It sort of bothers me when ...

[Gryffindorian]

I can't quite "read" other people--their motives, their body language, their thoughts or feelings. I feel like a Betazoid with no telepathic or empathic abilities.

I've mentioned before that I have this "crush" at work. We don't really know each other although we've exchanged hellos and nods. Sometimes I see him walking, and he's totally distant. Today I saw him in the employee lounge while I was having lunch with my two lady friends. He made eye contact with me in a friendly kind of way, but I just sat there chatting. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I wish people would be more consistent in the way they interacted with others.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

I'm not very good at it either. Just one of the reasons I'm alone.

 

[Rii]

Some time back I approached two women who appeared to be chatting amiably. One of them had to leave, and immediately after she did so the other turned to me and said 'I really don't like her.'

I found this very unsettling. I had detected no such animosity whilst observing them, therefore she could well harbour such toward me without my knowing it. The incident thus served as a needed if not welcome reminder of the unfortunate necessity of maintaining a defensive posture in all social engagements. Give away nothing that can be used against you.

 

[MetalPants]

My boss has commented several times that he can't read me. I have decided that that is a good thing.

 

[sidious618]

I make it known how I feel.

 

[thestrangequark]

I make it known how I feel.

I've been told often that I am very difficult to read. It was a conscious choice when I was a child, and now it's habit.

 

[sidious618]

It can be tough to read people. For example if I'm interested in a woman I can't always tell if she's into me. If she's saying, "Fuck you, creep, get away from me!" what is she trying to say?

 

[Kestra]

I can't quite "read" other people--their motives, their body language, their thoughts or feelings. I feel like a Betazoid with no telepathic or empathic abilities.

I've mentioned before that I have this "crush" at work. We don't really know each other although we've exchanged hellos and nods. Sometimes I see him walking, and he's totally distant. Today I saw him in the employee lounge while I was having lunch with my two lady friends. He made eye contact with me in a friendly kind of way, but I just sat there chatting. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I wish people would be more consistent in the way they interacted with others.

It doesn't sound like he's being terribly inconsistent. It's possible sometimes he just doesn't notice you or doesn't feel in a very friendly mood.

Some time back I approached two women who appeared to be chatting amiably. One of them had to leave, and immediately after she did so the other turned to me and said 'I really don't like her.'

Sadly, this is not unusual.

As for me, I'm can be a bit guarded about what I'm feeling but I do my best to be sincere and genuine in my dealings with others. I'm fairly good at reading people or getting them to open up to me.

 

[Gryffindorian]

About a month ago, I completed a 12-week seminar at work that included a segment on Emotional Intelligence. The four components of EQ are Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. Before I took the test, I was under the impression that my strength would be in Social Awareness and my "weakness" was Self Management. Although my overall preliminary scores were not bad, I was very much surprised with the results. My highest score was in Self Awareness, and I could use the most improvement on Relationship Management.

All that psycho-babble aside, I'm usually good at sensing other people's moods or emotions, especially people I'm well acquainted with. It just seems that this guy comes across as passive or very serious at times.

 

[Hermiod]

I make it known how I feel.

I've been told often that I am very difficult to read. It was a conscious choice when I was a child, and now it's habit.

Do they make an e-book version of you ? Maybe then they could make the font bigger.

 

[Mr Awe]

He made eye contact with me in a friendly kind of way, but I just sat there chatting.

Based on this sentence alone, I'm guessing that he'd be pretty confused by your motives as well. What you say about him, well he's probably thinking about you.

So, while I don't know how he feels about you, it seems like you're not helping the situation. I'm not criticizing, just pointing this out.

Mr Awe

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

He made eye contact with me in a friendly kind of way, but I just sat there chatting.

Based on this sentence alone, I'm guessing that he'd be pretty confused by your motives as well. What you say about him, well he's probably thinking about you.

So, while I don't know how he feels about you, it seems like you're not helping the situation. I'm not criticizing, just pointing this out.

Mr Awe

Silly question, but why don't you just strike up a water cooler conversation with him?

You'll never know anything at all if you don't actually get to know him in some capacity.

 

[Mr Awe]

^^ Very true!

 

[Gryffindorian]

I have, actually. The usual "So glad it's Friday! Nice weather we have" conversation. I don't really know him that well, and we both work in different departments, on different floors. I sure as hell ain't going to march into his office and start a conversation. I don't really dwell too much on it since (A) it's just a crush; (B) he's out of my league; and most importantly, (C) he's 99.9% likely a straight guy.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

You just never know, though.

What harm can it do to include him in conversations whenever you get the chance? I don't know about your office, but the women in mine gossip like hens. I bet you could probably get some good info on his likes just from the gossip chain.

From there, it's just a matter of striking up a conversation when you get the chance.

If he's straight, you make a new friend. If he's not, bully for you!

 

[ManOnTheWave]

It can be tough to read people. For example if I'm interested in a woman I can't always tell if she's into me. If she's saying, "Fuck you, creep, get away from me!" what is she trying to say?

Dude, she wants you.

 

[Marten]

Some time back I approached two women who appeared to be chatting amiably. One of them had to leave, and immediately after she did so the other turned to me and said 'I really don't like her.'

I found this very unsettling. I had detected no such animosity whilst observing them, therefore she could well harbour such toward me without my knowing it. The incident thus served as a needed if not welcome reminder of the unfortunate necessity of maintaining a defensive posture in all social engagements. Give away nothing that can be used against you.

That is one of the things about women that scares me. If they can pretend to like a person they really hates, how can I read them at all?

 

[thestrangequark]

^Oh come on. Women aren't mystical unfathomable creatures. Some women are terrible at disguising their feelings, just as some men are. Some men are pros at being deceitful, just as some women are.

 

[sidious618]

It can be tough to read people. For example if I'm interested in a woman I can't always tell if she's into me. If she's saying, "Fuck you, creep, get away from me!" what is she trying to say?

Dude, she wants you.

I knew it!

 

[Mr Silver]

I guess its hard when you can't "read people" but some people are just like that, for instance, i've been told myself many times that i'm really hard to read, yet I can read other people very well, the only difficulty I have is reading their intentions towards me and not how they are feeling, whats going on, etc