I hope this isn't considered spam...

[Nerdius Maximus]

I've written a book. It's currently available in e-book form for the Nook, and it will soon be up on Amazon's site for the Kindle.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-act-of-laughing-patrick-walts/1104144812?ean=2940012823335&itm=1&usri=patrick%2bwalts

Anyway, if you like books about crazy cults who worship long-forgotten ancient gods, check it out! Lol. I suppose it could be loosely labeled "horror," but there's no overt supernatural elements involved, just those perceived as real by the members of said cult. There are quite a few thinly-veiled jabs at certain types of organizations, religious or otherwise, but I'll leave that open to the interpretation of the reader. Take from it what you will.
This is actually the first novel I've ever completed. Started hundreds, abandoned them all several chapters in. I forced myself to focus and wrap the whole thing up this time. Kind of a "practice run," if you will, an attempt to hone my writing skills and learn how to construct a novel. You know, weaving the main plot and the subplots together, making everything tie in, etc. I think it turned out quite well. Everything seemed to flow together nicely when I read through the final draft.

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

My mommy says it's good! Lol. No, just kidding. She won't be reading it. It's far too filthy.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Hey that sounds interesting! When I get home, I'll check it out. (Boss is out to lunch I'm being a goof off. )

 

[Holdfast]

I don't read e-books, but it sounds an fun "read on the beach" type of book. Good luck with it!

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

^ You'll get sand in your Kindle, and that's irritating.

Sounds like an interesting story.

 

[Amaris]

My mommy says it's good! Lol. No, just kidding. She won't be reading it. It's far too filthy.

Filthy? Now, sir, you have piqued my interest!

 

[The Lensman]

I don't have a Kindle or Nook...but congratulations!! I hope your book does well!

For some reason I got an old school vibe from your cover, so I decided to do a couple of old school covers. Enjoy!



The normal one:

And the "aged" one:

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

I don't have a Kindle or Nook...but congratulations!! I hope your book does well!

For some reason I got an old school vibe from your cover, so I decided to do a couple of old school covers. Enjoy!



The normal one:

And the "aged" one:

That's really cool. I'd consider uploading the aged version as the cover if you'd be willing to grant me permission to do so. And you are correct, I was going for an old-school look. Like some obscure thing you'd see in a used bookstore and be like, "Hey, this looks interesting." The book itself has kind of a '70s pulp fiction vibe. Do you have a larger version of that pic? If you let me use it, you can always download kindle for PC(it's free) and I'll send you a free copy.

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

My mommy says it's good! Lol. No, just kidding. She won't be reading it. It's far too filthy.

Filthy? Now, sir, you have piqued my interest!

What followed was yet another, almost equally horrifying spectacle; as the fire died down and the chanting with it, everyone, including his mother and father began to disrobe.

Raines, standing naked before the altar, his arms outstretched, roared in triumph. “Praise be to Ba’al! Praise be to his queen, the goddess Tanit!”

In the most grotesque display of depravity Joseph could ever have conceived of, the naked bodies of the worshippers came together, a mass of wrinkled, flabby, middle-aged flesh, writhing in ecstasy as they began to fuck one another in every conceivable sexual position.

He watched with revulsion as his mother sucked cock after cock, slurping and licking like some sick parody of a porn star, taking one man after another into her engorged, reddened vagina. Semen dripped down the sides of her face like tears.

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

My mommy says it's good! Lol. No, just kidding. She won't be reading it. It's far too filthy.

Filthy? Now, sir, you have piqued my interest!

What followed was yet another, almost equally horrifying spectacle; as the fire died down and the chanting with it, everyone, including his mother and father began to disrobe.

Raines, standing naked before the altar, his arms outstretched, roared in triumph. “Praise be to Ba’al! Praise be to his queen, the goddess Tanit!”

In the most grotesque display of depravity Joseph could ever have conceived of, the naked bodies of the worshippers came together, a mass of wrinkled, flabby, middle-aged flesh, writhing in ecstasy as they began to fuck one another in every conceivable sexual position.

He watched with revulsion as his mother sucked cock after cock, slurping and licking like some sick parody of a porn star, taking one man after another into her engorged, reddened vagina. Semen dripped down the sides of her face like tears.

It's not all like that, but I felt it was necessary to demonstrate just how depraved these people have become. I have no idea if the people of ancient Carthage included orgies in their ceremonies, but fuck it, these 21st century ones do. Artistic license!

 

[Amaris]

Filthy? Now, sir, you have piqued my interest!

What followed was yet another, almost equally horrifying spectacle; as the fire died down and the chanting with it, everyone, including his mother and father began to disrobe.

Raines, standing naked before the altar, his arms outstretched, roared in triumph. “Praise be to Ba’al! Praise be to his queen, the goddess Tanit!”

In the most grotesque display of depravity Joseph could ever have conceived of, the naked bodies of the worshippers came together, a mass of wrinkled, flabby, middle-aged flesh, writhing in ecstasy as they began to fuck one another in every conceivable sexual position.

He watched with revulsion as his mother sucked cock after cock, slurping and licking like some sick parody of a porn star, taking one man after another into her engorged, reddened vagina. Semen dripped down the sides of her face like tears.

It's not all like that, but I felt it was necessary to demonstrate just how depraved these people have become. I have no idea if the people of ancient Carthage included orgies in their ceremonies, but fuck it, these 21st century ones do. Artistic license!

Reminds me of a book I once read, but I've long since forgotten the title. It wasn't this genre, though, but it looks interesting enough. Sick and twisted can be good when done properly (as it were), so I will check it out! I wish you success on your book! Novel writing is a pain in the ass. The ideas come easy enough, it's just the mechanics of it wear me out.

