Realistic portrayal of a physically abused woman's romance

[Joe Washington]

I'm planning a TV show which features a romance between a guy who has a lousy corporate job and a woman who's fighting to move on from a physically abusive relationship a couple of years ago. She has the exterior of a strong, confident woman but beneath it there are some lingering emotional wounds. I want the development of the show's core relationship from the couple's first meeting to their marriage to be as realistic as possible without being cliche or melodramatic. Do you guys have any ideas how I can do that? And I'm thinking it may be necessary for the lovebirds to break up mid-way through the show before getting back together stronger than before. What are your thoughts about it? How long should I have the breakup last?

These thoughts can come from either personal experience or a normal opinion.

 

[JonathonWally]

I'm planning a TV show which features a romance between a guy who has a lousy corporate job and a woman who's fighting to move on from a physically abusive relationship a couple of years ago. She has the exterior of a strong, confident woman but beneath it there are some lingering emotional wounds. I want the development of the show's core relationship from the couple's first meeting to their marriage to be as realistic as possible without being cliche or melodramatic. Do you guys have any ideas how I can do that? And I'm thinking it may be necessary for the lovebirds to break up mid-way through the show before getting back together stronger than before. What are your thoughts about it? How long should I have the breakup last?

These thoughts can come from either personal experience or a normal opinion.

Um, your whole premise is the very definition of "cliche and melodramatic".

 

[Joe Washington]

Well, I'm giving away few not-so-specific details of the story without giving away the major elements of its premise because I'm afraid of someone out there stealing my idea.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Dexter's romance with Rita is the first that springs to mind.

 

[Trippy]

Dexter's romance with Rita is the first that springs to mind.

I thought the exact same thing!

 

[Kestra]

An abusive relationship changes who you are. You're scared of saying the wrong things and angering the other person, you're convinced that everything you say and do is wrong in some way, and you lose what little self-confidence you may have had. It's not just in relation to your abuser, it seeps into everything that you do. You doubt yourself and your self-worth, you feel that you'll never do anything right and that you deserve the unhappiness that you're feeling. You become increasingly isolated from everyone you were once close to, because you feel you have to defend your abuser and hide the abuse. You might try to end it but keep going back because you're convinced that it's not really so bad, or that you'll never find anyone else or anything better.

Such things are more than just slight emotional wounds. They can break down even the most confident of people and make them terrified of the world around them. The person often hates himself/herself as well. It takes a long time to move past that and often the victim will began repeating certain behavior when he/she begins another romantic relationship, simply because they don't know how to act another way anymore. They can be easily taken advantage of and even if their new lover is not abusive, they may act drastically out of an irrational fear of losing this person.

The character you're suggesting sounds like someone who has many unresolved issues and is either extremely vulnerable and unwell, or else fairly unrealistic. Such a person would need to work quite a bit at overcoming her issues and it's not something that would happen in the span of a short, temporary break-up.

 

[Aurian]

An abusive relationship changes who you are. You're scared of saying the wrong things and angering the other person, you're convinced that everything you say and do is wrong in some way, and you lose what little self-confidence you may have had. It's not just in relation to your abuser, it seeps into everything that you do. You doubt yourself and your self-worth, you feel that you'll never do anything right and that you deserve the unhappiness that you're feeling. You become increasingly isolated from everyone you were once close to, because you feel you have to defend your abuser and hide the abuse. You might try to end it but keep going back because you're convinced that it's not really so bad, or that you'll never find anyone else or anything better.

Such things are more than just slight emotional wounds. They can break down even the most confident of people and make them terrified of the world around them. The person often hates himself/herself as well. It takes a long time to move past that and often the victim will began repeating certain behavior when he/she begins another romantic relationship, simply because they don't know how to act another way anymore. They can be easily taken advantage of and even if their new lover is not abusive, they may act drastically out of an irrational fear of losing this person.

The character you're suggesting sounds like someone who has many unresolved issues and is either extremely vulnerable and unwell, or else fairly unrealistic. Such a person would need to work quite a bit at overcoming her issues and it's not something that would happen in the span of a short, temporary break-up.

Absolutly spot on.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

An abusive relationship changes who you are. You're scared of saying the wrong things and angering the other person, you're convinced that everything you say and do is wrong in some way, and you lose what little self-confidence you may have had. It's not just in relation to your abuser, it seeps into everything that you do. You doubt yourself and your self-worth, you feel that you'll never do anything right and that you deserve the unhappiness that you're feeling. You become increasingly isolated from everyone you were once close to, because you feel you have to defend your abuser and hide the abuse. You might try to end it but keep going back because you're convinced that it's not really so bad, or that you'll never find anyone else or anything better.

Such things are more than just slight emotional wounds. They can break down even the most confident of people and make them terrified of the world around them. The person often hates himself/herself as well. It takes a long time to move past that and often the victim will began repeating certain behavior when he/she begins another romantic relationship, simply because they don't know how to act another way anymore. They can be easily taken advantage of and even if their new lover is not abusive, they may act drastically out of an irrational fear of losing this person.

The character you're suggesting sounds like someone who has many unresolved issues and is either extremely vulnerable and unwell, or else fairly unrealistic. Such a person would need to work quite a bit at overcoming her issues and it's not something that would happen in the span of a short, temporary break-up.

Absolutly spot on.

Yes, how wonderfully put, Kestra .

 

[Kestra]

Absolutly spot on.

Yes, how wonderfully put, Kestra .

Thanks guys. I know the experience is different for everyone, but I tried to give some insight.

 

[MNM]

Well, I'm giving away few not-so-specific details of the story without giving away the major elements of its premise because I'm afraid of someone out there stealing my idea.

If you want to so a story that isnt cliche ridden, why dont you switch the genders?

 

[Joe Washington]

A realistically portrayed physically abused woman's romance part 2

How long should the show be to realistically cover the woman's emotional struggle to come to terms with her issues and its resolution on top of the progression of her relationship with her soul-mate from the moment they met to their wedding? You can either use personal experience or your regular opinion as the basis of your comments.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Re: A realistically portrayed physically abused woman's romance part 2

^^^ From now on, please ask these questions in your original thread. Don't create a new thread for every new question you have.

 

[Joe Washington]

Sorry about that. I just thought people would miss the next question after already reading through the original one. But still, does anyone have any thoughts on my latest question? Any positive feedback you could make come up with would be considered a big help to you.

 

[SiorX]

How long is a piece of string?

There isn't an easy answer to your question. The topic you're taking on is deeply complex, and if you really want to do it justice, it will require more understanding than a rudimentary timeline.

Something which you could try - Google to find information from advocacy and support groups. Read the FAQs, the articles, and the 'common myths' such sites offer. Look at all the advice they're also offering - there will often be practical, legal, and financial ripples compounding the psychological ones.

You could also scout the blogosphere to find blog communities for people dealing with domestic violence and its aftermath. There are awareness-raising and support communities active on the web. However, if you do go that way - and I think it is a good way to better understand any issue - remember that such blogs are designed as safe spaces. They are spaces set aside for other people. Read, listen, and keep quiet. Reading other people's experiences can be the best education there is, but those aren't the places to ask questions.

There's lots of information available out there. Unfortunately, there's no royal road to learning about it.