Star Trek: American Pie

[Rush Limborg]

Call me Trek's Don McLean!

Okay, okay. I'm not that vain. But not too long ago, the idea came to me to write a kind of Trek-spoof of McLean's classic "American Pie", wherin I write of the history of the phenomenom, with the framing story of the "second dark time" when, just as I had became a full-fledged fan--I learned that Enterprise was to be cancelled.

I finished it a few days ago, and, with the encouragement of my good friend, the continuity-minded legend Deranged Nasat, I now submit it here, for the approval of my brothers and sisters of Fandom. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

(For those of you who don't remember the original song, here's a link, with lyrics. Much of my take's structure is based off of the original wording:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l6RlWes3QM )

Finally...be on the lookout for some subtle, or not-so-subtle puns. Namely...there's a reason I capitalize The New Guys and The Old Show.

Okay. Here goes:


A long, long time ago,
I can still remember
How The New Guys…used to make me smile…

And I knew if it got a chance,
That Jonathan’s old prequel dance
Would make the people happy…for a while….

But springtime news, it made me shiver—
It said the boys could not deliver.
Four years built the doorstep…
They couldn’t take…one more step?

I found that I just wouldn’t cry—
I was…wishing it was all a lie…
Did it feel this way inside—
That day…The Old Show died?

Oh, guys, guys on the Enterprise—
Never failing to be sailing, all over the skies.
Beaming down, with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking, “This could be the day that I die….”
Oh, “This could be the day that I—die.”

Do you believe in future love?
That tomorrow sees us up above—
If the Great Bird tells you so?

Do you believe in the Mighty Three?
That they all speak for you and me,
And—can you teach how IDIC all should go?

Well I know that you all cheered for Jim,
As they shot around and pounded him—
While two guys gave their dues…
Man, I dig those boys in blues!

It was a five-year road, tight on the buck—
But three years in, it all ran amuck,
I guess they just ran out of luck
The day…The Old Show died.

They started singing:

Guys, guys on the Enterprise—
Never failing to be sailing, all over the skies.
Beaming down, with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking, “This could be the day that I die….”
Oh, “This could be the day that I—die.”

So, for ten years, you were on your own,
A cartoon keeping you not alone,
But it wasn’t how it used to be….

Well, the Kahn man paid his devil’s dues,
And George and Gracie all sang the blues,
And a voice…of hope for you and me!

Oh, and while old Jim rode down the plains,
The wise man came to take the reins.
Well, Tasha fell to ground…
Oh, but this one’s sure and sound!

And while two more wrapped up all the ends,
The seven-year New Guys made amends,
But the wise man wept at different trends,
The day…that Jim boy died.

He was singing:

Guys, guys on the Enterprise—
Never failing to be sailing, all over the skies.
Beaming down, with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking, “This could be the day that I die….”
Oh, “This could be the day that I—die.”

Wormhole Junction, yet another function—
The Cards flew out, and Quark had a luncheon—
Across the stars, it brought us fast….

…with rebels fighting through the grass,
And warriors trying for a forward pass,
With the Founders all ensuring it would last…

Now, the eighth life gave her deep perfume—
With the Warrior’s matrimonial tune—
She wanted, then, a dance…
Oh, but they never got a chance!

Well—the princess cast a spell on me.
The boys rode on, to victory!
Do you recall, the fiery sea
The day…the father died?

They stated singing:

Guys, guys on the Enterprise—
Never failing to be sailing, all over the skies.
Beaming down, with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking, “This could be the day that I die….”
Oh, “This could be the day that I—die.”

Oh, and there they were all in one place,
A crew or two, all lost in space—
Having, there, to start again…

So come on: Kes be ready, grow up quick!
Kathryn held up a candlestick
Because…fire is the cyborg’s only friend….

Oh…and as The New Guys took the stage,
The wise man fought all filled with rage.
Then, Insurrection day…
When they’d take that youth away!

And—as the lost came back by fiery night,
The clone lit the sacrificial light.
I saw Shinzon laughing with delight,
The day…the good man died.

He was singing:

Guys, guys on the Enterprise—
Never failing to be sailing, all over the skies.
Beaming down, with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking, “This could be the day that I die….”
Oh, “This could be the day that I—die.”

Well, Jon and boys all sang the blues.
We asked B and B for happy news.
The powers sighed, and turned away….

I went down to the big blue store,
Where I found the ones from years before…
But the day came, when the music wouldn’t play….

And in that night, the Purists screamed…
The new kids cried, and the writers dreamed…
But not a hope was given….
Some harsh words all were driven….

Then, a man many admire most—
He went to go revive a ghost…
He said he’d turn all back, at most—
The day…The Old Show died.

And he was singing…

Guys…guys on the Enterprise…
Never failing to be sailing, all…over the skies.
Beaming down…with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking, “This could be the day that I die….”
Oh, “This could be the day that I…die.”

We’ll be singing:

Guys, guys on the Enterprise…
Never failing to be sailing, all over the skies.
Beaming down, with a red-shirted guy—
Who’s thinking—
“This could be the day that I die.”


Well, folks, that's done. Please comment. Thanks for reading.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Very good. I wish I had talent like this.

