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Laura's fiction contest entries

Laura Cynthia Chambers

Vice Admiral
Admiral
Okay, unless I write something else, this is my entry for February - "Pets".

In the spirit of (if not the same meter as) Ode To Spot, I present Data's poem, "Regarding Your Name". That is, how he happened upon the perfect name for his cat.

Regarding Your Name (by Data)

Deciding how to address you was a difficult task
Ninety-eight individuals of my acquaintance were asked
Yet despite garnering a wealth of appellations
I experienced what humanoids might deem frustration

Some recalled beloved animal companions from their youth
Furred, feathered, scaled, clawed, winged, and toothed
The resulting list proved quite a menagerie
Regardless, none encapsulated your identity

Perhaps after someone whom I owed my devotion
But I had no desire for either favour or promotion
What of one with a like personality or resemblance
But that might perhaps cause unintentional offense

Countless databases searched, and not a moniker stood out
Literature, history, geography; all left me to doubt
There existed a solitary, elusive, feline descriptor
Indicative of both your appearance and nature

Eventually, upon noting my continued preoccupation
A friend suggested I engage in simple observation
What verbs come to mind upon studying such a creature?
What adjectives describe your behavior and features?

I considered your acrobatic leaps and graceful stride
The keen glimmer of intelligence evident in your eyes
Your predatory proclivities, despite a dearth of prey
The violence of the hunt replaced by the banality of play

A mewling cry interrupted all further meditation
As you settled upon my lap, I ceased all my ruminations
Deftly winding your body in successive revolutions
You closed your eyes, at rest; which prompted the solution

(Eureka! I might have echoed Archimedes then, I owe
But as I was not bathing, I elected not to do so.)
You had settled such that you appeared to be quite small
Concealing your appendages, in the likeness of a ball

Preserving thermal energy and vital organs unharmed
Yet clearly, you did not regard me with instinctual alarm
So, in honor of your insistence my lower limbs serve as your cot
And your round, somnolent, form, I christened thee, Spot
 
March/April Entry

"Music and Murder(?)"


The loud crash of thunder made Leonard jerk upwards in bed. What-huh?!He pressed the palms of both hands against the soft sheets, eyes screwed tightly shut. A bitter, minty taste filled his mouth. Did I brush my teeth last night, or is that what passes for an aftertaste? Ugh… He reached up to wipe beads of sweat off his face, only to feel tiny droplets coat the back of his hand, cooling in the early morning breeze. Where am I again? Right…Murajai. Clubbing with Jim. Where did he get off to, anyway?

McCoy slid over in the large bed until his legs dangled over the edge. As he did, the events of the evening before started to return to him. Phila Camunae I was the first planet in its system, but far enough away from the primary that it had the perfect climate; stable all year round with the occasional warmer than normal summer that attracted visitors from all over the Milky Way. Each continent specialized in offering some aspect of the tourist experience. Waciala, for instance, was known for its beautiful forests and hiking trails, while Salaquistro's blue ice caves attracted scientists and civilians alike. There was something for everyone.

McCoy, for his part, had planned to do some solo backpacking in the Jocido desert. Just me and a pocket tricorder, and a first aid kit. In case. Unfortunately, he had been overruled by the vast majority of the crew, who had opted for something a little more civilized. Can't believe Jim actually held a vote. The captain had explained by saying he didn't want everybody getting scattered all over the planet when they only had a three day stopover. Somehow, McCoy doubted that; he'd seen the way Kirk's eyes had lit up when he'd heard that She Alta was playing a live concert at Qualko's Theorem.

Five years ago, the Philaean singer had burst onto the pop music scene with a hauntingly beautiful voice and looks to match. Coal black hair, smoky hazel eyes and a china doll face that made her appear years younger than she was. To McCoy, she'd seemed like a fragile wisp that could blow away at any moment. He'd wondered if she was getting enough to eat. Somebody feed that poor girl a hamburger already…

He'd considered remaining on board the Enterprise instead, but one glare from Nurse Bartlett had changed his mind rather swiftly. That woman could make a Klingon cry. "I've checked the shift logs," she'd explained in her harsh Brooklyn accent, "and of the available off-duty time you've been allotted over the past month, you've only taken 13%."

He'd crossed his arms over his chest. "Come on, Diane. You know it's been busy around here. First, we had those interns from the University of Okur, New Toronto, visiting sickbay to learn about our triage methods, then that impromptu conference with the Thab Meera, and the radiation leak at the Beta Chi Processing Center - we needed all hands on deck." Idly, he'd begun to fiddle with an aural probe, switching it on and off until she snatched it from his hand and placed it in a bin with other items that needed sterilization or charging.

She set the bin atop a wheeled cart and beckoned an orderly to take it away, then leaned back against the biobed, leveling him with a gaze that made him feel as though he'd stolen from the cookie jar. "Leonard, you need the rest. I don't want you doing a faceplant into somebody's abdominal cavity or having a nervous breakdown at the next senior staff meeting." Her features softened briefly, only to be replaced by a firm stare. "So help me, I'll spike your morning coffee with sorimlithine myself if that's what it takes for you to cool it."

No thanks. He'd been given the potent drug once when recovering from severe phaser burns. For a week, he'd been in a daze, barely able to remember his own name. "Don't you dare," he warned her, wagging his finger in her face. "I guess I could go down there for a bit, see what's what."

"That's the spirit. You'll have a blast." Bartlett's mouth turned up at the corners ever so slightly. "I remember me and Neil went there for our honeymoon. Came back sunburned and pickled."

McCoy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Neil…was he your first husband or your second? I can never keep track."

"Third, actually." The woman's dry laugh reminded McCoy of a cheese grater. "Lost him to a Deltan accountant."

"Wow. Sorry about that."

Bartlett winced. "Don't be. It's not what you're thinking. She caught him breaking into her floor vault and put a hole through his cranium." The nurse shook her head sadly. "What a way to go." The chime of a touchscreen nearby caught her attention, and she scanned it with her eyes, then tapped the screen once with one hot pink nail polish-covered finger. "Just promise me you won't come back until you've spent at least two days there. Capisce?"

"Aye, aye, sir," McCoy mock-saluted her, standing at attention.

She waved her hand dismissively. "Enough already. There's the door. No last-minute checking on Lieutenant Tunstall's rash, either. That's what she gets for playing 'touch the unknown flower'," the nurse tsked, turning to confer with Dr. Weiss, a fair-haired radiologist who'd just transferred from Starbase 3. Husband number four, perhaps? McCoy had mused before heading for the exit.

After a quick shower, he'd changed into a pair of denim slacks and a button-down olive green cotton shirt and headed to Shuttlebay with the rest of the crew taking shore leave. The shuttle flight itself had been short and uneventful, except for a bit of turbulence, and by the time they had landed, McCoy had actually begun to convince himself that maybe this wouldn't be such a bad idea. Drinks and a show, maybe a bit of dinner afterwards, then a nice, long sleep without the possibility of double shifts or distress calls interrupting my on Earth. Or, should I say, heaven on Phila Camunae I.

