"It's the reason I got the collected works of Shakespeare."
-Jean Luc Picard
Excerpt from editiorial by Iranos Raza, Trill Ambassador, IOClast Weekly, SEPT 3 2358:
It is perhaps the most dull work concieved of by any sentient species - longer than The Three Fates of A Toothless Gorn, more overwrought than the epic tale of Mo the Oppurtunistic Salvage Capatlist, and blander than Karava Atamari's best-selling Nondescript Writing Experiment #3.
Internal memo from Cardassian Embassy, Utah, Earth
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Communication logged by Glinn Hrakert, minimal decryption. AUG 8 2358
[]
Recieved by Negotiation Command at 2600.
Ambassador Reket went missing during the Federation Anthem at the opening ceremony of the 32nd Khitomer Accords. We were unable to locate him until a number of days later, when we found him sleeping underneath our diplomatic transport. He was delirious, calling himself "Legate Max Power", and proceeded to lecture me regarding holidays - his new opinion is that they should be referred to as "Non-Denominational Occasions".
Enclosed is a request for a new ambassador.
Description of the Anthem, provided by the Federation Commission for the Distribution of Non-Offensive Cultural Material, Circa 2357:
A musical prelude is performed on synthesized wind and percussion instruments tailored to suit the tastes of as many sentients as is possible.
After the interlude has finished, one representative from each of the member worlds step forward and say "United Federation of Planets" in a calm, even tone. Representatives first step forward in alphabetical order, then in the alphabetical order of each language spoken in the Federation. They then ask if anyone found their recitation offensive, and if their delivery was distinctly Federation, while retaining their unique cultural heritage.
Memo from Captain D. Ventralis, 2360
RE: First Contact Day Ceremony
Admiral , I reccomend we eschew the full anthem and just play the prelude. This event is being attended by beings with mortal lifespans, and it would be best not to offend them.
-Jean Luc Picard
Excerpt from editiorial by Iranos Raza, Trill Ambassador, IOClast Weekly, SEPT 3 2358:
It is perhaps the most dull work concieved of by any sentient species - longer than The Three Fates of A Toothless Gorn, more overwrought than the epic tale of Mo the Oppurtunistic Salvage Capatlist, and blander than Karava Atamari's best-selling Nondescript Writing Experiment #3.
Internal memo from Cardassian Embassy, Utah, Earth
[]
Communication logged by Glinn Hrakert, minimal decryption. AUG 8 2358
[]
Recieved by Negotiation Command at 2600.
Ambassador Reket went missing during the Federation Anthem at the opening ceremony of the 32nd Khitomer Accords. We were unable to locate him until a number of days later, when we found him sleeping underneath our diplomatic transport. He was delirious, calling himself "Legate Max Power", and proceeded to lecture me regarding holidays - his new opinion is that they should be referred to as "Non-Denominational Occasions".
Enclosed is a request for a new ambassador.
Description of the Anthem, provided by the Federation Commission for the Distribution of Non-Offensive Cultural Material, Circa 2357:
A musical prelude is performed on synthesized wind and percussion instruments tailored to suit the tastes of as many sentients as is possible.
After the interlude has finished, one representative from each of the member worlds step forward and say "United Federation of Planets" in a calm, even tone. Representatives first step forward in alphabetical order, then in the alphabetical order of each language spoken in the Federation. They then ask if anyone found their recitation offensive, and if their delivery was distinctly Federation, while retaining their unique cultural heritage.
Memo from Captain D. Ventralis, 2360
RE: First Contact Day Ceremony
Admiral , I reccomend we eschew the full anthem and just play the prelude. This event is being attended by beings with mortal lifespans, and it would be best not to offend them.
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