Here are the clips of an underrated character from the Fast Show known as Johnny Nice Painter (played by Charlie Higson, with Johnny's long suffering but tolerant wife played by Arabella Weir). Johnny Nice Painter is a seemingly cheery and placid pensioner with a painting hobby that suddenly goes into violently paranoid and delusional rantings triggered by the word 'black'.
"My eyes, my eyes! ARE PIES!!!"
"My eyes, my eyes! ARE PIES!!!"