I want someone to pray to God to fix my spacebar!

[Jayson]

GoodGod! I started thisthread because my spacebar is not working so great. I have to hit it hard for it to work. I was hoping God would listen to ya since he seems to have it in for me. I need you to hurray though because God is really pissed now.He even erased this message before I sent it so this is thesecond time I have had to type this thread.


Jason

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Which God should I be praying to?

 

[Plecostomus]

Dear Father in Heaven I ask of you with humble heart and a soul full of repentance that you please repair Jayson's space bar. In the name of our Savior, Jesus the Christ... Amen.


Seriously this isn't the oddest thing I've prayed over.

 

[auntiehill]

You need me to "hurray?" OK. Hooray!

Oh, btw, I don't think God works in tech support, let alone deals with one lousy space key. If you can't fix it, you could just get a new keyboard. They're not that expensive.

But if God did exist, then you'd probably be right about God being pissed at you. I mean, why wouldn't he be?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

What does God need with a Space bar?

 

[RoJoHen]

Dear Lord,

Send Jayson a brand new computer with a brand new high speed internet connection and free, reliable tech support. He keeps having problems.

 

[Jayson]

You need me to "hurray?" OK. Hooray!

Oh, btw, I don't think God works in tech support, let alone deals with one lousy space key. If you can't fix it, you could just get a new keyboard. They're not that expensive.

But if God did exist, then you'd probably be right about God being pissed at you. I mean, why wouldn't he be?

I know but Iwould rather spend my extra money ondvd's if Ican.

Jason

 

[CaptainHawk1]

What does God need with a Space bar?

Dear Lord,

Please provide Jayson with the $8 needed to buy a replacement keyboard at Big Lots.

 

[Ashu]

Dearest God,

I am afraid the lost of Jaysons keyboard has finally drove him insane. He's making us write letters to a creation of the mind in hopes it will make it come back to life.

Thanks.

P.s. Tell Santa I said hi.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Actually, I've figured out He needs a Space bar to execute His Crush Spirit program.

 

[CaptainHawk1]

Dearest God,

I am afraid the lost of Jaysons keyboard has finally drove him insane. He's making us write letters to a creation of the mind in hopes it will make it come back to life.

Thanks.

P.s. Tell Santa I said hi.

Is this really necessary?

 

[RJDiogenes]

I only pray to Coyote. He's got a funny sense of humor. Your spacebar will be fixed, but your ass will fall off. Hope that's okay.

 

[Ashu]

Dearest God,

I am afraid the lost of Jaysons keyboard has finally drove him insane. He's making us write letters to a creation of the mind in hopes it will make it come back to life.

Thanks.

P.s. Tell Santa I said hi.

Is this really necessary?

Probably not. Then again, it's not necessary to get worked up over it either.

 

[Goliath]

Dearest God,

I am afraid the lost of Jaysons keyboard has finally drove him insane. He's making us write letters to a creation of the mind in hopes it will make it come back to life.

Thanks.

P.s. Tell Santa I said hi.

Is this really necessary?

If you believe in a deterministic universe, then--yes.

That said:

I conjure thee, ASTAROTH, wicked spirit, by the words and virtues of God, by the powerful God, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, unto whom all demons are submitted, Who was conceived by the Virgin Mary; by the mystery of the angel Gabriel, I conjure thee; and again, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost; in the name of the glorious Virgin Mary and of the most Holy Trinity, in Whose honour do all the Archangels, Thrones, Dominations, Powers, Patriarchs, Prophets, Apostles and Evangelists sing without end; Hosannah, Hosannah, Hosannah, Lord God of Hosts, Who art, Who wast, Who is to come, as a river of burning fire!

Neglect not my commands, refuse not to come! I command thee by Him who shall appear with flames to judge the living and the dead, unto Whom is all honour, praise and glory.

Come, therefore, promptly, and obey my will by fixing Jayson's spacebar; appear and give praise unto the true God, unto the living God, yea, unto all his works; fail not to obey me, and give honour to the Holy Ghost, in Whose name I command thee.

*Shrug* What the hell--can't hurt.

 

[CaptainHawk1]

Dearest God,

I am afraid the lost of Jaysons keyboard has finally drove him insane. He's making us write letters to a creation of the mind in hopes it will make it come back to life.

Thanks.

P.s. Tell Santa I said hi.

Is this really necessary?

Probably not. Then again, it's not necessary to get worked up over it either.

I haven't gotten worked up over it, I simply asked if it was necessary. You're beneath me so it doesn't really bother me.

It is kind of interesting though that you take every opportunity that you have to bash religion even at the mere mention of a guy doing something as mundane as praying for his fucking space bar to work.

You're silly.

 

[CaptainHawk1]

Dearest God,

I am afraid the lost of Jaysons keyboard has finally drove him insane. He's making us write letters to a creation of the mind in hopes it will make it come back to life.

Thanks.

P.s. Tell Santa I said hi.

Is this really necessary?

If you believe in a deterministic universe, then--yes.

That said:

I conjure thee, ASTAROTH, wicked spirit, by the words and virtues of God, by the powerful God, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, unto whom all demons are submitted, Who was conceived by the Virgin Mary; by the mystery of the angel Gabriel, I conjure thee; and again, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost; in the name of the glorious Virgin Mary and of the most Holy Trinity, in Whose honour do all the Archangels, Thrones, Dominations, Powers, Patriarchs, Prophets, Apostles and Evangelists sing without end; Hosannah, Hosannah, Hosannah, Lord God of Hosts, Who art, Who wast, Who is to come, as a river of burning fire!

Neglect not my commands, refuse not to come! I command thee by Him who shall appear with flames to judge the living and the dead, unto Whom is all honour, praise and glory.

Come, therefore, promptly, and obey my will by fixing Jayson's spacebar; appear and give praise unto the true God, unto the living God, yea, unto all his works; fail not to obey me, and give honour to the Holy Ghost, in Whose name I command thee.

*Shrug* What the hell--can't hurt.

Is that supposed to be impressive?

 

[Ashu]

Is this really necessary?

Probably not. Then again, it's not necessary to get worked up over it either.

I haven't gotten worked up over it, I simply asked if it was necessary. You're beneath me so it doesn't really bother me.

It is kind of interesting though that you take every opportunity that you have to bash religion even at the mere mention of a guy doing something as mundane as praying for his fucking space bar to work.

You're silly.

Im not even going to bother getting into this with you. Especially since Im beneath you.

Equality at its best right here.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I haven't gotten worked up over it, I simply asked if it was necessary. You're beneath me so it doesn't really bother me.

That certainly wasn't necessary. Religion has no special exemption from commentary. If you have a counterpoint to make, make it, but please don't start down the road of insulting other Posters.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Is this really necessary?

Probably not. Then again, it's not necessary to get worked up over it either.

I haven't gotten worked up over it, I simply asked if it was necessary. You're beneath me so it doesn't really bother me.

It is kind of interesting though that you take every opportunity that you have to bash religion even at the mere mention of a guy doing something as mundane as praying for his fucking space bar to work.

You're silly.

Well, that's rather rude ...

 

[Deckerd]

Seriously though, Jason; how much is a new keyboard? It can't be all that expensive because they're cheap over here and we're always more expensive than over there. Prayer probably won't work but a minor investment definitely will.