Funny/Memorable Favorite DS9 Lines.

[CmndrSela318]

OK my fellow DS9 fans, I wanna read some of your favorite lines. They can funny or serious. One line or a short scene of memorable lines. Example of a short scene of memorable lines would be the season 4 episode Bar Association scene where Sisko comes in to area where the holding cells are. Standing left to right in one of those holding cells is Worf, Bashir and O'Brien. That whole little scene was memorable and funny. I'll start this topic with my favorite season 7 Worf line.

From the episode Take Me Out To The Holosuite.
Worf: Death to the opposition!

 

[garamet]

Q to Sisko: "You hit me! Picard never hit me!"

Sisko: "I'm not Picard."

 

[Mysterion]

Odo (appalled): you shot him in the back!

Garak (matter of factly): Well, of course. It's much safer that way.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Quark: "The Jem'Hadar don't eat, don't drink and they don't have sex. And if that wasn't bad enough, the Founders don't eat, and don't drink and don't have sex either... which, between you and me, makes my financial future less than promising." -

Tora Ziyal: "It might not be so bad. For all you know, the Vorta could be gluttonous, alcoholic sex maniacs."

For some reason, that always makes me laugh.

The scene in "The Way of the Warrior" with Quark, Garak and root beer is a great exchange, great because it has a serious point to make, and shows how alien civilizations can support the Federation, and appreciate it, without necessarily having to be assimilated into it.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Odo (appalled): you shot him in the back!

Garak (matter of factly): Well, of course. It's much safer that way.

Let's just say "Garak has a scene" and leave it at that

 

[Photon]

OK my fellow DS9 fans, I wanna read some of your favorite lines. They can funny or serious. One line or a short scene of memorable lines. Example of a short scene of memorable lines would be the season 4 episode Bar Association scene where Sisko comes in to area where the holding cells are. Standing left to right in one of those holding cells is Worf, Bashir and O'Brien. That whole little scene was memorable and funny. I'll start this topic with my favorite season 7 Worf line.

From the episode Take Me Out To The Holosuite.
Worf: Death to the opposition!

Nice Hat-
Commander Worf

 

[Rush Limborg]

From "Penumbra":

Ezri: You know what--you're CRAZY!

Worf: YOU could make anyone crazy!

Ezri: DON'T turn your back--talk to me, you COWARD!

Worf (dangerous tone): Do not call me a coward....

Ezri: UGH!!! I can't BELIEVE I'm--stuck here with you!

Worf: Perhaps you would rather be back on the station with Captain Boday...(visually "checks her out")...you slI'vak!

(Ezri's look of righteous outrage is priceless--she knows all too well what Worf just called her....)

 

[Pemmer Harge]

I'd like the Root Beer conversation even better if it was Dandelion and Burdock...

 

[Bones2]

Garak: "You mean you don't know about the plan? You see, I pretend to be their friend, and then I shoot you."

The Search, Part 2. Makes me laugh every time. Great delivery.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Garak: "You mean you don't know about the plan? You see, I pretend to be their friend, and then I shoot you."

The Search, Part 2. Makes me laugh every time. Great delivery.

My sister's favourite Trek moment ever.

 

[DevilEyes]

I have tons of favorite lines from DS9... But ltos of them are serious (strangely enough, some of the best ones are from Quark - and I'm referring to actual serious comments!). But as it seems that most people are going for funny, here's a few funny ones.



Kira and Jadzia talking about men ("The Maquis" part 1)

Kira: Feel like getting together for dinner tonight?
Jadzia: I can't. I'm having dinner with Captain Boday.
Kira: The Gallamite? You're going out on a date with *him*?
Jadzia: Is something wrong with that?
Major Kira: [ironic] No. Not at all.
Jadzia: He happens to be brilliant. His brain is twice the size of yours and mine.
Kira: I know, I've seen it.
Jadzia: It's not his fault Gallamites have transparent skulls.
Kira: No, it's not. It's not exactly the view I want to have with dinner.
Jadzia: You know, Kira, sometimes I think you place too much emphasis on how men look.
Kira: What's that supposed to mean?
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: Nothing.
Kira: Look, when I kiss a man goodnight, I like to know where I'm kissing him.
Jadzia: I guess seven lifetimes gives me a somewhat broader perspective.
Kira: Well, since I just have one lifetime, I have to be a little more particular about whom I go out with.
Jadzia: I never said I wasn't particular.
Kira: I'm not the one who dates Ferengis.
Jadzia: And what's that supposed to mean?
Kira: Nothing.

