Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Tempus Loquitur
“So then what happened?” Tendi asked.
“Well, after staying up all night talking and watching the Vendu auroras, Barbara and I shared one last breakfast together before finally saying goodbye,” Boimler sighed dreamily while leaning against a rack of containers in Cargo Bay Two. “With lots of hugging and kissing of course.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Tendi cooed as she cataloged a pallet full of medical supplies.
“Yeah, real romantic,” Mariner drawled while casually inventorying the contents of the cargo bay. “Be careful not to read too much into your first shore leave fling, Boims. It’ll put a real damper on your enjoyment level when you have the next one. That is, if there ever is a next one…”
“It was not just a shore leave fling!” Boimler protested. “Barbara and I are a couple now! We exchange subspace messages every day! If we’re lucky we may even see each other in person in a few weeks.”
“Yeah right. I’ll believe it when I see it,” Mariner scoffed. “A bottle of Saurian brandy says you’ll forget all about new girlfriend Barb within a week. Two at most. Say, I could really make a killing from this.”
“What?” Boimler yelped. “Are you insane?”
“Don’t pester me with rhetorical questions now, Boims. There’s a fortune to be made here,” Mariner began making up a betting chart on her padd. “Okay, if payouts start at two-to-one and go up exponentially from there…and presuming there are enough interested entrants after spreading the word to Alpha, Beta and Delta shifts…”
“No! Stop it!” Boimler shouted and attempted to grab Mariner’s padd. “Quit betting on my love life!”
“Or lack of one, am I right?” Mariner quipped while easily fending him off. “Hey Tendi, which time slot would you like? A bottle of non-replicated spirits or a single duty shift gets you in.”
“Well…I…uh…” Tendi stuttered, fidgeting.
“Eh, I’ll just put you down for four weeks. Somebody’s gotta take the long shot,” Mariner tapped on her padd. “How about you, Rutherford?” She glanced at her cybernetically enhanced friend standing off to the side while seemingly staring off into space. “Yo! Earth to Rutherford! Come in, Rutherford. Hello?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Rutherford blinked distractedly. “I’m having some kind of weird problem with my implant. I updated it last night and now I’m start to see things that aren’t there.”
“Like Boimler’s supposed new girlfriend?” Mariner teased.
“Very funny,” Boimler glared.
“No, more like warbly, phantom images of things,” Rutherford shook his head. “It’s kinda hard to describe.”
“Well, don’t let ‘em distract you, Ruthy,” Mariner said. “Remember, you’re on lookout duty to make sure Shaxs or somebody doesn’t find out about this.”
“You mean us talking and gambling about Boimler’s personal life while working?” Tendi asked innocently.
“No, I mean this,” Mariner opened a large cargo container filled to the brim with contraband. “Ah, now that’s what I’m talking about. Come to mama!”
“Of course you’re smuggling more non-regulation booze and weapons aboard the ship,” Boimler groaned. “I knew you were too excited after learning we were assigned to cargo bay duty.”
“Hey, what are you people doing back here?” Commander Ransom appeared from around a stack of cargo containers. “Taking inventory is serious business. You don’t appreciate having something until it’s missing…what the? Is that contraband?”
“Uh oh,” Mariner winced. “Busted!”
“Aha! I knew you were doing stuff like this behind my back,” Ransom glared at her. “I’m going straight to the captain about this, ensign. Your butt’s gonna be thrown in the brig so fast…”
Suddenly a crouched, human-looking figure appeared in the middle of the Cerritos personnel. The figure had bright purple eyes, snow-white hair, wore a dark form-fitting uniform and appeared to be about the same age as the four young ensigns. “Oops!”
“Ahhh! What the heck?” Tendi yelped in surprise.
“Gahhh!” Boimler stumbled back and slapped his combadge. “Intruder alert! Security to Cargo Bay Two!”
“Uh oh!” The figure gulped and raised a small probe-shaped device.
“Watch out! Get back!” Ransom stepped between the figure and the four assembled ensigns. “Who are you? What are you doing aboard the…” Ransom froze in mid-sentence.
“Huh?” Rutherford blinked and waved a hand in front of Ransom’s immobilized face. “Sir, are you alright?”
“Forget him,” Mariner ordered taking a fighting stance. “Get the intruder!”
“No! Stay back!” The figure pointed the device at her. It made a slight fizzling sound. “Ah, no! Not again! I just recharged this!”
“Good thing this is fully charged,” Boimler whipped out a phaser. “Don’t move!”
“Huh?” Tendi stared at Boimler in surprise. “Do you always carry a phaser around?”
“Uh, yeah. Doesn’t everyone?” Boimler gave her a look. “Well, except the times when I really need it…”
“Yo, we can talk about Starfleet phaser-carrying policy another time. Right now, we have an intruder to deal with,” Mariner said before addressing the mysterious figure. “So, what’s your story? Who are you? What are you doing here? Come on, out with it!”
