"Once I even called him... AIRHEAD."

[Turd Ferguson]

Every now and then, for shits and giggles, I'll watch one of my favorite movies on network TV, just to see how edited it is.

One of my favorite examples is in RoboCop, after Dick Jones overhears Bob Morton talking shit about him, he says. "I remember when I was a young executive in this company. I used to call the Old Man funny names. Iron Butt. Boner. Once I even called him... airhead."

I wonder why some of these movies are even shown on TV. Like, with Snakes on a Plane: "I'm tired of these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!"

But, sometimes, the edited dialogue is pretty funny. Anybody who's seen the television version of The Big Lebowski should remember Walter's tirade: "DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE GRASS!"

Does anybody else watch edited for television movies? If so, how about some of your favorite examples from your favorite movies?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

The legendary RoboCop TV version aired over here back in the early 90s. Possibly the funniest thing ITV had shown on an early Saturday evening slot until the arrival of TV Burp.

"You're gonna be a BAD mother[crusher]!"

 

[MLJames]

I remember back in the '70s when one of the networks announced it had Blazing Saddles on its fall schedule, and I thought, "They're going to have to edit it with a chainsaw." They had to cut so much out that they wound up padding the film with outtakes to fill a two-hour slot.

The funniest thing, though, doesn't even involve dialogue. The network cut out all the fart noises from the campfire scene, so you had this surreal sequence of cowboys with plates of beans in their hands, rising up and down in silence one after the other.

 

[Brikar99]

TV edits are hilarious. 'Robocop' and 'Big Lebowski' are definitely two of my favorites. 'Speed' also had a couple good ones: "Pop quiz-ANIMAL-..."

 

[Aragorn]

"Yippie kai yay, Mr. Falcon."

Also the pie eating scene from Stand By Me -- "Lard! Lard! Lard! Lard! Lard!"

 

[Venardhi]

But, sometimes, the edited dialogue is pretty funny. Anybody who's seen the television version of The Big Lebowski should remember Walter's tirade: "DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE GRASS!"

Does anybody else watch edited for television movies? If so, how about some of your favorite examples from your favorite movies?

I always heard the "Fight a stranger in the alps." version of that. It is pretty clearly John Goodman saying it too, so I imagine it is an official bowdlerization done by the original cast and crew with humorous intent.

 

[Reverend]

"Yippie kai yay, Mr. Falcon."

I'm pretty sure the edited version over here goes "Yippie kai yay, {kimosabe}."

Well, at least it makes sense...sort of?

Also the pie eating scene from Stand By Me -- "Lard! Lard! Lard! Lard! Lard!"

*thinks* You know, I don't think I've ever seen the un-edited version of that film. I'll have to rent it out some day.

As for Robocop, the funniest line for me was the bit where he breaks down the door to the drug factory and the asian bloke goes "Ahh *pumps shotgun* {Damn} you!"

The all time classic however, has to be this one: -
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmRTUNh1vPo[/yt]

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Not a movie, but I found this sketch particularly amusing:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooarT3cn8_o[/yt]