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Dr Who: Diary of a Perfect Occupation.

Guy Gardener

Guy Gardener

Fleet Admiral
Admiral
March 15, 2157.

Dalek excavators awaken a nest of sleeping Ice Warriors on Mars. A conventional war lasts 5 months. 300 WMDs are launched at Earth. The Dalek Fleet in orbit of Earth defends the Earth with 98 percent efficiency. After an unconditional surrender by the Martian Queen, 10s of thousands of Martian slaves are exported to Earth.
 
April 20th, 2157.

Time traveling NAZIs attempt to assassinate the Supreme Dalek. They fail, and are converted into Robomen until they go insane and commit suicide. The Daleks declare war on NAZI Germany 1944, and condemn Hitler’s living face to inside a pickle jar full of brine.
 
April 27th 2157.

A Cyber conversion fleet arrives in Earth Orbit. The Dalek fleet counters their arrival. The Two fleets are evenly matched. The Daleks pay off the Cybermen with 50 million human slaves, and they depart on good terms.
 
June 20th 2157.

Mutagenic burning green goo starts swelling up from the drill head. 100s of effected mutant slaves are exterminated and the drill site is moved to another location less toxic and more environmentally calm less likely to end the world in a way not of the Dalek’s choosing.
 
July 4th, 2157

Human resistance rebuilds the computer WOTAN to attack the Dalek information net. The information net is slapped hard but the Dalek fleet nukes the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.
 
July 27th, 2157.

King Arthur of Camelot returns from Avalon to liberate Briton from it’s era of darkest peril. Arthur’s sword Excalibur cleaves through Dalekanium like a hot knife through butter. The Dalek Fleet nukes Arthur from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure. Dalek Archivists sifting through the strike zone reveals that “Arthur” had been a robot of indeterminate design and origin.
 
August 3rd, 2157.

The Daleks become deeply confused when their troop numbers double despite no knowable explanation of why there are millions more Daleks on Earth than there should be. It’s a Zygon invasion. The Zygons continue to pretend to be perfectly normal Daleks. The Daleks figure out it’s a non problem, and move on.
 
August 9th, 2157.

The Daleks become more deeply confused when their troop numbers again double despite no knowable explanation of why there are still millions more Daleks on Earth than there should be. It’s a Rutan Invasion. The Rutans continue to pretend to be perfectly normal Daleks. The Daleks figure out it’s a non problem, and move on.
 
August 12th, 2157.

It turns out that Rutans on Earth posing as Daleks, were a very real danger to the Dalek Occupation of the Earth, since they were running from the Sontarans after a failed expansion into the Andromeda Galaxy. The Sontaran fleet arrives in Earth Orbit and engages the Dalek Fleet. The Dalek fleet is several orders of technology beyond the Sontarans, but the Sontarans plan is to focus on carpet bombing the Earth with neutron bombs to weed out and exterminate the Rutan infestation. When the Daleks finally understand this tactic, they stand aside and watch the Earth burn until the Sontarans are spent.
 
September 3rd, 2157.

Adrik and the Master land in Central Park. The Master lets Adrik out of his cage, but leashed to a sturdy peg in the ground, they have a very nice picnic. They have their first kiss. Adrik believes that the Master is misunderstood, and that given time and fortitude, he can change him. Adrik is put back into his cage and strung up against a wall, as it is time to return to the Master’s war against the Doctor. The Daleks ever observant, cataloguing this super sexy and romantic first date, and decided not to nuke the Master from orbit, because it would only make him angry.
 
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September 11th, 2157.

The Robot men are revolting. Not a complete revolution, but somehow they have recovered their sex drives. So the RoboMen will only respond to Dalek orders sometimes now, when they are not banging each other looking for an ounce of joy in this crazy mixed up world. The Daleks exterminate all the Robomen, rewrite their base programming, add castration to the Roboman conversion process, and then start from the beginning again, growing a less embarrassingly horny Roboman army to keep the human slaves in line.
 
September 21st , 2157.

This 12th of Scaroth of the Jagaroth knew the Dalek Invasion was coming, and he knew when it was going to end, so he positioned himself perfectly to survive in luxury as a Dalek collaborator when they arrived. He over saw a factory and managed 15 thousand slaves that he treated relatively humanely compared to factories under direct Dalek control. This did make him a target of the human resistance, but as an immortal alien, he was a lot harder to kill than your average broken savage might think. The Dalek Time Controller executed Scaroth for crimes of fraud, which ended the universe, time broke in half, and Dalek time soldiers were forced to rebuild history by commuting Scaroth’s totally just and deserved sentence.
 
