My Sister is Dying

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by 1001001, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. 1001001

    1001001 Pull Up a Groove and Get Fabulous! Moderator

    Nov 3, 2001
    In a Bozo Nightmare
    I'd like to share a bit about my personal life, particularly what my family is going through and why I haven't been around much.

    Simply put, my sister is dying.

    I have just the one sibling. She's 38 years old. She is an alcoholic, and 8 months ago she was diagnosed with cirhossis of the liver.

    She decided not to go into rehab or therapy or anything else. Over the past 6 months or so, she's been in the hospital 7 or 8 times. She always leaves AMA (against medical advice) and goes home to drink some more.

    About 2 weeks ago, she went into the hospital again, jaundiced and incoherent. Her liver and kidneys are failing. The hospital told her there was nothing more they could do. They had her sign up for hospice care. The Medical Director subsequently told her she had two more weeks to live. That was 5 days ago.

    My family has elected me to deal with it. I am in constant touch with the hospice staff, who have been great, even in the face of my sister's craziness. They are trying to keep her comfortable. I am arranging the funeral, in steady contact with the cemetary. Today at work, I took 5 calls from hospice staff regarding my sister and her care as she prepares to die.

    Alcoholism is so insane. It's a surreal experience. I suppose moreso because of what I do. Among other things, I run a licensed residential treatment center for the dually-diagnosed. And yet there has been absolutely nothing I can do.

    In any event, very soon, perhaps as little as a few days, I will be going home to bury my baby sister. Our whole family will be there of course. Our Dad. Our Grandpa. Various aunts, uncles, and cousins. And we will stand at her grave, wondering what alcoholism has robbed the world of. Again.

    Please think positive thoughts for my family and I. If I disappear for a while, you'll understand why.
  2. Kestra

    Kestra Admiral Premium Member

    Jul 6, 2005
    I don't really have words, but ... my thoughts are with you and your family.

    I'm so, so sorry.
  3. Crusher Disciple

    Crusher Disciple Admiral Admiral

    Dec 4, 2001
    Crusher Disciple
    You and your family are in my thoughts.
  4. JonathonWally

    JonathonWally Admiral Admiral

    Digits, I'm so sorry bro, you and your family are in my prayers.
  5. freak

    freak Commodore Commodore

    Nov 17, 2005
    stationed at NCIS post Voyager.
    OMG, I'm so sorry about this! You know, Dad has some friends who are alchoholics and have cirosis of the liver as well. They continue to drink heavily and are both paying for it cause they both are beginning to show signs of swelling of the face and stomach. It's a husband and wife that are usually at the baseball games when we go. I always wonder how those two ever get home safely cause they are always drunk and they usually drive themselves home. The wife is BEAUTIFUL but she looks pregnant even though she's not because of the alchohol. Alchoholism is a strange illness but it is an illness indeed. And to think that your sister is going through a way, she's being selfish to you and to your family. And I'll bet you feel obligated to take care of her cause no one else will. In another way, they are making you the enabler, which probably causes conflict in the family. I'm so sorry to read about this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you especially and your family. This is a tough time to die!
  6. nx1701g

    nx1701g Admiral Admiral

    Jun 26, 2001
    2001 - 2016
    I'm so sorry to hear about this. I will be thinking about you and your family 1001001.
  7. judexavier

    judexavier Commander Red Shirt

    Mar 18, 2008
    Hot Springs, AR
    1001001, my prayers are with you, your family, and your sister.
  8. pookha

    pookha Admiral Admiral

    Dec 26, 2002
    so sorry you and your family are going through all this.
    sometimes what you are doing.. trying to ensure her last moments are comfortable are the only things one can do in face of a determined addict.

    in the end all one can do is offer the path that an addict can take to kick their addiction and support if they chose to do so.
    but when they reject that sometimes all one can do is stand aside and wait for the end.

    and yes hospice is a wonderful thing.
  9. Orac Zen

    Orac Zen Mischief Manager Super Moderator

    Mar 14, 2000
    Of course.
    Indeed. :(

    I'm sorry, digits. What a dreadful thing to have to deal with.
  10. Mallory

    Mallory Moderator In Memoriam

    Jul 17, 2002
    Oregon, USA
    I'm so very sorry for you and your family Digits. I can't begin to fathom the anguish you must be feeling. You and your's will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  11. Bears Discover Fire

    Bears Discover Fire Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Mar 31, 2002
    Digits, words fail me.

    You have my condolences and my thoughts.
  12. Zulu Romeo

    Zulu Romeo World Famous Starship Captain Admiral

    Oct 31, 2004
    Alcohol liver disease is one of the saddest illnesses to suffer, especially when it comes to the final stages - physically, physiologically, emotionally, and spiritually crushing for not only the person in question, but undoubtedly for their loved ones. My thoughts are with you and your family too, digits.
  13. Roshi

    Roshi Admiral Admiral

    Nov 22, 2004
    Ouch! Sorry to hear about that Digits. Be strong.
  14. Canadave

    Canadave Vice Admiral Admiral

    Dec 29, 2002
    Saint Catharines, ON
    I'm very sorry to hear that, Digits. I have a younger sister myself, and I can only imagine how I'd feel in your shoes.
  15. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Mar 11, 2005
    Gil T.Azell
    As do I Canadadave,
    I cant imagine what 1001001 is going through.
    Good thoughts and prayers to 1001001 and his sister and family in this difficult time.
  16. Aurian

    Aurian Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 10, 2001
    Stockholm, Sweden
    My heart goes out to you and your family. As I work in social services I often work with the alcoholics, hoping that they see the light and not end up like your sister do. I only work "for them" and am not related to them. Still it breaks my heart sometimes.
    I hope this time will be the best it can be, and that your sister finds her rest.
    All my thoughts and care sent your way..
  17. hamudm

    hamudm Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    May 3, 2001
    Langley, B.C., Canada
    My best thoughts are with you and your family. Know that you have friends here.
  18. Revdkathy

    Revdkathy BobTheSkutter's wife Moderator

    Oct 9, 2000
    being the perfect housewife
    Oh Digits! :(

    Make that huge hugs. :(
  19. The Wreath of Khan

    The Wreath of Khan Locutus of Bored Moderator

    Jul 5, 2004
    Rockin' 'Round the Moons of Nibia
    Nothing I can say will be adequate, but I truly wish you, your sister, and the rest of your family the best during this crisis.

    Having felt helpless myself in the face of an alcoholic who doesn't want to quit even after hitting the proverbial rock bottom, I sympathize completely with your unenviable situation.

    Good luck.
  20. Sheep

    Sheep Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 22, 2001
    Wow, I'm speechless. :(

    You have my condolences. I'll think good thoughts for you and your family.