I did something bad with a 16 yr old and dope

[K'Ehleyr]

Okay I knew I shouldn't have but I read my 16yr old son's diary. Strike me down but also show me a Mother who would not admit doing it! And I didn't go sneaking for it ~ I was mucking out his room before leave weekend this weekend and found a french exercise book, as he has french gcse oral exam today I thought he might need it! No ~ I was soon immersed into a 16 yr old's mind! And lots of smoking weed. My instinctive advice for him just don't bloody get caught smoking at school and hope it will blow over ~ pun intended. I know teenagers are teenagers so would appreciate advice on the best way to deal with it?
The rest wasn't that bad ~ well I got called a dragon, but in a wierd way I'm proud of that

 

[Jenee]

I remember those days ... and similar experiences.

I did nothing.

He's now no longer a starving artist living in southern California, but well on his way to building his own international company.

He's also 27, so ... take that however you will.

Good luck!

 

[K'Ehleyr]

^ Thank you Jenee. I suppose in a way I should be thankful that it's all he's doing! I mean I've done it, my Dad's done it and my Mum's been told to do it as she has MS.
My concerns are it gets him expelled from school ~ he has 8 weeks to go! Or that it leads to further drug use.
Your son has done good and you must have been a child mother

 

[iguana_tonante]

This is why I never kept a diary. All my secrets are securely locked in my head.

To answer you, I think you should not need to worry. Lots of people I know smocked weed when they were 16 or something like that, and they all are fine men now. Some are still smocking, but in the same way I may drink a beer or two on friday night. I understand your worries about being kicked out of school, but you just have to trust your kid not to do stupid stuff around classes, and he should be fine.

Aaah, sweet sixteen...

 

[Capn Flukie]

Dammit, that's not what I thought this thread would be about. I want a refund.

 

[Pingfah]

If your son is the experimental sort I would bet on him at least trying other drugs. I think the numbers of young people who have experimented with things like Coke, Ecstasy and LSD is severely underestimated.

It is nothing out of the ordinary I think.

 

[MANT!]

My oldest was "smoking the reefer" for about 2 years during his latter high school days. He now has a full time job and no longer has the time or the disposable inome to even think of it... same as me...


probably your son will grow out of it.. but if he spends ALL his time on the couch eating Cheetos and giggling while getting HUGE!! with grades falling...then get help..

 

[TheSeeker]

I have one question. Why are you cleaning your son's room if he's 16? Surely he's capable of that himself by now. It's one way to make sure you don't come across something you'd rather not.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

This is why I never kept a diary...
Aaah, sweet sixteen...

Exactly! And if you do keep a diary don't leave it in your room when you go back to school . Other advise taken on board, thank you

Dammit, that's not what I thought this thread would be about. I want a refund.

You just have a bad mind and a need for my 0898 number

If your son is the experimental sort I would bet on him at least trying other drugs. I think the numbers of young people who have experimented with things like Coke, Ecstasy and LSD is severely underestimated.

It is nothing out of the ordinary I think.

I've tried to talk to him sensibly and not censorially about it but I suppose I'm just going to have to trust him. Anyway we're not rich enough to cultivate a coke habit and I hope LSD would frighten the bejesus out of him.
Really appreciate advice guys. Basically his father has lost contact with him and me, and it's quite hard to approach shitty boarding school obviously!

GB ~

TS ~ it's in my contract as a mother! And all I did was move books off the floor to hoover . But point taken ~ at 16 privacy rules. So I'll just close the door from now on

 

[Australis]

Mmmm... I'd try and find a quiet way to advise him against the dope smoking. I can't help but feel I'd be a damn sight smarter and more organised if I'd tried it then quit. Some days my brain feels badly frazzled.

Aside from that, seems like normal teen stuff.

 

[FordSVT]

^Sounds like you're doing fine. It's your right as a parent to know what's going on with your son, whether he appreciates it (and likes it) or not. Privacy has limitations when it comes to the parent - child relationship.