October 24th, 2157.

Time traveling Telosian Cybermen from the past, try to steal the Dalek engine the Daleks were planning on installing in the Earth’s core as soon as they dig a deep enough hole that alien spider monsters or green mutagen doesn’t piss out of it, and use the massive liberated star drive to redirect Tellos to a safe harbour, before everything went terribly wrong, goes horribly wrong. The Daleks time travel back to 1985 and steal the engine back, hiding from at least two versions of the Doctor because it’s a stealth mission, and they don’t want to paradox their own occupation.
 
October 29th, 2157.

The Thal’s are pretty. Sexy blond skinny Wagnerian #uck machines. Only jelly fish androgynous monsters like The Daleks are immune from medically needing to interbreed with these gorgeously fit thoroughbreds. As I was saying, the Thals are pretty, but they are just as bad as the Daleks, because that’s what thousands of years of War on Skaro does to anyone. Thal Terrorists halo drop to Earth, and proceed to blow up factories and kill slaves. Their plan is that the Dalek war machine will grind to a halt if they run out of slaves. Killing a billion humans is way easier than killing a dozen Daleks. After hundreds of factories are engulfed in mustard gas, rubbing out 10’s of thousands of slaves, Robomen eventually track down these nubile terrorists, and melt their faces off with their robotic tazer grip, after accidentally killing thousands of slaves who were too blond and too pretty not to have been Thals, but they were just were not.
 
November 5th, 2157.

%40 of a Dalek frame is made out of plastic. The Nestine Intelligence made short work of the Dalek occupying army on Earth. The Dalek organisms inside the travel unit battle chassis were smother-shredded by the womb of spinning blades, that was supposed to comfort, nurture and support genocidal psychopaths. If it wasn’t for the Millions of Zygons pretending to be Daleks, and the millions of Rutans pretending to be Daleks, who were made out of zero plastic, the Dalek occupation of Earth would have been finished. So after the Rutans and the Zygons poisoned the Intelligence with anti-plastic, they were unsure of what to do next since the only reason that they were still not trying to start killing each other was the pretence of Dalekhood they were all very good at.
 
November 11th, 2157.

The Movellians tried to sponsor a human insurgency on the Dalek Occupied Earth. A cloaked drop ship put them in enemy territory with none the wiser. The corn-rowed robots supplied advanced weapons, from a dozen different worlds, and taught sinister tactics that would kill an awful lot of Daleks, Robomen, Slaves and human collaborators. The human resistance thrived, but if they did win, which is unlikely since they didn’t have the numbers or mobility to reach the heart of the Dalek Empire on Earth, the Movellans would move on up and enslave the Earth next.
 
November 15th, 2157.

Strange viruses and plagues started ripping through the slave pens and factories. Production towards the war effort, and digging towards the core was hampered. The Black Dalek himself looked into the matter personally and found a Time Lady vivisecting Daleks slaves like they were errant unbrdanded cattle. Dalek slaves were branded, and that brand was respected and legally respected by many great civilizations within the nearest 40 galaxies. All slaves were returned to Skaro or worlds were burned. The Time lady was crucified. She regenerated 4 times, nailed to a tree, dehydrating, until she finally gave in and submitted to Dalek subjugation and branding.
 
November 19th, 2157.

Dalek reinforcements from Skaro had finally replenished the decimated reserve on Earth after the Nestine holocaust, and the Daleks were completely comfortable with their mastery of the Earth. A little too comfortable, since they seemed to admirably survive constant attacks that tried to dislodge their position as masters of the Earth on an almost weekly schedule. The Dalek flag flew high and human slaves (figuratively) kissed their balls. They don’t wear boots, or have feet, how else am I supposed to describe it? Those balls studding their exoframe, y’know? Not testicles. You have such a dirty mind, but that’s when Atlantis attacked. The true military power on Earth, that any power in the universe with good sense, should be afraid of. The Daleks try to nuke Atlantis from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure, but… They are just too damn deep down there at the bottom of the sea that the intense massive pressure crushes the missiles a mile before they hit their target.
 
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