“Um, hi. The name’s Zo,” The figure rose and waved meekly. “Uh, sorry for suddenly appearing like this. You really shouldn’t have seen me. My chronometric interphaser must have malfunctioned.”
“Chronometric interphaser?” Rutherford repeated, intrigued. “I’ve never heard of that piece of technology before.”
“Well, that’s because from your perspective it hasn’t been invented yet,” Zo said without thinking. “Oops!”
“Invented yet?” Mariner did a take. “Wait, you’re a time traveler?”
“Seriously? Ooooh, this is so cool!” Tendi squealed excitedly. “I’ve never met a real time traveler before!”
“Really? How many fake time travelers have you met?” Mariner quipped.
“Hold on. This is definitely not cool,” Boimler protested. “An unknown individual just appeared aboard the ship and attacked Commander Ransom!”
“Oh, don’t worry. Your companion there hasn’t been harmed,” Zo explained. “He’s just been put in temporal status. He’ll be fine.”
“Rats,” Mariner cursed snapping her fingers. “Uh, I mean, thank goodness!”
“Well, okay. But that still doesn’t prove anything,” Boimler insisted. “How do we know you’re a real time traveler?”
“Uh, hello?” Mariner gave him a look and gestured at Zo. “Abruptly popping in out of nowhere, putting Ranny here in temporal stasis, using a high-tech sciency doohickey nobody’s ever heard of. Sounds like a real, bona fide time traveler to me!”
“You have a point,” Boimler admitted.
“Wow, this is amazing!” Tendi and Rutherford chirped gazing at Zo in awe. “So, what kind of time traveler are you? A secret, undercover temporal operative? A futuristic historian? Casual past-visiting tourist?”
“Actually, I’m just a low-grade temporal technician,” Zo explained sheepishly. “I quietly travel unseen to the past to repair minor temporal anomalies and fractures in the space-time continuum.”
“Oh, is that all?” Mariner drawled.
“So, you’re some kind of temporal engineer?” Rutherford asked.
“Well, I suppose,” Zo shrugged modestly.
“Ooooh, that’s so neat!” Tendi oohed.
“Not really,” Mariner waved. “Take out the ‘temporal’ part and it’s just another lower decks job filled with grunt work and fixing broken stuff.”
“That’s one way to look at it,” Boimler said putting away his phaser. “Wait a second,” He stared at Zo. “You’re here now. Does that mean there’s a temporal anomaly aboard the Cerritos?”
“Just a little one,” Zo assured taking out a tool. “A minor, potential Type-Three quantum fissure. It poses no real threat at the moment. It’s just emitting a little harmless, low-level temporal distortion.”
“Ah, that explains the weird problem with my implant,” Rutherford realized. “It’s detecting random bits of chronometric flux.”
“More like temporal echoes,” Zo explained pointing the tool at a seemingly empty spot in midair. “It’s best for temporal apertures like this to be nipped in the bud. Don’t want infinite alternate quantum realities to start breaking out, interacting and merging with each other.”
“Oh yeah, meeting alternate versions of yourself is the worst,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “The last thing I want is to have to go through all that craziness again.”
“I dunno. I think meeting alternate versions of myself would be pretty…huh?” Boimler did a double-take. “Wait, what do you mean again?”
“Wow, being a temporal technician sounds so cool!” Tendi twittered. “I’d love to hear all about future scientific advances and discoveries!”
“Yeah, like telling us the winning entry for next week’s Lissepian lottery,” Mariner suggested.
“Sorry, you know I can’t tell you about that kind of stuff,” Zo apologized. “Temporal Prime Directive and all that.”
“Awww,” Tendi and Rutherford pouted.
“Besides, Temporal Science and Mechanics isn’t all fun and games,” Zo warned. “It’s not only incredibly complex, it’s also highly dangerous.”
“Oh yeah, time travel can be such a mess,” Mariner agreed. “Not to mention annoying.”
“How do you know?” Boimler pressed anxiously. “Seriously, how?”
“Trust me, Boims. You’re better off not knowing,” Mariner waved. “Time travel is nothing but trouble.”
“Tell me about it,” Zo sighed. “Low-level people like me work hard to erect and maintain barriers throughout space-time to prevent reckless and irresponsible use of time travel.”
“There are barriers?” Rutherford blinked in surprise.
“Of course,” Zo turned to look at him. “Theoretically, anybody with a decent warp-capable ship and enough speed can travel through time by slingshotting around a star. Or harness sufficient amounts of highly polarized chroniton particles from a well-maintained cloaking device. Why do you think stuff like that doesn’t happen more often?”
“Besides the risk of ripping one’s ship apart, flying into a sun or blowing oneself up?” Mariner quipped.
“It’s because of temporal grids and defenses that prevent time travel attempts like that from becoming common,” Zo went on while working. “Granted, there is the occasional gap or two and some people tend to be luckier in their time travel attempts than others…”
“Cough! (Kirk!) Cough!” Mariner stage whispered.
“But for the most part, the barriers that have been built and established work,” Zo concluded. “And it’s a good thing too. Can you imagine the chaos that would erupt if just anyone with enough power and influence was allowed to manipulate time?”
