How do you cope with severe stress?

I can't talk about what's going on (so don't ask) but how do you cope with severe stress? To the point where you can't even relax at all? And have trouble even sleeping? You have to keep your mind occupied or it goes back to things where your hands are tied at the moment or you have to wait for them to unfold. Basically, what do you do to unwind when you're stuck in a situation that will take a while to sort out and you just can't be at it 24/7 or you'll burn out?

 

Make every second you have to yourself last as long as you can. Don't think about what's behind you or in front of you, nor what's on top or below. In that second, there is nothing, only you.

 

I come on here and try to stay occupied. I play video games a lot when I’m stressed too. Anything interactive that keeps me thinking of something else.

I hope whatever you’re stressed about works itself out.

 

I haven't had much of that level of stress lately, but when I do there's generally two ways to go.
1) Exercise
2) Alcohol

Which direction I go of course depends on situation, time of day, and how recently I've done either. Middle of the day I generally go to exercise, if it's really late or I'm on an airplane or something, alcohol.

 

I like the outdoors, but I hate winter. So everything has to be indoors. I don't want to go down the alcohol path. Exercise is good, though I prefer walking. Like long walking. I also hike. But that brings me back to Evil Winter.

No noise. That would seem to do it. Somewhat. For now.

I have no TV on, nothing from YouTube, no music playing, etc. Nothing. Just quiet.

 

I typed some stuff and deleted it. Maybe putting my thoughts on "paper" is another way to deal with stress.

 

A long, hot shower. The hot water relaxes my tense muscles and there's something very symbolic about "washing away" the tension & stress.

I also find it helpful to get involved in some kind of busy-work-- something to keep my hands busy: a video game, wash dishes, clean the tub, etc.

 

I think this is a good idea. I have some experience with the kind of stress/anxiety you are talking about. To achieve what Amaris is talking about there are some tools you can use. For example you can put your feet on the ground and feel the floor with the soles of your feet. Then you put something in your hand and focus all your attention on how it feels to have it in your hand. How does the surface of the item feel? The weight and shape? There is nothing but you and the item. Hope this help.

 

If I find myself awake in the middle of the night without any hope of going to sleep (which is happening right now, in fact ) I find it relaxing to just hang out right here. Just surfing the board for awhile is a great way to beat stress. Drifting in and out of conversations, listening to what other people are talking about, is a quite effective way to handle the blues.

That said, and I know I've beat this into the ground a hundred times (but I can't help it )... baseball is one of my favorite ways to pass the time. Now that the season's over, I might go down to the TV and watch some old games. During the season, actually being AT a game is a great way to pass the time...the roar of the crowd, the crack of the bat, the smell of the food, that cures a lot of my ills.

It's like what Rogers Hornsby once said: “People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.”

 

Part of why I came back here wasn't just because of Discovery but also to get away from what I've been dealing with in Real Life. It's been a Living Hell.

Avoiding the news is good too. Instead of just focusing on my own problems, then the focus turns to the problems of The World too. It just amplifies everything.

 

I tend to handle it badly, fail to seek out the help I need in time, and end up as a quivering sleepless wreck so tense it hurts to breath.

It took me a long time to recognise that I was stressed, even as others commented on what was on my plate. I thought I could manage it, if I could just get to the next mile post.

My advice. Find someone, maybe a doctor, to talk it through and help you find the way out. Sooner rather than later.

I find posting here helps me, but it’s a distraction from the stress, not relief.

 

I have spent a LOT of time pvp'ing in world of warcraft which for my character means I'm bashing the living shit out of other characters in an incremental reward based addiction. I credit it with to some extent rewiring my brain. I find it positive and calming. Just writing about it now when I haven't done any pvping for a few months I can feel a strange meditative calm in the back of my mind as well as wanting to get back to it.

 

As to music, it depends. You're favorite music might work - at least a little. When I'm stressed I'm sensitive to music I find annoying. Then I switch it off or look for another song.

And: under severe stress I tend to put on a lot of weight. I have to eschew alcohol, caffeine and unhealthy food. And I have to workout a lot harder.

