I need dumb "super" powers!

[USS Triumphant]

I'm running a comedy RPG this weekend and I need ideas for dumb superpowers. Please help. Legion of Substitute Superheroes type stuff is fine, but even dumber than that would be very welcome.

(Difficulty: It needs to be something that could conceivably be at least a tiny bit useful/fun to have. An example of something that probably wouldn't work: The ability to instantly switch anything with its counterpart from a parallel universe where everything is exactly the same as it is here. )

 

[Zulu Romeo]

How about the power to send bricks to sleep by hypnosis? (I think that one might have been done before...)

 

[Roger Wilco]

The power to hop on one leg exactly as quickly as you could walk on two.

 

[PianoWizzy]

A power to change the color/appearance of things. Remotely useful but overall, ridiculous.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

The power to talk in a Received Pronunciation accent.

 

[PianoWizzy]

The power to make animal noises.

 

[Misfit Toy]

A Subs story I read this morning featured "Estimate Lad" - who could estimate sizes and numbers of things. For example, he correctly estimated the number of Legion applicants at 41.

Also - I remember a Wild Cards story that had a character that could increase his own mass by two ounces!

 

[ManOnTheWave]

The power to control size and intensity of one's own farts.

 

[USS Triumphant]

How about the power to send bricks to sleep by hypnosis? (I think that one might have been done before...)

Well, okay... but what would that DO?

The power to hop on one leg exactly as quickly as you could walk on two.

I think this one is "in".

A power to change the color/appearance of things. Remotely useful but overall, ridiculous.

If you're talking about the LoSS character, his power really wasn't as dumb or as limited as I think even HE thought. After all, he changed the color of Kryptonite in one issue, and changed which type of Kryptonite it acted as on Superman by doing so. Think that over.

The power to talk in a Received Pronunciation accent.

Nifty. But not even a weak super power. Just a power.

The power to make animal noises.

I assume you mean with near total accuracy. I think this one is 'in'.

A Subs story I read this morning featured "Estimate Lad" - who could estimate sizes and numbers of things. For example, he correctly estimated the number of Legion applicants at 41.

Also - I remember a Wild Cards story that had a character that could increase his own mass by two ounces!

Hmmm... The first one, maybe. I can't see even a ridiculous in-game use for the second one.

The power to control size and intensity of one's own farts.

This one might be 'in'.

Thanks for these so far. Keep 'em coming!

 

[Zulu Romeo]

How about the power to send bricks to sleep by hypnosis? (I think that one might have been done before...)

Well, okay... but what would that DO?

Bricks are nasty wee things. A brick that's awake can do all sorts of bad things, like fly. Put a brick to sleep by hypnosis, and it'll stop in its tracks, lying dormant.

Trust me.

The power to talk in a Received Pronunciation accent.

Nifty. But not even a weak super power. Just a power.

In some parts of the world it can make grown women weak at the knees. Believe me, it works.

 

[Tan Ru]

The power to grow one's fingernails at an incredible rate at will.

[Meg Griffin]

 

[captcalhoun]

the ability to talk to Squirrels.

the ability to throw tennis balls with uncanny accuracy. but only tennis balls

the ability to jump exactly six feet off the ground.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

The ability to turn water into Elmer's glue.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

the ability to throw a plastic version of your symbol at an enemy flying at you

 

[auntiehill]

The power to make soda pop bubble over at will.

 

[BDJ]

The ability to change matter into mashed potatoes.

The ability to change genders in yourself and others

The ability to spit extraordinary lengths

The ability to perfectly mimic Justin Bieber

The ability to recall any catch phrase from every movie ever made

The ability to make ariola's glow, yours and everyone else's

The ability to fluently speak in 1970's trucker slang

The ability to burp loudly, strongly and often

The ability to change radio and television stations on any equipment by just thinking it

The ability to grow superstrong toe hair at an astonishing rate

The ability to carry anything and everything in your belly button

The ability to change your skin color to paisley

That's all for right now....

 

[PianoWizzy]

The ability to perfectly mimic Justin Bieber

Oh goodness that has to be the worst.

 

[Mysterion]

The ability to find a perect parking space every time.

 

[RJDiogenes]

How about the ability to see through your own closed eyelids?

Or one level of "Undo?"

The power to make cats bark like a dog?

Or the gift of seeing into the future six minutes, but only at one spot 90 miles to the Southwest of your present location?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

The power to make cats bark like a dog?

"Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!"