“Perish the thought,” Boimler shuddered.
“And don’t get me started on the idiots who get the urge to alter the already established timeline,” Zo groused. “They muck around and mess things up until the new so-called ‘accepted’ timeline is completely and utterly ridiculous!”
“That sounds horrible,” Tendi sympathized. “I’d hate to exist in a universe like that.”
“Let’s hope we never do,” Rutherford said.
“And what really ticks me off is when those mindless dopes go and deliberately create alternate timelines by having some ugly, random ship suddenly travel to their relative past or future,” Zo continued. “Which means more space-time continuum repairs, more temporal contradictions, more paradoxes and more paperwork to explain and attempt to fix the messes they create. And when time travelers from other timelines get involved, boy do things really get confusing!”
“Preaching to the choir here,” Mariner nodded.
“Wow, that does sound pretty bad,” Rutherford commented. “I’d hate to be a desk-bound bureaucrat at some records-obsessed timeline vigilance agency.”
“Why can’t people leave well enough alone?” Zo sighed. “It’s bad enough dealing with the aftereffects and timeshifts from legitimate time travel accidents.”
“Really?” Tendi’s eyes widened. “Like what?”
“Oh, you know. Little inconsistencies and errors timeline natives never seem to notice,” Zo explained absently. “Like Starfleet’s ever changing warp scales or the entire Trill species suddenly having spots instead of bumpy foreheads…”
“Huh?” Boimler blinked. “Wait, you mean there was a time when Trills didn’t have spots?”
“Yep. And that’s not the only example,” Zo nodded. “Even well-known historical individuals’ appearances have changed without any timeline natives batting an eye. People like Saavik, Christopher Pike, Tora Ziyal, Zefram Cochrane. Heck, even Janeway was French-Canadian for a day or two.”
“Yeah right,” Mariner scoffed. “Like that could even happen.”
“Hey, I think my implant may have actually noticed some those timeshifts before,” A stunned Rutherford gasped in realization. “One time I saw Shaxs’ uniform collar had a commander’s number of pips instead of a lieutenant’s for a few seconds. And I saw similar things happen to a few other Starfleet personnel too…”
“See? He’s experienced it. Good spotting,” Zo commended. “Of course, little inconsistencies like those are trivial, have obscure focal origin points, are temporary or don’t have any real major temporal impact so we usually don’t bother repairing them.”
“So, wait. Just to be clear,” Tendi studied Zo carefully. “You’re saying that inconsistencies and errors in established timelines are all due to the aftereffects and unintentional consequences of time travel?”
“More or less,” Zo shrugged. “Of course, the laws of time travel itself are inconsistent and are always changing and evolving.”
“Ugh, all this talk about time travel is making my brain hurt,” Boimler groaned.
“Eh, it won’t be the first time,” Mariner quipped.
“But wait. How do we know this is the real timeline?” Tendi thought for a moment. “What if we’re living in an alternate timeline or universe and don’t even know it?”
“Yeah,” Rutherford said. “If there are an infinite possible number of timelines, how do we know which one is real?”
“Oh, they’re all real,” Zo explained. “We just use the unique quantum signature of matter to determine which timeline we are native to.”
“But isn’t that a paradox?” Tendi inquired. “If there is no one real timeline but instead an infinite number of real timelines, wouldn’t that mean…”
“Lemme stop you right there, T,” Mariner cut her off. “Quantum Theory and Temporal Mechanics make absolutely no sense. Just don’t think about ‘em. You’ll be much happier.”
“Okay, all done,” Zo announced doing a final scan. “Another potential temporal incident averted.”
“Alright!” Rutherford cheered. “Way to go, man! Good job!”
“Yeah, great,” Mariner waved. “Look, this has been fun and all, but can we wrap things up? I got important stuff to do.”
“Since when?” Boimler stared at her.
“I understand. It’s been nice chatting with you,” Zo said putting tools away. “Just remember the Temporal Prime Directive. Don’t mention your time travel experiences to anyone. It can cause all kinds of trouble. And if my superiors find out I interacted with you, I’ll be in a lot of trouble.”
“Don’t worry. We won’t tell anyone,” Tendi promised.
“Thanks,” Zo gave a relieved sigh.
“Hey, wait. What about him?” Rutherford pointed at Ransom’s still frozen form.
“Oh, right,” Zo took out the probe-shaped device and fiddled with it. “Oh good. There’s enough power left for one more use. I’ll set a brief delay to release your companion from temporal stasis and erase a few seconds of his perspective memory.”
“Wow, you can do that?” Tendi blinked, impressed.
“Of course,” Zo confirmed. “It’s standard emergency temporal procedure.”
“Really?” Mariner raised an eyebrow. “Say, can you erase just a bit more of his recent memories? Like the last thirty seconds of it or so?”
“I suppose,” Zo looked at her curiously. “Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” Mariner quipped while casually closing the lid of her cargo container full of contraband. “Just out of scientific curiosity.”
