Good Husband or Emasculated Wuss?

[Tiberius Jim]

A friend of mine posted this photo on Facebook just now after she took her kids to what I assume to be a Chuck E Cheese's or a similar type of establishment. What we see here is a man not only holding but wearing his wife's purse, taking photos with what is clearly her diamond encrusted iPhone.

[edited to remove photo]

A bit of the explanation from my friend:

"It's the way he's holding it lol he carried it around the whole time like that!"
"he held it the whole time even when she was standing with him. I thought it was a tad excessive, which is why I had to take a picture. He had a phone as well btw. All the other moms were making comments too, so it wasn't just me"

Her basic opinion what that the guy was totally whipped. There were dissenting opinions that he was simply being a good husband and carrying her purse while the wife played with the kids, happily putting his own masculinity on the line. After seeing the mini-debate that ensued, I thought what I've thought on numerous occasions... "I wonder what TBBS thinks?"

 

[Amaris]

A good husband. What does carrying a purse have to do with masculinity?

 

[Tiberius Jim]

For my friend, it was the way in which he not only held it but actually wore it. And that he held it like that even when he and his wife were together (i.e. she could have taken it back from him) That, and the taking of the pictures with the incredibly feminine phone.

 

[Amaris]

For my friend, it was the way in which he not only held it but actually wore it. That, and the taking of the pictures with the incredibly feminine phone.

He's holding her purse. He can't leave it on the ground, it can be stolen. Holding it on his shoulder keeps his hands free, in this case, to take pictures.

Why is the phone feminine?

It's also kind of odd, if I may say so, that the women seem to be insulting the man by comparing him to, well, women. In a sort of "Ha! Look at this guy! He looks as weak and pathetic as we do!" kind of way.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

For my friend, it was the way in which he not only held it but actually wore it. That, and the taking of the pictures with the incredibly feminine phone.

He's holding her purse. He can't leave it on the ground, it can be stolen. Holding it on his shoulder keeps his hands free, in this case, to take pictures.

Why is the phone feminine?

Apparently it was pink and covered in jewels.

And sure, he put it on the shoulder to take pictures (I'm still thinking he could put it on the floor between his feet or something) but why keep holding it long after his wife has returned?

 

[Amaris]

Apparently it was pink and covered in jewels.

Does the color pink have a vagina that I'm unaware of? Do only women wear jewelry?
It would be like laughing at a woman for wearing pants. Only men wear pants! What a silly girl!

Another example: Back before the 1930s, pink was a "boy's color". Colors and gems are genderless.

And sure, he put it on the shoulder to take pictures (I'm still thinking he could put it on the floor between his feet or something) but why keep holding it long after his wife has returned?

Why not? Maybe she appreciated her husband for carrying it in the first place. Perhaps it was heavy and he offered to hold it for her so she could move about without pain?

There are a number of reasons why he would continue to hold the purse.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Her purse is too heavy for her? That seems like quite a bit of extrapolation. Why would a woman go out of the house with a purse that's so heavy that it is painful for her to hold? In the 3.5 years I've been with my wife I've never once had her complain that her purse is too heavy. Shopping bags, sure...but not her purse.

And it may not be to you but to many men, pink is strictly a feminine color. I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine. You can't be saying that a pink bedazzled phone case seems in any way masculine...right?

 

[Amaris]

Her purse is too heavy for her? That seems like quite a bit of extrapolation. Why would a woman go out of the house with a purse that's so heavy that it is painful for her to hold? In the 3.5 years I've been with my wife I've never once had her complain that her purse is too heavy. Shopping bags, sure...but not her purse.

If she's been carrying it around for a while, it can become heavy. Maybe she needs her arms free for something. Maybe she went to the restroom, and when she came back he told her it was okay, and he could hold onto the purse for her. Nowhere, at any point, am I seeing anything that points to a "wuss". All I'm seeing so far is "husband who is considerate toward his wife".

And it may not be to you but to many men, pink is strictly a feminine color.

Really? Which men?

While you're compiling that list, could you tell me why pink is strictly a color for women?
And if you have time, how about explaining why liking the color pink means you're gay?

I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine.

So what you're saying is that, as a straight guy, you like things that remind you of men.

You can't be saying that a pink bedazzled phone case seems in any way masculine...right?

It is neither masculine nor feminine. It is a genderless object.

Also, I'm curious as to why those women seem to think it's a bad thing to be feminine.

 

[Roger Wilco]

I don't see what the problem is.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

And it may not be to you but to many men, pink is strictly a feminine color.

Really? Which men?

I said many men, as in "I could go take a poll of straight guys and ask them if they think pink is a feminine color and I'd put money on it that they would think that it is."

While you're compiling that list, could you tell me why pink is strictly a color for women?
And if you have time, how about explaining why liking the color pink means you're gay?

When did I say that liking the color pink makes someone gay...?

I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine.

So what you're saying is that, as a straight guy, you like things that remind you of men.

No, I'm saying I like masculine colors and styles...big difference.

You can't be saying that a pink bedazzled phone case seems in any way masculine...right?

It is neither masculine nor feminine. It is a genderless object.

Also, I'm curious as to why those women seem to think it's a bad thing to be feminine.

I'm guessing they like their men to be masculine. Why is that a bad thing?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Why would a woman go out of the house with a purse that's so heavy that it is painful for her to hold?

BECAUSE IT IS FULL OF SHIT.

Like a lot people's purses/backpacks/bags.

And it may not be to you but to many men, pink is strictly a feminine color. I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine. You can't be saying that a pink bedazzled phone case seems in any way masculine...right?

Are pink flowers all girls?

As to diamonds, those things are the toughest hardest naturally occurring stuffs EVER on the entire planet! Not masculine enough for you?

