I've read some of the threads in here about people with Apserger's and I thought this was an interesting article. I am glad that there is help out there for people to learn social cues.
http://www.star-telegram.com/462/story/1550397.html
Social School for Asperger's
- Thread starter MetalPants
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I've read some of the threads in here about people with Apserger's and I thought this was an interesting article. I am glad that there is help out there for people to learn social cues.
http://www.star-telegram.com/462/story/1550397.html
Thank you very much for posting this!
Our son has Asperger's Syndrome. He is pretty high functioning, but completely oblivious to social cues and relationship rules. He'll keep talking about whatever he's interested in even when everyone has walked away.
It makes me sad to think how much he's going to struggle with this stuff. He's such a great kid. We have him in Tae Kwon Do, which has helped with his confidence and balance a little bit, but he's so awkward socially, it's almost painful.
It's great to hear about resources like this. This is exactly what he'll need down the line.
Our son has Asperger's Syndrome. He is pretty high functioning, but completely oblivious to social cues and relationship rules. He'll keep talking about whatever he's interested in even when everyone has walked away.
It makes me sad to think how much he's going to struggle with this stuff. He's such a great kid. We have him in Tae Kwon Do, which has helped with his confidence and balance a little bit, but he's so awkward socially, it's almost painful.
It's great to hear about resources like this. This is exactly what he'll need down the line.
john titor
Captain
While learning some social conventions can be justified people shouldn't be forced to become neurally typical. Meh I guess its cool.
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That was a fantastic article! It's great that the program involves parents as well as teens. Often, this is the kind of thing that can really give a parent hope and make them the best advocate for their children.
wish this was available when I was a kid. I notice they place a big emphasis in using the phone a lot & calling peers on the phone... that's something I never liked doing & still dont.
I don't think anybody's talking about fundamentally changing the person--just helping with coping skills that will mean more independence.
It's skills training. Simple as that. Nothing nefarious about it.
I sent my wife the article, and she agreed this would be perfect for our son. He's apparently too young though.
john titor
Captain
Independence is great for anyone, I wasn't saying it was bad or anything, just musing on extroversion/introversion.
What galls me about this is the all too prevalent consensus that social disorders always need to be fixed.
As a person with one, I feel utterly dehumanized and humiliated when someone suggests getting help 'learning' to act like other people do, to blend in, to be 'normal'.
No, I don't like chit chat. No, I don't like eye contact. No, I don't like people in my personal bubble. None of that makes me a mean, horrible failure who needs to be fixed.
I don't want to go to the equivalent of obedience school and learn to act like something I'm not, either. I want to be given the understanding and time to approach people and social situations in my own way.
You have to wonder what happens to those who 'fail' these sorts of programs.
I imagine they get a little depressed on top of withdrawn. THEN they become a danger to themselves and others.
Oh, for the day it will be acceptable not to be a social butterfly.
As a person with one, I feel utterly dehumanized and humiliated when someone suggests getting help 'learning' to act like other people do, to blend in, to be 'normal'.
No, I don't like chit chat. No, I don't like eye contact. No, I don't like people in my personal bubble. None of that makes me a mean, horrible failure who needs to be fixed.
I don't want to go to the equivalent of obedience school and learn to act like something I'm not, either. I want to be given the understanding and time to approach people and social situations in my own way.
You have to wonder what happens to those who 'fail' these sorts of programs.
I imagine they get a little depressed on top of withdrawn. THEN they become a danger to themselves and others.Oh, for the day it will be acceptable not to be a social butterfly.
I didn't read the article like that at all. I thought it was an opportunity for these youngsters to learn social skills, so that should they want to venture out of their "personal bubble" they will feel more at ease at it. I thought the instructors at this school are trying to help people develop the confidence that they might otherwise be lacking to go out and make friends and meet new people.
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
God bless your family and your son. From the way you talk about him and your interest in helping him grow, I'm sure he'll do just fine.