From the landing port, it was only a two minute walk to Murajai's downtown. Jim, looking decidedly uncaptain-like in a pair of canvas shorts, a red and brown striped polo shirt, and sandals, had talked of nothing else but the She Alta concert, which, ironically, he'd managed to snag two VIP tickets to by virtue of his status as a Starfleet captain. "…but I think her best song is definitely, 'Zero'. Most of her fans prefer 'Can I Come', and that's awesome, too, but 'Zero' has a better music video." He'd stepped in front of McCoy, positioning the fingers of both hands in a square shape, defining the borders of an imaginary display screen. "See, she's standing against this black background under a black light, and all of a sudden these white and orange glittery things begin to fall from the sky-"

McCoy had pushed down on Kirk's arm with one hand. "Come on, Jim, you're blocking traffic." As if to make his point, two Philaeans ducked around on their left side, their hips almost kissing the stucco wall of a café as they brushed by the two officers. "Yeah, I know, she's unreal. You've only mentioned that like, what, four hundred and twenty-two times already?" He moved down the sidewalk briskly, Kirk following close behind.

"Not even close. Try 47." The captain stopped to check his teeth in the window glass. "According to Curry."

Leonard smiled. "Still trying to drag Howard out of the stone age, musically speaking?"

Kirk rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "Kicking and screaming. But he won't bite." He slung one arm over McCoy's shoulder. "Now, you, on the other hand…"

McCoy frowned. "Me what?" Before Jim could elaborate, he held up one finger to shush him. "Aw, Jim, now look, I'm as progressive as the next guy, but I draw the line at Philaean pop. Can't make heads or tails of all that noise." Besides, I have a sneaking suspicion you're interested in more than her music…

Kirk rolled his eyes. "That 'noise' won her the Jybeca Award for best female artist three years running. Not to mention that her music has been used in holoprogram soundtracks from here to Ree Major. She's legit, Bones." They stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the signal to change. "The real deal. You'll never get another chance like this again."

Blue became orange, and they stepped off the curb, passing in front of several ground vehicles. "As I recall, that's exactly what I said when I invited you and Carol to that Kereb concert on Mazulis."

Kirk made a face. "And what was that? Three guys beating coconut shells ."

"It was tribal, Jim. Songs inspired by the dances of the Kerebi healers." McCoy smacked his forehead with one hand. "Oh, I forgot, you slept through xenoanthropology."

"I slept through xenopaleontology. Xenoanthro, I spent trying to figure out the drag coefficient that would enable me to land a paper plane in Cadet Selwyn's beehive." Kirk drew his hand back and forth twice before miming that very action.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "How mature of you."

They had continued on in much this same manner past the various shops and restaurants before boarding a light rail car for the entertainment district. It was only after they disembarked two doors down from Qualko's Theorem that McCoy realized, like it or not, he was going to be attending the She Alta concert after all.

Kirk pumped a fist up in the air. "You are not going to be sorry, Bones." He grinned. "Come on, wipe that nasty look off your face. I need a wingman, not the boogeyman," he added, stretching his arms out in front of him and walking stiffly, his face contorted like some creature that lurked under the bed.

McCoy puffed out a breath of air. "No, what you need is a chaperone. I can't believe you talked me into this. My ears will be bleeding for hours." They bypassed the line and headed for the back door, which was guarded by a shrimp of a guy who looked more like a librarian than a bouncer. Kirk whipped out their passes and the guard scanned them with a stylus-like device, then disabled the door's force field and allowed them to pass. "So just where is the VIP section, anyway?"

"Up front." Sure enough, a partitioned area sat directly before a raised platform. A quiet murmur ran through the small crowd that had already gathered inside the club's main room while the musicians and sound and lighting technicians set up onstage. Kirk waved their passes under a reader and a waist-high gate let them through. "Just sit anywhere."

Anywhere? How about the chair in my office? But he'd remained silent as they'd settled into their seats and waited for the show to begin, turning in his chair to gaze out at the crowd. A few faces he recognized from the Enterprise, including an in the last stages of Huthonian flu Pavel Chekov, who was trying not to cough on his companion, Engineering Technician Lethib, a pretty Andorian female who dwarfed the navigator by a good five inches. I oughta give him hell for leaving his sickbed early, but a) he's not contagious, and b), the chances of me being able to take him to task in this crowd are slim to none.

A well-placed jab in his right shoulder from Kirk turned his attention back to the stage just as the opening strains of music began to play. She Alta sat on a high, round stool in the center of the musicians, eyes ringed with kohl. To McCoy's surprise, the first song of her set, 'Maybe', wasn't half-bad. From what he could make out, it spoke of the possibility of love arising between two very different people. Okay, not the most original of themes, but still… Kirk sat spellbound as she dropped to one knee and waved her hand over the audience, daring them to believe that "maybe tomorrow we'll find a way". Her fingers brushed the top of McCoy's head, mussing his hair slightly. As she pulled her hand away, a soft tinkling sound drew his eye towards a small charm bracelet. Unique among the silver charms was a teardrop-shaped jade crystal.

Kirk gaped at him, mouth hanging open. "Oh. Wow. She. Just. ."

"Big. ." Even as he said it, however, Leonard felt a tingling in his scalp. What the deuce?

"Can I?…" The captain lifted his hand, lowering it towards McCoy's head, who swatted it away. "Hey."

"Concert. Shh." But McCoy barely noticed the rest of the music; his gaze remained fixed upon the lithe singer as she perched once more upon her seat. She really is unreal…

Head in his hands, Leonard realized for the first time that his skull was pounding in rhythm with the thunder. He rubbed his eyes and blinked several times. You're on break, Leonard. No duty shift. Back to bed with you. Sliding back under the sheets, he grabbed the edge and pulled it up to his chest. Never mind the windows or the rain. I could use some cool air. Punching his pillow with one hand, he rolled over.

And stared straight into the blank, unseeing eyes of a newly familiar face.

What the hell?!

She Alta lay supine, head lolling against the pillow. Her face, scrubbed of the thick makeup she'd worn at the concert, was deathly pale, a flush of blue coloring her waxy cheeks. In the dim light of early morning, she looked more childlike than ever, perhaps aided by the single braid that dangled down her left side like an ebony rope. McCoy scrambled across the mattress and pressed two fingers to her slender throat. No pulse. Looking closer, he realized it was bent at a slight angle. Broken.Damn. Wait…how the heck did she get here?

A chime from the door made his head snap up as it slid open with a swish. Five security officers burst through the hotel room door, weapons drawn, barking at the doctor in Philaean.

Leonard's hands shot up in the air. His heart raced with fear. This is not good."I-no. I just found her. I didn't-" He backed up quickly, his knees sliding across the bed until he slid off the edge and onto the floor, barking one shin against the bed frame. "I didn't kill her!" I can top that; I don't even know why she's here!

Either not versed in Federation standard or not particularly caring, the guards darted around the bed and hauled McCoy up onto his feet roughly. He considered struggling, but one look at their weapons knocked all the fight out of him. Try anything funny and there'll be a crater where my head used to be…

He let them escort him out of the room, never once looking back at the disarray, even though it might have given him clues to the events of the evening. As they headed down the hall, several sleepy hotel customers peered out their doors, giving him looks that ranged from mild interest in what was going on to annoyance with having been woken up by the clamor of his arrest. Yeah, go ahead, stare at me. Like this is the first time police have ever been here…

An elevator took them to the tastefully furnished lobby, which was guarded by more officers, some of whom were setting up a force field perimeter to prevent onlookers from crowding the scene. What looked to be several members of the planet's media were clustered outside, shouting questions to the officers at the door. One of them leaned forward and aimed a small image capture device towards McCoy. Instinctively, he ducked his head to avoid being photographed. He pressed his lips together as bile rose in his throat. No. Not here. Not now.

