I think my college crush from 10 years ago wants to sleep with me

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by BoyNamedSue, Sep 12, 2009.

  1. BoyNamedSue

    BoyNamedSue Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Jun 4, 2004
    OK, when I was in college 10 years ago I had a MAD CRUSH on a very attractive woman that I worked with. She was only about five years old than I. I thought we had A LOT in common and a very distinct chemistry with one another. She was married (and is still married to the same man), so I didn't dare say a thing!!!!

    I graduated college, moved out of state and we kept in touch through e-mail, but we sort of stopped communicating after two or so years had passed (for whatever reason), even though we kept each other's e-mail addresses. We found each other on Facebook two years ago. I moved back to my home city and state last year (where she still lives). She has since had two children with this man.

    She admitted to me in an e-mail last December that she also has had a crush on me since we first met and has acted very flirtatious lately.........I was STUNNED, because I never in a million years expected to hear that from her.

    We talk alot on text and Facebook chat now. We have seen each other in person only a few times since I moved back, and it was innocent (brief little visit at her business, bumping into her at the grocery store, etc.) She says she would spend A LOT of time with me as a friend (and maybe even date me) if she weren't married........she HATES her husband and plans to divorce him once her two children are a few years older.

    She calls me "hot," "handsome" and "good-looking" in various texts and e-mails. She said she likes to flirt because it is good for her self-esteem.

    She also told me that she recently cheated on her husband for the first time, with her high school boyfriend, whom she was recently reunited with through Facebook. They met in a hotel 30 miles away. The boyfriend lives on the opposite side of the state, and she won't see him very often (he is also married with children). She said she is starting to have feelings for him.

    She also told me that her sex drive has increased significantly, and she has been fighting hormonal urges lately (and she used to be such a religious woman). She has been telling me lately that she is now OK with the idea of people having casual sex and even told me I was wrong to turn down some one-night stand opportunities I had with other women.

    She now texts me constantly during the day, and I respond because I like getting attention from her.......I'm INSANELY attracted to her!!!!

    She also needs advice, and thanks me for being a good friend to her. She tells me a lot of her secrets, stuff she tells no one else. She ends a lot of her texts with xoxo's (as in hugs and kisses) and "love ya." Some of her more recent texts have been very flirty, and she even teased me today about sending me some nude pics of her (she didn't.....just pics of her new haircut).

    She wants me to "go see a movie or do something" with her next month on the weekend that her husband and sons are leaving the state for a weekend trip (she is staying in town)

    Taking all of this into account, do any of you believe that this woman is setting up an attempt to sleep with me?

    Or should I just assume that she wants to be my friend and that the whole movie thing (and the flirtation) is totally innocent?

    Because I don't believe I could resist her if she tried to initiate something with me. I haven't been in a relationship or had sex in more than two years.......I am sexually frustrated.........
  2. Gary Mitchell

    Gary Mitchell Fleet Admiral Admiral

    May 16, 2001
    ¯\_(°·O)_/¯ Florida
    Even though I'm tempted to say "Go for it" I'm going with "wait until she is divorced".
  3. Cakes488

    Cakes488 Commodore Commodore

    Feb 3, 2009
    Long Island and Upstate NY
    Oh my goodness! Much to process here...I'll have to digest.
  4. Danoz

    Danoz Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Sep 19, 2006
    New York, NY
    Well I'm really not a fan of this girl... plus I'm the jealous type and knowing she's getting railed indiscriminately on the side by a childhood lover during her marriage while overtly flirting with you also means she's crazy. At the same time, you're a human male, I wouldn't blame you if you slipped on this one but I would warn you to be careful and, if you care about her, realize that empty sex with you won't do much for either of you in the long run.

    Officially, I recommend you run like the wind and pursue stable options. PARTICULARLY if you have actual feelings for her.
  5. Snaploud

    Snaploud Admiral Admiral

    Jul 5, 2001
    Rhode Island, USA
    Well, it sounds like she has her hooks into you, so I fully expect a) for you to sleep with her and b) for it to lead to a downward spiral of depression when she is unable/unwilling to reciprocate in your inevitable desire for a stronger commitment.

    Or you could just stop yourself now. Just a thought...
  6. Joe Washington

    Joe Washington Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Apr 26, 2009
    Providence, Rhode Island, United States
    From what I can tell from you have said, you seem to want more than a sexual encounter with this woman. I'm with Gary Mitchell. I think you should wait until the divorce is finalized. There'll still be some complications when it comes to her ex-husband and the feelings of her children towards you but they will be less and more troublesome compare to the complications you would get if you got involved with a married woman.