“Yeah right,” Boimler rolled his eyes.
“Ah, okay,” Zo adjusted the device and pointed it at Ransom. “There, all done. He’ll come out of stasis in about thirty seconds. He might be slight amnestic for a minute, but it’s a temporary side effect.”
“Understood,” Rutherford nodded. “Thanks for fixing everything.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Mariner gave Zo an unexpected hug. “You’ve been very helpful.”
“Uh, you’re welcome,” Zo blinked at the affectionate display.
“Bye! Have a nice trip!” Tendi waved as Zo seamlessly disappeared. “Wow, that was great!”
“I’ll say,” Boimler agreed. “A temporal fracture could have occurred aboard the ship and we wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.”
“Good thing we had a technician from the future come and repair it,” Rutherford smiled. “And we picked up a lot of informative time travel tidbits too!”
“That’s not all we picked up,” Mariner grinned holding up her hand.
“What the?” Boimler blinked at Zo’s temporal stasis device. “You stole a piece of technology from the future?!”
“I ‘acquired’ it,” Mariner smirked. “Like Voyager’s mobile holoemitter. Only this is far more useful.”
“Really? How?” Tendi asked.
“You’ll see,” Mariner grinned eyeing the futuristic device. “This baby is gonna come in very handy…”
“Ah, I should have known I left it here,” Zo suddenly reappeared next to her wearing a light-colored outfit and plucked the device from Mariner’s surprised hand. “I’ve spent a month looking for this.”
“Huh?” Mariner blinked as Zo quickly disappeared once again. “Aw. Fudge.”
“A month?” Boimler blinked. “But it’s only been a few seconds…”
“Time travel, man,” Rutherford reminded him.
“Oh. Right,” Boimler sighed.
“Ahhh!” Ransom gasped as he suddenly became animate. “Oh, what happened? Where am I? Who are you people?”
“Uh,” Boimler fumbled for an explanation. “Well, you see…”
“Freeze! Nobody move!” Lieutenant Shaxs burst around a stack of cargo containers leading a security team.
“Gee, now you guys show up,” Mariner drawled. “What kept you? Hasperat run?”
“There was some kind of interference with the comms. It took time to determine your location,” Shaxs growled eyeing her. “Where’s the intruder?”
“Oh that,” Tendi waved. “Don’t worry. It was nothing…”
“Uh, do I know you?” Ransom blinked at Shaxs.
“There’s the intruder!” Mariner pointed at Ransom. “It’s him!”
“WHAT?!” Everyone else yelped in surprise.
“What are you talking about?” Shaxs glared at Mariner. “That’s Commander Ransom.”
“No, he’s an intruder,” Mariner insisted. “He lacks the real Commander Ransom’s memories. He might be an alien transporter replica or part of a parasite conspiracy!”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” Ransom snapped. “At least I think it is…”
“Oh yeah?” Shaxs glared at Ransom suspiciously. “Then tell me something the real Ransom would know. Like what songs he performed at his recent birthday party.”
“Sure,” Ransom began before coming up blank. “Uh…”
“See? I told you!” Mariner crowed.
“Okay. That’s enough for me,” Shaxs grabbed Ransom’s arm. “You’re going to the brig until we figure out this intruder business.”
“WHAT?! NO!” Ransom yelled as the security team dragged him kicking and screaming out of the cargo bay. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I’M NOT AN INTRUDER! I’M COMMANDER…SOMETHING RANSOM! I KNOW MY FIRST NAME! JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE! IT’LL COME TO ME!”
“Have a nice time, Ranny!” Mariner waved as the cargo bay doors closed. “Ha, payback is sweet!”
“I can’t believe you did that!” Boimler looked at Mariner. “You lied!”
“No, I said Ransom ‘might’ be an intruder,” Mariner grinned making air quotes. “Just like I ‘might’ be a clone of the real Beckett Mariner, but it ain’t very likely!”
“Oooh, would you like to have a clone of yourself?” Tendi asked eagerly. “‘Cause I’ve been looking for a cool Sickbay side project to do in my spare time…”
“No thanks, T,” Mariner smiled thumping her chest. “There’s only one Beckett Mariner original.”
“Thank goodness,” Boimler muttered.
“Besides, tossing Ransom to Shaxs was necessary to get both of them outta the way while I take care of business,” Mariner grinned loading her cargo container full of contraband onto an antigrav unit. “That ‘intruder’ business should keep both of ‘em busy until I finish hiding all these goodies away around the ship.”
“I should have known,” Boimler groaned.
“Okey-dokey. Well, back to work,” Rutherford shrugged and returned to inventorying the cargo bay. “Glad I found out what was up with my implant. I should try tweaking it to see what other kinds of chronometric flux it can pick up.”
“Good idea. That way you’ll be able to detect the presence of any more time travelers in the present or future,” Tendi smiled turning back to her padd. “Do you think we’ll ever have our own time travel adventure someday?”
“Oh, I’m sure we will,” Mariner nodded sagely. “It’s only a matter of time.”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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Tempus Loquitur
“So then what happened?” Tendi asked.
