Something I've never seen in a Trek Fan Production

[Knight Templar]

I've been looking into various episodes, screen shots, FX sequences made by fans and there is something I always figured I would find but never have.

A shot of an Excelsior class starship firing its phasers with the same effects seen from the Enterprise in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

To me, given that the phaser effects in that movie were so very cool, with the jagged "lightning bolt/pulse phaser stream" effects and given that the Excelsior has identical phaser mounts on its primary hull saucer that it would be only reasonable to see someone take a shot at making the sequence.

 

[FalTorPan]

I don't recall ever seeing a sentient chocolate chip cookie in a Trek fan film either.

"Ensign Chip Bakedgood reporting for duty!"

 

[Knight Templar]

I don't recall ever seeing a sentient chocolate chip cookie in a Trek fan film either.

"Ensign Chip Bakedgood reporting for duty!"

That doesn't remotely make sense.

 

[Venardhi]

I, for one, would love to see a crew entirely composed of sentient baked goods. Why this hasn't happened yet is completely outside my comprehension.

 

[chardman]

I too would appreciate a crew of sentient baked goods, but would prefer it even more if some of them were involved in non-traditional relationships. I'd very much like to see a couple of openly gay Croissant couples. Maybe even a bagel-doughnut pairing of some kind.

 

[Venardhi]

Disgusting! I would set the internet afire with boycotts for such unnatural confectionery miscegenation. Next you'll be wanting to show cookies and pie together, or a baguette in a relationship with unrisen dough! Have some decorum you sinful monster.

 

[Maurice]

...To me, given that the phaser effects in that movie were so very cool, with the jagged "lightning bolt/pulse phaser stream" effects and given that the Excelsior has identical phaser mounts on its primary hull saucer that it would be only reasonable to see someone take a shot at making the sequence.

Not sure what you mean by jagged and "lightning bolt". The beams were simply fired alternately from one phaser "nipple" then the other.

 

[Captain Atkin]

I, for one, would love to see a crew entirely composed of sentient baked goods. Why this hasn't happened yet is completely outside my comprehension.

There was an unfilmed script from the 2nd season of TNG, that had Troi falling in love with an alien made of pure chocolate from Hershey's Planet. I believe Phase II is reworking that script for a future episode.

 

[Maurice]

I, for one, would love to see a crew entirely composed of sentient baked goods. Why this hasn't happened yet is completely outside my comprehension.

There was an unfilmed script from the 2nd season of TNG, that had Troi falling in love with an alien made of pure chocolate from Hershey's Planet. I believe Phase II is reworking that script for a future episode.

I believe that episode was titled, "Consumption".

 

[GSchnitzer]

I, for one, would love to see a crew entirely composed of sentient baked goods. Why this hasn't happened yet is completely outside my comprehension.

There was an unfilmed script from the 2nd season of TNG, that had Troi falling in love with an alien made of pure chocolate from Hershey's Planet. I believe Phase II is reworking that script for a future episode.

We're working on it. We found the original *good* version of the script--not the unfunny one after it had been rewritten by the producer. We're now working with the original writer to update the script into a TOS script instead of a TNG script. We also need to update it for a 21st century audience: we need to update it to a humanoid made out of healthy carob instead of chocolate. And these humanoids were rather large in the original script; we've had to make these carob humanoids much smaller--so that we can show this web episode in New York City.

 

[Venardhi]

The ending is so sad. I remember weeping over the copy I got at worldcon years ago. I hope you can do it justice.

 

[Tom Hendricks]

With the sun going supernova, the poor cookie being burnt off one calorie at a time.

 

[Venardhi]

Spoilers! C'mon man. Watch it.

 

[Barbreader]

Nothing wrong with chocolate, as long as it's not "dutched." Really, you should stay closer to the original script. As far as Mayor Bloomberg is concerned, don't worry about him. He just wants to downsize everything so he'll look tall. Just offer him a chance to play the part of a cookie in the shoot, and make it after he leaves office.

You might consider substituting a Vermont Chocolatier for Hersey's though. Or maybe the Lindt Planet. Not that I have an issue with orphans(Hersey's was owned by a charity for orphans after it's founder, an orphan himself, died), but your European fans think Hersey's tastes like cheese. It's a balance. Nestles might improve the overseas appeal.

 

[GSchnitzer]

Well, as folks might have predicted, we received a Cease and Desist order from CBS--again--and they've requested that we not produce our version of "Consumption."

This is a disappointment; we were looking forward to creating elaborate CGI carob-based lifeforms. Speculation is that JJ Abrams intends to produce the story himself. So we'll have to come up with something else.

At this point, we're looking at doing something original--not based on some old TNG or TOS script. We've been looking at a script called "Captain Kirk, Vampire Hunter." It's kind of a different twist on the Kirk character; we find out things about his pre-Starfleet days that we didn't know.

Look for more details soon.

 

[Venardhi]

I read that a few years ago when it was doing the rounds with Pike as the main character who was sent back in time by the Talosians with a little shape-shifting robot to stave off the Vampire threat to the origins of the Federation. Pretty solid story but that robot sidekick was painful in every scene he showed up in. I've heard the latest draft is more Zombie-centric than it was back then though. Could have done without the werewolf scene too. Reeked of too many chefs, but after a few years in development hell I suppose it is expected.

 

[Potemkin_Prod]

Perhaps if Wil Wheaton hadn't been cast as the robot...

 

[Venardhi]

You're thinking of the Sulu-centric asiansploitation flick "Sulu, Solo" from the 80s. They figured Wheaton was going to be the breakout star of TNG and perhaps over-invested in that robotic panda character.

 

[Knight Templar]

I see this is what is called "trolling" and "thread hijacking".

What is the reason for this or are you all just being jerks?

 

[Potemkin_Prod]

Frankly, I think it was a healthy release of steam. If you'll notice, everyone was venting about various situations out of their control. Schnitzer's answer, in particular, was hilarious.

To answer your question, we used the "gattling phasers" in our episode, "The Void," located here on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svIS9SL8MPM. You'll see that in the third act, our Constitution-class does fire its phasers in the manner you're describing.

As to why no one hasn't done it with an Excelsior-class ship, I'm not sure that no one hasn't. Unless you've seen every Trek fan film (and I would bet you hadn't seen "The Void"), then you don't know that someone hasn't.