    And I'm not sure if you should get together with her. Think about it. She already cheated on her husband with her high school boyfriend and wants to have the same experience with you, her old college buddy. I think she seems to want you because you represent a part of her past which was simple and fun back then which is the opposite of her present with her strained marriage. She just wants a fling with you. Nothing more. An experience to feel something without guilt or fear of consequences. To have some fun. So I think you better try to let this crush on her go. I know right now she may seem like "the one" to you and sleeping with her may look like an opportunity of lifetime but over time, I think you'll find yourself regretting it and by then you moving on from this would be more difficult to accomplish because the hurt would be too much to bear concerning how strong your feelings for her are.
  7. BoyNamedSue

    BoyNamedSue Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Jun 4, 2004
    That's just the thing.

    I don't expect a commitment from her.

    I understand her situation, and I don't expect her to offer anything other than a casual friends with benefits type relationship right now.

    And that's all I need right now.......SEX!

    I'm just asking because I don't want to assume that she wants a sexual relationship, IF she actually just wants just a close friendship.

    Is there anyone out there who thinks she just wants friendship?

    Or is it pretty clear that she wants sex?
  8. Michael Chris

    Michael Chris Admiral Admiral

    May 11, 2001
    The 'Querq, NM
    Don't do it, man. It's not worth it.
  9. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Feb 22, 2006
    Bad situation. Marriages are a tricky thing.

    You'd basically be sticking your dick in a hornets' nest.

    Joe, with ointment
  10. Australis

    Australis Writer Admiral

    Mar 12, 2005

    Okay. If it was me... I dunno. Truly. I do not know what I'd do.

    This could be a lot of fun... but it could also be very very bad.

    I'd err on the side of caution, wait til she's divorced, see how it plays out with the husband and boyfriend, and just have some flirty fun.

    Aaaannd... there are kids. Granted, they're probably a bit older, can look after themselves, and so on, but there's a good chance of resentment.

    Hey, are people, like lovers, still called to court if there's a nasty divorce?

    Much less of a problem if the divorce happens first.
  11. Flux Capacitor

    Flux Capacitor Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    May 12, 2001
    Seems like a messy situation and getting involved would just be asking for trouble. I say steer well clear of this woman and find someone who doesn't have the "baggage".
  12. Brolan

    Brolan Commodore Commodore

    Jul 1, 2002
    Backwoods Minnesota
    This reminds me of a bomb with a very long fuse. It may go on quite a while but it will eventually blow up in your face.
  13. Starbreaker

    Starbreaker Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Feb 19, 2001
    Birmingham, AL
    Not worth it. You're going to get your heart broken or your face beat in.
  14. Kommander

    Kommander Commodore Commodore

    Mar 22, 2005
    It could be worse... it could end with Stone Cold Stunners.
  15. The Boy Who Cried Worf

    The Boy Who Cried Worf Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Jul 12, 2008

    Actually banging a hot, sexually frustrated housewife is the definition of worth it.
  16. Jono

    Jono Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Dec 22, 2001
    Don't you mean "It could be more awesome"?
  17. Bloodwhiner

    Bloodwhiner Commodore Commodore

    Apr 25, 2001
    Where I is, except when I ain't
    Would you be bothered if she was cheating on you? Because she likely would and find a reason to justify it.

    Tell your not comfortable with the current situation but that you do care for her. It is because you care about her that you must now break off the relationship. But tell her that you would like to see her again when she is no longer with her husband.

    that will give you both time to reassess the situation with clearer heads.
  18. Flux Capacitor

    Flux Capacitor Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    May 12, 2001
    To paraphrase the great Christopher Lloyd, "Great Scott, GET OUT! GET OUTTA THERE! GET OUT!"
  19. Robert Maxwell

    Robert Maxwell memelord Premium Member

    Jun 12, 2001
    If you wanna mess around with a married chick, just be prepared for the consequences. Use any and all precautions at your disposal.

    I don't think it's such a good idea while she's still married. Sounds like she wants to sow some wild oats and you're looking ready to plow. Just watch your back! Don't know what kind of person her husband is, but a lot of guys would trash you for touching their wives.

    She could also end up getting attached to you if you are still seeing her during the divorce. It's an emotionally vulnerable time.

    There are a lot of variables involved, and you have to consider whether it's worth it just to get some pussy.
  20. Australis

    Australis Writer Admiral

    Mar 12, 2005
    Hmm, is this the new MadBaggins?

    He should be back any day now saying he's done the deed and it's all gone awry, which will elicit a bounty of mirth among the cognoscenti.