and of course you have to have Garak somewhere:

(after Garak's incident with the Klingons, in "Way of the Warrior" )
Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!
Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^ And I love how he continues:

"Thanks to you, my injuries are nearly healed--but the damage I inflicted on them...will last a lifetime! "

 

[RyuRoots]

This always cracked me up:

Weyoun: Have they agreed to cooperate?
Damar: No. (laughing) Maybe you should talk to Worf again!

 

[HairOfTheDog]

Sisko to Ezri Dax, about Worf:

"You just say the word, and I will intimidate him for you."

 

[CmndrSela318]

Example of a short scene of memorable lines would be the season 4 episode Bar Association scene where Sisko comes in to area where the holding cells are. Standing left to right in one of those holding cells is Worf, Bashir and O'Brien. That whole little scene was memorable and funny.

Here's ^^that scene^^ I was referring to.
This is from the season 4 episode "Bar Association".

Sisko: I cannot believe what I'm seeing.
Worf: Sir. If I could explain...
Sisko: Mr. Worf, do I look like I'm ready for an explanation? Three of my senior staff, brawling on the Promenade.
O'Brien: With all due respect, sir, we, we weren't brawling.
Sisko: Maybe you should take a closer look at Dr. Bashir's forehead.
O'Brien: Well, he shouldn't have got in the way.
Bashir: I was trying... (to Sisko now) I was trying to stop the fight.
Worf: We were not fighting.
Sisko: Then what were you doing?
O'Brien: Well, we...
Worf: Having a difference of opinion.
O'Brien: Yeah, I suppose...towards the end there, we might have...done a bit of shoving.
Sisko: According to Odo Dr. Bashir was shoved over a table.
Worf: Now that was an accident.
Bashir: It was just that things got a little out of hand.
Sisko: Things got more than a little out of hand. I suppose I'm going to have to talk to Quark myself. Find a way to settle this strike get things back to normal around here.
*Sisko starts to leave*
O'Brien: Uh, Captain?
*Sisko stops and turns to face O'Brien*
O'Brien: Can we leave now?
Sisko: I'll tell Constable Odo to let you go...in the morning.
*Sisko leaves*
Bashir: Well, I hope you're proud of yourselves.

 

[Mysterion]

^^^^
right up there with the "Kirk and the line-up" scene from The Trouble With Tribbles.

 

[Eyes]

Weyoun: Have they agreed to cooperate?
Damar: No. (laughing) Maybe you should talk to Worf again!

From later on in the episode, this one always gets me:

Weyoun: Escaped? How could this have happened?
Damar: You're the one that put the Jem'Hadar in charge of the detention area.
Weyoun: Thank you for reminding me.
Thot Gor: (noise)
Weyoun: No, I assure you this is not typical of our security procedures. The Founder. She wishes to see me. She has to be told about this.
Damar: Oh, I'm sure she'll understand. But if she doesn't, I look forward to meeting Weyoun Nine.

 

[Marie1]

