Jan Challenge-Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Mistral, Jan 12, 2009.

  1. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Dec 5, 2007
    Between the candle and the flame
    Owen Paris loosened his collar and stepped to the replicator. “Scotch, neat,” he said. Taking the drink in hand, he walked over and sat on the couch. Like all of the Ambassador-Class Vessels still in service, the stateroom was outfitted in the finest luxury. Rigellian silks, Orion-imported Reman room dividers with their intricate scenes of mining life, Risan flowers, the room lacked for nothing in terms of beauty and everything in terms of personality. Owen looked down, frowning into his Scotch. He glanced at his overnight bag and then, again, at the room. He looked at his ring finger and saw only hairs where a callous had once been. He set his drink down and walked over to the communications panel on the wall. “Computer, where is Commander Tom Paris located right now?”

    “Tommy, I have to go. Come out of your room.” Lt. Commander Owen Paris was in a hurry and he didn’t have time for his son’s tomfoolery. His overnight bag was packed and his orders were in his pocket.

    “No!” came through the closed door of little Tom Paris’s room. Owen shook his head in exasperation. He dropped his bag and walked over to his son’s door.

    “I have to go, Tommy,” Owen said. “You need to come out and give Daddy a kiss and hug.”

    “No!” Even at two and a half, Tommy Paris was a stubborn child.

    “Fine. I’m leaving. See you in two weeks, Tommy!” Owen stomped back to the door and grabbed his bag. Audrey was there waiting for him.

    “Honey, he doesn’t understand. Don’t be mad at him.” She looked up at her husband expectantly.

    “Whatever,” he said, “I don’t have time right now. I have to get to McKinley Station.”

    Audrey smiled a tight little smile. “Of course you do, dear.”

    Owen left without a glance back.

    Tommy Paris wiped the sweat from his brow. Choking up on the bat, he leaned in as the pitch flew at him. With a mighty swing, he whipped the bat into the ball. Everybody in the stands on the edge of the little field stood up as the ball flew towards the backfield fence. Tommy cleared the bases as two boys scrambled to recover the ball. They didn’t even have it to the pitcher before Tommy made home plate. A gang of seven and eight year-olds rushed out of the dug-out and jumped all over Tommy. Pulling himself out of the pile, Tommy looked up into the home team stands. He saw his mother clapping and waving. There was an open space on the bench next to her.

    Tom Paris glanced out at the surrounding crowd. He could see his mom in the left-side bleachers. He scanned the crowd, but his father was nowhere to be seen.
    Mitch Peydun clapped him on the back. “Tommy, you ready to hand North Carolina a loss? We are going to kick their asses!” Tommy smiled at the senior guard.

    “Yeah, let’s go!” He acted enthusiastic, but Tom was feeling hollow as he went out on the court. They beat North Carolina and Tom had fifteen points but Owen didn’t find out until he caught the newsfeed from Starbase Twelve.

    “My son did what?!?” Captain Owen Paris was furious.

    Byrmer, his second, looked uncomfortable. “He disobeyed orders, sir, and it led to several deaths.” The Andorian squirmed behind the padd he held. Paris paced about his ready room.

    “Fine, “he said, “Then he can suffer the consequences. I’m not going to help him out.” Byrmer slunk out of the room, afraid of Captain Paris’s rage. After he left, Paris smashed the glass on the picture of the original Endeavor with his fist. Blood trickled slowly onto the floor as Owen wondered how he’d failed so badly with his son.

    “Admiral Paris?” The ensign at his door looked so green, he could have passed for an Orion. Owen Paris glanced up from his reports outlining Starfleet’s latest expansion program.

    “What is it?” His tone was exasperated, at best.

    “We just got a report from Cerebus Station. The Voyager followed a known Maquis ship into the Badlands. Neither ship has re-appeared. It’s been over twenty-four hours and we haven’t had communication tracking on either ship.

    Admiral Paris slumped back in his chair. “Tom,” he whispered.

    “Mr. Barclay, I owe you a debt I can never repay.” Admiral Paris was ecstatic. “You gave me my son back!”

    “Well, Admiral, I was glad I could help you communicate with your son.” Barclay was nervous to a fault, but he somehow managed to stammer out his reply.

    “Communicate?” Admiral Paris looked pensive. “That’s like making a pig sing.” Barclay ventured a comment.

    “Sir?” he said. He squirmed in his seat.