“Well, after staying up all night talking and watching the Vendu auroras, Barbara and I shared one last breakfast together before finally saying goodbye,” Boimler sighed dreamily while leaning against a rack of containers in Cargo Bay Two. “With lots of hugging and kissing of course.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Tendi cooed as she cataloged a pallet full of medical supplies.
“Yeah, real romantic,” Mariner drawled while casually inventorying the contents of the cargo bay. “Be careful not to read too much into your first shore leave fling, Boims. It’ll put a real damper on your enjoyment level when you have the next one. That is, if there ever is a next one…”
“It was not just a shore leave fling!” Boimler protested. “Barbara and I are a couple now! We exchange subspace messages every day! If we’re lucky we may even see each other in person in a few weeks.”
“Yeah right. I’ll believe it when I see it,” Mariner scoffed. “A bottle of Saurian brandy says you’ll forget all about new girlfriend Barb within a week. Two at most. Say, I could really make a killing from this.”
“What?” Boimler yelped. “Are you insane?”
“Don’t pester me with rhetorical questions now, Boims. There’s a fortune to be made here,” Mariner began making up a betting chart on her padd. “Okay, if payouts start at two-to-one and go up exponentially from there…and presuming there are enough interested entrants after spreading the word to Alpha, Beta and Delta shifts…”
“No! Stop it!” Boimler shouted and attempted to grab Mariner’s padd. “Quit betting on my love life!”
“Or lack of one, am I right?” Mariner quipped while easily fending him off. “Hey Tendi, which time slot would you like? A bottle of non-replicated spirits or a single duty shift gets you in.”
“Well…I…uh…” Tendi stuttered, fidgeting.
“Eh, I’ll just put you down for four weeks. Somebody’s gotta take the long shot,” Mariner tapped on her padd. “How about you, Rutherford?” She glanced at her cybernetically enhanced friend standing off to the side while seemingly staring off into space. “Yo! Earth to Rutherford! Come in, Rutherford. Hello?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Rutherford blinked distractedly. “I’m having some kind of weird problem with my implant. I updated it last night and now I’m start to see things that aren’t there.”
“Like Boimler’s supposed new girlfriend?” Mariner teased.
“Very funny,” Boimler glared.
“No, more like warbly, phantom images of things,” Rutherford shook his head. “It’s kinda hard to describe.”
“Well, don’t let ‘em distract you, Ruthy,” Mariner said. “Remember, you’re on lookout duty to make sure Shaxs or somebody doesn’t find out about this.”
“You mean us talking and gambling about Boimler’s personal life while working?” Tendi asked innocently.
“No, I mean this,” Mariner opened a large cargo container filled to the brim with contraband. “Ah, now that’s what I’m talking about. Come to mama!”
“Of course you’re smuggling more non-regulation booze and weapons aboard the ship,” Boimler groaned. “I knew you were too excited after learning we were assigned to cargo bay duty.”
“Hey, what are you people doing back here?” Commander Ransom appeared from around a stack of cargo containers. “Taking inventory is serious business. You don’t appreciate having something until it’s missing…what the? Is that contraband?”
“Uh oh,” Mariner winced. “Busted!”
“Aha! I knew you were doing stuff like this behind my back,” Ransom glared at her. “I’m going straight to the captain about this, ensign. Your butt’s gonna be thrown in the brig so fast…”
Suddenly a crouched, human-looking figure appeared in the middle of the Cerritos personnel. The figure had bright purple eyes, snow-white hair, wore a dark form-fitting uniform and appeared to be about the same age as the four young ensigns. “Oops!”
“Ahhh! What the heck?” Tendi yelped in surprise.
“Gahhh!” Boimler stumbled back and slapped his combadge. “Intruder alert! Security to Cargo Bay Two!”
“Uh oh!” The figure gulped and raised a small probe-shaped device.
“Watch out! Get back!” Ransom stepped between the figure and the four assembled ensigns. “Who are you? What are you doing aboard the…” Ransom froze in mid-sentence.
“Huh?” Rutherford blinked and waved a hand in front of Ransom’s immobilized face. “Sir, are you alright?”
“Forget him,” Mariner ordered taking a fighting stance. “Get the intruder!”
“No! Stay back!” The figure pointed the device at her. It made a slight fizzling sound. “Ah, no! Not again! I just recharged this!”
“Good thing this is fully charged,” Boimler whipped out a phaser. “Don’t move!”
“Huh?” Tendi stared at Boimler in surprise. “Do you always carry a phaser around?”
“Uh, yeah. Doesn’t everyone?” Boimler gave her a look. “Well, except the times when I really need it…”
“Yo, we can talk about Starfleet phaser-carrying policy another time. Right now, we have an intruder to deal with,” Mariner said before addressing the mysterious figure. “So, what’s your story? Who are you? What are you doing here? Come on, out with it!”
