DS9 Caption Contest 125: The Defiant Ones

[LeadHead]

Bashir: It seems the planets wi-fi overloaded and blanketed the atmosphere.

Sisko: Survivors?

Bashir: They're all continually on Spacebook, so none.

Kira: Why are we hacking into Worf's music library again?

Dax: So we can see the look on his face when his Klingon operas become Katy Perry songs.

Dax: That's only 943 words. Admiral Ross specifically said your report had to be no fewer than 1,000 words.

O'Brien: (over comm) O'Brien to Engineering.

Nog: Go ahead, Chief.

O'Brien: Nog? What are you doing down there? I told you to modify the torpedo... ARE YOU WORKING ON A TORPEDO INCHES FROM THE WARP CORE?!!!

Kira: The forward sensors are still not online. Engine Room, where are those field stabilizers?

Nog: Engine Room, Bridge, where are those field stabilizers?

Pause

Nog: Major, Engine Room requests that you mind your own damn business.

Worf: Excellent, there is still one expendable crewmember here. Go to the airlock and prepare to eject yourself at the enemy ship, using yourself as a projectile.

Redshirt: REALLY?!

Worf: No, we really do treat our junior officers terribly. Don't we?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Redshirt: So THIS is "Star Trek into darkness"?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Redshirt: So THIS is "Star Trek into darkness"?

Dax: More like "Star Trek In Darkness".

 

[Triskelion]

Kira: Power from secondary systems to shields!
Nog: POWER FROM SECONDARY SYSTEMS TO SHIELDS!
Kira: Ahead full impulse on my mark!
Nog: AHEAD FULL IMPULSE ON MY MARK!
Kira: Steady...
Nog: STEADY...!
Kira: Steady...
Nog: STEADY...!
Kira: Steady...
Nog: STEADY...!
Kira: NOW!
Nog: MARK!
Kira: HA HA, NOG'S OUT OF THE WAR!
Nog: DAMMIT! ROOKIE MISTAKE!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: Why aren't we gaining on that piece of junk?

BASHIER: She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts. It's captain made a lot of special modifications himself. It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

SISKO: That makes no sense whatsoever

 

[Avro Arrow]

Sadly, many dreams were dashed when the Interstellar Olympic Committee ultimately rejected "synchronized button tapping" as a medal event.

 

[Smellincoffee]

SISKO: Why aren't we gaining on that piece of junk?

BASHIER: She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts. It's captain made a lot of special modifications himself. It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

SISKO: That makes no sense whatsoever

O'Brien: Julian, a parsec measures distance, not time.
Bashir: Oh, dear, you caught me pretending to be dumb so no one caught on to my being genetically enhanced. Old habit.
O'Brien: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

 

[Hutchy01]

SISKO: Why aren't we gaining on that piece of junk?

BASHIER: She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts. It's captain made a lot of special modifications himself. It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

SISKO: That makes no sense whatsoever

O'Brien: Julian, a parsec measures distance, not time.
Bashir: Oh, dear, you caught me pretending to be dumb so no one caught on to my being genetically enhanced. Old habit.
O'Brien: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Dax: The Kessel run is around wormholes and is measured in distance!

 

[Avro Arrow]

Nog: Can you hand me the quantum flux regulator?
Jake: Is that the silver tube thingy or the pointy blue doohickey?
Nog: Why are you even here?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Computer: WARNING. 26 hour warning until termination of present contest.
Dax: Wait a second, why is a Starfleet computer using Bajoran timekeeping?

 

[Triskelion]

Nog: And now let's find out if the Pen is mightier than a Photon Torpedo.

Dax: "The pen is mightier than a photon torpedo?" Are you sure that's funny?
Sisko: It's reeeeeeeal!http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/