Problem Saying No and Being Assertive

[Gryffindorian]

I believe this is a personal issue I need to work on.
I work in the finance department of a utility agency, specifically in accounting. There is currently a hiring freeze at work; so when an employee leaves or retires, he/she doesn't necessarily get replaced. The work keeps piling up, and others are handed the unfortunate task of taking on more work. Although I don't mind taking on more responsibilities as I did in the past, I can't help feeling like I'm being used or taken advantage of sometimes.

To elaborate, my boss "David" and I met the other day, and he basically wanted to "volunteer" me to work in another organization (risk management). One of their employees retired in January, and now the unit is short-handed and needs extra coverage. The arrangement is that I would be split 50/50 between accounting and risk in the next six months, and I already met with the risk manager "Carol" to discuss work responsibilities, possible work schedule, etc. A future start date is yet to be determined.

To be honest, I don't like the fact that this assignment was just arbitrarily given to me, and I, of course, feeling timid about saying no, accepted, though tentatively, and said I would be willing to help in any way I could. I don't recall anyone saying to me, "How would you feel about working part-time in another unit?" Personally, I would much rather stay where I am 100% of the time, enjoying the work interactions I have with people in my group. Upon meeting with Carol in risk, I also learned that the work would involve a lot of critical, time-sensitive issues, putting out fires, and dealing with angry callers from the public. This revelation further contributed to my anguish, considering I'm not a "people person" and have very little background (and patience) in customer service.

I really wish I had the ability to say no to people. In this case, it appears I have very little choice in the matter. On one hand, I'd like to be able to help others and would feel bad if I let them down. On the other hand, I have personal concerns, too, in terms of my comfort level. What if, for any reason, this arrangement doesn't work out? Worst case (and best case) scenario is that I would still be working in accounting full-time, doing the work I like and being with people I enjoy.

Any thoughts or similar experiences you've had?

 

[trampledamage]

I've been in situations like this before where I've felt put on the spot and have agreed to something that given time and space I would have said no. I think you need to talk to your manager and just say that after speaking to Carol you really feel like risk management isn't an area you feel you want to move into and you would prefer to continue to work full-time in accounting.

The conversation will most likely go one of two ways.

David will agree, say okay we'll get someone else, that he thought you'd like it and you were the first one he thought of - at which point you say thank you and you'll be happy to help out elsewhere in the company when needed.

Or David will emphasize that the help is needed in risk management, vitally important and you are the only one who can do it - your response now can either be to agree but ask for extra support since it's not a work area that you feel confident in, or to continue to say no (this decision is down to how much you feel like running out of the building and never coming back if you are forced to work in risk management.)

It's going to be a difficult conversation but worth it because risk management sounds like a stressful enough place without adding in the stress of you not wanting to be there in the first place.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Thanks, and I totally agree with you. This hiring freeze has really taken a toll on employee morale, among other things. My expectation is that my boss will insist that I provide support to RM, since there doesn't appear to be anyone else available and they can't bring someone in from the outside. I don't want to be difficult and approach the union leadership and file a grievance (and I'd hate it if it came to that). I've worked in my department for many years, and I feel this is the place I really want to focus on in the long term.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Problem Saying No and Being Assertive

You WILL give me your bank account number.


Filing a grievance with the union is a form of saying no and being assertive, just in a more indirect manner. If you're willing to do that, I think you could tell your boss how you feel about taking on this new assignment. In fact, write out a brief statement detailing what you take issue with and would like to see change - just as you would when filing the grievance - memorize it, and use it as a guide for what you will say to your boss. Having a solid plan for what you want to say beforehand will help you feel more confident when speaking to your boss.

Say something along the lines of you don't feel you can do your best work when your attention is divided between these two different tasks.

 

[Owain Taggart]

Ahh, I know the feeling. My sister's often in the same situation at her work, where she works in HR and often has to taken on other duties. I'd probably tell your boss that it isn't what you signed up to do, that you're not comfortable taking on more work, that your time would be better spent on the tasks at hand that you did sign up for . He'd probably understand, and I know bosses sometimes lose perspective of what the employees under their wing are able to do as individuals. When facing something like this, it does make me wonder if perhaps he has a plan in mind to move you to that other department permanently while having someone else take over your current department. Because honestly, that seems like a little bit too much work for one person, and I know he probably means well. But it does sound like it should be one or the other, not both.