“Um, hi. The name’s Zo,” The figure rose and waved meekly. “Uh, sorry for suddenly appearing like this. You really shouldn’t have seen me. My chronometric interphaser must have malfunctioned.”
“Chronometric interphaser?” Rutherford repeated, intrigued. “I’ve never heard of that piece of technology before.”
“Well, that’s because from your perspective it hasn’t been invented yet,” Zo said without thinking. “Oops!”
“Invented yet?” Mariner did a take. “Wait, you’re a time traveler?”
“Seriously? Ooooh, this is so cool!” Tendi squealed excitedly. “I’ve never met a real time traveler before!”
“Really? How many fake time travelers have you met?” Mariner quipped.
“Hold on. This is definitely not cool,” Boimler protested. “An unknown individual just appeared aboard the ship and attacked Commander Ransom!”
“Oh, don’t worry. Your companion there hasn’t been harmed,” Zo explained. “He’s just been put in temporal status. He’ll be fine.”
“Rats,” Mariner cursed snapping her fingers. “Uh, I mean, thank goodness!”
“Well, okay. But that still doesn’t prove anything,” Boimler insisted. “How do we know you’re a real time traveler?”
“Uh, hello?” Mariner gave him a look and gestured at Zo. “Abruptly popping in out of nowhere, putting Ranny here in temporal stasis, using a high-tech sciency doohickey nobody’s ever heard of. Sounds like a real, bona fide time traveler to me!”
“You have a point,” Boimler admitted.
“Wow, this is amazing!” Tendi and Rutherford chirped gazing at Zo in awe. “So, what kind of time traveler are you? A secret, undercover temporal operative? A futuristic historian? Casual past-visiting tourist?”
“Actually, I’m just a low-grade temporal technician,” Zo explained sheepishly. “I quietly travel unseen to the past to repair minor temporal anomalies and fractures in the space-time continuum.”
“Oh, is that all?” Mariner drawled.
“So, you’re some kind of temporal engineer?” Rutherford asked.
“Well, I suppose,” Zo shrugged modestly.
“Ooooh, that’s so neat!” Tendi oohed.
“Not really,” Mariner waved. “Take out the ‘temporal’ part and it’s just another lower decks job filled with grunt work and fixing broken stuff.”
“That’s one way to look at it,” Boimler said putting away his phaser. “Wait a second,” He stared at Zo. “You’re here now. Does that mean there’s a temporal anomaly aboard the Cerritos?”
“Just a little one,” Zo assured taking out a tool. “A minor, potential Type-Three quantum fissure. It poses no real threat at the moment. It’s just emitting a little harmless, low-level temporal distortion.”
“Ah, that explains the weird problem with my implant,” Rutherford realized. “It’s detecting random bits of chronometric flux.”
“More like temporal echoes,” Zo explained pointing the tool at a seemingly empty spot in midair. “It’s best for temporal apertures like this to be nipped in the bud. Don’t want infinite alternate quantum realities to start breaking out, interacting and merging with each other.”
“Oh yeah, meeting alternate versions of yourself is the worst,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “The last thing I want is to have to go through all that craziness again.”
“I dunno. I think meeting alternate versions of myself would be pretty…huh?” Boimler did a double-take. “Wait, what do you mean again?”
“Wow, being a temporal technician sounds so cool!” Tendi twittered. “I’d love to hear all about future scientific advances and discoveries!”
“Yeah, like telling us the winning entry for next week’s Lissepian lottery,” Mariner suggested.
“Sorry, you know I can’t tell you about that kind of stuff,” Zo apologized. “Temporal Prime Directive and all that.”
“Awww,” Tendi and Rutherford pouted.
“Besides, Temporal Science and Mechanics isn’t all fun and games,” Zo warned. “It’s not only incredibly complex, it’s also highly dangerous.”
“Oh yeah, time travel can be such a mess,” Mariner agreed. “Not to mention annoying.”
“How do you know?” Boimler pressed anxiously. “Seriously, how?”
“Trust me, Boims. You’re better off not knowing,” Mariner waved. “Time travel is nothing but trouble.”
“Tell me about it,” Zo sighed. “Low-level people like me work hard to erect and maintain barriers throughout space-time to prevent reckless and irresponsible use of time travel.”
“There are barriers?” Rutherford blinked in surprise.
“Of course,” Zo turned to look at him. “Theoretically, anybody with a decent warp-capable ship and enough speed can travel through time by slingshotting around a star. Or harness sufficient amounts of highly polarized chroniton particles from a well-maintained cloaking device. Why do you think stuff like that doesn’t happen more often?”
“Besides the risk of ripping one’s ship apart, flying into a sun or blowing oneself up?” Mariner quipped.
“It’s because of temporal grids and defenses that prevent time travel attempts like that from becoming common,” Zo went on while working. “Granted, there is the occasional gap or two and some people tend to be luckier in their time travel attempts than others…”
“Cough! (Kirk!) Cough!” Mariner stage whispered.
“But for the most part, the barriers that have been built and established work,” Zo concluded. “And it’s a good thing too. Can you imagine the chaos that would erupt if just anyone with enough power and influence was allowed to manipulate time?”
