First off, I'm ok. Not starting this thread because anything particularly bad is happening, just reflecting. That said...
Getting old sucks. Of course it beats the alternative, but still...
In a couple weeks I'll be 49, just one year away from half a century. Arggh.
I know some are you are thinking, "49 is still kinda young." No, it is not, compared to someone 100 years old maybe, but no.
I'm the last of all six of my siblings. My sister Rebecca died at 31, my sister Deborah at 47, my brother Stanley at 53, my brother Charlie at 61, and my sister Rose at 63. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, all looong gone. Time has orphaned me, I'm just the weird old uncle to a scattering of nieces and nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews, and great-great-nieces and great-great-nephews. Jeebus! I've lost some of them too, along with a few friends.
My eyesight is getting worse, though it was never good to start with. I'm more susceptible to cold now. I used to be able to hike 20 miles just for fun, now the 10 minute walk to work seems like forever. Women that I would normally like and be attracted to I have to avoid, so I don't come across as some old perv, which is tough since I work at a college filled with them. I find myself getting more clumsier, and making more and more spelling and grammar mistakes (bless you edit button). The gray is really starting to show now. My sense of humor is wearing thin as well, which sucks because many believe that is my best quality.
It sounds like I'm depressed, but I'm not. I could've died many, many times from things happening in my life, but I didn't. I just think in order to move on in my life I have to acknowledge these things right now. My family is gone, but I'm alive, so I have to experience life as it comes, because they can't. I try to appreciate being able to see the sun and sky, watch my favorite show, listen to music I like, eat foods I love, laugh with people I care about, because they can't, and someday neither will I.
Getting old sucks, but death sucks harder.
Thanks for reading all this if you did.
Now, page 2...
Getting old sucks. Of course it beats the alternative, but still...
In a couple weeks I'll be 49, just one year away from half a century. Arggh.
I know some are you are thinking, "49 is still kinda young." No, it is not, compared to someone 100 years old maybe, but no.
I'm the last of all six of my siblings. My sister Rebecca died at 31, my sister Deborah at 47, my brother Stanley at 53, my brother Charlie at 61, and my sister Rose at 63. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, all looong gone. Time has orphaned me, I'm just the weird old uncle to a scattering of nieces and nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews, and great-great-nieces and great-great-nephews. Jeebus! I've lost some of them too, along with a few friends.
My eyesight is getting worse, though it was never good to start with. I'm more susceptible to cold now. I used to be able to hike 20 miles just for fun, now the 10 minute walk to work seems like forever. Women that I would normally like and be attracted to I have to avoid, so I don't come across as some old perv, which is tough since I work at a college filled with them. I find myself getting more clumsier, and making more and more spelling and grammar mistakes (bless you edit button). The gray is really starting to show now. My sense of humor is wearing thin as well, which sucks because many believe that is my best quality.
It sounds like I'm depressed, but I'm not. I could've died many, many times from things happening in my life, but I didn't. I just think in order to move on in my life I have to acknowledge these things right now. My family is gone, but I'm alive, so I have to experience life as it comes, because they can't. I try to appreciate being able to see the sun and sky, watch my favorite show, listen to music I like, eat foods I love, laugh with people I care about, because they can't, and someday neither will I.
Getting old sucks, but death sucks harder.
Thanks for reading all this if you did.
Now, page 2...