Social anxiety disorder?

[vampgrrl]

I've known for quite some time that I have an issue with anxiety although its not consistent and doesn't *usually* effect school or work (lately).
However it is I think making me quite a bit depressed...and its sending me to bed early most nights recently as a way of escaping feeling so down.

I *know* logically there is nothing wrong with me...however I'm already down because I can't find a job, and I don't have any good friends around (although I have acquaintances who seem to be ok with me..but no real friends).
I'm terribly lonely...and the real problem is anxiety. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest and I feel very negative.
My birthday being last Tuesday and no one to celebrate with...didn't help.

I don't have insurance to get actual help...but any tips from people on dealing with this would be helpful.

 

[thestrangequark]

I *know* logically there is nothing wrong with me...

It sounds as though something is wrong, logically. Remember, sometimes anxiety and depression are a real illness, not just a bum mood. If your anxiety and depression are starting to negatively impact your work, school, and social life like you said, then it may well be time for you to get it checked on by a professional.
I know this can be tough without insurance, as I suffer from a mental illness and I don't have any insurance either. I did a little research until I found a psychiatric clinic that charged on a pay-scale, and I have to pay only $27 a month, which is completely affordable. It is very likely that there is such a clinic in your area.

Good luck.

 

[Kestra]

I don't know what to tell you ... I have social anxiety but it was at manageable levels. Then some things changed in my life and I started to have panic attacks. The only thing that really changed that was medication, though it's been a few years now so I think I can eventually get off the meds once therapy has helped enough.

I know we're just an online community but let us be friends to you, as much as possible. We could even celebrate your birthday here, although I realize it's a bit belated.

Happy Belated Birthday, vampgrrl! May the next year be full of happiness for you.

 

[vampgrrl]

Well I'm not crazy (har har) but things have been quite negative for me lately. I'm so terribly lonely and I'm quite shy.
I wanted to go visit some old friends last weekend in Atlanta but someone begged me to stay here for Mardi Gras and I did (I didn't go out at all, and cried for part of the weekend for hours).
I don't want anyone to think I'm fishing for pity...I'm not. I just want this feeling to stop (I've always had it but its been especially bad lately).
I've got a midterm on Wednesday...and I can barely bring myself to care...and that's worrisome as I have a 3.9 GPA and I'm in my last semester at school as well.

 

[thestrangequark]

^You don't sound at all like you're fishing for pity, so don't worry! You do sound like you're terribly depressed though. Your school might have some kind of free or low cost support, I'd really encourage you to check it out!

 

[Kestra]

It definitely sounds like depression and anxiety, and something you should follow tsq's advice on. Things got really difficult for me my senior year of college because my medical condition kept worsening. The anxiety just seemed like "stress" at first, but it escalated to the point where it was seriously affecting my life in ways I didn't realize.

 

[T'Baio]

Happy Birthday, vampgrrl[/i]!

thestrangequark is correct. If your mental status is starting to have a negative effect on your life outside of the occasional blues, you should seek professional counselling. I understand without insurance in the States that can be difficult. Do you have a GP? Go to them and ask for any recommendations as far as pay scale counselling clinics. Check the web site of your municipal and/or federal governments, and see what they have to offer in terms of medical help.

There is sometimes a trend for people to think that physical ailments are sickness that isn't your fault while psychological illness is something that is, and is possibly something you can just wait out. If you feel really down, and you'll know when your blues are more than just being sad today, your body will tell you, you should see a doctor for advice. That's what they're for. And it's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

Good luck. We're all rooting for you, and consider you a friend. Cheers!

 

[Trekker4747]

I'm sure I've a mild form of social anxiety disorder as I hate being in public situations and around large groups of people. And I have a really, really tough time meeting new people.

 

[melancholymecha]

happy belated birthday from another social anxiety sufferer! although I have other issues as well(Aspergers Syndrome) i was diagnosd with SA long before that. Try to find help as soon as you can, if you can find a place that lets you pay on a sliding scale(look for low income clinics, mental health centers in your paper or online, also support groups which can sometimes be free) unfortunatley I had severe SA & its been pretty much a cronic condition(though therapy & meds have helped somewhat) but I cant work. The thing is that it affects people differently & not everything works the same for everyone...so you need a professional opinion first & from there you can decide what course you want to take(CBT therapy, medication, self help etc.) Good luck!

btw, I feel like Trekbbs is the closest to friends I have too even though i almost always lurk & dont like to PM or use that "Friending" application thing & Im sure most posters here have no idea who the heck I am.

