Is it really true that the UFP swore to protect the Romulans... and not only refused to raise a second fleet but refused to participate in Romulan reconstruction? Is this really the case
Why are you asking if something happened that was explicitly established in the canon to have happened?
Is it really true that Federation Starfleet Captain James T. Kirk commanded the USS
Enterprise NCC-1701 on a five-year mission of exploration in the 2260s?
and Is it really so wrong for the UFP to decline to aid Romulan Free state if true.
I'm not sure what you mean here? The Romulan Free State wasn't established until after the supernova led to the collapse of the Star Empire. The Federation refused to assist the Star Empire before the supernova, not the Free State.
But, yes, it was really so wrong for the Federation to refuse to assist the Star Empire in evacuating its affected worlds. That's profound malice.
(I wouldnt be surprised if the UFP did since the RFE is generally recognized by fans as being in UFP sphere
What? On what basis is that assertion made?
(hence the lack of Romulan Quantum singularity drives post burn)
There is no indication whatsoever that quantum singularity drives weren't present after the Burn; quantum singularity drives obviously must require dilithium just like matter/anti-matter drives, since we know from NEM that Romulus was dependent upon dilithium mines on Remus. This makes perfect sense -- dilithium is an energy-regulation mechanism, not an energy-generation mechanism. The Burn would therefore disable or destroy ships that use quantum singularity drives just the same as ships that use matter/anti-matter drives.
and Rafi's son does have a Romulan wife(not really evidence regarding UFP aid to RFS)
Well, Gabriel was born on Mars, but by 2399 he was living with his Romulan wife Pel on Freecloud, an independent world and not part of the UFP. So really all we know from this tidbit is that the Federation and whatever post-Star Empire Romulan polity Pel is from both allow their citizens to emigrate to Freecloud.
If we want to try to infer anything about the relationship between the Federation and the Romulan Free State, I think it would be better to consider the fact that Laris and Zhaban both chose to emigrate to Earth and the fact that the Romulan Free State, and the fact that the Romulan Free State allowed Federation scientists to participate in the Borg Artifact Research Institute and allowed Hugh, a UFP citizen, to serve as the Institute's Executive Director. To me, that does imply a relatively more liberal immigration policy between the UFP and RFS, and implies that the RFS in particular is more open and less xenophobic than the Star Empire was. There's no way the old Star Empire would have allowed anyone other than loyal Romulans to study the Borg Artifact back in the day.
and the Romulan Borg cube does have a Starfleet contingent
The UFP scientists at the Artifact all seem to be civilians, not Starfleet.
The trill reporter was trolling Picard and her comment on Romulan lives mattering less(which the Romulans are obviously not UFP citizens so it is true) isn't anti Romulan racism
It was absolutely anti-Romulan bigotry. Which does not mean that there's a discriminatory immigration policy, but there's absolutely anti-Romulan bigotry in UFP political culture.