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My First Tanning Session

Yeoman Randi

Yeoman Randi

Vice Admiral
Admiral
M'kay, so to start off so you get the idea, i am the whitest person in America. There is no exaggeration to this fact. My son actually held the title until last weekend when he went to the shore on vacation and didnt apply lotion. Now he's a lobster.

But i digress.

So, I'm very white. I actually have to take Vit. D suppliments because i hate the heat and well, i just hate being outside. I have become quite the hermit.

Digressing again.

Anyway, i have this convention thing i am supposed to go to in Florida at the end of the month. I have the ticket, have the plane ticket and don't want to go. There are people there that i no longer care to see, but will end up bumping into.

Digressing again.

So, in a feeble attempt at boosting my self esteem, i went to a tanning salon today. It was half off day, woohoo! Cost $4.50. Of course i didn't think ahead and didn't bring any suntan lotion. Not that i have any since i don't go outside...

Digressing....

So with the packet of lotion ($2) and a loaned pair of those weird eye goggles (straight out of science fiction) i am shown into the tanning room.

Sweet zombie jesus. We are talking a photon torpedo looking thing. Like what K'ehleyr was transported in. I get undressed as quickly as possible b/c i am told i have five minutes to do so and get the lotion on and into the bed before it starts. (God forbid i should miss a minute that i've paid for)

Holy fuck. It was the weirdest experience. First of all, i thought you had to turn over in these things. Nuh uh. There's lights on the top AND the bottom. And it is HOT in there, even though there is a fan running.

Thank god i had to keep those googly things on my eyes, otherwise i would have started hyperventilating if i saw how tight it was.

And, the machine starts making these crackling noises and i think, i like bacon, but i don't want to become the bacon.

And wrapped up in this cocoon of heat i feel like a kosher hot dog in one of those ball game stands.

The whole thing was bizarro. But i survived, i'm a wee bit pink and as long as everything feels right, and i don't become a mutant i'll probably hit it again before i go to florida for that con.

That is....if i go.

So, what about you out there? I know Rojo goes to a tanning place, anyone else? Any bad stories? Any weird first experiences like mine?
 
Last edited:
Have never been to one. I would love to hear if anyone has.

In all honesty, as long as i can do this (i will admit, i took a xanax before i left the house), i probably SHOULD do it this way as i do need the Vit D.

And the woman told me these things do supply some. Unless she was pulling my leg which is entirely possible!
 
Don't tanning beds expose you to the nasty uv rays? I'd think spray tan places would be safer.

I'm also white. Well, more pink. Like a raw turkey. My brothers in law call my legs "light sabers." And I'm also on vitamin D. I'm supposed to stay out of the sun. Dad had 3 kinds of skin cancer and he wasn't as fair as me.
 
^ hahahaha LIGHT SABERS!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure you're right about the UVs. But i really don't plan on making this a career. I just need a little self esteem boost for this trip (if i go).

And i hadn't even thought about a spray tan. I should probably look into that. Although they make me think of those Toddler Beauty pagent shows! :lol:

Sorry about your dad too.:(
 
I challenge you for title of whitest person ever. I really AM shockingly white. But I also have three new scars from a tumor and two potential skin cancers being cut off or out (f**king OW!). I'm anemic--and a strawberry blonde, and my mom almost lost her leg to skin cancer back in the 70s (yes, that can happen). I am now not allowed in the sun for more than 20 minutes a day and I always have sun block--my dermatologist came over to me, said "Open your purse" and dumped in an entire paper bag of mini-bottles of free sunblock---SPF 85. Yes, 85. She informed me that there was no such thing as a "healthy tan" unless you were born tan to begin with.

Don't go to tanning booths. If you're pale, you're meant to be pale. Go for a spray tan.
 
propita said:
Don't tanning beds expose you to the nasty uv rays? I'd think spray tan places would be safer.

I'm also white. Well, more pink. Like a raw turkey. My brothers in law call my legs "light sabers." And I'm also on vitamin D. I'm supposed to stay out of the sun. Dad had 3 kinds of skin cancer and he wasn't as fair as me.
Click to expand...
Tanning beds are no more dangerous than natural sunlight as long as you use them responsibly and in moderation. I use them from time to time, especially in the winter, to combat seasonal depression. It stimulates the production of dopamine, much like the sun does. It keeps my skin healthy and fights my psoriasis, which tends to get a lot more out of control during the dry winter months.