    “You can try to teach a pig to sing-but it will frustrate you and annoy the pig,” said Owen. “That’s kind of how Tom and I relate and communicate.”

    “I’m sorry, Admiral,” Barclay replied. “All I did-“

    “It’s ok, Mr. Barclay,” Admiral Paris smiled at him, and his smile almost reached his eyes. “That’s between Tom and I-what you did was wonderful. Thank you.”

    Reg Barclay wasn’t quite sure how to take that and he left the room as quick as he could.

    “So this is my new daughter-in-law!” The reception for Voyager’s survivors was so top-heavy with brass that Paris would have been very low on the list if his son hadn’t been one of the crew. He grinned at the new Mrs. Paris, who stood with her daughter in her arms. Tom glanced at his dad.

    “We have to go talk to Admiral Ross. You know how it is, Dad,” Tom said. B’Elanna headed off with Tom’s arm around her.

    “Oh, of course, Tom,” Paris replied, and watched longingly as the happy couple made their way through the crowd.

    “Tom Paris is aboard the USS Phoenix.” The computer responded matter-of-factly.

    “Please connect me with him,” Admiral Paris swished his Scotch around in his glass.

    “Hey, Dad,” Tom Paris’s image was crystal clear. ”Greetings from the Gamma Quadrant!” Tom seemed enthused to see him.

    “How long do you think you’ll be in deep space, Tom? I’d like to see my granddaughter, y’know. When you coming home, son?” Owen tried to sound casual.

    “I don’t know, Dad, but we’ll get together then, Dad,” Tom smirked his winning smile at his dad,” You know, we’ll have a good time then. I gotta go-we have to run past some Videan organ hunters. I’ll talk to you soon.” His image vanished from the screen and Owen was, once again, in an impersonalized room, traveling between assignments.

    As he walked back over to the couch, he sadly realized something. Tom had grown up to be just like him. His boy was just like him.

    “Lights off,” he said. The room grew dark. He sat and drank his Scotch alone, bathed in cold starlight from the observation window.


    Here's my link.
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
  2. SLWatson

    SLWatson Captain Captain

    Oct 27, 2008
    NE Ohio
    Definitely bittersweet, especially for a parent. Hell, mine are so young yet, and I still already wish they were babies again (exhausting as they were and are!), so I can only imagine the depths Owen feels. Great work, Mistral!
  3. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 4, 2008
    Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor
    Very true to the spirit of the song indeed...and heartbreaking to think of happening to a parent.
  4. Kaziarl

    Kaziarl Commodore Commodore

    Dec 24, 2007
    Portland, OR (Kaziarl)
    Wonderful. I think this one is going to have my vote
  5. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Dec 5, 2007
    Between the candle and the flame
    TY! did I do it right? I linked lyrics-but most people know th e song, I think...so, good job?
  6. trampledamage

    trampledamage Clone Moderator

    Sep 11, 2005
    hitching a ride to Erebor
    Great story! I recognised the song from your title, so when I opened the link I was wondering who it was going to involve. Interesting to see the story of Tom from that early on.

    I would have liked to get inside Owen a bit more - see his actions from his point of view, why he couldn't connect with Tom, why he was putting duty before family. Although I know that doesn't really fit with the song, it's just my taste in stories - I like the details.

    Great ending - and I know B'Elanna won't let Tom screw up his family in the same way!
  7. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Dec 5, 2007
    Between the candle and the flame
    No, I doubt she would...
  8. CeJay

    CeJay Commodore Commodore

    Feb 5, 2006
    Great song and fascinating look at a complicated father-son relationship between Tom Paris and his daddy.

    Owen was pretty much the standard no-time-for-family, career officer as we have come to expect. The most interesting part is the twist at the end that the situation reverses itself. The question remains what kind of father Tom is going to be. Has he learned from his father's mistakes?

    I thought it was a bit disjointed which of course you did on purpose. It felt a bit jarring at times though. Maybe a few dividers would've helped.

    Great story, though.
  9. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Dec 5, 2007
    Between the candle and the flame
    I skipped the dividers to make the reader divide it where they thought it needed to be...
  10. mirandafave

    mirandafave Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Apr 26, 2008
    Another great song choice that fitted its story perfectly. congrats Mistral
  11. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

    Apr 22, 2001
    Behind Enemy Lines
    Yeah see I'm with CeJay I found it kinda distracting. As for the story itself, its good and the choice of song is inspired...But, I dunno, it just felt like it needed more substance that's all, perhaps a bit more meat on it.