More News: Shatner Vs. Abrams

[number6]

In a report on Scifiwireportal Shatner was once again complaining about not being in the upcoming Star Trek film. Apparently Abrams never gave Shatner any money. "He only gave me his funny paper," says Shatner. "And in the middle of negotiations," Shatner added, "he broke down."

JJAbrams, on hearing these reports by Shatner had this to say following an interview, "He never gave me his number, he only gave me his situation." Later in that same statement he conceded, "but in the middle of of investigation, I broke down."

JJ also talked about his years starting out in the industry, "Out of college money spent, I saw no future, paid no rent." Of his financial woe, he also added, "All the money was gone and I had no where to go."

Shatner also reflected on the lean times before he reemerged on TV and Film, "Any job, I got the sack, Monday morning turning back. The yellow lorry was slow, nowhere to go." Shatner now looks back on his time on Star Trek with a little more nostalgia, but found it hard to find success so soon after his portrayal of Captain Kirk. "Oh that magic feeling," Shatner reminisces, "nowhere to go."

Shatner remains hopeful that Abrams may include him in a future Trek project and awaits his call. "One sweet dream," he shrugs, "Pack up the bags and get in the limousine." In words of encouragement to his fans, he sighed, "Soon we'll be away from here," he assured, "Step on the gas and wipe that tear away." Fans did hope that one sweet dream came true today.

 

[HaplessCrewman]

You never give me your money
Your only give me your paper
And in the middle of negotiations you break down
I never give you my number
I only give my situation
And in the middle of investigation I break down.
Out of college money spent
See no future pay no rent.
All the money’s gone, nowhere to go.
Any Jobber got the sack,
Monday morning turning back.
Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go.
But oh – that magic feeling nowhere to go.
One sweet dream
Pick up the bags and get in the limousine.
Soon we’ll be away from here.
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away,
One sweet dream came true today, came true today.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
All good children go to heaven.

 

[number6]

How poetic. You should put that to music, maybe some piano.

 

[Eric Cheung]

Shatner: Sexy JJ, what have you done?

JJ: You made a fool of everyone

Shatner: You broke all the rules; you laid it down for all to see

JJ: How did you know? The world was waiting just for you, the world was waiting just for you.

Shatner: Sexy JJ, you'll get yours yet! However big you think you are

JJ: However big you think you are.

Shatner: You'll get your's yet!

JJ: We gave you everything we owned just to sit at your table--just a smile would lighten everything.

Shatner: Sexy JJ, he's the latest and the greatest of them all; he made a fool of everyone...he made a fool of everyone. I'm a loser and I'm not what I appear to be.

JJ: This happened once before, when I came to your door. No reply. I tried to telephone, they said you were not home, that's a lie. I don't want to spoil the party so I'll go.

 

[gastrof]

This should all be turned into an animation adventure series, and run over a period of 13 weeks during some Saturday morning kids' programming block!

 

[ClayinCA]

This just in: there was apparently a reconciliation of sorts between the producer and the legendary actor, in which it was agreed that Shatner would film a short scene for Abrams' movie, but that due to security constraints and the desire for secrecy, the scene would be shot in the street near Shatner's home.

Shatner: Why don't we do it in the road?

Abrams: No one will be watching us - why don't we do it in the road?

 

[PKTrekGirl]

Well, that report seems pretty silly to me. No real information. Just more finger pointing.

Bottom line: JJ didn't try very hard to get Shatner. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is a matter of opinion...but it sounds to me as if he considered it briefly...and then decided it would be too much work to mess with Shatner.

 

[Eric Cheung]

The news report was a parody as all the quotes come from Abbey Road.

But in all seriousness, yes, it would have been too much work to get Shatner. There is a reasonable expectation that even if they agreed on a cameo, for a reasonable fee, the day or days he would have been on set would have been all about him if he had anything to do with it. He'd ask for shots to be redirected towards him and talking to JJ about how to set up shots and stuff. He'd be charming and stuff, at least from his point of view, but he'd also probably need dozens of takes to get his performance dialed down to something more like his performances in the movies.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Can someone take the "I... have had enough... of you!!!!!!!!!!!" scene from the end of Star Trek III and superimpose J.J.'s face over Kruge's?