“Perish the thought,” Boimler shuddered.
“And don’t get me started on the idiots who get the urge to alter the already established timeline,” Zo groused. “They muck around and mess things up until the new so-called ‘accepted’ timeline is completely and utterly ridiculous!”
“That sounds horrible,” Tendi sympathized. “I’d hate to exist in a universe like that.”
“Let’s hope we never do,” Rutherford said.
“And what really ticks me off is when those mindless dopes go and deliberately create alternate timelines by having some ugly, random ship suddenly travel to their relative past or future,” Zo continued. “Which means more space-time continuum repairs, more temporal contradictions, more paradoxes and more paperwork to explain and attempt to fix the messes they create. And when time travelers from other timelines get involved, boy do things really get confusing!”
“Preaching to the choir here,” Mariner nodded.
“Wow, that does sound pretty bad,” Rutherford commented. “I’d hate to be a desk-bound bureaucrat at some records-obsessed timeline vigilance agency.”
“Why can’t people leave well enough alone?” Zo sighed. “It’s bad enough dealing with the aftereffects and timeshifts from legitimate time travel accidents.”
“Really?” Tendi’s eyes widened. “Like what?”
“Oh, you know. Little inconsistencies and errors timeline natives never seem to notice,” Zo explained absently. “Like Starfleet’s ever changing warp scales or the entire Trill species suddenly having spots instead of bumpy foreheads…”
“Huh?” Boimler blinked. “Wait, you mean there was a time when Trills didn’t have spots?”
“Yep. And that’s not the only example,” Zo nodded. “Even well-known historical individuals’ appearances have changed without any timeline natives batting an eye. People like Saavik, Christopher Pike, Tora Ziyal, Zefram Cochrane. Heck, even Janeway was French-Canadian for a day or two.”
“Yeah right,” Mariner scoffed. “Like that could even happen.”
“Hey, I think my implant may have actually noticed some those timeshifts before,” A stunned Rutherford gasped in realization. “One time I saw Shaxs’ uniform collar had a commander’s number of pips instead of a lieutenant’s for a few seconds. And I saw similar things happen to a few other Starfleet personnel too…”
“See? He’s experienced it. Good spotting,” Zo commended. “Of course, little inconsistencies like those are trivial, have obscure focal origin points, are temporary or don’t have any real major temporal impact so we usually don’t bother repairing them.”
“So, wait. Just to be clear,” Tendi studied Zo carefully. “You’re saying that inconsistencies and errors in established timelines are all due to the aftereffects and unintentional consequences of time travel?”
“More or less,” Zo shrugged. “Of course, the laws of time travel itself are inconsistent and are always changing and evolving.”
“Ugh, all this talk about time travel is making my brain hurt,” Boimler groaned.
“Eh, it won’t be the first time,” Mariner quipped.
“But wait. How do we know this is the real timeline?” Tendi thought for a moment. “What if we’re living in an alternate timeline or universe and don’t even know it?”
“Yeah,” Rutherford said. “If there are an infinite possible number of timelines, how do we know which one is real?”
“Oh, they’re all real,” Zo explained. “We just use the unique quantum signature of matter to determine which timeline we are native to.”
“But isn’t that a paradox?” Tendi inquired. “If there is no one real timeline but instead an infinite number of real timelines, wouldn’t that mean…”
“Lemme stop you right there, T,” Mariner cut her off. “Quantum Theory and Temporal Mechanics make absolutely no sense. Just don’t think about ‘em. You’ll be much happier.”
“Okay, all done,” Zo announced doing a final scan. “Another potential temporal incident averted.”
“Alright!” Rutherford cheered. “Way to go, man! Good job!”
“Yeah, great,” Mariner waved. “Look, this has been fun and all, but can we wrap things up? I got important stuff to do.”
“Since when?” Boimler stared at her.
“I understand. It’s been nice chatting with you,” Zo said putting tools away. “Just remember the Temporal Prime Directive. Don’t mention your time travel experiences to anyone. It can cause all kinds of trouble. And if my superiors find out I interacted with you, I’ll be in a lot of trouble.”
“Don’t worry. We won’t tell anyone,” Tendi promised.
“Thanks,” Zo gave a relieved sigh.
“Hey, wait. What about him?” Rutherford pointed at Ransom’s still frozen form.
“Oh, right,” Zo took out the probe-shaped device and fiddled with it. “Oh good. There’s enough power left for one more use. I’ll set a brief delay to release your companion from temporal stasis and erase a few seconds of his perspective memory.”
“Wow, you can do that?” Tendi blinked, impressed.
“Of course,” Zo confirmed. “It’s standard emergency temporal procedure.”
“Really?” Mariner raised an eyebrow. “Say, can you erase just a bit more of his recent memories? Like the last thirty seconds of it or so?”
“I suppose,” Zo looked at her curiously. “Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” Mariner quipped while casually closing the lid of her cargo container full of contraband. “Just out of scientific curiosity.”
