Falling For A Complete Stranger

[AstroSmurf]

I don't believe in love at first sight. Never have. Never will. I chalk it up to sexual attraction being misinterpreted as something more. Rather than "love" being based on true feelings and a genuine attraction to someone personally, lust fills in the blanks. For me love has always been more about personality and chemistry which takes time and effort to establish.

Several days ago, I had a revelation while watching a news piece on this lawyer and his story about coming out to his college football team. I was amazed by the story and his candor. I was also immediately physically attracted to him. I also got a kick out of the way he phrased some of his sentences too. Like most of these "attractions", I brushed it off and moved on. But I have found myself thinking more and more about him. I have even watched the interview over and over again. I can't help myself. I have even started dreaming about him. (Nothing sorted, mind you.) And I hate to admit this but... I friended him on Facebook. Now I am hoping that he will notice me and send me a message or something. After twenty years of complete rationality with "love at first sight" I am flummoxed that I have... well, fallen... for someone I have never met before. I want to know everything about him. I want to sit and talk in a coffee shop until they throw us out. I want to know about the charities he works for. I want to know about his parents... See, this is not me at all.

So what do you kids think? Is love at first sight possible? Has it worked for any of you? Is there a way to combat this error in my logic or do I just need to give in and go with it?

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

There was a woman I fell hard for the first time I saw her, before she spoke - I shrugged it off, mainly because she was not of the age of consent (I was twenty at the time).

Met her again when she was twenty-seven, and the next ten years of our lives were...remarkable in ways I won't try to describe. Some of it was awful, and some just brilliant.

And then that was over, because I wasn't worthy. And it was all a long time ago, now.

 

[Jetfire]

I was in love with someone before I saw them...seeing her was icing on the cake.

 

[Finn]

I have to admit I did notice my future fiancee the first time I saw her. She was 22 and very cute. I was 26. But it was a fleeting thought for it seemed like a snowball chance in hell and that she wasn't avaliable. Almost 3 years would pass before we got together.

 

[bigdaddy]

Sure. I met a now friend of mine and as soon as I met I felt like I had known him all my life. Don't ask why, just enjoy it until it ends.

 

[Goji]

I have to really know someone before I can like them, so it'd be pretty impossible for me. I don't even feel comfortable being around strangers all that often.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

I have to really know someone before I can like them, so it'd be pretty impossible for me. I don't even feel comfortable being around strangers all that often.

So often, the more I know someone, the less I like them.

Last chick I had a crush on, I really grew to dislike intensely. She probably never knew how I felt, just wondered why I started avoiding her as much as a possible.

Love at first sight is just day dreaming, kids.

 

[Goji]

Oh, there are definitely a lot of people I start to dislike once I know them. But there are some that I start to like, and that handful is infinitely more than the number of strangers I've ever fallen for.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Love at first sight is just day dreaming, kids.

You sound like me... until three days ago. I still don't get it.

And I am one of those people that needs to know someone better before I get all emotionally wrapped up in them. That is why I find this one completely confusing.

I am rather empathic about people though. I usually know right away if someone is a decent person or needs to be avoided. Maybe my "attraction" to this person is an extension of that... or maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.

Oh and another thing that I should have included, I am perfectly happy on my own. I am not even looking right now. But bam! there it is.

 

[Jetfire]

^
Just be cool and be casual...getting all crazy about someone this early will only get you in trouble...emotionally.

[EDIT]

I saw this girl when I was in HS...everyday I would just stand around where she was sitting and just look at her...I was too afraid to talk to her and in my mind had built her up to be so great...fast forward, the next year I had a girlfriend and others I was talking too I actually ended up in a class with this girl I was totally in love with the year before but didn't speak to...having this class with her...I realized how silly I was...coz she was nothing like i imagined...sure she was pretty and all but at times found my self turned off by the things coming out of her mouth when she spoke.

 

[Gepard]

...remarkable in ways I won't try to describe. Some of it was awful, and some just brilliant.