 

[PKTrekGirl]

The news report was a parody as all the quotes come from Abbey Road.

Yes. I know. And were incredibly annoying and singularly un-funny.

If that guy posted that 'story' as a parody thread in here, I'd have closed it.

Nevertheless, the point remains that Abrams didn't exactly knock himself out trying to get Shatner.

But in all seriousness, yes, it would have been too much work to get Shatner. There is a reasonable expectation that even if they agreed on a cameo, for a reasonable fee, the day or days he would have been on set would have been all about him if he had anything to do with it. He'd ask for shots to be redirected towards him and talking to JJ about how to set up shots and stuff. He'd be charming and stuff, at least from his point of view, but he'd also probably need dozens of takes to get his performance dialed down to something more like his performances in the movies.

Well, I wasn't even talking about what would happen once he got to the set!

I was talking about the contract negotiations. Even just that apparently wore Abrams out!

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Nevertheless, the point remains that Abrams didn't exactly knock himself out trying to get Shatner.

One of the things that gives me hope for this movie - Abrams understands that certain things may be important, but he's capable of independent decisions about just how important.

Frankly, even if he gets some of the judgments wrong that gives me more faith in him than in some past producers who became essentially hostages to fan service.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Yes. I know. And were incredibly annoying and singularly un-funny.

If that guy posted that 'story' as a parody thread in here, I'd have closed it.

Ouch!

I'm glad PKTrekGirl's on my side (for the moment, anyway).

 

[PKTrekGirl]

Yes. I know. And were incredibly annoying and singularly un-funny.

If that guy posted that 'story' as a parody thread in here, I'd have closed it.

Ouch!

I'm glad PKTrekGirl's on my side (for the moment, anyway).

Luckily for you, you seem to grasp the difference between "clever & funny" and "lame and annoying".

But the pressure's on.

(I mean jeez...this guy didn't even TRY to tie Star Trek to the Beatles. He just made the leap for no particular reason. Not even a lead-in. Maybe you've spoiled me. You always have a good lead-in. )

 

[Eric Cheung]

Lead-in? Like a setup? I think that a fairly safe assumption was made that we knew both the situation between JJ and Shatner, specifically the recent goings on regarding a scene that was written for Shatner, and that we all knew "You never give me your money." I think most people even know the story behind the song, that it had to do with Alan Klein's negotiations with the Beatles over their money issues, and the resulting dissolution of their partnership. I thought that was the connection.

Even if no one knew any of the Beatles part of the joke, the fact that the quotes were so specific, and oddly worded, without a source cited or a link provided might clue people in. And do they say "lorry" in Canada?

Of course I speak from bias as a pretty big Beatles fan. I could certainly understand how the joke could fall flat.

 

[number6]

Wow... So much for being subtle and clever. Next time I'll just throw a pie in someone's face. You all seem to get that.

Perhaps I should have posted a fart joke instead.

 

[M'Sharak]

Wow... So much for being subtle and clever. Next time I'll just throw a pie in someone's face. You all seem to get that.

Perhaps I should have posted a fart joke instead.

I thought it was clever. I spotted the gag shortly after you first put it up, but I thought I'd let it ride without calling it and see who else made the connection.

For subtle, though, you should probably have broken up lines like "Out of college money spent, I saw no future, paid no rent." just a little bit more. As I mentioned in the other thread, that was where the light went on for me; even if you'd never heard the Beatles before, that just reads like a song lyric. "Scifiwireportal" should also have been a clue for anyone giving it a second look, but I thought it was amusing also.

Fart jokes? With cooleddie and the Caption This! contests, we've got plenty of those already.

 

[number6]

 

[Gepard]

Perhaps I should have posted a fart joke instead.

You should have put a sombrero on it.

 

[ClayinCA]

Wow... So much for being subtle and clever. Next time I'll just throw a pie in someone's face. You all seem to get that.

Perhaps I should have posted a fart joke instead.

I thought it was clever. I spotted the gag shortly after you first put it up, but I thought I'd let it ride without calling it and see who else made the connection.

I thought it was funny, too (as you can tell by my pitiful attempt to follow it). Don't feel bad, number6...we'll be off in our own corner while the plebes watch The Three Stooges.

 

[number6]