As a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan, one who grew up in the western suburbs of Chicago and now follows them from eastern Iowa, few periods of Cubs history were as dark as the reign of Dusty Baker.
Now that Dusty is managing another team in the National League Central Division, my dick is harder than it was the night of my wedding.
Yes, now Corey Patterson is a Red. Reunited with the Dustbag. No doubt about to be crammed unproductively into the leadoff spot. You can’t make this stuff up.
Hall of Fame baseball writer Hal McCoy is one of the best, and he’s legally blind, and that didn’t stop him from nearly passing out from fear of what he plainly sees is going on. Dusty’s turning the Reds into the Cubs. Not the 2003 or 2004 Cubs. The 2006 Cubs.
Right. He’s still young. He’s still fast. He’s had six years to learn what a strike is and yet he hasn’t. He’s had six years to learn not to try to hit every pitch 500 feet and hasn’t. You were there for three of them, and you had such a great, calming influence on him.
What? When did he realize that? When he got that on-base average all the way up to .304 last year and couldn’t find a job until three weeks into spring training?
Oh, Dusty ... shut the fuck up. You got in trouble with the organization because you wanted to play Jose Macias in center field and insisted on giving Neifi Perez 500 at-bats. Instead of batting Corey seventh or eighth, you insisted on batting him first and then complaining about it. Man, am I glad you’re somebody else’s problem.
Dusty, you manage in one of the most hitter-friendly parks in baseball, and you spend all your time worrying about bunting and who should steal behind the other guy. This is awesome.
I ... I have nothing.
I emphasized the last line because he repeated the same "clogging the bases" horseshit during his tenure in Chicago.
God bless you, Dusty Baker. Thank you for bringing Gabor Bako, Jerry Hairston the Lesser and Korey Patterson to Cincinnati. Thank you for ensuring that at least one of the Central teams will be utterly worthless.
Now that Dusty is managing another team in the National League Central Division, my dick is harder than it was the night of my wedding.
Yes, now Corey Patterson is a Red. Reunited with the Dustbag. No doubt about to be crammed unproductively into the leadoff spot. You can’t make this stuff up.
Hall of Fame baseball writer Hal McCoy is one of the best, and he’s legally blind, and that didn’t stop him from nearly passing out from fear of what he plainly sees is going on. Dusty’s turning the Reds into the Cubs. Not the 2003 or 2004 Cubs. The 2006 Cubs.
Right. He’s still young. He’s still fast. He’s had six years to learn what a strike is and yet he hasn’t. He’s had six years to learn not to try to hit every pitch 500 feet and hasn’t. You were there for three of them, and you had such a great, calming influence on him.
What? When did he realize that? When he got that on-base average all the way up to .304 last year and couldn’t find a job until three weeks into spring training?
Oh, Dusty ... shut the fuck up. You got in trouble with the organization because you wanted to play Jose Macias in center field and insisted on giving Neifi Perez 500 at-bats. Instead of batting Corey seventh or eighth, you insisted on batting him first and then complaining about it. Man, am I glad you’re somebody else’s problem.
Dusty, you manage in one of the most hitter-friendly parks in baseball, and you spend all your time worrying about bunting and who should steal behind the other guy. This is awesome.
I ... I have nothing.
I emphasized the last line because he repeated the same "clogging the bases" horseshit during his tenure in Chicago.
God bless you, Dusty Baker. Thank you for bringing Gabor Bako, Jerry Hairston the Lesser and Korey Patterson to Cincinnati. Thank you for ensuring that at least one of the Central teams will be utterly worthless.