Well—the princess cast a spell on me.

 

[sbk1234]

That was awesome. I love American Pie. As a spoof, this was flawless. Look out, Wierd Al.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Very good. I wish I had talent like this.

Wow. Thank you very much, Admiral!

Well—the princess cast a spell on me.

...Yep. Originally, I'd written "the new girl"--but then I figured...

That was awesome. I love American Pie. As a spoof, this was flawless. Look out, Wierd Al.

Thank you--very much!


Now, folks...just like McLean's song, the framing story is based on my own experience. As I said in the song, I'd grown up on TNG ("The New Guys" ), and had become a full-fleged fan during ENT's run, also buying up the TOS ("The Old Show") DVDs, the reference books, the CCG, and the novels. So, as you can imagine, I was stunned when I found out that the prequel's fourth season would be its last--and that Trek was basically dead.

The "big blue store" is, of course, Wal-Mart and Sam's Club (both owned by the same corporation), where I bought up on TNG and DS9, as I waited for hope to return. I eventually had to order them online, as Star Trek started appearing on the shelves less and less....

 

[Cepstrum]

Very cool. It reminds me of Weird Al's "The Saga Begins" (I'm more familiar with that than the original song).

Though some of the references I didn't get . And my show, VOY, seemed to get just a few lines (though most would want it that way!)


I agree. That was a great demonstration of lyrical composition. It sure entertained me.

Now you need to have the accompanying music and sing it for us on YouTube! Better yet, get someone to help you make a music video for it with scenes of the shows appearing at relevant times. I know there must be several around here who can do that, for I've seen many YouTube videos of Trek scenes put to music. Go for it. Or have someone with the know-how (amateur musician and YouTube video maker) do it for you.

Can anyone here do that? I'd think it'd not be too hard: just grab the background music, add in new vocals, and create a video compilation of the appropriate scenes....

 

[Rush Limborg]

Very cool. It reminds me of Weird Al's "The Saga Begins" (I'm more familiar with that than the original song).

Well, I did provide a link to the original song--with lyrics, if you'd like to check it out.

Though some of the references I didn't get . And my show, VOY, seemed to get just a few lines (though most would want it that way!)

I know. But the limits of the song kinda demanded it. And...I admit, I haven't seen as much of VOY as I'd like...yet.

So...which ones didn't you get? I'd be glad to help with any questions.

I agree. That was a great demonstration of lyrical composition. It sure entertained me.

Thank you, very much!

Now you need to have the accompanying music and sing it for us on YouTube! Better yet, get someone to help you make a music video for it with scenes of the shows appearing at relevant times. I know there must be several around here who can do that, for I've seen many YouTube videos of Trek scenes put to music. Go for it. Or have someone with the know-how (amateur musician and YouTube video maker) do it for you.

Can anyone here do that? I'd think it'd not be too hard: just grab the background music, add in new vocals, and create a video compilation of the appropriate scenes....

Woah, woah woah! (nervous chuckle) One thing at a time!

Okay...maybe, when I get the software, and so on, I'll give it a shot--but I'm kinda all-thumbs with any musical instruments other than an electronic keyboard--and even then, I can only play so much.

(Still...I do have a singing voice: a baritone bass, I'm told. I'm working on a "falsetto"--some bugs I need to work out....)

Look...maybe, when I get my name out more (via novels and the like), and I'll do shows at the conventions...maybe I'll link up with some kind of Trek band, or something--but like I said, one thing at a time....

 

[KimMH]

Fabulous! Great to have you back Rush! You've obviously made good use of your time away!

 

[Captrek]

Very, very clever. I hope somebody records and makes a video for it.

Here’s a MIDI version of the song, so you can listen and follow Limborg’s lyrics without being distracted by McLean’s or Yankovic’s.

http://wilstar.com/midi/americanpie.htm

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thank you both--very much!

 

[sbk1234]

Even though you based it on your own personal experiences, like the original song, I find that listeners can find their own personal experience in it. Have I told you I liked it?

 

[Rush Limborg]

Yes...but thanks again. I hoped, indeed, that that's what would happen--that others would share in the meaning behind it.

Also...notice how the singer is addressing those "first generation" Trekkers who were fans since the beginning. (The use of "you" in the second and third verses...) I think those of you who've been around since that long...I don't think us youngsters can ever repay your staying faithful for so long, through thick and thin.

 

[Captrek]

I don't think us youngsters can ever repay your staying faithful for so long, through thick and thin.

You can’t, but don’t let that stop you from trying. I’ll take cash, money orders, or PayPal.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Aw, geez....

Uh...please consider us...forever in your debt.

 

[Cepstrum]

I think the only references I didn't get had to do with TOS (which I've not seen, but for a few episodes) and Enterprise (which I was only able to watch the first two seasons of reruns before my cable expired).


Still, I'll reiterate: I'm always impressed when people — especially amateurs — write poems or song lyrics. Many in my family and extended family can do it, but not I. I can only play music, not write poetry or prose.

So I'm really amazed. But I still insist it gets out on YouTube soon!

 

[Rush Limborg]

^All in good time....

 

[Kirby]

Great song, I'd love to hear that to music!

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thank you!