 

[Amaris]

I said many men, as in "I could go take a poll of straight guys and ask them if they think pink is a feminine color and I'd put money on it that they would think that it is."

Does that make it feminine because some straight guys say so? If a bunch of straight guys got together and called a gay man a "fag", or a "queer", would they be correct in doing so? I don't think you'd say yes, so why is it okay to poll the consensus of like minded guys who seem concerned about other people's masculinity?

Who defines masculinity? The "manly" men? The straight men? If so, why?

When did I say that liking the color pink makes someone gay...?

When you said "I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine."

No, I'm saying I like masculine colors and styles...big difference.

What masculine colors and styles? Why would you wear something to enhance your masculinity?

Do you know what my favorite color is? It's pink. Without knowing anything else about me, would you say that makes me effeminate?

I'm guessing they like their men to be masculine. Why is that a bad thing?

So they like their men to be masculine, that's not the problem. The problem is where they use their own gender as a diminutive toward a man who is deferential to his wife.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I bet if it was the woman hauling around a guy's crap all day no one would be pointing at her and saying she was dick whipped.

 

[Amaris]

I bet if it was the woman hauling around a guy's crap all day no one would be pointing at her and saying she was dick whipped.

You've nailed the part that confuses me. Why would a woman use her own gender as a put down?

"Boy, he must feel stupid, what with respecting us and giving our needs consideration instead of blustering and acting like a child!"
"Yeah, what a wuss!"

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Why would a woman go out of the house with a purse that's so heavy that it is painful for her to hold?

BECAUSE IT IS FULL OF SHIT.

Like a lot people's purses/backpacks/bags.

Still, assuming he's holding it for her due to it's weight is just that...an assumption. I brought this up to my wife and she agreed that the solution for her would to be to not put so much stuff in her purse. I would hold it for her if it were too heavy, but after that one time I'd say we should go over her purse-packing priorities.

And it may not be to you but to many men, pink is strictly a feminine color. I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine. You can't be saying that a pink bedazzled phone case seems in any way masculine...right?

Are pink flowers all girls?

Honestly I wasn't aware flowers had gender. Nor do I see how that's relevant to this particular discussion.

As to diamonds, those things are the toughest hardest naturally occurring stuffs EVER on the entire planet! Not masculine enough for you?

Not me personally, no. Many wedding band options had diamonds in them but I elected for something without them as the tungsten band I chose looks, IMO, more masculine.

 

[Roger Wilco]

I wouldn't buy a pink case for my phone either or anything with diamonds, but making a picture with you woman's phone - what's the big deal?

And what's the problem with carrying the purse? Is he supposed to put it in a corner and risk it getting stolen or whatever?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Why would a woman go out of the house with a purse that's so heavy that it is painful for her to hold?

BECAUSE IT IS FULL OF SHIT.

Like a lot people's purses/backpacks/bags.

Still, assuming he's holding it for her due to it's weight is just that...an assumption. I brought this up to my wife and she agreed that the solution for her would to be to not put so much stuff in her purse. I would hold it for her if it were too heavy, but after that one time I'd say we should go over her purse-packing priorities. .

So if she inconvenienced you more than once you'd want a say in what she was lugging?

 

[Roger Wilco]

I bet if it was the woman hauling around a guy's crap all day no one would be pointing at her and saying she was dick whipped.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I wouldn't buy a pink case for my phone either or anything with diamonds, but making a picture with you woman's phone - what's the big deal?

And what's the problem with carrying the purse? Is he supposed to put it in a corner and risk it getting stolen or whatever?

Well I wouldn't buy a pink case with diamonds but that's just because it's not me. I like my diamonds real and I'm going to assume it's just cut glass on a phone case. And I like my phones looking kind of Star Trekkish and so far Star Trek has been a bit lacking in the pink department. Though I'm pretty sure Phlox wears pink boxers. But that's just me.

Taste is real, assigning immutable gender to colors is not.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

I said many men, as in "I could go take a poll of straight guys and ask them if they think pink is a feminine color and I'd put money on it that they would think that it is."

Does that make it feminine because some straight guys say so? If a bunch of straight guys got together and called a gay man a "fag", or a "queer", would they be correct in doing so? I don't think you'd say yes, so why is it okay to poll the consensus of like minded guys who seem concerned about other people's masculinity?

To me, what makes it feminine is the same thing that makes us see red as "stop" or "danger" and green as "go". If you have a baby girl, you get pink balloons, if it's a boy, you get blue. Pink, feminine, blue, masculine. I'm not making this stuff up myself, it's just the way the certain colors are typically perceived.

Who defines masculinity? The "manly" men? The straight men? If so, why?

I would have to say society as a whole dictates what it deems masculine.

When did I say that liking the color pink makes someone gay...?

When you said "I would never put a pink case on my phone, nor would I buy one with jewels or diamonds on it. I'm a straight guy and I like my things to be masculine."

Seems to me that you're inferring quite a bit there.

No, I'm saying I like masculine colors and styles...big difference.

What masculine colors and styles? Why would you wear something to enhance your masculinity?

As in I wear a lot of blues, blacks an darker shades of other colors. I don't wear them to enhance anything, they are simply my preference. Why is it okay for someone's preference to be pink but when I prefer blues and blacks all of a sudden I am "trying to enhance my masculinity"?

Do you know what my favorite color is? It's pink. Without knowing anything else about me, would you say that makes me effeminate?

Pretty much, yeah.

I'm guessing they like their men to be masculine. Why is that a bad thing?

So they like their men to be masculine, that's not the problem. The problem is where they use their own gender as a diminutive toward a man who is deferential to his wife.

Maybe they don't hold the same respect for a guy who is seen as subservient to his wife as they would one who is at the same level as she is?