And then that was over, because I wasn't worthy. And it was all a long time ago, now.

You had sex with Battlestar Galactica?

 

[Kestra]

So what do you kids think? Is love at first sight possible? Has it worked for any of you? Is there a way to combat this error in my logic or do I just need to give in and go with it?

What you talked about personally seems to be infatuation. I'm not saying that love cannot factor in, but at this point it does seem to be infatuation.

Love at first sight and falling for a complete stranger are ... different. I think there are many forms of love, and it's possible that the seeds of this could be planted at first sight. Falling in love with a complete stranger could happen but at that point, it's a shallow, simple love. More of a love with an idea than the person.

I believe it is possible to fall in love with someone you haven't met in person (which has been discussed before). I also believe that love changes and deepens as two individuals learn more about each other. But I don't think that negates early feelings of love necessarily.

Then again, we all work to different definitions.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Astro, I think you already know the answer to your question, and you can't be in love with a person you don't know or you just met. Then again, there are different kinds of "love," but I'm sensing more of a feeling of admiration from you. As someone who hasn't been in a relationship in centuries, I know what it's like to have these crushes on people, like that hot Armenian guy at work. And these things are normal and healthy to a certain extent. When you start stalking him, it's time to seek professional help. You, on the other hand, are very smart, perceptive, and rational.

 

[Nardpuncher]

Tell us who it is so we can see their profile pic on facebook.

 

[TheBrew]

I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
That we'd just met, she's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met

 

[Mr Awe]

I think love at first sight is possible. I think the OP is correct that often times lust at first sight is mistaken for love at first sight. It's much more easy to fall in lust based on visual cues alone. However, I had it really happen to me once. So, I have no doubt that it happens. But, people have to realize that it's easy to be confused.

Mr Awe

 

[CaptainStoner]

There are many layers to seeing, and seeing someone on TV is arguably thin. But, we are animals. There is a continuum between lust and love, infatuation and deeper emotion.
I think the OP has encountered an essentially genetic magnetism that is real. It may be distorted by being only visual, and only through a two-dimensional screen. AFAIK, you can't smell through a TV yet, no matter how many pixels there are.
May the Force be With You, may you find it - pure, beautiful, idiotic love. But remember that the revolution will not be televised.

 

[Franklin]

I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
That we'd just met, she's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met

I'll see that, and raise you a:

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time.

I have to admit I did notice my future fiancee the first time I saw her. She was 22 and very cute. I was 26. But it was a fleeting thought for it seemed like a snowball chance in hell and that she wasn't avaliable. Almost 3 years would pass before we got together.

That's kind of what happened with me. She was 20 and I was 25. She was student in my class of about 40 students (I was in graduate school). Unlike some of my friends, I never saw my classes as dating pools. But she was different. I noticed her in class on day one and couldn't forget her.
I still never approached her while she was my student. Ethics and all (and, I was seeing someone else at the time, too). A summer and a good part of a fall passed before I ran into her again on campus. It was like seeing a friend. We struck up a conversation. Long story short, that was 24 years ago, and we've been married 22 years this year.

 

[CaptainStoner]

love is careless in its choosing,
sweeping over cross and baby,
love descends on those defenceless;
idiot love will spark the fusion

david bowie 'soul love'

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
That we'd just met, she's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met

Oh yeah?

Love is like a bottle of gin

It makes you blind, it does you in
It makes you think you're pretty tough
It makes you prone to crime and sin
It makes you say things off the cuff
It's very small and made of glass
and grossly over-advertised
It turns a genius to an ass
and makes a fool think he is wise
It could make you regret your birth
or turn cartwheels in your best suit
It costs a lot more than it's worth
and yet there is no substitute
They keep it on a higher shelf
the older and more pure it grows
It has no color in itself
but it can make you see rainbows
You can find it on the Bowery
or you can find it at Elaine's
It makes your words more flowery
It makes the sun shine, makes it rain
You just get out what they put in
and they never put in enough
Love is like a bottle of gin
but a bottle of gin is not like love