And it doesn't sound like he's doing anything out of the ordinary, so don't worry about that unless you see it start to influence his behaviour negatively. I'd keep leaning on him about not doing it in school though, these days they are likely to bring police into it, etc. Not fun.

 

[Jan]

Let him know that you care more about his safety than anything else and make sure that he knows that if he's ever in a situation where he needs help that you're the one he should call, no questions asked - or at least not right then. I've always been grateful that an older sister did that for me and I did take her up on it once when the people I was with were too high to drive. You can have that talk without ever mentioning that you read his diary.

jan

 

[bigdaddy]

Guys keep journals?

I was afraid this topic would be about you having sex with a 16 year old, so I'm relieved.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

^^^ Sound advice ~ I'm sure I don't need to panic too much yet. And I am glad that there has been no negative 'how could you let this happen' stuff ~ yet, as that's what I was thinking. So thanks

Let him know that you care more about his safety than anything else and make sure that he knows that if he's ever in a situation where he needs help that you're the one he should call, no questions asked - or at least not right then. I've always been grateful that an older sister did that for me and I did take her up on it once when the people I was with were too high to drive. You can have that talk without ever mentioning that you read his diary.

jan

Absolutely! Best yet! Thanks jan. Primarily it is his safety I'm concerned about, I'm sure a lot of us have got ourselves 'in too deep' at some point and need just a safe ride home

and bigdaddy, I did once but that was many years ago

 

[Alpha Romeo]

Okay I knew I shouldn't have but I read my 16yr old son's diary. Strike me down but also show me a Mother who would not admit doing it! And I didn't go sneaking for it ~ I was mucking out his room before leave weekend this weekend and found a french exercise book, as he has french gcse oral exam today I thought he might need it! No ~ I was soon immersed into a 16 yr old's mind! And lots of smoking weed. My instinctive advice for him just don't bloody get caught smoking at school and hope it will blow over ~ pun intended. I know teenagers are teenagers so would appreciate advice on the best way to deal with it?
The rest wasn't that bad ~ well I got called a dragon, but in a wierd way I'm proud of that

Your son as a diary?? Ok...

 

[Rii]

Aside from that, seems like normal teen stuff.

Keeping a diary?

 

[Sledder]

Your son as a diary?? Ok...

Ya I find it very odd that a 16 year old boy would keep a diary.

 

[RevdKathy]

Here's a piece of advice I wouldn't normally give - go buy today's Daily Mail. Yeah, I know, I know. I skim it at work because of the cartoons (I'm additced to Fred Bassett). There's an article with some really fancy brain scans showing how assorted chemicals (including caffeine and nicotine) carve hunks in your brain function. Enough to put anyone off anything.

Seriously, smoking dope while his brain is still developing is Not A Good Idea, and can for some people lead to paranoia and even psychosis. Like he might start believing his mother reads his diary... I'd say talk to Frank, but I gather Frank has some pretty unhelpful info on occasion.

 

[SicOne]

Dammit, that's not what I thought this thread would be about. I want a refund.

Yeah, that's what I thought at first

But reading further, it looks like a serious situation. I will read to the end, then offer up some unsolicited advice which probably won't be substantially different from others, but which I hope helps.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Okay I knew I shouldn't have but I read my 16yr old son's diary....

Your son as a diary?? Ok...

Aside from that, seems like normal teen stuff.

Keeping a diary?

Your son as a diary?? Ok...

Ya I find it very odd that a 16 year old boy would keep a diary.

He's quite insular, and likes writing . And has lots of other stuff going on; like his dad just left his second wife with 2 kids, gcse's now, and he's just creeping out of the closet. Oh and a dragon of a mother apparently! You have to get rid of that lot somewhere.
I wonder if there are many 16 yr olds that can talk to anyone?
And bitching about your parents to your friends doesn't count

Thanks RevK, the damage to the brain is in my thoughts ~ no pun intended this time