The officers exchanged words briefly and led him through two rooms to a small back door that opened out into an alley. A small flight-capable police vehicle waited there, and McCoy was pressed against the car's window and cuffed, then pushed into the back seat, which smelled vaguely of stale baked goods. I will not barf…

Throughout the ride, his thoughts once more turned to his fellow crew mates. He bumped his hip against the side of the cruiser, but heard only the sound of flesh striking metal. No communicator. I must've lost it. Why can I never find that thing when I need it?

After being booked and processed at a small law enforcement station, McCoy was placed in a holding cell pending a hearing. At least, he was fairly certain that was what awaited him; nobody had given him a translator. His clothes had been confiscated (mercifully, they had allowed him to change in a washroom stall); he now wore a pale gray one-piece jumpsuit that closed with something akin to Velcro. In lieu of socks, the prison garb had feet coverings. If I wasn't facing a murder rap, I'd laugh. I haven't worn footies since I was six…

He had paced the length and breadth of the cell about eleven times, his covered feet scuffing along the floor. The air was cold, yet oddly humid and smelled metallic. Like bloodno, don't think about that. Despite the cell's apparent relative cleanliness, he was loath to touch anything. God only knows how the last occupant treated this place…

Tired of pacing, he slumped down onto a recessed bench in the wall and began to make plans for when he returned to the Enterprise. First, a nice hot bath; second, a cocktail of prophylactic antibiotics; third, something to eat. Fourth, kill Jim for talking me into the whole thing.

"Bones!"

McCoy looked up from his musings and saw Jim and Nyota approaching his cell, flanked by a disinterested guard. Kirk, looking rather tired, still wore his casual clothes from the night before, along with a grey uniform jacket, the insignia clearly visible. A shadow of grief marred his was wearing her duty uniform and carried a PADD tucked under her arm. Lines of concern creased her forehead.

Leonard crossed the floor until he was standing in front of them. "Well, it's about time somebody wondered where I got to. I've been collecting mold and cobwebs while you-"

Kirk held up a hand to silence him. "While I've been searching all over the entertainment district for you until your face appeared on a TV screen in the seventeenth bar I hit, then trying to simultaneously find your exact location, determine the facts of the case against you, and contact Starfleet Command and JAG for assistance. That's what I've been doing, Bones. So don't give me that," he growled, punctuating each word with a finger jab.

McCoy held both hands up, palms facing forward. "Okay, okay. You had a rough night, too. Keep in mind I'm the one in the hoosegow."

Kirk's firm look changed to one of confusion and mild amusement. "'Hoosegow'?" They shared a weak chuckle, and even Uhura smiled. The captain turned to the guard and spoke to him briefly in Philaean. The man nodded and pressed a button on the side of the wall, causing the cell's field to develop an amber glow, and the two officers stepped inside. Seemingly satisfied that McCoy wasn't going to attack his friends, the guard ambled down the hallway back in the direction he had come.

McCoy offered them the use of the bench seat, taking up a position against the near wall. "Look, guys, whatever they told you, I didn't do it. Hell, I don't even remember leaving the venue with her, or anyone, for that matter…but look, I'm sorry, Jim. She deserved better. Justice"

"Yeah, I know." Kirk rubbed his eyes. "One in a billion."

"Which is why it's important that the real killer is found." Nyota crossed one leg over the other. "What's the last thing you do remember?"

He chewed on his lower lip, trying to recall. "She Alta was finishing the last song of her set, something about daydreams-"

"'-Is This Happening." Kirk interjected, though his gaze was directed towards a spot on the wall instead of McCoy.

"Yeah, that was it. You were asking me what I wanted to drink and I told you, a Rhuvan's Rings with a twist of lime. You went off to get it, and…" McCoy kneaded his forehead with one hand, scrunching his eyes shut briefly. "Funny, really. You weren't gone that long. I remember thinking you'd be waiting in line for ages when suddenly somebody pressed a drink into my hand." He pointed at Kirk. "Figured it was you."

Kirk shook his head. "Couldn't have been. It took me twenty minutes to reach the bar, five more to get our orders." He looked up. "What next?"

McCoy closed his eyes again. "I took a sip of the drink, and it wasn't at all what I wanted. Kind of sour, like grapefruit. I figured you'd given me your order instead and I turned to find you and switch, but when I called your name, my mouth was all dry. So I took another mouthful and tried again, but…" He swallowed hard, remembering the uncomfortable feeling. "…suddenly, I felt weak, fatigued. I called, but nothing came out. My knees buckled…and then there was a hand under my arm, supporting me. I looked back towards the person, and then…" He blinked. "Everything went black. That's it. That's all I recall."

"Somebody drugged you?" Nyota leaned forward.

"Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." McCoy pushed away from the wall. "Look, Jim, they took blood and urine samples as part of my intake processing. See if you can get them to give you any for sickbay to analyze."

"Will do." Kirk agreed. Suddenly, his features darkened. "Uh, Bones…was that the extent of their sample gathering?"

McCoy frowned. "What are you getting at? If the drug was still in my system, it'd show up-"

Kirk's gaze dropped and his cheeks flushed. "I mean, did they take anything else?"

Oh. McCoy realized instantly what Jim was asking. "They can get my DNA from my blood and match it to 'anything else'. But to my knowledge, we did not get to know each other well before her death."

"You don't know-"

"To my knowledge." McCoy snapped. "I just met the girl, Jim. She's a celebrity, she touched my hair, I felt a zing, and, so, what? Let's play house for a night?"

Kirk shrugged. "It happens, Leonard. Look, we don't know how the drug affected you. Sure, you blacked out, but isn't it true that some people can act lucid under the influence when they're actually not?"

"Yes. It's possible, Jim. Maybe I exhibited some questionable judgment, but I. Did. Not. Kill. Her."

The captain nodded. "I know, Bones. I know."

Leonard's shoulders slumped. "Did they at least tell you when my hearing is?"

Uhura reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Yes. After the young woman's autopsy. The bad news is, this being a holiday weekend, it won't be performed for two more days." She set the tablet down on the bench and looked him in the eyes. "You'll get through this, Doctor. But this might help." She tapped the PADD with one finger and it began to glow. "As you don't speak Philaean, I brought you a translator so you can communicate with the guards and the court." She handed him the tablet.

McCoy studied the screen for a moment, flicking through the various programs in the icon menu. "Menu's a little crowded for justa translator, isn't it?"

Kirk and Uhura exchanged a look, then grinned at McCoy. "I figured you had a right to know what was being said about the case," she explained. "I've managed to tie in Phila Camunae's main media feeds, as well as a direct line between here and the Enterprise."

"Thanks." A small icon caught his eye. "And the Tetris?"

