Yeah, this just ... wasn't funny, at all. There was very little content with anything resembling a humorous angle to it. I get the idea -- "Wait a minute, these aren't safety tips for kids! These aren't safety tips at all!" But the execution was terrible.
As the world's foremost expert in humor, I deem the new update to be funny. If you disagree with me, you're wrong. End of discussion.
My favorite is, "Unless your child looks like this at the end of the day, you have failed as a parent". Makes me snicker every time I see the associated picture. Maddox's style of humor is dry, ludicrous, and outright satirical. His hate mail is always a hoot to read.
Oh, I understand his style humor. I've loved almost everything he's done in the past (his iPhone writeup, in particular, was a classic). This isn't a case of people not "getting it," though. This is a case of the writeup being not particularly funny. I might accept your ideas if you didn't do things like this.
If you can think of a better way to enforce one's authority than with a bastard sword... I'd call you a liar, actually. There is no better way.