Etiquette Issues

[Maestro]

As I strolled about the halls yesterday at our local State Music Festival, I noticed something alarming. Kids (boys especially) seem to lack some basic fashion sense.

I witnessed a young man in a black blazer and black trousers. You don't actually have a black suit if you put those articles together, my friend.

Another boy had on a black pinstripe suit coat and a pair of charcoal trousers. Not the best match, either.

Why do kids do this? Do their parents not understand? Is this the sign of a larger etiquette issue?

 

[Gryffindorian]

Hardly an etiquette issue, but I agree about their fashion sense or lack thereof. Was it a formal event tha people had to wear full suits and dresses?

 

[Misfit Toy]

Isn't critiquing the fashion sense of children a breach of etiquette?

 

[Maestro]

Well, it was Solo and Ensemble competition at the State level. I expect my kids to be well dressed. Many of the boys are in suits or blazers (of complimentary colors) and the girls in dressy outfits.

It's also prom weekend for a lot of schools, so many kids just dress for prom and perform in that.

Yet, there were a number of kids dressed in appropriate attire with clothing styles/colors/patterns that just didn't match together.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Holdfast alert...

 

[Spot's Meow]

I don't know the type of crowd that was performing, but it could be highly possible that they/their parents couldn't afford a full matching suit and so have to wear separates that aren't meant to go together. I can't afford such nice clothes at the moment so I have to piece things together.

It could also be that they just don't see that sort of thing, perfectly matching pieces, as terribly important. I certainly don't and probably wouldn't even notice it on someone.

 

[Holdfast]

Holdfast alert...

Nah, I reserve my disapproval for adults who should know better dressing badly. I'll give the kids a pass.

 

[Kestra]

Maybe they were just trying to express their own styles while still adhering to the formality of the occasion.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Holdfast alert...

Nah, I reserve my disapproval for adults who should know better dressing badly. I'll give the kids a pass.

Well then ~ how are we going to have well dressed future adults if you can't be bothered to advise now? You know full well it would be better to nip it in the bud

 

[Trekker4747]

I'd be happy if people would just practice the simple principle of keeping your kids quiet and behaved in public.

 

[Kestra]

Eh, I'm not a parent but I can't imagine it's always that simple.

 

[Maestro]

These aren't little kids, mind you, they're mostly juniors and seniors in high school. The 16-19 set.

I can respect that parents can't afford a nice suit, or even a swanky one (like yours truly was sporting). However, If you can afford a black sport coat and black trousers, sure you could have afforded grey trousers instead, or gone the (and I know Holdfast hates this) navy jacket and grey or khaki trouser route.

And the mismatched suit jacket and pants? That's not really financially excusable either.

I think we're not taking the time to educate our kids on proper business fashion sense.

 

[Trekker4747]

Eh, I'm not a parent but I can't imagine it's always that simple.

When I used to let my niece go with me shopping, I could manage it. Some parents today manage it. My parents manage it.

Your kid doesn't have to a perfect, quiet, angel walking calmly next to you, but some of the behaviors I see from with kids in public is astounding to me the parents aren't doing something to get the kid to knock it off. Running around aimlessly while the parent is just chatting with someone, or looking at a product? You can't tell me that that parent can't stop what they're doing and give their kids a stern-voice "knock it off and stand by me!"

I saw a parent once she was shopping on one end of the aisle, I think trying to decide what kind of Hamburder Helper to get or some bullshit. Her kid was on the other end, closest to me, with one of those little-kid shopping carts the kid crashed the cart into a cardboard display thing, knocking it over, and its contents (unbreakable) spilled all over the floor. The parent heard the crash, looked up and over at the kid and in a calm, warm, voice asked the kid to come to her (In the same kind of warm voice you'd use to ask the kid to come to you because you want to clean them up or do their hair or something before going out of the house or some other calm, warm, thing) the kid ran down to her, cart rattling the whole way, he almost crashes into another shopper (no reaction from the mother) and the kid meets up with the mom. She say nothing to the kid. Moments later she walking towards me (and the spill) and she just simply walks by it. Says and does nothing. Didn't even tell anyone the spill happened. I finish up with my customer, then go and fix the display. The mother "boomerangs" back to my direction and walks past me, again saying nothing. No "sorry about that" or anything.

Oh, when she looked up the kid's car was clearly the one who caused the crash as his cart is still "crashed" into the display as right now his cart is supporting its weight. So when he moves it crashs and spills more.

So, tell me, did this happen because the woman is a rude idiot who can't parent or control her kid or because parenting isn't as simple as I think?

When I was a kid I once bit into a pkg of M&Ms I wanted. My parents were mad, being now forced to buy it, and when we got home my ass was made red from the whoppin' my dad gave me and then he ate the M&Ms. I never did it, or anything like it, again. Yeah, yeah, spaking kids these days is so evvvvvullllll. But you can't tell me this woman couldn't of been a little more stern to the kid who just made a mess and done something like make him pick it up or be the one to tell someone he spilled it. Nope, just a warm "come here" and walk off.

 

[Colonel Green]

I'm sure that the practice of beating children has never had any ill effects.

Anecdotes! Helping whiners make a point since 1886.

 

[Kestra]

Oh Trekker, I said always because despite your anecdotes, I'm sure there are times where it is difficult to control a child. I think we're focusing on two different aspects here. You're focusing on adults who seemingly do not see anything inappropriate with their behaviour and I was thinking of children that are simply difficult to control, or when normally well-behaved children act out. Then again like I said, I don't know anything about parenting and likely never will!

Anyway, I don't want to drag this off-topic so I'll just say that I understand your frustrations with the situations you have noted and hopefully we can move on from here.

 

[sidious618]

12-17 years olds are badly dressed? Holy crap!

 

[trampledamage]

My kids are screwed - I thought black pants with a black jacket was an okay combination

 

[Maestro]

At least the madrigal groups and music theatre kids were dressed in costumes. Although...

 

[RobertVA]

I'd have been glad they weren't wearing oversize untucked tee shirts and baggy jeans with the crotches almost down to their knees.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Seriously. If the worst fashion we ever see is slightly mismatched suit pieces, the world would be a better place.