Return of the Jedi: Suppose they really suffered 1000 years?

[Argus Skyhawk]

In Return of the Jedi Jabba says (as 3PO interprets) something along the lines of, "In the belly of the Sarlacc you will experience a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years."

As a kid, I always thought the idea of writhing in agony for a whole millennium was too creepy even for the bad guys that fell in. I could enjoy seeing the bad guy's spaceships getting blown up, because you knew their suffering was over pretty quickly, but that thousand years of pain was a different story. However, I got over it by telling myself that Boba Fett and Jabba's minions probably just suffered for a few days until they starved to death. Then they spent the following centuries getting digested posthumously. What do you think? Does the expanded universe elaborate on the subject?

 

[Set Harth]

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Susejo

 

[Gepard]

So the usual EU nonsense, then.

I always took the line as Jabba passing along rumors and superstition to scare the crap out of our heroes. There's no law that every single thing the characters say has to be 100% correct.

 

[Hound of UIster]

Perhaps you read the "nonsense" first.

If I remember this actually was one of the several good Boba Fett stories. That is before he got retconned into a kiddie clone.

 

[Set Harth]

I always took the line as Jabba passing along rumors and superstition to scare the crap out of our heroes.

Because our heroes don't come equipped with nonsense detectors?

 

[Professor Zoom]

I always took the line as Jabba passing along rumors and superstition to scare the crap out of our heroes.

Because our heroes don't come equipped with nonsense detectors?

Luke didn't... I mean, come on, Obi Wan told him all sorts of crap and he believed it.

 

[Set Harth]

Han is more cynical/experienced than ANH Luke, and the idea that Vader killed a Jedi hardly qualifies as obvious nonsense. Vader is clearly able to kill, and you only know Obi-Wan's story to be a lie due to a retcon made by later films. In 1977 nothing about "Vader killed your father" was implausible.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Wow I never thought of that. I kinda like little Boba in The Clone Wars. I hope he just died instantly.

DAMN YOU LUKE!!!!

 

[Professor Zoom]

Han is more cynical/experienced than ANH Luke, and the idea that Vader killed a Jedi hardly qualifies as obvious nonsense. Vader is clearly able to kill, and you only know Obi-Wan's story to be a lie due to a retcon made by later films. In 1977 nothing about "Vader killed your father" was implausible.

You know... it was just a joke... I thought it was pretty obvious. You didn't really need to take my snarky comment seriously. It's just Star Wars.

 

[Set Harth]

I hope he just died instantly.

In the EU he didn't die.

 

[Gepard]

Han is more cynical/experienced than ANH Luke, and the idea that Vader killed a Jedi hardly qualifies as obvious nonsense. Vader is clearly able to kill, and you only know Obi-Wan's story to be a lie due to a retcon made by later films. In 1977 nothing about "Vader killed your father" was implausible.

You know... it was just a joke... I thought it was pretty obvious. You didn't really need to take my snarky comment seriously. It's just Star Wars.

Set Harth? Taking Star Wars way too seriously? Never!

 

[Professor Zoom]

Han is more cynical/experienced than ANH Luke, and the idea that Vader killed a Jedi hardly qualifies as obvious nonsense. Vader is clearly able to kill, and you only know Obi-Wan's story to be a lie due to a retcon made by later films. In 1977 nothing about "Vader killed your father" was implausible.

You know... it was just a joke... I thought it was pretty obvious. You didn't really need to take my snarky comment seriously. It's just Star Wars.

Set Harth? Taking Star Wars way too seriously? Never!

I'm shocked too.

 

[Colonel Midnight]

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Susejo

Oh, dear Gods... That's past the point of being craptacular...

Cheers,
-CM-

 

[Locutus of Bored]

So the usual EU nonsense, then.

I always took the line as Jabba passing along rumors and superstition to scare the crap out of our heroes. There's no law that every single thing the characters say has to be 100% correct.

So are you trying to tell me that Han Solo doesn't have an advanced cybernetic "laser brain" that conceals where he gets his delusions from, as per the EU?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Laser_brain

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer.
Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they've activated the energy shield.
Han Solo: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
[Chewbacca laughs]
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

 

[Professor Zoom]

So the usual EU nonsense, then.

I always took the line as Jabba passing along rumors and superstition to scare the crap out of our heroes. There's no law that every single thing the characters say has to be 100% correct.

So are you trying to tell me that Han Solo doesn't have an advanced cybernetic "laser brain" that conceals where he gets his delusions from, as per the EU?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Laser_brain

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer.
Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they've activated the energy shield.
Han Solo: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
[Chewbacca laughs]
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

He MUST have a laser brain. They said it in the movie. And that IS A Canon afterall. So. Yes. Solo has a Laser Brain.

 

[Gepard]

So the usual EU nonsense, then.

I always took the line as Jabba passing along rumors and superstition to scare the crap out of our heroes. There's no law that every single thing the characters say has to be 100% correct.

So are you trying to tell me that Han Solo doesn't have an advanced cybernetic "laser brain" that conceals where he gets his delusions from, as per the EU?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Laser_brain

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer.
Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they've activated the energy shield.
Han Solo: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
[Chewbacca laughs]
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

You know the worst part? Before clicking the link, I believed you. That's not at all outside the realm of possibility for the EU. In fact, delete your post now, lest you give them ideas.

 

[Sephiroth]

Tattooine was hot as hell, maybe a tattoine year is like a standard week

 

[Locutus of Bored]

In fact, delete your post now, lest you give them ideas.

They never listen to my ideas. When I was a kid, I loved Star Wars, the Easter Bunny, the color green, and my red Underoos more than anything. So I sent Marvel a letter asking them to include a giant green anthropomorphic Easter Bunny in red pajamas as a smuggler fighting alongside Han and Chewie, complete with bad Looney Toons references and rabbit puns - because I was only five years old at the time and didn't know how ridiculous that would be. They never responded to me.

Hey, wait a minute.

Son of a bitch!

 

[Gepard]

Hey, wait a minute.

 

[Set Harth]

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Susejo

Oh, dear Gods... That's past the point of being craptacular...

You ain't seen nothing yet! Try spelling the character's name backwards.