 

[The Lensman]

I don't have a Kindle or Nook...but congratulations!! I hope your book does well!

For some reason I got an old school vibe from your cover, so I decided to do a couple of old school covers. Enjoy!



The normal one:

And the "aged" one:

That's really cool. I'd consider uploading the aged version as the cover if you'd be willing to grant me permission to do so. And you are correct, I was going for an old-school look. Like some obscure thing you'd see in a used bookstore and be like, "Hey, this looks interesting." The book itself has kind of a '70s pulp fiction vibe. Do you have a larger version of that pic? If you let me use it, you can always download kindle for PC(it's free) and I'll send you a free copy.

Glad you liked 'em, and I'd be happy to give you permission. I worked with the size of the file unaltered until I made them smaller to put them on photobucket. The actual original size, when I downloaded, is something like 216x300 inches with a resolution of 2.

I posted them at 3.6x5 with a resolution of 72.

In order for the aging effect to work with such low resolutions, the image can't be *too* big, otherwise you can see the pixelization.

What size did you have in mind?

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

I don't have a Kindle or Nook...but congratulations!! I hope your book does well!

For some reason I got an old school vibe from your cover, so I decided to do a couple of old school covers. Enjoy!



The normal one:

And the "aged" one:

That's really cool. I'd consider uploading the aged version as the cover if you'd be willing to grant me permission to do so. And you are correct, I was going for an old-school look. Like some obscure thing you'd see in a used bookstore and be like, "Hey, this looks interesting." The book itself has kind of a '70s pulp fiction vibe. Do you have a larger version of that pic? If you let me use it, you can always download kindle for PC(it's free) and I'll send you a free copy.

Glad you liked 'em, and I'd be happy to give you permission. I worked with the size of the file unaltered until I made them smaller to put them on photobucket. The actual original size, when I downloaded, is something like 216x300 inches with a resolution of 2.

I posted them at 3.6x5 with a resolution of 72.

In order for the aging effect to work with such low resolutions, the image can't be *too* big, otherwise you can see the pixelization.

What size did you have in mind?

Ah, that might not work, then. It's got to be something along the lines of 600 X 800. Not sure about the resolution. Did you do it on Photoshop? I really need to invest in a copy of Photoshop. I actually made the cover on Lunapic, which is an online, poor-man's version of Photoshop. I cropped and merged several photos and paintings together, changing things up in order to make the original works unrecognizable. The artistic equivalent of sampling, I guess. Lol. To me it looks like a less cluttered version of Slayer's "South Of Heaven" cover.

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

What followed was yet another, almost equally horrifying spectacle; as the fire died down and the chanting with it, everyone, including his mother and father began to disrobe.

Raines, standing naked before the altar, his arms outstretched, roared in triumph. “Praise be to Ba’al! Praise be to his queen, the goddess Tanit!”

In the most grotesque display of depravity Joseph could ever have conceived of, the naked bodies of the worshippers came together, a mass of wrinkled, flabby, middle-aged flesh, writhing in ecstasy as they began to fuck one another in every conceivable sexual position.

He watched with revulsion as his mother sucked cock after cock, slurping and licking like some sick parody of a porn star, taking one man after another into her engorged, reddened vagina. Semen dripped down the sides of her face like tears.

It's not all like that, but I felt it was necessary to demonstrate just how depraved these people have become. I have no idea if the people of ancient Carthage included orgies in their ceremonies, but fuck it, these 21st century ones do. Artistic license!

Reminds me of a book I once read, but I've long since forgotten the title. It wasn't this genre, though, but it looks interesting enough. Sick and twisted can be good when done properly (as it were), so I will check it out! I wish you success on your book! Novel writing is a pain in the ass. The ideas come easy enough, it's just the mechanics of it wear me out.

That's what I was trying to focus on, the mechanics of it all. That's as good a way as any of putting it. I harbor no illusions that this is some kind of masterpiece, but I view it as a good learning exercise. I've got a long way to go before I achieve "rock star author" status, but I have confidence that if I keep at it, I can really make something of myself. It's really the only dream I have. Everything else in life is boring to me. I've wanted to be a writer since I was a kid, and I'm just trying, with this first attempt at a full-length novel, to put myself on the right track. If it takes me until I'm 65 years old, I'm going to achieve my goal.
I was an excellent writer in high school, and I just kind of abandoned writing for a few years. I really challenged myself with this project to put aside my tendencies towards procrastination and laziness and just get the fucking thing cranked out. And now I'm in the planning stages of another one, which will be a complete departure from this story in every way.
I'll probably continue to self-publish until I feel that I'm ready for the big leagues.

 

[The Lensman]

Ah, that might not work, then. It's got to be something along the lines of 600 X 800. Not sure about the resolution. Did you do it on Photoshop? I really need to invest in a copy of Photoshop. I actually made the cover on Lunapic, which is an online, poor-man's version of Photoshop. I cropped and merged several photos and paintings together, changing things up in order to make the original works unrecognizable. The artistic equivalent of sampling, I guess. Lol. To me it looks like a less cluttered version of Slayer's "South Of Heaven" cover.

Send me an e-mail addy and I'll send you the first, un-resized version....see how it works for you.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

With dirty writing like that, you should pitch a series to Starz on Satanic cults. I'm serious - throw in a lot of depraved sex and some supernatural elements, put it in a modern day setting (or maybe get creative and go Swingin' 70s) and you have the perfect Starz series. Beats the hell out of Arthurian legend (what were they thinking?!?)

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

Made a little "commercial" to embed on my Smashwords page. Came up with some creepy music, used some still photos and added a little tongue-in-cheek text to it. Took about an hour. Mainly for the music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzTpGilyLKY