Newbie writer's first fan fic idea

[JD]

After hanging out on the Trek Lit section of the boards, I've been inspired to try my hand at writing down some of the story ideas I've been having for ages now, and since one of them is Trek I thought it might be fun to share it here.
I've been a big fan of show/movies like Bond, Alias, 24, Chuck, and MI-5, so it's pretty much a spy series along those lines.
I'm still in the very early stage, so I honestly haven't even come up with names for the characters, or even a title for the series. But I do have a pretty clear idea of what the feel of it will be, and what the main 3 or 4 characters are like.

Ok so here are my ideas
The Ship: USS Fleming: A Prometheus class ship which serves as a mobile HQ and support facility for the main characters' undercover missions. When the series begins, the ship has just been launched as the first ship with this kind of mission.

The Field Agent (main character):Human Male, 32 years old: He's been at this for a few years, longer enough that's he's able to slip into and out of his undercover roles when neccissary, but not so long that he's become jaded. While he can play the vicious criminal or terrorist when neccissary, he is actually a very nice guy when he gets to be himself. He's jumped around the galaxy quite a bit, so he is friends with lots of people all around the fleet. One of his closest friends over the years has been his mentor Elias Vaughn (the series takes place concurrently with the DS9Relaunch so he's on DS9, but he will still be appearing from time to time when this character calls him). It takes him a little while to get used to working consistantly with the same people on the ship.
The Main Character's Partner: Human Male, 40 years old:
A veteran field officer, he also helped train the main character. After the main character finished his training, his now partner requested that they be assigned together permanently.
Support Officer and sometimes Field Officer : Andorian zhen, equivalent to a human in her late 20s: A Starfleet brat, she was raised in New Orleans on Earth. Her parents were both assigned to Starfleet Headquarters, and after moving around Earth for a while they decided that of all the places they had been NO was their favorite, so they settled down there. She speaks with a thick Louisiana accent. I've always thought it would be interesting to see an alien who was part of a human culture, and you wouldn't expect an Andorian to have a southern accent, so I just thought this could be fun to do. When she doesn't go off ship on missions with the main character she provides mission support.
The Captain: Saurian, Male, older: A veteran officer, he was chosen as the captain of the Fleming due to his impressive record including involvement in Cardassian War, 2372 UFP-Klingon War, and the Dominion War.

 

[JD]

First story plot:
When an unknown group somehow attacks a secret joint Federation/Klingon/Romulan research facility is attacked, and a new piece of extremely dangerous technology is stolen the Fleming's crew are assigned to investigate. When they arrive at the research facility they find out that the stolen tech was a new type of undetectable stealth suit that the three powers had first started researching during the DW. They eventually track down the attackers' ship and the two field agents are sent to infiltrate it's crew. They eventually find out that whatever is going on is actually going on is much bigger than just one ship. The group this ship is part of will be the series main (but not only) antagonists.

So, do you guys like the ideas?

 

[DarKush]

Sounds good. If I were you I wouldn't be so worried about what we think. Just write. And post-it.

 

[JD]

Ok, thanks. I just was just curious to see if anyone thought they were any good. Like I said, it's the first time I ever did something this, and I didn't want to post a whole story. only to have people tell me it wasn't any good and I wasted my time.

 

[CeJay]

Yeah, Darkush is right. Just start writing. You don't have to post the whole thing right away. In fact the best way to post here is in installments. Not too long, not too short. If you're lucky you'll get some feedback straight away and then you can decide if you want to keep with it or not.

But if your goal is to write purely for others you may set yourself up for disappointment. Fan-fic readers are generally a tough crowd and there tends to be more supply than demand. You gotta want to write because you want to not because you're looking for others to like what you're doing.

Some writers including myself are big on loyalty. Which means you show interest in their stuff and they will tend to do the same for you.

As for your story idea, it's not the most original thing I've ever heard but I like the espionage angle and there aren't many series around (that I can think of) which have done this and done it well.

My only concern would be that you're giving your spies their own ship to play with. I can see why it is tempting to write a Star Trek story around a starship (it's kinda what we do) but I always have to wonder about spies in starships. I mean it's not like you see the CIA running around in US Navy destroyers. That would kinda defeat the purpose of what they are about.

You could have your agents travel around on commercial transports instead, there is no reason why those shouldn't be as fast as a Starfleet ship. Or if they must have their own ship, it could be a civilian vessel which doesn't attract much attention. The plus side to that is that it opens some dramatic story telling opportunities. For example your heroes would have to get seriously creative when they would have to face a superior enemy. If you can't imagine your series without a Starfleet ship, you could always give them something less conspicuous than a top off the line Prometheus class.

But it's your story and you write it the way that you want. That's all that matters.

Good luck.

 

[JD]

Don't worry, I'm writing this because I want to tell stories, not for attention or anything. I just thought it might be fun to share my ideas is all.
As for the ship, I was also considering making it a new type of ship that looked like a civilian ship on the outside, but was actually a super advanced SF ship inside.
The only reason I was giving them a ship was so that they would have support nearby, and so they wouldn't have to worry about trying to get transport to the missions. Instead of it being like the CIA using a US Naval battleship, I was thinking of it more as the agents being assigned to a local office that moves.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I'm also very slowly working my way through a similar outline for an urban fantasy idea I had. Although that one is my baby, and I haven't even shown it to my family yet.

 

[TheLoneRedshirt]

I think you have an interesting premise for a story, but I will echo the other respondents - go ahead and post a portion to give us a sample. It doesn't have to be a long segment. (Like CeJay said, it's usually better to post in installments than all at once). You will probably gain helpful feedback once you introduce key characters and lead us into the story.

Jump in, the water's fine!

 

[BrotherBenny]

Jump in, the water's fine!

We don't bite.

Though I would add as a caveat that you at least run what you plan on posting through a spell check.

Good luck and we all look forward to reading it.

 

[JD]

I'm actually starting to think it might be a while before I get enough plotted out to being writting more of it on here.
I actually starting coming up with alot of the ideas months ago, on days were I was really bored at work. But now that I've started doing this more seriously I've kind of forgotten where I wanted to go with alot of it.

 

[FicWriter]

JD: I'd create a small, plausible crew of (undercover Starfleet Operatives) dressing and behaving as civilians with a non-Starfleet vessel such as the (alien) Raider (that was after the Vulcan psychic-amplifier weapon,) that Riker & Picard had to infiltrate. A Prometheus-Class hunter/killer goes way beyond overkill. You require a vessel that's along the lines of a modern cigarette boat: somewhat fast, sleek & doesn't draw overly immodest amounts of undue attention to its owners/operators. A "Lost Years" / Early TNG-era transport such as an Anteres or Whorfin-Class or a modified container ship for occasional uncomfortable run-in's with villains.

That way, the ship & crew can go places without raising eyebrows, suspicions, & your villains' ire beyond the fact there's another truck on the highway competing for contracts.

Credit: Java-Class Container Ship from "Star Trek: Rising Sun", by Owen E. Oulton.
http://www.coldnorth.com/owen/game/startrek/rising sun/ships.htm

 

[The Badger]

Yeah, the basic concept is sound, but a Prometheus class is overdoing it. You mention the idea of a 'local office that moves'. I'd suggest two elements:

The heroes should have their own ship, something discreet that won't attract attention. Something like the merchant ship from TSFS, or one of the vessels FicWriter suggests. Although it looks normal enough, and would appear ordinary to basic sensor scans, it could be souped up with superior engines, weapons and shields. Not a combat vessel, but capable enough to get away from most patrol ships.

There should also be a backup/headquarters ship. Whilst the team are intelligence gathering, it is here that analysis and planning takes place. There should be facilities for developing new equipment (an on board 'Q' lab). If the heroes need extra firepower it could be brought into the fray, but for the most part should stay away from the action ready for secret rendezvous. I'd suggest something like a Miranda class, common enough that it won't attract undue attention if seen, old enough to be dismissed as a threat. Of course, it too has been modified beyond it's specs...

Just my ideas of course, ultimately what you write is up to you. Good luck!

 

[RobertScorpio]

JD: I'd create a small, plausible crew of (undercover Starfleet Operatives) dressing and behaving as civilians with a non-Starfleet vessel such as the (alien) Raider (that was after the Vulcan psychic-amplifier weapon,) that Riker & Picard had to infiltrate. A Prometheus-Class hunter/killer goes way beyond overkill. You require a vessel that's along the lines of a modern cigarette boat: somewhat fast, sleek & doesn't draw overly immodest amounts of undue attention to its owners/operators. A "Lost Years" / Early TNG-era transport such as an Anteres or Whorfin-Class or a modified container ship for occasional uncomfortable run-in's with villains.

That way, the ship & crew can go places without raising eyebrows, suspicions, & your villains' ire beyond the fact there's another truck on the highway competing for contracts.

Credit: Java-Class Container Ship from "Star Trek: Rising Sun", by Owen E. Oulton.
http://www.coldnorth.com/owen/game/startrek/rising sun/ships.htm

I think it sounds different, which is good. cant wait to see what you put out. CEJAY hit it on the nail thought. Do it in installments.


Rob

 

[JD]

Wow, thanks for the input, and I think what you guys are saying, does make alot more sense than my original ideas, so I think I will go that way. But, I have to admit, like I said before I'm becoming less and less sure about doing this as time comes goes on. Although I'm still trying to come up with ideas, I'm not sure how long it'll be before I really start writing it.

But, on a good note, I did finally come up with a name, STAR TREK: Culper. I'm also thinking that I'm going to go with that as the name of the ship too. I came up with this idea just this afternoon as I was watching America: The History of Us on the American History Channel. In it they talk about a spy ring known as the Culper Ring, who worked out of British occupied New York during the American Revolution. The leaders of the group were two men who when by the code names Samuel Culper Sr. and Jr.

 

[Whtstr314]

I don't know if you're a gamer or not, but have you considered using an Incursion class vessel? It was featured prominently in Star Trek Away Team and Starfleet Command III and it's equipped with a holographic cloak that enables it to mimic other ships, so it would allow it sneak in undetected even in enemy territory. Just a suggestion, especially since you seem like the top of the line ships like the Prometheus class. And for the record, I agree with my far more esteemed colleagues that you just need to start writing the thing. I tend to put all my ducks in a row before finally sitting behind a keyboard to start typing the bloody thing, and I can tell you know, that is when I get stuck and stay stuck.

 

[Mistral]

I just write and decide afterwards if its worth posting. As for a ship-low key is good. Everyone wants to embrace the massive classes-but maybe they aren't right for the job. Your people aren't showing the flag-they are operating covert. So be subtle....

 

[JD]

Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go that route. As for writing, I've got a pretty clear prolouge in mind, so I might start working on it this weekend.