Kirk raised his hand. "Guilty." He tapped his right temple, then Bones's . "Gotta keep that mind sharp, you know."

McCoy set the PADD down on the floor. "Thanks. For everything, guys, I mean it." Already, he felt better. We're going to beat this. But most importantly, somebody's going to get what they deserve. Nyota drew him into a hug, leaving her other arm open to include Kirk, who reluctantly joined their small huddle.

A moment later, she withdrew, allowing Kirk to place both hands on McCoy's shoulders and look him square in the eye. "We're going to get you out of here, Bones."

"I know." You're one heck of a friend, Jim, he finished as Kirk walked Nyota towards the cell door and pressed a button on the wall to summon the guard. All of you are.
 
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If I stay in here any longer, I'll break all the records…

Leonard tapped the arrow icons rapidly to pivot the small shape around, then pressed the middle button to drop it into position. It had been two long days since Jim and Nyota's visit, and there were only so many rounds of Tetris one could play before your eyes started to cross.

Two days of four walls and three square meals, all consisting of varying shades of green and flavors ranging from wax to turpentine. Why couldn't you have snuck me in a replicator?

Two nights of nightmares where he once again saw She Alta's pale, limp corpse, and himself bending over her, not to check for a pulse, but to strangle her to death with his bare-No! It didn't happen that way.

At times, he was tempted to feel sorry for himself, but then he thought of her. She must have family somewhere…her poor parents. They must have been devastated…and her fans, too. I bet they'd all like to kill me right about now…can't say as I blame them. A musical tone from the PADD alerted him to the fact that he'd allowed the screen to fill and thus ended the game.

He exited the screen and tapped the log record button. "Chief medical officer's log, supplemental; if I have to spend one more minute in this facility, so help me, I'll-" He paused, letting his breathing even out. "Delete entry." McCoy changed tabs and checked the news feed Nyota set up. Though he had spent most of his browsing time earlier flipping through the entertainment reports and local news for updates on his case, to no avail, he was weary of reading various other celebrities' grief-stricken reactions to the young pop star's death. The images they posted showed a free-spirited, fun-loving girl who danced to her own drumbeat.

He briefly glanced at the sports feed, then spent half an hour meandering through tourism and lifestyle articles. There was a food festival happening this weekend on Murajai's Pliaco Beach. McCoy scrolled through images posted by various individuals on social media. Some of the eats available made his mouth water. Wish I were there…

One image showed several tourists loitering on the boardwalk, enjoying the noonday sun and the cool beach breeze. A couple were taking turns wiping sauce stains off the face of a happy toddler, while an older couple sampled barbecued avian wings coated in a dark purple glaze. A small group crowded around a bearded man who was playing a woodwind instrument, hands raised in the air. Sunlight blinked off the wrist of one of the onlookers, glimmering green-

Wait a second. McCoy zoomed in on the image until the person's slender wrist filled the screen. Upon it was the very same bracelet that had tinkled as She Alta touched his head. Jewelry that had been conspicuously absent from her corpse.

A prickly feeling began at the back of his head. But that's crazy…no. She's famous; I bet everybody's got one. You could probably buy a duplicate in any souvenir store, or at her shows. Yet even as he tried to convince himself, he scrolled the image downward until the wearer's profile came into view. Her face was void of cosmetics, and her hair was done up into a messy bun, but the shape of her nose and her hazel eyes were unmistakable. That's her. But it can't be. She's dead…Or is she?

McCoy checked the time code on the image. It had only been posted twenty minutes ago. She might still be there. I know it isn't her…but I need to know for sure. He switched tabs and tapped the hotline button.

After a moment, Nyota's face appeared on the screen. "Hello, Doctor." She leaned forward. "Is something wrong?"

" not. Listen, I'm sending you an image of somebody I need you to find."

"Who?"

"The murder victim."

Nyota frowned. "Isn't she in the morgue?"

"No, I don't think she is."

***

Sweet release…

9 hours later, McCoy stepped out of the washroom, dressed in his casual attire of two days previous and carrying a folded bundle of prison clothes. As he handed it to the guard on duty, he looked down the hall and saw Kirk and Uhura approaching him. "Well, it's about time. I was starting to wonder if I'd have to hitch a ride."

Kirk chuckled. "Hey, it takes time to grease the wheels of justice. Besides, I'm a busy guy." They turned back down the corridor, McCoy following after them. Kirk stopped to hold open a door and both went through ahead of him.

They continued towards an elevator and slipped in. McCoy leaned against the wall, PADD in his hand. "Now, was I right? Nobody ever tells me anything around here except, 'eat', 'sleep', 'shut up'."

Nyota tapped the floor button and the doors shut. "Yup. It was her at the beach."

I knew it. "Really? Then who the heck was I supposed to have killed? She doesn't have a twin sister, by any chance?" They say everyone has a double, he recalled, heart lurching.

"Nope. You're going to love this, Bones." Kirk rubbed the corner of one eye. "That body you found in your bed? Not actually a body. Not even Philaean. A duplicate. A very realistic duplicate, mind you. So realistic you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference without examining it closely."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "When could I have done that? I didn't bring my medkit on shore leave, and between waking up with a corpse next to me and being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, I didn't exactly have time to perform an autopsy."

Kirk sucked in a quick breath. "Long story short, you were doped to the point of unconsciousness, taken to the hotel and put in a bed next to a fake person."

McCoy let out a long sigh and raked a hand through his hair. "But why?Why me?"

Kirk shrugged. "Dunno. Near as I can figure, a, you're an off-worlder, and b, tons of people saw her showing interest in you. Face it, you had prime suspect written all over you." He passed McCoy a granola bar. "Seems your frame-up job was all part of a plan to televise the trial for a high-profile celebrity's murder. You'd be called to the stand, of course. Music, sex, murder; the viewing public'd eat it up." He placed one hand on McCoy's shoulder. "And then, all would be revealed as the drama it actually was." The door opened and the other two stepped out. "Unfortunately for them, they picked somebody who had considerable resources at their disposal, not some poor wayfarer."

McCoy gripped the railing, seething with rage. A television drama? Are you kidding me? He felt humiliated. Used. Betrayed." ." He unwrapped the granola bar, taking a large bite to give his mouth something to chew, and joined them in the narrow hall, his footsteps pounding against the tiled floor.

"You really ought to thank She Alta, you know," Uhura continued as they walked through two more sets of doors, the police station lobby, past several officers and criminals waiting to be processed. Good luck. Another set of doors flanked by security scanners and they finally walked out into the brilliant sunshine. "If she hadn't gotten tired of being cooped up and decided to sneak out of her hotel room, you'd still be a jailbird."

McCoy squinted in the light. "Yeah, well, I guess I owe her that much." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced over Nyota's head towards Kirk. The captain shuffled along, head down, kicking at a piece of stray garbage. "Something wrong, Jim?"

Kirk looked up, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Nah, not really. It's just…well, now, with all that happened…I don't know, the magic is gone. No mystery. She kinda killed it." He let out a long sigh.

McCoy chuckled. "Aw. Poor Jim. Just be glad it's the only thing that's dead. If that stuff they gave me had been any stronger, it'd be 'lights out, Leonard.' What did they give me, anyway?" He finished the small granola bar and tossed the plain silver wrapper in a trash can. Three points. I still got it.