I agree that this class seems to be a help in getting kids to interact. I know my cousin could use such a class. He's a sweet kid and very socially awkward.
There are schools like that in other parts of the country as well. In fact, my cousin works at one in the NYC area and teaches kids with Asperger's to develop their social skills.
KiraDax...again, no need to be a social butterfly. It's good to have coping skills in your back pocket for when you want them, or when they become necessary, but believe me, that doesn't mean being a social butterfly.
I mean, lots of people without diagnosed social disorders are natural introverts, such as myself, and do come under pressure from the extraverted majority. What might be helpful, perhaps, is if introverts who do not have a particular diagnosis were also part of these classes...I mean, according to various non-scientific studies I've seen about 1/4 of the population is comprised of introverts. In my case I developed the skills to work in customer service (I couldn't get another job straight out of school with no work experience) and so I have what you could call my "retail face", but when I come home, I need to be quiet and not be with a lot of people. (You can imagine how bad moving sucks--lots of people in my business for three freaking weeks.)
The way I see it, someone could take these skills and apply them to what MUST be handled, and what they WANT to do, but no reason to be Mr./Ms. Perky all the time. "Civil" is enough, in my book.
That said, though, I don't see my "retail face" as a betrayal of my self. It's something that I need and use for my job, that pays the bills. And it's nice to have those tools in my arsenal for when they're necessary in other situations, but I don't have to use them 100% of the time.
(I mean, do NOT talk to me at Starbucks when I'm trying to write. Yes, I want to people-watch, and yes, I might indulge you to be polite, but I do NOT truly want to talk, and there may come a point where I will try to politely cut you off.)
I mean, lots of people without diagnosed social disorders are natural introverts, such as myself, and do come under pressure from the extraverted majority. What might be helpful, perhaps, is if introverts who do not have a particular diagnosis were also part of these classes...I mean, according to various non-scientific studies I've seen about 1/4 of the population is comprised of introverts. In my case I developed the skills to work in customer service (I couldn't get another job straight out of school with no work experience) and so I have what you could call my "retail face", but when I come home, I need to be quiet and not be with a lot of people. (You can imagine how bad moving sucks--lots of people in my business for three freaking weeks.)
The way I see it, someone could take these skills and apply them to what MUST be handled, and what they WANT to do, but no reason to be Mr./Ms. Perky all the time. "Civil" is enough, in my book.
That said, though, I don't see my "retail face" as a betrayal of my self. It's something that I need and use for my job, that pays the bills. And it's nice to have those tools in my arsenal for when they're necessary in other situations, but I don't have to use them 100% of the time.
(I mean, do NOT talk to me at Starbucks when I'm trying to write. Yes, I want to people-watch, and yes, I might indulge you to be polite, but I do NOT truly want to talk, and there may come a point where I will try to politely cut you off.)
yeah I would love to not have to be forced to be so social(when i have to chit chat I feel sooo fake!) but Ive learned that if you want to get a job its neccessary. Which is why I have not been able to work. If I had had something like this when i was a child it might have made things easier for me later on in life. Im going to have an interview at vocational rehab next week, hopefully there is something they can do to help me, but I have a feeling it will be better for me to find something I could do at home.
That's very nice of you to say. Thanks.
Very good point.
We're not talking about some slow, miserable march to forced socialization camp. Our son is not shy, he's not introverted (in the traditional sense). He is unskilled.
He desperately wants to make friends. He doesn't understand why the other kids don't want to play with him. He doesn't understand why he doesn't get invited to go swimming or to birthday parties. It hurts and confuses him. He just doesn't get it.
I'll be damned if I'm going to let him suffer that for the sake of some politically correct notion of "tolerating differences". He doesn't want to be like that. If my wife and I can help him, we will. He's been through assessments and occupational therapy. He's in martial arts now. And we'll continue to do whatever is our power to help him.
And if he wants us to stop, then we will.