 

[Gryffindorian]

There's not an absence of work in my area. In fact, my boss is working on several projects, most of which he's assigned and delegated to his subordinates (myself included). I realize, too, that he and I have had our disagreements, but I highly doubt this is a ploy to "get rid of me." He's got nothing against me, and if he did have something, he'd talk to me about it rather than randomly transfer personnel to another department against their will.

 

[Lindley]

No harm in giving the Risk Management job a try. If it isn't working out after a week, you can say so and ask your boss to get you out of it.

 

[Gryffindorian]

No harm in giving the Risk Management job a try. If it isn't working out after a week, you can say so and ask your boss to get you out of it.

Which is precisely what I intend to do. I can tell already how much I'm going to dislike the job.

My boss has been out sick for a couple of days, but I sent him an e-mail and addressed my concerns before he and I get to meet with Carol next week.

 

[Owain Taggart]

There's not an absence of work in my area. In fact, my boss is working on several projects, most of which he's assigned and delegated to his subordinates (myself included). I realize, too, that he and I have had our disagreements, but I highly doubt this is a ploy to "get rid of me." He's got nothing against me, and if he did have something, he'd talk to me about it rather than randomly transfer personnel to another department against their will.

Oh, I'm sorry if that's how it sounded. I wasn't trying to imply that he'd be trying to get rid of you. Maybe he's just trying to judge your abilities for extra work. I guess I understood that he was in charge of both departments though, trying to fill in the gaps so to speak.

 

[trampledamage]

In a lot of ways you should take this as a compliment to your ability to handle difficult tasks. It's just one of those compliments you could live without

 

[Gryffindorian]

Well, once upon a time, I was a perfectionist, tried to please everyone, go the extra mile, etc. After so many years as a civil service employee, I've gotten somewhat jaded. Besides, I do my share of work as much as (if not more than) everyone else, and I'm not just trying to get by with enough work. I am willing to take on more responsibilities as long as they're well within my job description, skill set, or level of comfort. You can't assign an engineer to do a medical doctor's job. The right person has to do the right job, and in this case, I don't believe it's a match.

 

[Captain_Nick]

You could go in, fuck everything up, and show them exactly why you're not qualified. I call that 'passive assertiveness'

 

[Gryffindorian]

You could go in, fuck everything up, and show them exactly why you're not qualified. I call that 'passive assertiveness'

Absolutely! I've thought of that already.

So my boss David was back in the office today. He said he hasn't a had a chance to talk with Carol yet, and I reiterated that I didn't feel like doing this assignment for a long time. At the most, I'd be willing to give it a try at least for two weeks or a month, but I don't think my boss is hearing what I'm actually saying.

So I documented all the conversations and meetings that I had with David and Carol, and in the process of writing a message to be sent to a union representative. I do feel that it's unfair for me to carry the burden of responsibility just because my employer doesn't want to hire temporary help. I should at least have a say when it comes to my personal work schedule or preference. I'm an employee, not a piece of office equipment that can be bounced back and forth between departments.

 

[Myasishchev]

Set fire to the building and get that damn stapler back.

 

[JiNX-01]

I believe this is a personal issue I need to work on.
I work in the finance department of a utility agency, specifically in accounting. There is currently a hiring freeze at work; so when an employee leaves or retires, he/she doesn't necessarily get replaced. The work keeps piling up, and others are handed the unfortunate task of taking on more work. Although I don't mind taking on more responsibilities as I did in the past, I can't help feeling like I'm being used or taken advantage of sometimes.

To elaborate, my boss "David" and I met the other day, and he basically wanted to "volunteer" me to work in another organization (risk management). One of their employees retired in January, and now the unit is short-handed and needs extra coverage. The arrangement is that I would be split 50/50 between accounting and risk in the next six months, and I already met with the risk manager "Carol" to discuss work responsibilities, possible work schedule, etc. A future start date is yet to be determined.