Kirk made a face. "Not funny. You can relax, though. According to your lab results, all you got was a mild derivative of sorimlithine. Nothing serious."

Really? Guess someone beat you to it, Diane. McCoy yawned and stretched as the cool breeze wafted the scent of blossoming espar in his direction. "I am so looking forward to a loooong nap."

"Don't go beddy-bye just yet, Bones." Kirk waved three pieces of paper in front of his face.

"Why not?" McCoy cracked his neck, feeling the tension of the last couple of days release just a little. "What are those?"

Kirk smiled and raised his arms over his head in a pose reminiscent of some martial arts move. "Three tickets to Varpaneah."

"Vaharpa-what sit?" McCoy cocked his head sideways. "Is it catching?" He covered his mouth and nose with one hand.

"Varpaneah," Kirk corrected, his voice raising an octave. "I can't believe you've never heard of it. It's this totally awesome light and fight show. The stage has this antigravity generator and-"

McCoy held up one hand. "Oh not. I just avoided a disaster, and now you want to drag me-"

"-Kidding. They're our passenger shuttle tickets." Kirk handed Nyota her ticket, stuck one in McCoy's shirt pocket and kept one for himself. "Even I wouldn't do that to you after what just happened."

McCoy punched Kirk in the arm. "Oh, yes, you would." He passed Kirk the PADD. "By the way, guess who has the new high score?"

Jim shook his head and groaned. "I knew I should've given you 'Operation' instead."

"What good would that do?" McCoy put his hands on his hips. "I can't remember the last time I performed a funny bone-ectomy," he continued sarcastically.

"Exactly. It'd have been good practice. Besides, I thought you had yours removed years ago." They came to the edge of the street just as a bus pulled up and boarded the vehicle.

"If you two keep bickering like that, I'm going to ask you to remove my eardrums," Uhura muttered, flashing her bus pass in front of the reader and moving to a window seat facing sideways.

Kirk did likewise and sat down on the seat across from her, crossing his arms over his chest. "Wouldn't that make your job rather difficult?"

"Worth it," McCoy and Uhura replied simultaneously. McCoy patted his pockets before locating his pass and scanning it. As he took a position in the aisle next to a pole, he could hear Uhura bickering with Kirk unashamedly, for all the world like he was her bratty brother instead of her captain. He closed his eyes and smiled. Wouldn't trade these guys for anything…
 
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Okay, since I'm unlikely to write anything else in time, here's my July/August entry, written a while ago (part of my "Contemplative Silence" series). It's about a competition, a kind of contest.

"The Bet"

"T'Sel has elevated this craft to an art form. Notice her calm, shallow respirations, the poetry of her inscrutable expression. Makanna, on the other hand, appears to be wavering in her attempt at matching the veteran silence for silence."

"I concur, Keval. She appears to be suffering from some form of distress. Her brow is furrowed ever so slightly. Let us examine a visual replay of the moment…"

McCoy leaned on one hand as his elbow rested on the couch arm, blinking slowly at the scene on the television screen. Several shots of Makanna's forehead creasing was replayed side by side next to T'Sel's complete indifference. He yawned, covering his mouth with the other hand. "Well, come on. It's been…" Leaning forward, he studied the silence time counter on the screen. "4 hours, 26 minutes, and…25, 26 seconds and counting. A bit of discomfort is to be expected when you play freeze tag for that long. Kinda wish one of the refs would come over and shout, "olly olly oxen free," put her out of her misery." He picked up a glass bottle of ginger ale from the table and took a drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Spock squeezed the couch cushion slightly. "Both T'Sel and Makanna have been training intensively for the event and others like it, Doctor. To experience problems this early on during a competition is usually a marker of inexperience, infirmity, or lack of discipline. Given that Makanna has only been competing in the elite league for six months, I tend to lean toward the first choice. She ascended to this level in rapid succession; perhaps, as some have opined, too soon."

"Soooo…" McCoy chuckled, emptying his ginger ale bottle. "The female Vulcan competitive silence athlete answer to Jim?" He pushed himself up from the couch and headed for the replicator.

"Essentially." Spock relaxed back into his seat as the competition broke for advertisements. "I do not share this opinion where Captain Kirk is concerned, however. I suppose when one is surrounded by those who can, "pick up the slack", as it were, there is a margin for allowable personal error, to some extent."

"But you can't exactly do that for silence, can you?" McCoy tapped a couple of buttons, dematerializing his empty bottle and replacing it with a full one. "I mean, it's not like you can sit on your couch and counsel your favorite competitor on how to be more silent." He popped the top. "Want one?"

"No, thank you. Regarding your other question, no, not unless one shares a pre-existing mental bond with the competitor in question. Even then, such a move would be against the rules of solo silence."

"Solo silence?" McCoy sat down at his end of the sofa, bottle in hand. "You say that like there are other kinds." He took a drink. "Ahhhh."

"Because there are." Spock lifted one hand and began counting on his fingers. "For instance, there are partner and group competitions, wherein teams of two or more compete simultaneously. There are also relay events, in which individuals on the same team take turns being silent for a predetermined amount of time. Some competitions award points or demerits based upon one's performance, while others, such as the one we are watching, are single-failure disqualifications. One's first inability to maintain silence ends the match."

McCoy gripped his pop bottle so hard that the condensation nearly caused it to slip out of his hands. "You Vulcans have way too much time on your hands, you know that?"

Spock held one finger to his lips and pointed to the screen. "Shh. The broadcast has returned."

McCoy looked back over at the screen. The two competitors didn't appear to have moved once since the break.

"We have returned to the Arena of Slokk for this, one of many elimination matches taking place today," one of the announcers intoned. "As always, anything can occur in these early rounds. We have already witnessed several shocking outcomes in the past week, such as Deran's thrilling upset of last year's champion, Bevek, and Pauron's disqualification upon being found to have utilized performance enhancing substances during the qualifying rounds."

"Somebody actually cheated?" McCoy put his hand over his heart. "I thought you guys were too saintly for that sort of thing."

Spock narrowed his eyes. "As you are well aware, Leonard, in any such contest of skill, there are always those who resort to…dishonest measures in their quest for victory." He sighed. "The fact that these competitors are Vulcan in no way precludes the possibility of such actions, although it does not happen as frequently as it once did in your Olympic games."

"Well, yeah, but…" McCoy set down the bottle and played with the cap, snapping it. "'Performance enhancing substances'? What'd he do, take a sleeping pill?"

"…displays the calm that has made her a legend in her home colony on Caspel II. She has not moved since the opening gong sounded…" A close-up of T'Sel's face showed it to be frozen like a mask, not a hint of emotion displayed thereon.

"Somebody oughta poke her, see if she snores," McCoy joked.

"All competitors have worn an EEG monitor ever since Rakinik lost the crown in 2198 after falling asleep. His lapse in consciousness was not discovered until his opponent forfeited the match, nine hours later."

"Bored, was he?"

"No. At the time of the competition, he was well into his 19th decade. It was only to be expected."

McCoy dropped backwards in his seat, tossing the bottle cap sideways. It landed on the floor with a ringing sound, then rolled on its edge towards the door. "Soooo…care to make a friendly little…wager on the outcome of this event?"

