O'Brien: No, I'd NEVER cheat on Keiko, even just for a night.
Sisko: It's with Seven. And no "O'Brien Must Suffer" for two weeks.
O'Brien: How about I marry her instead?
O'Brien: So the warp field modulation coil in the Defiant's port nacelle needed to be replaced, which meant that I also had to replace the starboard one. Then I had to install new warp coils to prevent a phase variance while traveling at warp 6+ while cloaked--
Kirayoshi (glazed eyes), Molly (glazed eyes), Keiko (grimacing): SHUT UP!!!!!! WE ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND LA FORGE!!
O'Brien: O'Brien's log, stardate 53333.47. Major Kira and Lt. Commander Dax are still VERY angry at me because of a transporter malfunction that transported their clothes to Bajor and them to the Promenade. I've been hiding on the Founder's homeworld for a few days, but they'll find me soon.
Kira and Dax: He's there! Get him!
O'Brien: Whaddya know. I just shrunk Garak to a centimeter tall. Now Bashir can't cheat on me.
Garak: *unintelligible tiny screams*
Quark: No, I haven't seen Garak in days. Last I saw him, he was headed to Ops for something. I think O'Brien asked for him, but I don't really know.
Bashir: Miles, have you seen Garak?
O'Brien: No comment.