 

[vampgrrl]

Well I think last semester I had more of a rhythm in my life (even though I definitely still had the anxiety). I was going to class 4 days a week (now I just have 2 evening classes twice a week), interning 3 days a week and working a job on campus two days a week (and living on copious amounts of student loans).
I worked for a political campaign in January into this month as a paid worker (we won) and that was good. Socially I'm still a bit inept but in so far as when I'm working on any politics/government I'm in "the zone". (Not to say I dont have other problems...but I love it when I get to work...and I had a lot of successes in that field and academically during the fall and some of the winter...and I enjoyed every single one of them)

Outside of that I feel bad. Having this on again off again "friend" here in town isn't helping. Without going into too much, she bitches at me for the entertainment I enjoy (scifi for one), my accent, my rushed speaking (which I think is anxiety related?) and generally not being like her. But she keeps coming back into my life...and I let her in because I'm lonely but its self destructive I know. Its bad enough to be crippled by anxiety...and being yelled at for being crippled by the anxiety is more than I can take sometimes (that's how I get into these ultra negative patterns).
I'm worried over money, lonely for friends...and I don't date...never had a significant other. All anxiety related I'm sure.
Oh and I'm in my mid 30s, which makes it that worse. :P I don't think I'd feel as bad about this if I were 24

And oh thx for replying. I know its just a BBS but I sit here feeling down, and no place to let it out.

 

[melancholymecha]

Im in my mid 30's too.
Your "friend" sounds toxic. She sounds like those so called "friends" i forced myself to hang out with in middle & high school just so i could feel I "belonged" in a group, but in fact it did more damage b/c they were very mean to me & used me as a punching bag to make themselves feel better. I hated it but felt I had to put up with it b/c the alternative- being seen as a loner- was worse. But now that I look back I think that was a mistake. Now Id rather not have friends & just enjoy doing the things I like, living at my own pace & not worry about pleasing others. The only annoying thing is when family members & their friends ask why I dont have friends or a boyfriend, or why I am not married yet? etc... gah!

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Hi Vampgrrl. I am sorry to hear that you have been so down lately. I can definitely relate. I have had social anxiety since my teenage years and it has effected me in varying degrees for the last 25 years. I know what it is like to be very lonely.

Since you felt depressed enough to post I would gather you may be feeling even worse than you let on and I agree with everyone that you should at least talk to someone and be evaluated. Anti-depressants are often prescribed for social anxiety as well as depression so taking one may kill two birds with one stone.

Are you in college? Most colleges have a health center and many have mental health facilities with psychologists and a visiting psychiatrist on staff. I would start there. Also look up your county's mental health department. Most mental health services are run through the county and can be very cheap like tsq said. I don't have insurance right now and I only paid $100 for a full years treatment at my county clinic.

If you are feeling up to it you might also want to try reading some social anxiety self-help books. Most of them are written from a Cognitive-Behavioral therapy standpoint which is the most effective form of therapy for social anxiety. I can give you some titles of good books if you want.

I think it is very important to get on top of this while you are young. Social Anxiety and depression are very treatable these days if you are willing to work at it. Good luck, stay in touch, and Happy Birthday!

 

[Snaploud]

http://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-Anxiety-Panic-Treatments/dp/0195311353

 

[vampgrrl]

Well she called me last night because I had said something earlier in the week about wanting to go to the outlet stores, stating that she hates going shopping with me because I just follow her around like a puppy and how annoying that is...and I said fine so don't go. She just demanded to want to know why I did that...and the more she demanded the more I didn't want to talk to her, and I froze up which in turn pissed her off even more.
Or if I go to the gym, she'll call and demand to know where I am...oh at the gym *groan* "You are always at the gym, on a sunny day, jesus christ" its just constant picking which keeps my anxiety levels up and doesn't allow me to feel relaxed ever.