Jadzia : Am I really that interesting? You've been standing there staring at me for the last two hours.
Virak'kara: You are part of my combat team. I must learn to understand your behaviour - anticipate your actions.
Jadzia : There must be something you'd rather do. Maybe get some sleep?
Virak'kara: We don't sleep.
Jadzia : How about getting something to eat?
Virak'kara: The white is the only thing we need.
Jadzia : Don't sleep... don't eat... What do you do for relaxation?
Virak'kara: Relaxation would only make us weak.
Jadzia : You people are no fun at all - I'm glad I'm not a Jem'Hadar woman.
Virak'kara: There are no Jem'Hadar women.
Jadzia : So what do you do? Lay eggs?
Virak'kara: Jem'Hadar are bred in birthing chambers. We are able to fight within three days of our emergence.
Jadzia : Lucky you. So let me get this straight: no sleep - no food - no women. No wonder you're so angry. After thirty or forty years of that I'd be angry too.
Virak'kara: No Jem'Hadar has ever lived thirty years.
Jadzia : How old are you?
Virak'kara: I am eight.
Jadzia : I would have guessed at least fifteen.
Virak'kara: Few Jem'Hadar live that long. If we reach twenty, we're considered honored elders.
[leans in]
Virak'kara: How old are you?
Jadzia : I stopped counting at three hundred.
Virak'kara: You don't look it.
Jadzia : Thank you.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Jadzia : Am I really that interesting? You've been standing there staring at me for the last two hours.
Virak'kara: You are part of my combat team. I must learn to understand your behaviour - anticipate your actions.
Jadzia : There must be something you'd rather do. Maybe get some sleep?
Virak'kara: We don't sleep.
Jadzia : How about getting something to eat?
Virak'kara: The white is the only thing we need.
Jadzia : Don't sleep... don't eat... What do you do for relaxation?
Virak'kara: Relaxation would only make us weak.
Jadzia : You people are no fun at all - I'm glad I'm not a Jem'Hadar woman.
Virak'kara: There are no Jem'Hadar women.
Jadzia : So what do you do? Lay eggs?
Virak'kara: Jem'Hadar are bred in birthing chambers. We are able to fight within three days of our emergence.
Jadzia : Lucky you. So let me get this straight: no sleep - no food - no women. No wonder you're so angry. After thirty or forty years of that I'd be angry too.
Virak'kara: No Jem'Hadar has ever lived thirty years.
Jadzia : How old are you?
Virak'kara: I am eight.
Jadzia : I would have guessed at least fifteen.
Virak'kara: Few Jem'Hadar live that long. If we reach twenty, we're considered honored elders.
[leans in]
Virak'kara: How old are you?
Jadzia : I stopped counting at three hundred.
Virak'kara: You don't look it.
Jadzia : Thank you.

I really like that exchange, too. I can see why you like it so much, as it's probably the defining Jem'Hadar moment of the series...

 

[CmndrSela318]

Here are my 2 favorite Jadzia-Kira scenes from the season 2 episode "The Seige".

Jadzia: Have I mentioned how allergic Trills are to insect bites?
Kira: Really?
Jadzia: Well, the biochemical connections between host and symbiont can't tolerate the... oh! Whoa! What's that? Is that a spider or a dog?
Kira: Palukoo. The Bajoran moons are full of them.
Jadzia: Oh, I suppose you used to make them your pets and, uh, sing songs about them around the campfire.
Kira: No. We used to eat them. There it is.
*Kira and Jadzia approaching the aircraft/shuttle/ship whatever.*
Jadzia: Are you sure this thing is supposed to fly?
Kira: Oh, I've been in alot worse.
*After Kira opens the aircraft/shuttle/ship whatever.*
Jadzia: I guess the Bajoran resistance must've had a lot of short pilots.
Kira: Ha, no, just short engineers. They were alway building these things without thinking.
Jadzia: Encouraging.
Kira: Just bend your knees. You'll fit. Now the real trick will be to fire up these thrusters after all this time. It was hard enough to get them going when they were being used everyday.
Jadzia: We'll get them fired up. You don't have to worry about that.
Kira: Oh, you're sure, huh?
Jadzia: Yep. I have no intention of getting stuck here eating palukoos.

couple of scenes later...
Kira: You got it!
*Jadzia coughing*
Jadzia: Don't turn the engines off. We'll never get them started again.
Kira: Let's go.
Jadzia: Thank you, Tobin.
Kira: Dax, come on.
Jadzia: Oh, the hell with it. If it's gonna fly, it's gonna fly.
Kira: Problem?
Jadzia: No, everything's wonderful. OW!
Kira: The knees. Oh, listen to that sound. That sure brings back some memories.
Jadzia: How did you ever win a war in these things?
Kira: We were the insects, Lieutenant. The Cardassians were just as allergic as Trills. Is the proximity system working?
*Jadzia thumps it*
Jadzia: I think so.
Kira: All right, let's see if we can get out of here without bouncing off any walls.