To be honest, I don't like the fact that this assignment was just arbitrarily given to me, and I, of course, feeling timid about saying no, accepted, though tentatively, and said I would be willing to help in any way I could. I don't recall anyone saying to me, "How would you feel about working part-time in another unit?" Personally, I would much rather stay where I am 100% of the time, enjoying the work interactions I have with people in my group. Upon meeting with Carol in risk, I also learned that the work would involve a lot of critical, time-sensitive issues, putting out fires, and dealing with angry callers from the public. This revelation further contributed to my anguish, considering I'm not a "people person" and have very little background (and patience) in customer service.

I really wish I had the ability to say no to people. In this case, it appears I have very little choice in the matter. On one hand, I'd like to be able to help others and would feel bad if I let them down. On the other hand, I have personal concerns, too, in terms of my comfort level. What if, for any reason, this arrangement doesn't work out? Worst case (and best case) scenario is that I would still be working in accounting full-time, doing the work I like and being with people I enjoy.

Any thoughts or similar experiences you've had?

Go to your union. Your union's contract may have something that can block management from forcing you to take a job for which you're not qualified.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I'm feeling rather indecisive at the moment. I haven't e-mailed the president of my local union yet because I don't want to be too premature. I don't want to come off sounding like I'm already complaining about something I haven't even started yet. To be honest, I don't have much to report to him apart from my gripes about the hiring freeze and the "inconvenience" this would be for me. I would at least like to see how this arrangement would play out.

My boss is having me coordinate with another staff to review my regular workload and duties in accounting to figure out my work assignment schedule in risk management. David said once that's figured out, then he'll talk to Carol and I can start in RM next week. We'll see how that goes.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I hope it goes well for you G.
Both Son and I have had work issues recently and they are so difficult to resolve in this current climate without making yourself unemployed.
But do stand up for yourself, show willing and calmly explain your concerns.

On no account let your Mother email your boss after He went into a meeting to reduce his hours because of exams, and ends up working more ~ it just confuses things

 

[Gryffindorian]

Thanks, K'Ehleyr. Good luck to you and your son, too. You mentioned the work situation you have in your thread. I guess I'm lucky I don't have to deal with difficult people (co-workers or customers) at the moment; maybe my boss is a bit of an idiot, but I get along pretty well with him and don't want to ruin things.

I've been having these back-and-forth meetings with my boss David and have gotten mixed results. Yesterday he and I talked to address and clarify some of my concerns. I said that everything seemed to be "etched in stone" and that I had very little or no control over the work assignment. He said that was not the case at all, that I did have some "flexibility" as far as being able to manage my schedule and balance my workload between the two work units. He said, "Beggars can't be choosers. You set the directions." I somewhat felt a sigh of relief when I heard that.

Then when I met with him again today, he basically told me my proposed work schedule in accounting and RM, which was inconsistent with what I had agreed on with RM. Carol and I had an understanding that I was going to work mornings in Accounting and afternoons in RM, but David thought it would be better if things were the other way around. Where the hell's the flexibility in that? Ultimately, management is still telling me where and when I work. At this point, it doesn't really matter; I'm stuck with this assignment in any case, and it's a losing battle, which I never had any hope of winning. I then sent an e-mail to my union reps to tell them what's been happening, but it wasn't a formal grievance.

Although I don't see any resolution to this, at least I find comfort in being able to talk about it and share my sentiments with others.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Although I don't see any resolution to this, at least I find comfort in being able to talk about it and share my sentiments with others.

That's what I love about this site too. We may not have a magic wand but we listen, and try to help

It would seem your plan to give it 2 weeks is the best idea. See if it works out for all of you ~ you never know you may enjoy it.
You'll be working with different people, doing different tasks, you could get a lot out of it.
The fact that you have agreed to try will give you kudos and it seems that the two bosses have the problem and are fighting over you ~ try and think of it that way

Best of luck Gryffindorian and remember to paint that smile on

 

[Gryffindorian]

^^ Great advice! Thanks.