“Yeah right,” Boimler rolled his eyes.
“Ah, okay,” Zo adjusted the device and pointed it at Ransom. “There, all done. He’ll come out of stasis in about thirty seconds. He might be slight amnestic for a minute, but it’s a temporary side effect.”
“Understood,” Rutherford nodded. “Thanks for fixing everything.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Mariner gave Zo an unexpected hug. “You’ve been very helpful.”
“Uh, you’re welcome,” Zo blinked at the affectionate display.
“Bye! Have a nice trip!” Tendi waved as Zo seamlessly disappeared. “Wow, that was great!”
“I’ll say,” Boimler agreed. “A temporal fracture could have occurred aboard the ship and we wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.”
“Good thing we had a technician from the future come and repair it,” Rutherford smiled. “And we picked up a lot of informative time travel tidbits too!”
“That’s not all we picked up,” Mariner grinned holding up her hand.
“What the?” Boimler blinked at Zo’s temporal stasis device. “You stole a piece of technology from the future?!”
“I ‘acquired’ it,” Mariner smirked. “Like Voyager’s mobile holoemitter. Only this is far more useful.”
“Really? How?” Tendi asked.
“You’ll see,” Mariner grinned eyeing the futuristic device. “This baby is gonna come in very handy…”
“Ah, I should have known I left it here,” Zo suddenly reappeared next to her wearing a light-colored outfit and plucked the device from Mariner’s surprised hand. “I’ve spent a month looking for this.”
“Huh?” Mariner blinked as Zo quickly disappeared once again. “Aw. Fudge.”
“A month?” Boimler blinked. “But it’s only been a few seconds…”
“Time travel, man,” Rutherford reminded him.
“Oh. Right,” Boimler sighed.
“Ahhh!” Ransom gasped as he suddenly became animate. “Oh, what happened? Where am I? Who are you people?”
“Uh,” Boimler fumbled for an explanation. “Well, you see…”
“Freeze! Nobody move!” Lieutenant Shaxs burst around a stack of cargo containers leading a security team.
“Gee, now you guys show up,” Mariner drawled. “What kept you? Hasperat run?”
“There was some kind of interference with the comms. It took time to determine your location,” Shaxs growled eyeing her. “Where’s the intruder?”
“Oh that,” Tendi waved. “Don’t worry. It was nothing…”
“Uh, do I know you?” Ransom blinked at Shaxs.
“There’s the intruder!” Mariner pointed at Ransom. “It’s him!”
“WHAT?!” Everyone else yelped in surprise.
“What are you talking about?” Shaxs glared at Mariner. “That’s Commander Ransom.”
“No, he’s an intruder,” Mariner insisted. “He lacks the real Commander Ransom’s memories. He might be an alien transporter replica or part of a parasite conspiracy!”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” Ransom snapped. “At least I think it is…”
“Oh yeah?” Shaxs glared at Ransom suspiciously. “Then tell me something the real Ransom would know. Like what songs he performed at his recent birthday party.”
“Sure,” Ransom began before coming up blank. “Uh…”
“See? I told you!” Mariner crowed.
“Okay. That’s enough for me,” Shaxs grabbed Ransom’s arm. “You’re going to the brig until we figure out this intruder business.”
“WHAT?! NO!” Ransom yelled as the security team dragged him kicking and screaming out of the cargo bay. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I’M NOT AN INTRUDER! I’M COMMANDER…SOMETHING RANSOM! I KNOW MY FIRST NAME! JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE! IT’LL COME TO ME!”
“Have a nice time, Ranny!” Mariner waved as the cargo bay doors closed. “Ha, payback is sweet!”
“I can’t believe you did that!” Boimler looked at Mariner. “You lied!”
“No, I said Ransom ‘might’ be an intruder,” Mariner grinned making air quotes. “Just like I ‘might’ be a clone of the real Beckett Mariner, but it ain’t very likely!”
“Oooh, would you like to have a clone of yourself?” Tendi asked eagerly. “‘Cause I’ve been looking for a cool Sickbay side project to do in my spare time…”
“No thanks, T,” Mariner smiled thumping her chest. “There’s only one Beckett Mariner original.”
“Thank goodness,” Boimler muttered.
“Besides, tossing Ransom to Shaxs was necessary to get both of them outta the way while I take care of business,” Mariner grinned loading her cargo container full of contraband onto an antigrav unit. “That ‘intruder’ business should keep both of ‘em busy until I finish hiding all these goodies away around the ship.”
“I should have known,” Boimler groaned.
“Okey-dokey. Well, back to work,” Rutherford shrugged and returned to inventorying the cargo bay. “Glad I found out what was up with my implant. I should try tweaking it to see what other kinds of chronometric flux it can pick up.”
“Good idea. That way you’ll be able to detect the presence of any more time travelers in the present or future,” Tendi smiled turning back to her padd. “Do you think we’ll ever have our own time travel adventure someday?”
“Oh, I’m sure we will,” Mariner nodded sagely. “It’s only a matter of time.”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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