Mother,” The rebel leader removed her mask revealing the face of a stern, hard-nosed woman of late middle age. “Kids these days. They have no respect for their elders.”
“Huh?” Mariner gawked as the other Donapri rebels unmasked, each of them clearly middle-aged with a noticeable tenacity of being slightly overweight. “Are you kidding me?”
“Wow,” Tendi stared. “I have to admit, this is unexpected.”
“I’ll say,” Rutherford blinked.
“Visitors from the Federation,” The unmasked rebel leader addressed them. “I am Citizen Pora, leader of the United Centralist Front. I’m here to expose the cruel and corrupt system of government that keeps unfit personages like Minister Davi here in power.”
“Oh, quit it with the dramatic bombast,” Pavi snapped. “You’re just jealous that you finally grew old, lost your looks and were voted out of office. Just like every other aged, delusional leader Donprai has ever had.”
“That’s exactly the kind of biased, discriminatory attitude that has infected all of Donapri society for thousands of years,” Pora glared. “Everyone is judged solely on their personal attractiveness, lifestyle and perceived level of popularity.”
“Because that’s what the public likes,” Davi defended. “People want their leaders to be young, beautiful and entertaining. Not washed-up old has-beens like you. It’s a fundamental fact of life.”
“Gotta admit she has a point,” Mariner commented. “Not that I agree with it…”
“It’s irresponsible, that’s what it is!” Pora snapped. “People should be judged on their personal abilities and capabilities, not their looks or what attracts the most societal admiration.”
“You’re only saying that because your looks waved bye-bye to your face and figure long ago,” Davi sneered. “You only became a rebel once your waistline grew out and developed along with your hips and wrinkles. Again, just like all our other previous leaders.”
“Huh?” Boimler frowned at the new information. “Wait, if you’ve had an appearance-based society for thousands of years…just how long has this rebellion been going on?”
“Oh, only a few centuries,” Pora waved.
“WHAT?!” All the Starfleet personnel yelped.
“I know, right?” Davi said misreading their reactions. “These darn adults are so insufferably annoying. Things are all fine and dandy when they’re young and their popularity numbers are high, but the minute they lose their looks, boom! They go and rebel against every known form of authority!”
“Because we finally grew up and realized just how stupid the basis for that form of authority is,” Pora glared at her. “The same thing will happen to the rest of you naïve kids someday.”
“Ha, that’ll never happen,” Davi declared preening. “I’m going to stay young and popular and beautiful for the rest of my life!”
“Good luck with that,” Mariner quipped.
“Now who’s delusional?” Pora sneered at Davi in contempt. “You kids still act like you’re a bunch of whiny, spoiled teenagers who ignore your elders and think all our opinions are useless!”
“We’re the ones who continue to grant you endless parental fidelity and generous social welfare assistance,” Davi shot back. “Along with taking care of all the hard work you’re no longer capable of doing. You should be grateful!”
“Just like you should be grateful for the powder room full of makeup you slather onto your face every day,” Pora taunted. “If people every saw your real pimple-covered hide, they’d vote you out of office in a heartbeat.”
“WHAT?!” Davi shrieked. “TAKE THAT BACK!”
“MAKE ME!” Pora yelled.
“Wow, this certainly is a strange not-quite-as-new world,” Tendi blinked as Minster Davi and Citizen Pora continued to scream at each other. “I’ve never seen such an unusual occurrence of parents rebelling against their kids. Or even read about it.”
“Okay, maybe making presumptions about the Donapri rebels wasn’t such a good idea after all,” Mariner grumbled.
“No, you think?” Boimler gave her a look.
“Though I can definitely see why Minister Davi wants to stamp out the rebellion,” Mariner commented watching Davi and Pora fight. “That old lady of hers sure is an annoying, overbearing control freak. She reminds me of my mom.”
“Really?” Rutherford glanced at her. “What’s your mom like?”
“Can we meet her?” Boimler asked hopefully. “I have a few questions I’d love to know the answers to…”
“No!” Mariner shouted quickly. “I mean, you don’t know my mom. None of you do. She travels a lot. Odds are you won’t be able to meet her in any way. Ever!”
“Aw, that’s too bad,” Tendi commented. “Your mom sounds kind of interesting. You must be really close to her.”
“Not really,” Mariner snorted. “We haven’t seen eye-to-eye on things for so long I doubt we ever will.”
“Well, you did initially side with the Donapri rebels,” Rutherford pointed out. “So in a weird way, you did manage to side with your mom.”
“What?!” Mariner yelped in shock. “Oh man, you’re right! What have I done? Bad Mariner! Bad Mariner!”
“Well, those are two words I certainly don’t hear you mutter every day,” Boimler noted at Mariner’s behavior. “Though Q knows I’ve repeated them a few hundred times too many…”
BOOM!
“Oh great,” Boimler groaned as another explosion was heard in the background. “Now what?”