 

Firstly, I am sorry for anyone who is going through a period of chronic stress, regardless of the exact reason. I am with you, been dealing with it myself since ~ late 2013 (family issue) and it is not enjoyable by any means. Matter of fact, imho, recovering from a major physical injury (there are exceptions of course) is far less stressful than coping with severe psychological stress for any length of time.
Having said that...

...generally what I do is try to spend time alone as much as possible. This doesn't work for everyone, but it helps me. So, watch movies, listen to music, spend time in nature (this time of year not so much when it's freezing), anything that helps you relax and brings you peace and/or enjoyment. Easier said than done, but... I don't avoid my friends and family exactly, but time alone (and doing things for myself that I enjoy) is really what helps me heal. This is when the issue causing the stress is out of my control and I really just need to endure. If it was something that could be resolved with intervention of sorts, then I would try to act and improve the situation.

 

I'm really sorry you're suffering through stress @Lord Garth, I can imagine how you're feeling, I've had periods of my life where I've felt trapped and can't bear to think about my future, where it's almost crippling.

What's often worked for me is retreating into fantasy novels. I feel fantasy has worked best for me, because it's not cerebral like science fiction, it's just escapism with people who live completely different lives than I do, I can start focusing on their problems and issues instead of mine. I feel this really helps too when I'm suffering from insomnia, if I am restless in bed, I'll get up and read a chapter, and that usually will clear my mind enough to go back upstairs to sleep.

I sort of feel like that old thing where you "fight an idea with another idea", and when I can't handle thinking about my own life, I need to really get absorbed into someone else's.

 

Video games can work too but only when I’m so into a game I can just play for hours then be surprised how much time passed. Which isn’t always available. I can’t just pick up a random game and do it.

 

I've been dealing with a lot of work stress this year, so I fell back on stress eating (resulting in a big weight gain) as a coping technique. Fortunately, my work has a great welfare officer and through her I've started seeing a coach to help, so have been undertaking cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnosis/guided meditation. But sometimes just talking to people can be all you need. I did take a week off work a few months ago, and spent the time with friends and family, as well as got out walking and took time to decompile everything going on in my head.

"Help" is only a four-letter word, but it is so hard to say. As soon as you do you will be amazed at how people around you can help, everyone has dealt with stress, anxiety, depression and other mental health issues at some point in their lives, so can relate and can offer a sympathetic ear if nothing else.

You can try to distract yourself, but it might be better to address the issue. If it's work-related (or if work is adding more pressure on top of personal issues) then see if there is anything that could be amended or changed to help ease it. One thing I have learned this year is that when it comes to your well-being and mental health, you need to be selfish and make/take time for yourself.

I hope it eases up and you get the chance to look after yourself.

 

I'm sorry you're going through something this stressful. I know a lot of us sympathize.

Writing can be cathartic. If you enjoy it, I highly suggest it as a method for dealing with stress. Whether anyone ever reads what you write or not is not the point. Just getting your thoughts or feelings (or stories) out might be enough for you to cope.

As for what I do...I tend not to follow any of the great advice I've ever been given and I shut down, as with the last 48 hours or so. I sleep. I ignore the world. I dream, but those dreams tend to be stressful in and of themselves.

 

I can totally sympathise with you Lord Garth. I was in a stressful situation for five months. I literally couldn't relax or sleep. The stress caused by other people was crazy. In the end, I completely removed myself from bad people, their poor decisions and everything imploded in my absence a month later. I'm grateful that I did because the people whose job it was to stop the situation weren't helping at all. There were plenty of times that I felt my hands were tied. Even when I said or did the right thing.

To be honest, the situation still exists albeit on a smaller scale. Same sh**, different person. At least, someone who was part of the original problem. Things are quieter now but not perfect. The difference is that I've set firmer boundaries on what I can and won't tolerate. I've had to speak my truth and keep speaking it.

Forward planning helped to reduce the stress. I couldn't control other people's BS but I could filter most of it out. If I had somewhere better to be, albeit for a few hours, then it took the edge off. As a result, I connected with different people, and had rare experiences and opportunities that outweighed the BS. I have good memories to look back on rather than bad ones.

Now, I'm in a healing phase.

Warm milk and honey might also help you to fall asleep quickly. Recently, I've bought a deep sleep duvet which has really helped to ease muscle tension.

Don't let stress rule your life or it'll rule you.