Spock did not look up. "Gamble, Doctor?"

"If you wanna call it that." McCoy interlaced his fingers and flexed his hands. "Okay, I'm a sucker for long shots, so here's the deal. If Makanna wins, you gotta take a week off from this silence malarkey. No TV show, no video games, no novels, nothing. Zilch. You quit it, cold turkey."

"I fail to see the relevance of refrigerated poultry-"

"Never mind." McCoy silenced him with a raised index finger. "If, on the other hand, T'Sel takes this one, I will participate fully and willingly in any silence activity you name. Deal?" He extended his hand towards the Vulcan.

Spock studied McCoy's hand. "I know you, Doctor. You would not make such an offer if you believed the final result would be in my favor. Why do you believe Makanna will prevail?"

"Well, for starters, she's young, so she probably has a lot more stamina; she's also likely a student of the latest training techniques and strategic maneuvers…" McCoy shook his head. "I can't even believe we're even having this conversation. So, are you in or out?"

Spock thought for a moment. "I am willing to triumph," he finally said, shaking McCoy's hand, "although I do feel as though I am taking advantage of your unfamiliarity with the sport."

McCoy laughed. "You don't seem very sure of yourself. 'I am willing to triumph'," he repeated sarcastically. "You just want me to shut up, don't you?"

"To quote an old Earth expression, I plead the fifth." Spock returned his attention to the screen.

"Of course you do." McCoy drew his legs up and sat tailor-style on the corner of the couch. "Your turn. What's T'Sel got that her opponent lacks?"

"There is something to be said for the time-honored methods, however many advances may be made in the field of silentics. T'Sel trained with the masters of R'Fiera for many years. Makanna, on the other hand, is primarily self-taught. As I am sure you are aware, one cannot gain knowledge exclusively from books."

"True." McCoy took another drink of ginger ale. "Some of the most effective remedies I've seen on the planets we've visited are stored right up here," he noted, tapping his forehead with one finger, "passed down through the ages, from parent to child." He fisted his hands and pumped them up and down. "Come on, Makanna! Think silence!"

" As you have previously stated, Doctor, there is no benefit to encouraging someone who can neither hear you, nor be aware of your existence or support. Moreover, it is both ironic and illogical to cheer on a silence athlete."

"Sorry." McCoy zipped his lips. "Go Makanna!" he mouthed, cupping his hands around his mouth.

Spock shook his head.

McCoy rolled his eyes, then glanced at the screen, grinning. "Better get ready for a week of color and sound, Spock. I think I just saw T'Sel's lower lip twitch."

Spock frowned, not looking at McCoy. "I noticed nothing."

"Of course you didn't." McCoy's eyes crinkled. "Keep watching. Maybe she'll do it again." He pointed at the woman's face on the screen. "See? Right there!"

"It was not a twitch, Leonard. Somebody disturbed the camera. That is all." Spock's frown deepened.

"Sure. You keep telling yourself that." McCoy folded his arms behind his head and relaxed, closing his eyes. "I'll just be over here enjoying my trium-"

A low growl sounded, followed by the gong. "What's this?" the announcer interjected. "Yes, it appears that we have our victor."

Spock's eyebrows rose. "Ah." He pointed to the screen, where Makanna, hand over her abdominal area, stepped back into the shadows, her face tinged green. T'Sel stood motionless, regarding her opponent's retreating form with a faint hint of approval.

McCoy sat up quickly. "What happened? No!"

"Indeed. T'Sel! Makanna's digestion has betrayed her at last," the announcer continued breathlessly. "And T'Sel will advance to the next round. We will return after a brief intermission."

Spock turned off the screen. "It would seem that my certainty was well founded. I have indeed triumphed, Doctor."

"Oh, come on. That doesn't count and you know it!" McCoy spread his hands apart. "Her stomach growled. She probably hadn't eaten in several hours. You can't just shut off your digestive system by flipping a switch, Vulcan or no."

"She knew the rules when she entered the competition," Spock countered, fingers tented together. "Additionally, there are fasting techniques one can employ, assuming one is familiar with ancient wisdom, like T'Sel."

"Don't rub it in. Fine. You were right and I was wrong. Bet you never thought you'd hear me say that out loud."

"Indeed I did not. Nevertheless, that does not release you from your obligation to comply with our agreed-upon terms."

"Aww…Spock…" McCoy shut his eyes and kneaded his forehead, groaning.

"As I recall, you were the one who suggested a wager, not I. One in which you promised that if you lost, you would "participate fully and willingly" in any silence activity I chose." Spock eyed him with a serious expression.

"I know, I know." McCoy waved his hand at Spock. "I only have myself and a hungry lady Vulcan to blame. Me and my big mouth. Maybe a bit of silence would do me good." He covered his face with both hands. "All right, what do I have to do? Compete in an amateur silence tournament? Binge-watch all eighteen seasons of the show? Write a silent epic poem?"

Spock shook his head. "Not in your present frame of mind. I was thinking of something less taxing. As you know, opening night for the musical is at hand. While it is too late to secure a part, I was hoping that you would attend the performance."

McCoy let out a long, deep sigh. "Can't I just write the poem instead?"
 
"It Came From Within The Locker"

Leonard McCoy popped the lid off the unlabelled vial and took a cursory sniff. The acrid scent of ammonia hit his nostrils, causing his eyes to squint shut. Ugh. Suspicion confirmed. The clear yellow liquid was definitely human urine. He shook his head in distaste. Which idiot medical tech misplaced this? For a brief second, he considered scanning the contents to determine exactly whose it was. Not now.

His hand hovered over a small crate filled with refuse before dropping the vial into a temperature-controlled cooler. It shared the container with a Petri dish filled with white mold spores, two round bottles of flammable liquid, and an assortment of various colored soil samples, all unlabelled as well. He'd forward these to the science labs and let them make heads or tails of them.

He shifted backwards on the hard floor, wincing as his lower back made contact with the edge of a shelving unit. There was little room to scooch around in the crowded compartment, but scooch Leonard did, easing himself towards a stack of PADDs in various states of repair. His hand rested upon the top one, causing its display to flicker and appear dimly. He lifted it off the stack."The Rings of Qerlestes'."He tapped the screen to scroll through the first few pages. Pausing on page 13, he read a couple of paragraphs. It was very...descriptive.

A deep red blush spread across his cheeks as he punched the off button, embarrassed. Those kinds of details belong only in an anatomy textbook. He set the PADD aside and briefly checked the others. Among them were a couple of misplaced personal logs and several drafts of the same scientific report, but most were non-functional. He loaded them into an empty crate and stood gingerly to his feet, stretching his arms towards the ceiling. His fingertips grazed the dim lighting panel, and he lowered them again, legs tingling as the blood flow returned to them. "One shelf done and.." He trailed off, staring in dismay at the jumbled mess of stuff everywhere. McCoy sighed. "...at least a dozen left to go." He rubbed his forehead and spread his hands palms upward. "Looking for something? If it hasn't been jettisoned, vaporised, or cannibalized, it'll probably be here."

