I'm turning 25. QUARTER OF A CENTURY old. God help me.

[Danoz]

This month I'll be a quarter of a century old. I'm quite sure I'm having a quarter life crisis... is this normal? About two months ago my fiancee and I separated, but as much as I was 100% ready to marry her and start a life, I respected her "cold feet" and need to be single, and handled the entire breakup with a high level of maturity and, dare I say, emotional detachment. Thank God for work. I love working. It must be the Irish-Italian tradition of hard work and hard play-- but I feel useless when I'm not working, loving, playing or drinking to the best of my ability.

When I was growing up I wrote poetry. In fact, I have pages and pages of eloquent philosophizing and soul-searching... and it's been a full two years since I've written anything resembling such a thing (outside the letters to my fiancee when we started our long distance relationship). When I reread those letters, I don't feel anything. I remember staying in bed for 2 weeks over failed relationships not even a quarter as meaningful. I feel like Cartman in the episode where he blows a "funny fuse" after seeing the couple with butts for faces. Somehow, I have successfully buried my emotions-- and while I could cry right now if I watched the last ten minutes of "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey," there wouldn't be a tear over anything serious. What kind of man cries over something serious, anyway? Fuck that. Shadow limping home to his boy? Niagra falls, Frankie-Angel.


I've decided to start writing again. Check out the layout for my new blog at www.porterbrew.com. Right now it just has my photography, 3D Design and some Latin Dummy text.


I've decided I want to get abroad. I didn't major in international relations and political science to go to D.C. happy hours and “network.” I'm going to apply for JETT or Fullbright and get back to my language study-- possibly teach English in Japan, Korea or China.

I love life. I love my friends, my colleagues, my family. I love this bottle of Jameson 12 year. Tonight, I'm going to watch Deep Space Nine and smoke tobacco from my briar pipe-- a gift from one of my best friends. I'm going to Facebook the night away and chat it up with old friends. Then, tomorrow, I'm going to ride my bike into the city and go to work on a Saturday. THEN, The “Wrath of Khan” is playing at the cultural theatre in Maryland. I'm going to actually see the Wrath of Khan on the big screen!


To all my TrekBBS brethren, stay well. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Here's a drink on me. Slainte'.

 

[Rulius]

Bah... wait until you're 40 then get back to us,,,

 

[miraclefan]

Bah... wait until you're 40 then get back to us,,,

Ditto!

 

[eastman23]

Here, I'll commiserate with you, since I'm in the same spot. 25 this month...

 

[AstroSmurf]

To hell with 40. Just wait until you turn 30. If you having this much trouble at 25... you really will blow a fuse in five years.

But to be truthful, I know how you feel. I was there at one point. I used to write all the time in my teens. Poetry, short stories, articles, songs, plays, commentaries... whatever tripped my fancy at the time. Then my interest dwindled off around 23 or 24. But at thirty I felt enough time had passed and I started pecking away again at it. It has been poetry mostly and few short stories here and there but I am a least doing it again. And after some reflection, I think I was tapped out creatively at 24. By my mid-twenties, I had burned off all my teen angst, been shoved out into the adult world and was to busy trying to survive and start a career to be wallowing in my own self sanctity. I think by then I had also become a little numb to the world around me. I just didn't have it in me to become emotionally involved. I had done way to much of that between 15 and 22 to last a lifetime.

But now I am a little older, wiser and seasoned. I have accomplished some things, failed at others and have managed to survive this far without living under a bridge. And these last ten years have given me a lot to chew on philosophically and creatively. I actually have something to say again from all of it. And even though all those poems and stories from my early youth are strangely removed from the person I am today, they are still just as meaningful despite the things I find important now are not the same things I found important then. One is a picture of the past, something I will never get to experience again. The present musings give me a chance to leave another "trail of breadcrumbs" to the myself to find another ten years.

Oh and Happy Birthday Danoz...

 

[Peach Wookiee]

Happy birthday, Danoz... Enjoy your fun.

 

[sidious618]

Don't worry about years. I turned 20 and people told me that it'd be an amazing feeling turning twenty while others told me an intense feeling of responsibility would wash over me. Neither happened. You know what did happen?

I got cake and some money. That's about it.

 

[Kestra]

Happy Birthday, Danoz. Turning 25 isn't bad. I turned 26 in June and it's been fine so far. Also there's nothing wrong with crying whether over something serious, or not. Enjoy where you are in life, make the most of it, and look forward to good times ahead!

 

[AstroSmurf]

Don't worry about years. I turned 20 and people told me that it'd be an amazing feeling turning twenty while others told me an intense feeling of responsibility would wash over me. Neither happened. You know what did happen?

I got cake and some money. That's about it.

I got drunk. Back then I would take that over a cake and money any day of the week.

Actually, come to think of it, I have gotten drunk on all my birthdays since I was sixteen except one, my 21st. I was snowed in and had the flu so instead I went stoned on cold medicine.

 

[TheBrew]

Baby. :P

 

[Mallory]

Bah... wait until you're 40 then get back to us,,,

Or 50!

Seriously though Danoz, it's just another phase of life. You're going to be just fine, trust me.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

I've decided I want to get abroad. .

I want to get a broad too. Happy birthday

 

[RandyS]

Bah... wait until you're 40 then get back to us,,,

Ditto!

Seeing as how I'll be 40 in April, I agree.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Trust me, at 25, you've still got your whole life ahead of you. Birthdays often have the effect of making people feel old; I know I did when I turned 25, then 30, then 35. I stopped caring after awhile. I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and your fiancée, but it's not the end of the road for you. Cheers and happy birthday.

 

[Lindley]

When I turned 18, I figured everything would change with college. Nothing did.
When I turned 23, I figured everything would change after college. Nothing did.
Now I'm 26 and still nothing's changing, despite my best efforts.

And you know what bugs me most about it? 18-25 was lame. Nothing happened. Sure, I graduated from high school, then college, got a job, I've got more money in the bank than I know what to do with, I'm trying to become a pilot....and my life is just dull as hell most of the time. It's been years since I had a decent crush, and I can't even bring myself to be attracted to a girl who likes me.

If your life is a roller coaster, then even when you're down you're better off then those of us perpetually waiting in line. Dammit, I know there's a problem, and as an engineer solving problems is my thing. But this one just eludes me....

 

[Miss Chicken]

When I tuerned 50 last year I thought to myself that if even if I am destined to live to 100 I am now more than half way through my life.

Than I realise though I might be over the hill, the journey down a hill is generally more enjoyable than the long slog up the hill.

 

[sidious618]

When I tuerned 50 last year I thought to myself that if even if I am destined to live to 100 I am now more than hald way through my life.

Than I realise though I might be over the hill, the journey down a hill is generally more enjoyable than the long slog up the hill.

That's a great way of looking at it. I don't see any reason to "give up" no matter what my age is.

 

[Goji]

I realized just the other day that I've been telling people all year (when it comes up in conversation anyway) that I'm 23 when I'm actually 22. I actually believed myself to be a year older than I am, and was disappointed to realize my true age. Funny.

Anyways, good luck with the whole being 25 thing.

 

[Aurian]

Im just going to wish you an early easy breezy happy birthday.
I know I had my one and only crisis when I turned 25. But it was shortlived.

 

[DiSiLLUSiON]

25? Welcome to the club.