Sons of Mogh did indeed have an awful ending and awful writing because of it.
No way Bashir would agree to remove Kurn's memories without his consent. That would be completely unethical and vastly OOC for Bashir.
I agree. I'm reminded of the episode where Barial (sp?) was dying, and Bashir refused to keep replacing parts of his brain, and lets him die instead. He said something to the effect of, 'even if I do the operation, he may look like Barial, even talk like Barial, but it won't be him'. Seems to be in direct contradiction to what he did with Kurn.