"Here" was Storage Containment Compartment E7-A, or, as most crewmen referred to it, simply, "The Locker". The Locker was a repository for all things lost and found aboard the Enterprise, a veritable black hole from which nothing that wound up in its fathomless depths ever turned up again. Crewmen of all stripes both feared and respected The Locker, approaching it carefully and jamming open the continuously sticky door just long enough to deposit their finds and leave. Even Scotty wouldn't touch it, excusing his refusal with an updated version of some ridiculous seafaring superstition about things that ought not to be disturbed. Davy Jones, my foot...

A smile crossed his lips, remembering the way he'd always dismissed the rumors as nothing more than ignorant hogwash. There was nothing supernatural about The Locker; as far as he was concerned, its contents could stay a mystery forever.

That all changed two days ago.
***
Though volunteering for undesirable tasks was not generally McCoy's department, Lieutenant Harley forced the issue. The slight Canadian communications officer had come into medbay just that morning slung over the shoulder of Hendorff. He'd motioned the security officer towards a biobed, and the man had complied by lowering his cargo down gently.

McCoy studied the ruddy face of the red-headed lieutenant before dropping his gaze to the man's right knee. It was swollen to at least twice its size. He squatted by the bedside and rolled up the officer's pant leg. Harley grimaced as the doctor probed the twisted joint with his fingers, then scanned it with a medical tool, studying the image that appeared on the screen. "We can do better than that. I'll give you something for the pain and then I'll take a closer look." He motioned to a nurse, who nodded and reached for a tray. McCoy grabbed a PADD and brought up Harley's record. "You really twisted it good, Lieutenant." He turned to Hendorff just as the nurse returned with Harley's pain meds, accepting them without missing a beat. "Did you see the accident?"

The officer rubbed the back of his neck. "No, Doctor. I was heading back to the brig when I heard a cry of pain. Found him lying on his back, one foot wedged in an SCC door. Must've tripped backing out."

"Not...any door." Harley sat up and grabbed McCoy's sleeve. "The Locker. I-I'd left a bottle of Flakian da'leem in the rec room and I thought it might be there. My father gave it to me before we left on the five year mission." He groaned and tensed his leg up again. "St-stupid. I caught my f-foot in the door track and tried to- to pull it out. Didn't work. Cursed thing. And the bottle wasn't there, either."

Surprise, surprise. If anyone had found the rare pink brandy-like beverage, chances were good that they would've taken it for themselves. It was quite potent; only a few drops was enough to knock a full-grown man into a drunken stupor; a shot glass could render him unconscious. Maybe it's a good thing he lost it..."Curse it all you like, Lieutenant, if it makes you feel better." He administered the painkiller to Harley. The man's features eased as the drug began to work. "But I've had just about enough of this 'Locker' nonsense." He turned to Hendorff. "That's all, . I'm sure you've got better things to do than observe an arthroscopic imaging scan and repair procedure." The security officer had nodded and left, leaving McCoy with an injured man to tend and a growing determination to do something about it.

He and Jim had been enjoying an early lunch together when he'd first broached the subject . Citing "health and safety concerns", he informed Kirk of his intentions to "clear out SCC E7-A once and for all." The captain had promptly begun choking on his grape juice, snorting half the glass out his nose. After he'd stopped gasping, he had clapped McCoy on the shoulder and wished him the "best of luck, Bones. You'll need it".

He'd declared to all and sundry that he was boldly going where no crewman dared to stay longer than two minutes. This earned him the wide-eyed admiration of some and sober looks from others. Scotty had called him "bloody daft" and a host of other Scottish names McCoy couldn't decipher, finally promising to play the bagpipes at his funeral. Dontcha think you're being a little dramatic about this? He laughed quietly, but stopped as he saw the way the chief engineer had soberly saluted his retreating back.
***
McCoy was no fan of tight spaces, and this was no exception. The air was a musty mix of metals, dust, and chemicals. He let out a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes. I should've brought some air freshener along. Heck, there's probably a can or two underneath all this detritus. He crouched towards the second last shelf and pushed aside a coiled electrical cord, rattling a jar of bolts. His fingers touched something sticky.

He pulled his hand out and saw a thick, gooey substance. Kinda like sap. He brought his fingers to his mouth and stopped short of sticking them in his mouth. Careful. It's not your mama's refrigerator, Leonard. Instead, he wiped his hand on his pants and resolved to give the place a good scrubbing after he cleared everything out. He moved to the next shelf. Odd; it's all over this one, too. And the next. He frowned. Where is it coming from?

McCoy heard a rattling noise and caught a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned just in time to see a multicrystalline-lens defractor tumble to the floor, ejecting two of its crystals. What the... He leaned down and picked up the tool, studying it. It was easy to see how it had ended up here; besides the two loose crystal lenses, the casing was cracked, and it buzzed harshly when he pressed the switch on the side. He tapped it against the shelving unit, setting it down where it had been previously. He pulled his hand back with a start when the wall began to rattle again, knocking a box of technical components to the ground with a loud crash!

Sighing, he pounded on the door. "All right, Jim. You can quit haunting me already. Show's over." McCoy crossed his arms over his chest. It would be just like Jim Kirk to try and yank his chain a little. He bent over and gathered the loose parts into a pile. The door creaked. "I mean it, Jim. Cut it out." Leonard straightened up and approached the door, listening for Kirk's muffled laughter. Nothing. He peered through the gap, but saw only an empty room. He backed up towards the wall. "What'd you do? Put a camera in here to watch the-"Squish.

He paused, his foot pushing against a firm surface that gave with the pressure. What am I stepping on? McCoy moved his foot forward, pivoting until he was facing the wall shelving. There, in the shadows, a large, amorphous blob slowly oozed from behind a long carbon fibre rod. McCoy backed away slowly, one foot at a time, his mind ping-ponging between curiosity, confusion and dread.

As the creature moved into the light, he noticed several features of its physiology. Its yellow translucent skin allowed him a view of its internal anatomy; tiny particles passed through coiled tubules towards various small organs. A larger central organ was surrounded by a thin film. It was only after he registered the currents of the liquid inside that he realized he was looking at a single-celled organism. Some kind of giant amoeba...but how could it avoid detection for so long?...Dumb question, Leonard; this is "The Locker" we're talking about, after all...

As the organism inched forward, it pressed against the spilled technical components, sucking a bolt up into its body. McCoy watched in fascination as the little object travelled through the protoplasm towards one of the microtubules, re-emerging in tiny fragments that disseminated throughout its body. Well, that explains a lot. It would account for its size, for one thing, not to mention all the items that go missing here. Probably one of those samples that got loose. No telling how long it's been shut up inside this compartment.

Several rope-like cilia radiated out from its body, pressing against the floor as it continued to move closer, vacuuming up bits of tech silently. One of the feelers brushed against McCoy's pants hem idly. The contact seemed to stop it in its tracks for a moment. All the hairs on his right ankle stood up at attention as the cilium probed his skin. Almost like it's...tasting me. He shivered but remained otherwise frozen. A second cilium reached up to his left knee and coiled around it. As the organism's underside lifted, he noticed for the first time a round gaping opening that grew wider slowly. A mouth.A big, ugly mouth. Oh, no! I'm a doctor, not your next meal!