Oh I know I'm just complaining at this point...I just know I don't want to be this person. I'd rather be an outgoing person or at least just someone who is reasonably relaxed around other people instead of putting up a wall around myself (and freezing up).

And I didn't pay the health fee at school because it wasn't required for part time students (and its really expensive...damn stupid private college :P). I tried to find a doctor who could write me a prescrip last semester with no luck. I'm definitely poorer now than I was then (I have about $3,000 to my name with no income and no promise of any income yet) I would be interested in books however.

 

[john titor]

I've known for quite some time that I have an issue with anxiety although its not consistent and doesn't *usually* effect school or work (lately).
However it is I think making me quite a bit depressed...and its sending me to bed early most nights recently as a way of escaping feeling so down.

I *know* logically there is nothing wrong with me...however I'm already down because I can't find a job, and I don't have any good friends around (although I have acquaintances who seem to be ok with me..but no real friends).
I'm terribly lonely...and the real problem is anxiety. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest and I feel very negative.
My birthday being last Tuesday and no one to celebrate with...didn't help.

I don't have insurance to get actual help...but any tips from people on dealing with this would be helpful.

There are worse things than social anxiety, even though you may not feel that way. I've found that the way around it is not to act like you don't give a damn what people think, simply think that if this person has an objection to you that objection is illogical/petty, hence you don't care.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Well she called me last night because I had said something earlier in the week about wanting to go to the outlet stores, stating that she hates going shopping with me because I just follow her around like a puppy and how annoying that is...and I said fine so don't go. She just demanded to want to know why I did that...and the more she demanded the more I didn't want to talk to her, and I froze up which in turn pissed her off even more.
Or if I go to the gym, she'll call and demand to know where I am...oh at the gym *groan* "You are always at the gym, on a sunny day, jesus christ" its just constant picking which keeps my anxiety levels up and doesn't allow me to feel relaxed ever.

Oh I know I'm just complaining at this point...I just know I don't want to be this person. I'd rather be an outgoing person or at least just someone who is reasonably relaxed around other people instead of putting up a wall around myself (and freezing up).

And I didn't pay the health fee at school because it wasn't required for part time students (and its really expensive...damn stupid private college :P). I tried to find a doctor who could write me a prescrip last semester with no luck. I'm definitely poorer now than I was then (I have about $3,000 to my name with no income and no promise of any income yet) I would be interested in books however.

Yeah your friend is probably a jek, but don't feel bad about it. I know what it is like to hang around people who aren't the best thing for you just because your lonely. In the past I had friendships with two girls because I was lonely, and just maybe they weren't the best friends to have. One was a heroin addict and one was a crack addict and they used to steal from me!

Below are some of the best books on dealing with social anxiety and they are well known in the field.

http://www.amazon.com/Dying-Embarra...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266720426&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step/dp/1572245530/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Sh...=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266720522&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Painfully-Shy-Overcome-Anxiety-Reclaim/dp/0312316232/ref=pd_sim_b_4

 

[vampgrrl]

What's odd to me is the social anxiety aspect is related to socializing or worrying that people think I'm ugly or no one likes me.

Again for school or work...no problem. It has less to do with me (in my mind) and more to do with the task at hand I guess. I made several speeches in public speaking class off the cuff (made an A), or making a presentation in class is no big deal, and I was briefly interviewed on TV last fall. No problem. I don't get that...or should I say I don't understand why I can do THAT.

 

[scotpens]

I'm sure I've a mild form of social anxiety disorder as I hate being in public situations and around large groups of people. And I have a really, really tough time meeting new people.

I also hate being in public situations and around large groups of people. Generally, I prefer being alone. That's not necessarily a pathology or a disorder. It can just be a normal part of someone's personality. If your difficulty in social situations is making you unhappy or affecting your ability to function in your daily life, then, by all means, seek out counseling, therapy, or whatever you think will help.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

No one was meant to be happy all the time.

Those that are....arghh!...I hate them.

 

[vampgrrl]

How about 30% of the time?


I'm going to "fix" this, somehow.