Old(er) people, do you have friends?

[pookha]

my mother was 91 when she died but despite losing a lot of them to death the last several years she still had friends she constantly kept in touch with over the phone.

i am in my fifties and have a circle of friends that impressed the heck out of my relatives.

one of my friends since her retirement has become more active in community and social groups and has made a lot of new friends.

 

[TheLonelySquire]

I'm 45 and have a million acquaintances. However, I have 4-5 very good friends and have known them for at least 20+ years each. Quality over quantity anyday.

 

[Cutter John]

47 here. I do still kinda regret leaving behind most of my friends when I moved to the west coast, however I do still have one good friend here whom I've known for over 20 years. We only see each other maybe for a few hours every couple of months, but when we do, its almost like we never parted. We pick up the same jokes and stories we were on about on the previous ocassion. I guess its a sign of maturity. That you don't HAVE to be in constant contact with a person to maintain a friendship. Thats probably why cel phones seem to be most popular with the teens and twenty-somethings.

 

[rramarr]

I have very much older siblings and I have noticed their friendship circles change as they become more or less useful i.e., church affiliations, kid involvement, and life changes that move people away. At 50 they are not going out to the club.

 

[kitsune]

I don't have any friends within 200 miles.

 

[gorn_to_be_wild]

I'm 46. Very territorial,as in I don't like it when people come to my house,with very few exceptions. It's really weird..I have a very charismatic personality,so when I go out I'm quickly surrounded by people who haven't seen me in a long time and want to hang out with me. As do their friends who have never met me before. But I always,after politely greeting everybody who approaches me,withdraw to my own little dark corner of the club to sit quietly and drink and watch everybody. I honestly don't trust anybody and feel uncomfortable when people try to get close to me. Okay,I've got M.P.D and O.C.D and loads of other S.H.I.T so maybe that's got a lot do do with it.

 

[T'Bonz]

Not locally. The bad thing about Florida is that people MOVE AWAY so damned often. I lost 3 best friends to moves.

My two real-life-only best friends, one from that group of three and one from high school live a thousand miles away.

Even my neighbor with whom I was friends moved. I'm on nodding terms with most of my neighbors but am not particularly close.

DH's best friends moved away too. When we were younger (pre-kids) we socialized with a group from his work. Most are gone, or had families of their own.

When I worked, I had friends. Same for when I didn't work for a while when the kids were little. You could make friends when meeting other parents. But now that I'm home and the kids are grown, I don't have a local friend anymore. I get my social needs met by my family (mother and brother live in the area,) or online, or by calling my kids.

Pretty much, I was always happy with just one really good friend. I miss that now, but I've not met anyone in years with whom I've clicked. IRL I mean. I do have friends online for whom I care and I've even met/socialized with some of them but oceans or the miles separate us. Too bad, as I have met people with whom I wouldn't mind socializing. Quite a few in fact.

So while I have friends, they're not living where I can coffee-klatsch with them, or shop or go to events or whatever. I miss that. I really miss my best friend who now is living in my hometown (she's originally from there,) plus I'm jealous that she lives home and I'm stuck down here. Blech.

 

[Niorah]

My parents have a more active social life than I do.

I think this sums it up for me as well.

My parents are in their 60's and it feels like they are going through a second youth. They are making new friends and going out and having guests over for lunches and dinners and weekends more than ever.

Good for them I say.

 

[jamestyler]

I thought of my mother (in her fifties) as having no friends for a long time, she only just started socialising outwith her church last year.

She just needed a nudge in the right direction, her life was her family and with us all moving on she didn't know what to do next. In a way she's starting over and has been much happier since.

 

[Australis]

When my Mum was alive, my parents had a hugely active social life and made friends wherever they went. Now Dad's on his own, he still hangs with them, but, well, doesn't enjoy it so much. They were in their mid 70s.

I'm 50, and have no friends. There's people I call friends I maintain touch with via email, but in effect they've ceased being RL friends. My family consumes way too much of my time, they're very high maintenance - lot of illness, lot of mental wibbling. And from me too.

What time I do have to myself I tend to shepherd for the things I want/need to do. And spend WAY too much time in here! Sometimes I get lonely, and certainly wish I could find some local musos to jam with, but I've put myself here in a lot of ways, and in the long run it suits my purposes better

I do remember, I think it was an ad on Discovery Channel using statistics, that said something like, "When you're 20 you have 15 close friends, when you're 60 you have 3". Something like that.

 

[NJOberheim]

I've lost touch with a lot of my childhood friends. We just drifted apart. Some because of family obligations (kids, work, etc) and others just moved away.

I definetly find it more difficult to make new friends as you get older (im 40). There are less opportunities. I have absolutely nothing in common with people I work with. And to make matters worse, Im kinda shy and it takes me a while to be myself when meeting new people.

So If anyone here want's to be friends, PM me!

 

[propita]

I had no childhood friends. I avoided people beyond acquaintanceships--I so disliked myself, just because I couldn't get away from myself that didn't mean I wanted to inflict myself on others.

Yeah, pretty bad.

It's truly amazing I survived, got a job, been with Hubby over 20yrs, and went back to school-law school, making friends there.

I didn't make anyone I considered a friend (someone to rely on and be there for) until college--and then only one. At work, a couple more that I've tried to keep in touch with even though I haven't worked there in 9yrs. At law school, still more--but since it's law school and the Bar is approaching, the opportunities for getting together are rare. And with Hubby's busy work schedule, we don't get to socialize as a couple too much.

Hubby's had friends all his life, and tried to keep them--but life gets in the way, you know? People have jobs, kids, lives, and get busy just living day to day.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

I have friends that range form eraly 20's to Mid 50's
I'm 47.

 

[Mallory]

I have about four or five good friends. I used to have a lot more, but I lost pretty much all of them when I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast back in the 80s. Three thousand miles, three time zones and no real internet pretty much brought contact to a halt to any real visits or communications with the old group/

 

[RevDMV]

46 here, a few friends, rarely seen. Older friends that are not geogrphically close enough to keep up with, except for the occasional visit or holiday hello.

Much like others it's all about the kids right now. I have two boys 5 and 9, between sports, scouts and other family activities, its a full time gig.

We hang with some of the other neighborhood parents from time to time, it's good to have some adult time.

Coensidentally, one of my good friends is coming into tonight to join the neighborhood poker game, and then were golfing tomorrow.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I think it depends less on age and a lot more on personality. My dad has very little friends, but my mom has tons. I am like my dad in many ways and I also have no friends besides my boyfriend and some people I talk to at school (but would never hang out with out of school). I get more enjoyment out of spending time by myself, I don't really like being around other people. My sister is more like my mom and has about a hundred friends. My sister and I are both in our early 20s, my parents in their 40s.

 

[The Sneeze Police]

Yes, I have friends, but not too many...but I have never had many friends at any point in my life. I do maintain several friendly acquaintances.

I am in my mid to forties.