ENT Caption Competition #005 Barely An Inconvenience

Today's triumphant winners

The culinary award goes to IMC Headquarters


REED: They're wrong. These fear ganglia taste more like chicken than squid.
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The thinly veiled sarcasm award goes to JirinPanthosa



ARCHER: Ensign Sato, we have a new alien language we have to decode.
HOSHI: Oh, that's so hard, I've never seen that language before! I'm not sure I can do it. Wait, wait, I think I can possibly summon the strength. It should take at least ten hours.
ARCHER: You have two.
HOSHI: Oh, no, that's such a hard deadline! *snrk* I'll see what I can do.
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The seating arrangement award goes to Ron Nasty


T'POL: And you don't find it odd that the only two aliens on the ship are always seated at the same table?
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The gift exchange award goes to Laura Cynthia Chambers


Archer: "How does that old saying go again? 'Beware' something..."
Tucker: "'Beware of Vulcans bearing gifts.'"
Archer: "Yeah, that's it."
T'Pol: "Humans. Draw their name just once in the Secret Santa exchange and you never hear the end of it. What's so bad about a giant IDIC wall hanging, anyway?"


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Archer: "I told you we were dead. Look! We're standing at the pearly gates."
T'Pol: "Actually, according to the spectrometric scan, they are composed of a tensilium-ferracose alloy."
Tucker: "Aw, tricorders ruin everything."

 

."Next time open that up in a private tab, Ensign"


Great. Who closes at 8pm? Well.. there's got to be a Walgreens around here somewhere..
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I can get the little frog past the cars but once I get to the logs, that gater always gets me.


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Hello Oscar.
Hello Bert. Turkey.

 

Archer: "Okay, so how did the genetic superman get into the torpedo in the first place?

 

Mayweather " Ouch! I just broke the underside of this console"




T'pol " And what does the Artist call this one Captain?" Archer " Doory Woory"



Trip "Wow captain, you were right! Her boobs DO look even bigger in the reflection!"
Archer to T'pol "Pranked!"




Archer " Is that your finger?"

 

Archer: "You know, if this was one of the other Star Trek spinoffs we'd show some ingenuity and determination in getting past this door."

Tucker: "Yeah, BUT they had better writers and bigger audiences. So I say they cut to commercial and when they come back we'll just already be on the other side."

T'Pol: "'THAT is logical.' … sorry, let me say that line again … 'that IS logical.' … sorry, once more … 'THAT is SOO logical.' still not feeling it … once more, please … 'that's cool.' … and, SCENE!"

 

Calavicci: "Sam, what do you mean you don't recognize me? It's me, Admiral Al Calavicci! Yeah, I had to put on this silly disguise to get past security. Follow me, Ziggy has calculated a way to get you back onto a real network."

Beckett: "Really?"

Calavicci: "Absolutely. By the way, how do you feel about crime scene investigating in New Orleans?"

Beckett: "Would love it!"

Calavicci: "Told you I'd get you out of this quantum purgatory and back to the promised land."

 

Bakula: "Dammit, Brannon, you and Berman can't spoon in there forever. One of you is going to have to get out here and explain this script."

Blalock: "Like yeah. I mean, what's my motivation here? Am I supposed to be more 'happy bunny' or 'grumpy bunny'?"

Trinneer: "You know, if the show's over budget you can kill my character right now. I wouldn't be mad. REALLY! I can have my dressing closet cleared out and be off the lot in under ten minutes. I've timed it many times. REALLY!"

 

T'POL: Turn the wheels and back up...
MAYWEATHER: Man, parallel parking is hard.

 

...and on the other side of the Mirror of Erised stand Ron, Hermione, and Harry...

 

T'POL: It is a Samsung Galaxy Note NX. We have been miniaturized.
TUCKER: Well now it should be easier for you to make small talk, Sub-Commander.

 

The new Charlie Chan and Birmingham Brown...

 

Suliban: Captain Archer, what did you mean when you said you wished you knew how to "quit" me?

 

ARCHER (thinking): I wonder if Chef still has those cantaloupes?

 

Mayweather: As you can see from these file pictures we found in crewman Daniels' room, you are clearly wearing Colonel Kira's hand-me-downs.


Trip; Why'd y'all order a dead guy for?

 

TRIP: All I'm saying is a civilization this advanced should have faster elevators.
ARCHER: It's barely been a minute, Trip!

 

ARCHER: When is a door not a door?
T'POL: When it is a jar.

 

ARCHER: According to the letter from my great-great grandfather, this leads to the Imaging Chamber....

 

Archer: "I want a fudgey pop...no, maybe I'll have a lemon creamsicle...or perhaps-"
Tucker: "No way, pal. I saw the fudgey pop first!"
Archer: "Did not!"
Tucker: "Did too! Yesterday!"
Archer: "Oh, yeah? Is your name written on it?"
T'Pol: "Ah, yes. The frequency with which you Humans stridently fight for the most inane reasons is yet another characteristic which makes me appreciate my Vulcan heritage. When you two have ceased hostilities, one of you can retrieve an orange popsicle for me."

 

T'Pol: Captain, perhaps you might wish to reconfigure your Pac-Man pattern? Commander Tucker is clearly the victor in this battle.