Movie Caption Contest #215: The Search for the Director

[LeadHead]

Hello Everyone! Thanks for bearing with me while i establish the new schedule on the Movies Contest, it will be an every other week contest. Just FYI, the weekends of May are quite busy for me, so I could possibly be a day or two late for a bit. I'll do my best to be punctual!

First up to the plate, we have the "So they did start this in the Prime Universe!" Award, going to:

McCoy: Let's listen to last night's recording and find out who was in sick bay after hours.

Uhura: (Recording) Shake it, baby. I love it when you do that, Spock....

Next, we have the "Human Resources Augment Needed" Award, going to:

Khan: Listen to me... I'm about to get my revenge on my old nemesis. I can't deal with this right now. We'll talk about your quarters after I've killed Kirk, OK?

Next, we have the "Macrowave" Award, going to:

Saavik: You had it set to defrost sir, your meal's only half heated.

Next, we have the "Yeah, there's no way this can ever end badly" Award, going to:

Khan: "Why are we slowing?"

Joachim: "The light is yellow."

Khan: "You fool, yellow means to floor it."

Joachim: "Your's truly is the superior intellect."

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

KHAN: What's he doing?

JOACHIM: He's lowering our shields!

KHAN: Can he do that?

JOACHIM: It's in the script

KHAN: Curses, foiled by a lame plot device.

Bones: Careful Jim, I hear she's got Shelley Long locked in there!

Kirk: So that's how she got the job.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners! Lets continue the Trek Trilogy!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: You're Stealing the Enterprise?!

Kirk: Yeah, but they left the keys in it.

Worst Camping Trip Ever.

Kirk: What's that?

Sulu: Space. Duh.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "I intend to take the Enterprise without incident, waltz through the space doors, and outrun Excelsior."

McCoy: "What are you, some kind of moronic force of nature?!"

Kirk: "So, I might have ah, accidentally blown up that Klingon Bird of Prey. Got kind of carried away.

...think we have time to call a cab?"

Chekov: "Genesis!"

McCoy: "Genesis!"

Kirk: "Genesis!"

Sulu: "It's only a matte painting..."

Kirk: "Shh!"

 

[Kirby]

McCoy: You're stealing the Enterprise?

Kirk: No. I lost the ticket and the valet was being a real tool about it, so I'm using my spare key.

Sulu: Oh, my!
Scotty: What is Uhura doing?
Chekov: Where are her clothes?
McCoy: Where did she get those palm fronds?
Saavik: This is not the time or place for her to be dancing. Logic dictates that she should refrain and save that for a more opportune time.

Kirk: Second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Sulu: Wait, which star are you talking about?
Kirk: That bright one.
Sulu: They're all bright, which one?
Kirk: See where I'm pointing, that one.
Sulu: You're pointing at like twenty stars right there. Would you just be a professional and give me the heading coordinates?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

While none of the landing party found Commander Kruge's 'There once was a Vulcan on Venus...' limerick particularly amusing, one found it positively insulting.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Walter Koenig: Is that..
DeForrest Kelly: It is. You'd better run, Robin.
Robin Curtis: I don't understand.
George Takei: That's Kirstie Ally.
Jimmy Doohan: Aye, and she's armed.

Kirk: Standard orbit, Mr. Sulu.
Sulu: Aye, sir. Which planet?
Kirk: ..THE planet. Earth.
Sulu: I..
Kirk: Right there! Standard orbit!
(Sulu squints.)
Kirk: ...time for you to get those glasses, Hikaru.

McCoy: The hell do you mean, you've changed your primary physician?
Kirk: Bones, as much as I value your committment to hands-on medicine, when I get a screening for prostate cancer the last thing I want is for you to insist on doing it the OLD FASHIONED WAY.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Shatner: You know, I'd swear I've met the director somewhere before.

Saavik: I've no idea why Doctor McCoy has brought an anal but plug with him. Nor do I want to know.

Kirk: Look at my sleeve, Christ what was I thinking? Lilac?

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk: Second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Sulu: Wait, which star are you talking about?
Kirk: That bright one.
Sulu: They're all bright, which one?
Kirk: See where I'm pointing, that one.
Sulu: You're pointing at like twenty stars right there. Would you just be a professional and give me the heading coordinates?

Kirk: Just like you were a professional when we left you in charge last night?

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk: "Personally, I blame our misfortunes on that star. That's the evil star".

Sulu: "With respect, sir, I have a background in astrophysics, and I don't think stars can actually have a moral alignment".

Kirk (whispering): "Evil. Star".

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: If a Romulan mining ship from the 24th Century, commanded by a man hell bent on revenge, had time traveled through a black hole I would have been born right about there.

SULU: What?????

 

[shivkala]

McCoy: He's out of his Vulcan mind!
Kirk: Never thought you'd be able to say that literally, did you Doctor?

To the crew's dismay, Kirk could not resist the urge to Instagram the moment to post on his Pinterest board once they got back to Federation Space.

Kirk: There it is again!
Sulu: There's what again, sir?
Kirk: You don't see it? He's mocking me, Sulu, he's mocking me! *whispers* Damn you Doctor, you magnificent bastard!

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: I drive a car called a Rolls Canhardly. It rolls down one hill, can hardly get up the next.

[crickets]

Chekov: Vanker.

McCoy: Where the fuck is my Jello?

Kirk: What's that?

Sulu: The main viewscreen.

 

[Methos]

Kirk: "That's no moon..."

M

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Salt Vampire returns and they've only one shaker of salt!!!!

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Uhh... That's not good when our warp core floats away like that is it?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Look, up in the sky!

 

[Maurice]

SHATNER: De, from your expression, I can tell you read my script for Star Trek V.

KIRK: No, there. See? A bad pixel?
SULU: What do I care, unless it's the yellow pixel.

 

[Kirby]

The Salt Vampire returns and they only one shaker of salt!!!!

By default Kirk blamed Saavik, but he knows, it's his own damn fault.

 

[Balrog]

McCoy: Are you just going to WALK through this plothole?
Kirk: Calm yourself, Doctor...

The cast of Star Trek had witnessed many times William Shatner chewing up the scenery. But they had NEVER seen it catch fire before...

Kirk: I spy with my little eye a bunny rabbit, a turtle, a squirrel with a top hat
Sulu: A Klingon Bird of Prey decloaking, sir! She's arming torpedoes!
Kirk: Nope, I don't see that... I see a giraffe with a long beard eating a seahorse...

 

[Mistral]

Robin Curtis: "I hope the director calls 'Cut!' soon-I've really got to pee!"