Contest: ENTER Movies Caption Contest #263: Severe Damage

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies I-X' started by LeadHead, Feb 13, 2017.

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  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Normandy SR-2
    Hello and welcome to this long long long awaited contest!

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    First up to the plate, we have the "Augmented Puns" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

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    Khan: Right then.... EAR we go.

    *Awkward Silence*

    Khan: Oh screw the lot of you.



    Next, we have the "Soap Opera OF THE FUTURE!!!!" Award going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:

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    Will Picard ever escape from the Borg Collective? Does he even want to anymore? Find out next week, on As The Cube Turns...


    Next, we have the "Ruined Party" Award going to Triskelion for:

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    Remans: SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!
    Shinzon: I baked you a five-layer cake with rainbow swirl frosting! Crap, I dropped it! FOR THE LOVE OF - TURN ON A FRIKKING LIGHT, VICEROY!

    Our Photoshop Award goes to tharpdevenport for:

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    Picard: "Explain, Data."

    Data: "I believe we are looking at Gozer the Gozerian. AKA: Gozer the Destructor, Gozer the Traveler, Volguus Zildrohar and Lord of the Sebouillia."

    Gozer: "Are you a God?"

    Picard: "Picard to Enterprise, beam Wesley down immediately!"


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    The Award goes to Smellincoffee for:

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    Chekov: Khan, you bloodsucker!
    Khan, mildly: No, that's the worm.


    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    Also, thanks for your patience, I've had less and less captioning time recently. I'm trying to be better about turning over this contest, but obviously I have yet to be successful. I aim to have this contest be about a month long. Rather than making a promise I don't know if I can keep, lets just see what happens.

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Normandy SR-2
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    Picard: Yes, I do notice the damage, Number One.

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    Kirk: Oh, no! They hit the box of TNT I keep on the bridge!

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    Worf: O'Brien! This console doesn't do anything!
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Ghost of Tom Joad Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Everywhere
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    PICARD: Yeah, I'm not paying for that.
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Ghost of Tom Joad Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Everywhere
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    KIRK: Damn it, Bones. Lay off the bourbon and beans!
     
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  5. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    Rats. If the timing gets more frequent I'll lose several really good opportunities to make fun of the delays.
     
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  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Talking amongst myself.
    T4TW Leadhead!
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    Riker: You just dropped the frikking Kurlan Naiskos to the deck like it wasn't the last complete relic of a dead civilization and last gift from your mentor before he was murdered.
    Picard: I used to be all about earth tones, too. But now I'm like - fuck earth tones.
    Riker: Nice speech.

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    Kirk: Who put a Pop Tart in the Hot Pocket slot?!
    Spock: Most illogical, Lieutenant Saavik.
    Sulu: Told you Hot Spock-tarts were a dumb idea.

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    Tactical: Bogies coming in!
    Worf: Just let me put in this final piece! What the - Spock with bunny ears?? THIS PUZZLE HAS NO HONOR!!!
    <ship explodes>
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2017
  7. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Ensign: "Captain, we're almost within firing range."

    Worf: "Very well, ensign. This tactical meanuever will require intricate last-second piloting done manually starting ... what the fuck? Why did the screen just go white and why is there a grey sicrcle with a grey exclamation mark in it?"

    Ensign: "Captain, systems indicate Adobe needs to be updated."

    Worf: "But it was working just fine with the old version a minute ago. Adobe is without honor!"
     
  8. Ithekro

    Ithekro Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    Republic of California
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    Picard: Just how did you manage to crash the ship like this?

    Riker: Part of Starfleet Protocol, sir. This is why captains are not allowed to go on away missions anymore.

    Picard: I didn't even know we had one of those. Good thing I wasn't here when it fell.


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    Admiral's Personal Log: We need to change the uniforms for these training simulators again. Red shirts and brown pants.

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    Ensign (os): Try the other console, sir. That's Captain Sisko's symmetry console. The other one is the functional unit. He said something about the flow of the prophets wasn't good without it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2017
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Ghost of Tom Joad Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
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    WORF: I've set auto destruct. Beam me aboard the Enterprise!
    BASHER: Don't you mean "us"?
    WORF: Nope. Next Gen only suckers.
     
  10. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
    Location:
    Mississauga
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    Picard: "Will, when was the last time you cleaned your quarters?"
    Riker: "I'll do it tomorrow."
    Picard: "That's what you said last time."

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    Kirk: "How's that for a flamboyant entrance? HA!"
    Sulu: "Remember the good old days when announcing "captain on the bridge" was good enough?"
    Saavik: "Do not complain. I have been tasked with choosing his "walk-up music"."

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    Worf finally finds his long-lost hamster in the darkened ship. Embarrassed at what his crew and fellow Klingons might say, he releases it back into a conduit, never to be seen again.
     
  11. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    TFTW LH!

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    Picard: Well, the first question is obvious...

    Will, why are you clearly wearing a uniform made for a much smaller man?


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    Sulu: Even in a crisis I can manspread like no other.


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    Worf: Why is it every ship I serve on these days has a problem with its light bulbs? The Enterprise D would still he here if all her's hadn't gone at once.
     
  12. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
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    Riker: Kirk told you to set this course using 'Priceline'?
     
  13. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Austin! Austin! Austin!
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    Captain's Log:...Merde..... Wesley was going to visit this week, but I ordered us to leave starbase early, before Wesley reached the gate because I had a headache. He would have saved the Enterprise.
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Ghost of Tom Joad Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Everywhere
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    PICARD : They're giving us a new ship, but we have to assemble it ourselves.
     
  15. publiusr

    publiusr Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
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    This is why you don't put meth-labs in space.
     
  16. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
    Location:
    Mississauga
    Picard: "Will, I've got good news and bad news..."

    Riker: "What's the good news?"

    Picard: "You've been in Starfleet how long, Will? That was the good news. "
     
  17. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Picard: No... you can't even have my chair now

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    Sulu: Here we go with this again. Geez I need my own ship

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    Worf: If this computer makes me log my password ONE MORE TIME!!!!
     
  18. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Mississauga
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    Picard: "Will, I'm sorry. I know we have a rather lenient companion animal policy on the Enterprise, but your Tasmanian devil will have to go."
     
  19. Hutchy01

    Hutchy01 Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Location:
    Inside the Wastelands of my mind!
    Riker: That's not my wild furry thing that the crew are talking about.
     
  20. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Mississauga
    [​IMG]
    Kirk: "'I can't find a door, so I'll make one instead.' Ha! See what I did there? By the way, Bones, you'll thank me for doing this again someday."
    McCoy: ...
    Kirk: "Can't tell you any more. Temporal Prime Directive, you know."
    McCoy: "Oh, right. Because you're such a stickler for not violating the other Prime Directive..."
    Saavik: "What is the Temporal Prime Directive?"
    Kirk: "Crud."
    Spock: "I find it ironic that by attempting to protect from an abuse of a law that does not exist yet, you have only violated it further."
     
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