“Surrender!” Another group of masked Donapri stormed into the area riding a collection anti-grav chairs, scooters and carts. “The liberators of oppressed Donapri everywhere are here!”
“Oh no,” Both Davi and Pora groaned at the sight. “Not these guys again!”
“That’s strange?” Rutherford frowned. “How did those guys manage to get into here in the first place? The station’s shields are still up.”
“They must’ve already been in a different area of the station,” Tendi reasoned.
“Ha! It’s over, Minster!” The leader of the masked newcomers cackled. “The days of your incompetent rule have finally come to an end!”
“Not to you they have,” Pora declared. “Unless you’ve finally chosen to cease your ridiculous behavior and return to operating under the authority of the United Centralized Front.”
“Ha! Not likely!” The masked newcomer sneered pointing at Davi. “You and your UCF lunatics are just as bad as her.”
“Huh?” Ransom blinked, confused. “Wait, aren’t you with the UCF?”
“Of course not!” The newcomer whipped off his mask to reveal a very elderly Donapri. “I, Commander Inze, may have fought as one of the UCF before, but will never do so again! We will no longer be subordinate to the UFC’s overbearing authority!”
“Huh?” Boimler stared, stunned. “You’re saying you are rebelling against the rebellion?”
“You bet your sweet bippy we are!” Commander Inze declared as the rest of the newcomers unmasked revealing a crowd of elderly Donapri faces. “It’s past time Donapri’s true leadership standards are set. Leadership based on one’s age, experience and the respect that rightfully comes with both!”
“Aw, shut up, you old fool!” Davi snapped. “There’s no way people will ever willingly choose to be led by a bunch of wrinkled old fogeys way past their physical, mental and intellectual prime.”
“Yeah!” Pora agreed. “The notion of having extremely elderly personages as leaders is even more outlandish than granting political and social authority to a bunch of clueless, pretty-faced kids. What kind of messed up, inefficient society would ever have a governmental system like that?”
“Boy, ladies,” Mariner whistled. “Are you ever in for a shock.”
“Be quiet, ya little whippersnapper!” Inze barked pounding the armrests of his anti-grav chair. “It was bad enough having to fight alongside an arrogant upstart like you, but having you replace me as leader of the glorious rebellion was the last straw!”
“It’s the fate of every parent to eventually be replaced by their kids,” Pora snapped. “Change is inevitable!”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been saying,” Davi pointed out. “So why don’t both of you old fogeys lay down your arms, get some serious makeovers and beg that the government shows you mercy.”
“WHAT?! NEVER!” Pora and Inze howled. “YOU CAN’T STOP THE REBELLION!”
“Wanna bet?” Davi shouted leaping up and ripping a weapon from a surprised UFC fighter’s hands. “GET THEM!”
“Yaaahhh!” The other members of Davi’s retinue cried and quickly seized more weapons before turning them on their former owners. “SURRENDER, YOU DARN DIRTY REBELS!”
“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!” Every member of the two opposing groups roared and began firing at the newly armed government members while also shooting at each other. “LONG LIVE THE REBELLION! LOVE LIVE THE REVOLUTION!”
“Oh boy. Here we go again,” Boimler moaned as the three-way fight quickly turned into a free-for-all. “So much for experiencing a calm and peaceful second contact.”
“Though on the bright side, we’re able to confirm that rebellion among a society’s different generations is yet another example of parallel planetary development,” Tendi pointed out.
“Guess some things really are universal,” Rutherford noted.
“Yeah, like death, entropy and sentient beings’ capacity for stupidity,” Mariner quipped. “Or in this case, insanity.”
“Said the transporter to the holodeck,” Boimler muttered.
“Will everyone please just calm down?” Ransom shouted cautiously rising up from cover. “The Federation will not interfere in whatever internal conflict your society is currently experiencing, but we would be more than willing to act as mediators to help settle any dispute…”
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Davi, Pora and Inze yelled shooting at Ransom.
“Ahhh!” Ransom yelped ducking back down.
“Way to be diplomatic there, Jack,” Mariner drawled. “Maybe you oughta listen to the locals and don’t get involved in the current situation.”
“A situation we wouldn’t be in if you had listened to me and obeyed orders from the beginning,” Ransom glared at her. “Starfleet officers don’t involve themselves in other civilizations’ natural internal developments. Avoiding getting into situations like this is exactly why the Prime Directive exists.”
“This is why I should work alone the next time I support a rebellion to help root out injustice,” Mariner muttered under her breath. “And why I keep a healthy stock of alcoholic beverages back onboard the ship.”
“This is why I’m an engineer and not a diplomat,” Rutherford gulped as the firefight continued to rage around them.
“This kind of real-world encounter with murky ethical moral dilemmas is why I joined Starfleet in the first place,” Tendi added.
“And this is why I keep submitting promotion applications to other ships,” Boimler groaned.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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