I Literally Think I Am Retarded

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

I cannot tie a tie. I have been siting here for 45 minutes watching every video on You Tube and I can't do it. I can't get it with diagrams or videos or videos with mirror images. I don't know where my hands are supposed to be. The tie in my hand is never in the same position as the one in the video. I apparently cannot even tell my left side from my right side. I can't tie a Windsor, a Half Windsor, a Pi Windsor, a 4 in Hand, a 7 of 9. None of it. I am starting to think I have serious neurological problems.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Is a 7 of 9 tie what I think it is?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

You might just have poor motor skills, like me. The only times my fingers do what they're supposed to is at a keyboard or in a girl's pants.

 

[Trekker4747]

How can you not do the four-in-hand? There's a reason why it's called a "schoolboy knot"

Have the wide end of the tie on your right side hanging a good foot lower than the narrow end (on your left.)

Cross the wide end over the skinny end, back behind it, the around in front of it again. You've now made what will be your "knot."

The big-end of the tie now goes back behind the small end/know again, up though the hole where your neck is and then down through the loop/hole. Sinc up the tie by holding on to the skinny end and sliding the knot up toward your neck.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I just rock it like Kennedy and wear clip-ons.

 

[trekkiedane]

Watch the last couple of episodes of Dexter

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

You might just have poor motor skills, like me. The only times my fingers do what they're supposed to is at a keyboard or in a girl's pants.

Ahhhhhh! I can't do those either!

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

How can you not do the four-in-hand? There's a reason why it's called a "schoolboy knot"

Have the wide end of the tie on your right side hanging a good foot lower than the narrow end (on your left.)

Cross the wide end over the skinny end, back behind it, the around in front of it again. You've now made what will be your "knot."

The big-end of the tie now goes back behind the small end/know again, up though the hole where your neck is and then down through the loop/hole. Sinc up the tie by holding on to the skinny end and sliding the knot up toward your neck.

Okay I actually got that one to work although half the time the narrow end is longer than the wide end and the knots look terrible. I'll probably keep my ties pre-tied forever so the next time I have to tie a tie I'll have forgotten how and I'll have to go through this all over again.

 

[CaptainStoner]

Just do it a bunch of times, and you'll have it.

Mike,
Half-Windsor

 

[Goliath]

Don't despair. The breakthrough will come. Then, you'll find yourself wondering how you could ever have found it difficult.

 

[Trekker4747]

How can you not do the four-in-hand? There's a reason why it's called a "schoolboy knot"

Have the wide end of the tie on your right side hanging a good foot lower than the narrow end (on your left.)

Cross the wide end over the skinny end, back behind it, the around in front of it again. You've now made what will be your "knot."

The big-end of the tie now goes back behind the small end/know again, up though the hole where your neck is and then down through the loop/hole. Sinc up the tie by holding on to the skinny end and sliding the knot up toward your neck.

Okay I actually got that one to work although half the time the narrow end is longer than the wide end and the knots look terrible. I'll probably keep my ties pre-tied forever so the next time I have to tie a tie I'll have forgotten how and I'll have to go through this all over again.

The "wide" end needs to be longer than the "narrow" end by at least a foot (~31cm) keep the loops as tight and "closed" as possible (ie don't billow up the "loop" of the knot too much when you pull the tie through it.) If you still end up with the narrow end longer just make that end shorter when you start the knot and it should balance out. The "wide" end of the tie shouldn't be lower than your belly button, but not much higher than that either, when it is tied.

 

[Michael Chris]

I'm horrible at doing ties. Which is kind of interesting because I used to be great with knots.

 

[Danoz]

I can tie a simple tie, but that's because I've been wearing one everyday for a day and a half. I hate ties...

 

[Michael Chris]

Well, a day and a half isn't too long.

 

[Tim]

Here's a website that I've used in the past. My standard knot is the Half Windsor. The Four-In-Hand is just too asymmetrical and wimpy for me.

 

[Ashu]

You might just have poor motor skills, like me. The only times my fingers do what they're supposed to is at a keyboard or in a girl's pants.

At least your fingers know what their priorities are.

As for not being able to tie a tie equating to retardness, not really. I know plenty of people who dont know how to tie one. I wouldnt worry about it too much.

 

[Trekker4747]

Here's a website that I've used in the past. My standard knot is the Half Windsor. The Four-In-Hand is just too asymmetrical and wimpy for me.

My standard is the half-windsor too. I stopped doing the schoolboy knot when I entered Jr. High.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Here's a website that I've used in the past. My standard knot is the Half Windsor. The Four-In-Hand is just too asymmetrical and wimpy for me.

Yeah I tried that guy. I was mainly trying to do the Windsor and I kept getting lost at the second time you are supposed to pull the tie through the loop. I couldn't for the life of me see how they were pulling it and what part they were pulling it through.

 

[Trekker4747]

Here's a website that I've used in the past. My standard knot is the Half Windsor. The Four-In-Hand is just too asymmetrical and wimpy for me.

Yeah I tried that guy. I was mainly trying to do the Windsor and I kept getting lost at the second time you are supposed to pull the tie through the loop. I couldn't for the life of me see how they were pulling it and what part they were pulling it through.

If you've yet to master the four-in-hand then you shouldn't be trying to do the full-Windsor.

 

[Tim]

And the Full Windsor is way too wide for the majority of shirt/tie combinations. I recommend the Half Windsor for general use.