He tried to back away, but the creature maintained its grip. McCoy pressed one hand against the shelf to keep from losing his balance. His breathing came rapid and shallow as he shoved his hand towards his utility belt. The slot normally reserved for his comm was vacant. He shot the creature a glare. Did you eat that, too? Then he remembered; he'd taken out his comm so nobody would bother him during his lunch break. He slapped his forehead. Idiot. But really, how could you have predicted this? He surprised himself with a soft chuckle, which quickly ceased when he felt moist goo soak through his thigh.

The creature had somehow managed to crawl halfway up his body without him noticing it. "Agh!" Any hopes of reaching the door were gone; there was no getting around the amoeba. He balled his right hand into a fist and pounded on the wall of the compartment several times. "Help! Anyone! Get me out of here!" After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, he heard no one coming to his rescue. For the second time in three days, he cursed the stories surrounding The Locker. This is how I will die. I'll just be another part of the legend. Won't even find my bones...

He raised his right fist to try again, but cilia curled up his torso, trapping his shoulders and lower left arm. McCoy lost his balance, falling backwards against the shelf hard, his spine pressing against jutting boxes and exposed bolts. The back of his head throbbed where he had bopped it on the shelf's edge. His free hand twisted behind his back, fingers splayed in an open box, desperately trying to find...what? A hypospray of curare? A fully-charged hand phaser that some careless security officer "misplaced"? Heck, maybe a log recorder so I can make out my will...

His fingers closed on a slender metal tool, sliding along its length until he came to a small switch. He pressed it, and a loud buzzing noise sounded behind him as the object churned up bits of metal. The defractor.He adjusted its settings blindly and the sound grew louder and faster. Heat radiated from the device into his hand.

The amoeba opened its gaping maw once again, ready to absorb McCoy into its body. For a fleeting moment, he imagined himself being consumed, slowly but surely, until his last view of the sickly yellow colored world before him was drowned out by the searing pain of cellular enzymes breaking him down into usable nutrients. Not today, you disgusting blob of hungry goo! Here goes nothing... Moving his arm from behind his back, he jammed the defractor into the creature's underside. The churning crystals acted like a diamond drill, boring through its tough cellular membrane like a hot knife through melted butter. Protoplasm oozed out of the open wound, but McCoy wasn't through. He twisted it a couple of times, and the cilia grew limper, allowing him to free his arms. He released the defractor and rubbed his limbs to bring back the circulation; as he did, the creature sucked the broken tool into its body. McCoy barely had time to register the red warning light that blinked on its readout display.

He covered his face with both hands and braced himself, curling up into a ball. The overheating tool exploded inside the creature, blowing it apart in all directions and covering everything in the compartment, including McCoy, with protoplasm and seared pieces of organelles. Shards of the tool itself were embedded in the door, including several crystals that twinkled like tiny stars in the dim light.

Leonard let out the breath he'd been holding for ages and stood up slowly. Everything hurt, but it was a good kind of pain. The kind that let you know you were still alive. He raked his hands through his hair and removed a stringy cord, tossing it to the floor carelessly.

He whipped his head around when the doors creaked. Oh, no...there's more? Instead, he saw the broad, flat end of a crowbar jamming between them, pushing them apart. "In here!" he shouted to be heard above the noise. "I'm all right. Just get me out!"

With a loud grating noise, the door popped open, and a hand pushed it against the appeared in the doorway, his face switching from dread to relief when he saw his CMO standing in the middle of the debris, shoulders slumped, but clearly alive. "Bones!" Kirk stepped inside the compartment and placed a hand on McCoy's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Sorta."McCoy nodded slowly, wincing when the pain at the back of his head resumed. He reached up to touch it, and pulled his fingers away; they were covered with red blood.

"'Sorta'?" Kirk grinned. "C'mon, you'd never let me get away with that. You need somebody else to see to that head wound. Unless you've got eyes in the back of your head, that is." He stepped back, noticing the stains all over the walls and floor for the first time. Kirk tapped an embedded crystal with one finger. "Oooh...what happened here?"

Over the captain's shoulder, McCoy spied a couple of curious security officers hovering around the area. They were staring and pointing at the now-open door of The Locker, shaking their heads in disbelief. He sighed and put his hands on his hips. "I just killed a giant amoeba, that's what."

Kirk frowned. "Good one, Bones. No, seriously, what did happen here?"

"I just told you. Scan it if you don't believe me."

Kirk held his hands out in front of him. "No, no, I believe you. I mean, we are talking about The Locker, after all. I'm just surprised you didn't find a Gorn hiding out in here." He shifted his feet back and forth. "You didn't, did you?" He wiped a sticky hand on his pants, grimacing as he headed for the door, motioning McCoy to come with him. "Eww...does this stuff even come off?"

Suddenly, McCoy's medical training kicked in full force. "Halt, Jim."

Kirk stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Huh? I thought you'd want to get out of here as soon as possible."

"Don't leave. And give me your comm." He beckoned to Kirk, who pulled it out, frowning, but didn't extend his hand to McCoy yet. "We've got to lock this thing down. No telling what other protozoans it'd been munching on all this time." He grabbed the comm from Kirk and flipped it open.

Kirk's eyebrows popped up towards his hairline. "Aww, Bones...a quarantine? Really?"

McCoy didn't answer him; he was already in conversation with medbay, calling in a biohazard team and medical staff to see to his injuries, leaving Kirk with the task of instructing the security officers (from a distance) to guard the door.
***
The next three hours were a blur as a team of science officers took samples and thoroughly cleaned up The Locker, doing a much better job than McCoy could have done on his own. He and Kirk were both given a onceover and dosed with prophylactic meds, much to the captain's dismay; a brief shower followed. Various crew members found excuses to come around, motivated by an odd mixture of fear and curiosity. Even Scotty poked his head in once. When McCoy repeated his story through a speaker attached to the protective force field surrounding the doorway, the engineer had listened intently, finally replying with a low whistle. "That's quite the story, Doctor. Enough to give a banshee the shivers." He punctuated the last word with a shudder.

When he'd exited the room, McCoy slumped back against the open door of the compartment and watched the science officers discuss their findings in low tones. Kirk was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, reading to himself from a PADD. By the look on his face, McCoy was fairly sure that what had caught his interest wasn't scientific in nature.

One of the figures stood up from his kneeling position on the floor and reattached his tricorder to his belt. His serious Vulcan face regarded McCoy with a look that resembled disappointment.

"Why the long face, Spock?" he ventured, crossing his arms over his chest. "I wasn't that badly injured."

Spock's gaze darted over his shoulder briefly. "I am pleased to hear that. My concern is of another nature entirely." He met McCoy's gaze square on.

And then he knew. McCoy threw his hands up in the air. "Spock, are you trying to tell me you'd rather I become amoeba munchies than lose the chance to study a new species?"

One eyebrow raised. "Hardly, Doctor. I already expressed my relief at your wellbeing. It is, however, a shame that you could not preserve its life and your own."

McCoy cocked his head sideways. "Fair enough. Mind coming back and telling me that again the next time you get locked in a closet with a monster?"

The other eyebrow. "I do not plan to in the foreseeable future."

**Bonus joke** Q: How do you say goodbye to a protozoan? A: Amoebaderci.
 
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