Radio WYRD(non Trek)

[Starkers]

Hi, just a short non Trek story I've written, thought I'd post it here as it's still sci-fi at least...pretty much. Probably a little stranger than my usual style but the muse took me so I wrote it as is...

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Ok listeners, you’re tuned in to Radio WYRD, broadcasting out of Manchester, well what’s left of it! I’m Jock Johnson and you’ve just been listening to Madonna’s latest single. Not sure about retro jazz myself, but who am I to question a woman celebrating forty years in the charts?

Here’s a quick rundown of the news headlines: For the third day running meteorites have pummelled the city of Lahore in Pakistan, another three hundred are feared dead. Meanwhile the great fire of Chicago enters its fifteenth week, with officials still claiming that the recent surge in additional firemen- sorry ladies, firepersons- has begun to stem the destruction.

Didn’t they say that last week too?

In other news Adolf Hitler is still on death row in Florida, having had his third appeal turned down. His execution is scheduled to be shown live on the Grid on Tuesday, and promises to have the largest audience in world history. Don’t worry though; I’ll be right here playing tunes to watch Hitler fry to.

In celebrity news Myra Hindly’s new novel has jumped straight to the top of the charts, whilst actress Evelyn Scott has become the latest superstar come out in protest against the low wages paid to virtuactors such as John Wayne, who’s apparently having to make thirty vids a week just to make ends meet.

Expect Evelyn to be replaced by Ingrid Bergman in her next film! When will these guys learn eh?

Now the weather, and good news for all you treasure hunters out there, the tidal information is in and the London flood waters are due to drop five metres. Time to get those dinghies out folks, there’s still plenty of loot to be had.

Now then, before I play some more tunes there’s just time to read out some of your messages. If you remember earlier this morning I talked to St. John Moore, chief executive of Global Oil, on his company’s decision to hire Saddam Hussein as their new Alaskan Operations Manager. Well this bit of news has had you guys squirting like never before.

Mike from Glasgow thinks it’s a great idea: “Who knows oil better than Saddam?”

Anna from Lyon thinks it’s disgraceful: “Saddam was a murdering tyrant and this job offer is an insult to the millions he butchered.”

Meanwhile Davinder from Karachi echoes St. John’s reasoning: “Saddam did bad things, but he was executed for his crimes and, like the UN says, you can’t be tried twice for the same offences. The guy paid for his crimes; doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?”

Well I’m not sure about that Davinder, but I’m just a humble radio DJ, the only legalities I keep up to date with are the ones telling me what I can and can’t smoke this week!

And I don’t know philosophy much either. Rachel from Portsmouth sent us a squirt asking a bigger question: “Jock, I can’t believe all we can think to argue about is whether Saddam should get a job, or Hitler should get a pardon. Nobody seems to even question anymore why all these horrible people keep appearing out of thin air. Weren’t they supposed to burn in hell for their crimes?”

You’ve got me, Rachael, but as for hell, have you looked outside lately?

Keep those squirts coming people, remember everyone is entitled to your opinion!

This is Radio WYRD, sponsored by U-235 Cola; twice the sugar, three times the caffeine, five times the taste. I’m Jock Johnson and this is Britney Spears…

 

[DavidFalkayn]

Good stuff! It reminds me a bit of the work of writers such as Philip Jose Farmer and Robert Silverberg--not bad company to be in.

 

[Starkers]

Thanks.

Like I say, not my usual kind of thing but I woke up one morning with the idea rattling around in my head and thought I'd write it.

 

[Mistral]

Thanks.

Like I say, not my usual kind of thing but I woke up one morning with the idea rattling around in my head and thought I'd write it.

Those often make the best stories. If you were to clarify just a tiny bit why Saddam and Hitler are alive post-death(hint at it just a bit) it would be cool-that wsas the only sticking point. Otherwise, I'd say go send this to Analog and cross your fingers. I really enjoyed it.

 

[TheLoneRedshirt]

Good stuff! I halfway expected Rod Serling to walk around the corner, cigarette in hand, explaining how I'd entered the Twilight Zone. It would have made an interesting episode!

 

[RevdKathy]

Excellent stuff!

 

[BrotherBenny]

To echo the above, that was really quite something.

I'd say that's more creative than 90% of the sci-fi fare on the bookshelves, airwaves and small screen (oh yeah, and the silver screen too).

What can I say, I'm jaded.

 

[Starkers]

Thanks.

Like I say, not my usual kind of thing but I woke up one morning with the idea rattling around in my head and thought I'd write it.

Those often make the best stories. If you were to clarify just a tiny bit why Saddam and Hitler are alive post-death(hint at it just a bit) it would be cool-that wsas the only sticking point. Otherwise, I'd say go send this to Analog and cross your fingers. I really enjoyed it.

This is why writing is such a tricky thing, because I actually thought I was being too obvious about it, doh!

Basically the inferance is that they've turned up in the future because the future is hell...

 

[Starkers]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the kind comments. I appareicted them greatly.

 

[Mistral]

Thanks.

Like I say, not my usual kind of thing but I woke up one morning with the idea rattling around in my head and thought I'd write it.

Those often make the best stories. If you were to clarify just a tiny bit why Saddam and Hitler are alive post-death(hint at it just a bit) it would be cool-that wsas the only sticking point. Otherwise, I'd say go send this to Analog and cross your fingers. I really enjoyed it.

This is why writing is such a tricky thing, because I actually thought I was being too obvious about it, doh!

Basically the inferance is that they've turned up in the future because the future is hell...

And here I thought it was some psycho situation where dead are made to live again-which would solve the high-cost-of-labor problems. My bad-I'll re-read it.