Everything in moderation. Unfortunately, some people are simply more prone to skin cancer than others, and that is something to be aware of. There is a nearly complete absense of any kind of cancer in my entire family.
 
auntiehill said:
I challenge you for title of whitest person ever. I really AM shockingly white. But I also have three new scars from a tumor and two potential skin cancers being cut off or out (f**king OW!). I'm anemic--and a strawberry blonde, and my mom almost lost her leg to skin cancer back in the 70s (yes, that can happen). I am now not allowed in the sun for more than 20 minutes a day and I always have sun block--my dermatologist came over to me, said "Open your purse" and dumped in an entire paper bag of mini-bottles of free sunblock---SPF 85. Yes, 85. She informed me that there was no such thing as a "healthy tan" unless you were born tan to begin with.

Don't go to tanning booths. If you're pale, you're meant to be pale. Go for a spray tan.
Click to expand...

I COMPLETELY AGREE.

Yeoman Randi embrace your paleness! Go goth or something!
 
My brother in law has Stage Four melanoma...so I find the idea of tanning beds, or just regular tanning, to be horrid.
 
Yeoman Randi said:
M'kay, so to start off so you get the idea, i am the whitest person in America. There is no exaggeration to this fact. My son actually held the title until last weekend when he went to the shore on vacation and didnt apply lotion. Now he's a lobster.

But i digress.

So, I'm very white. I actually have to take Vit. D suppliments because i hate the heat and well, i just hate being outside. I have become quite the hermit.

Digressing again.

Anyway, i have this convention thing i am supposed to go to in Florida at the end of the month. I have the ticket, have the plane ticket and don't want to go. There are people there that i no longer care to see, but will end up bumping into.

Digressing again.

So, in a feeble attempt at boosting my self esteem, i went to a tanning salon today. It was half off day, woohoo! Cost $4.50. Of course i didn't think ahead and didn't bring any suntan lotion. Not that i have any since i don't go outside...

Digressing....

So with the packet of lotion ($2) and a loaned pair of those weird eye goggles (straight out of science fiction) i am shown into the tanning room.

Sweet zombie jesus. We are talking a photon torpedo looking thing. Like what K'ehleyr was transported in. I get undressed as quickly as possible b/c i am told i have five minutes to do so and get the lotion on and into the bed before it starts. (God forbid i should miss a minute that i've paid for)

Holy fuck. It was the weirdest experience. First of all, i thought you had to turn over in these things. Nuh uh. There's lights on the top AND the bottom. And it is HOT in there, even though there is a fan running.

Thank god i had to keep those googly things on my eyes, otherwise i would have started hyperventilating if i saw how tight it was.

And, the machine starts making these crackling noises and i think, i like bacon, but i don't want to become the bacon.

And wrapped up in this cocoon of heat i feel like a kosher hot dog in one of those ball game stands.

The whole thing was bizarro. But i survived, i'm a wee bit pink and as long as everything feels right, and i don't become a mutant i'll probably hit it again before i go to florida for that con.

That is....if i go.

So, what about you out there? I know Rojo goes to a tanning place, anyone else? Any bad stories? Any weird first experiences like mine?
Click to expand...

:guffaw:

This is hilarious...I've been tanning since 1998...my only real worry was that my ass would be burned, but burning isn't very common in tanning beds. Back then the beds were kind of cramped for guys, but these days they're much roomier, and almost too relaxing to be in. I've never heard crackling noises before! I never use anything with SPF, and I use a tanning accelerator. I just hate being pale.

Beds:

http://www.islandsuntans.com/beds-booths.html

RAMA
 
I would never go in for something like this. I simply don't care if my skin is tan or not. The risk of skin cancer far outweighs any cosmetic 'improvements' that I might get from being tan. Assuming I even CAN get a tan, which is very unlikely. I would burn before I tanned.

In the end, what's the point? Why should I bother tanning? What does it get me? Nothing, as far as I can tell.
 
Neat. So do I.

It's not the only benefit. Again, if you're getting enough sunlight, you don't need to tan, but some of us spend the entire day indoors. I view tanning as a health supplement more than anything. It makes all the difference for me in the winter. I used to suffer from really bad depression in the winter until I started tanning.
 
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