Don't talk to strangers

[JiNX-01]

I think fear of pedophiles is probably exaggerated in general - understandably I guess because of the dreadfulness of those crimes, but still, what's the percentage of children who actually get sexually attacked by strangers? Can't be afraid of everything all the time. But I don't have children, so what do I know...

In most instances, children are molested by people they know, including trusted friends and relatives.

 

[Cheapjack]

I tell you what I knew, when I was a kid:

Adults that you should stay away from, are the ones that are power mad, the ones that want you to come in closer, to look at something, to see something. They don't like it if you disagree with them, either, their eyes flare up and they cover it over and laugh and say 'well, you're right there!' They are constantly trying to overpower you and want you to agree with them. They have a hungry look to them.

People that are safe are the ones that are quite happy to talk to you from eight feet away and love to hear your opinion and love it if you disagree with them and their eyes don't flare up. They laugh. They want your take on things. They look you in the eye and don't even care if you suddenly run off, they just say 'goodbye'.

As someone else said, the only people you let come and touch you are policemen in uniforms and teachers, though sometimes policemen don't always use uniforms but the first paragraph can help here.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I think you have to add some other people to the list of people who can touch you

Firemen
Paramedics
Doctors
Nurses

You have to teach children what is appropriate touching.

 

[Cheapjack]

I think you have to add some other people to the list of people who can touch you

Firemen
Paramedics
Doctors
Nurses

You have to teach children what is appropriate touching.

I think though, that family members are the only ones whose knee you should sit on, at the moment. And even they should be careful.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

You should encourage in children a healthy wariness of strangers, not open distrust, fear and hate.

Well said. The kids next door are being taught to trust virtually no one; it's really sad to watch.

 

[SicOne]

It's definitely taken too far in many cases, and encourages distrust and fear on a level that really prevents any sense of empathic connection (which, I have no doubt, increases the dangers for the next generation). I know a family friend who's proudly informed me that her daughters have learned not to trust strangers. She told us her younger daughter has even said "I hate strangers!" (a seemingly serious comment, with genuine emotion in it). The mother told us of this with complete pride, while I was pretty much banging my head repeatedly against the wall.

This woman is a complete idiot, and is probably ensuring that her children will never be able to form healthy social relationships. How can they ever learn to make informed judgements about people if they are The Enemy?

You should encourage in children a healthy wariness of strangers, not open distrust, fear and hate. Those girls are basically being raised to believe that anyone they don't know is worthy of nothing but their fear and contempt on general principal. And then people wonder how things like xenophobia or disregard for other's lives come about.

Exactly this. Abductions of children by strangers is still as uncommon today as it was 50 years ago. The rare cases that happen are tragic, of course, but equally tragic are the children who are routinely molested by non-strangers, most often family members.

Excellent points. I have four girls (22, 19, 18, 6) and I don't think I could have put it better.

 

[The Borgified Corpse]

I never had a problem as a kid. However, in my 20s, I have so far been thrice propositioned by strange men at bus stops & other similar locations.

#1.) I had just gotten out of a dress rehearsal for a play I was doing at the community college. I was waiting outside a convenience store for my mother to pick me up. While I was there, this guy comes up to me and asks me where I'm going. I say, "At the moment, nowhere." Then he tries to lure me into the alley behind the store.
"Come here."
"What?"
"Come here."
"Why?"
Then his voice goes up a couple octaves as he asks, "Wanna have a good time?"
I scream "No!" in a genuinely disgusted manner. He leaves. My mother picked me up a couple minutes later. We drive home. I tell her what happened. As I open the car door to get out, the dome light comes on and she points out to me, "You know, you left your eye-liner on from rehearsal."

#2.) This was the instance that taught me not to be nice to homeless people. I was at a bus stop. There was this homeless guy there. I felt bad for him, since I figured he rarely ever had anyone to talk to. I even felt charitable enough to pay his bus fare. Then, when I get off the bus, he asks me, "Where are you going?" I tell him I'm going to school. He says, confused, "Oh.... I thought we were gonna do a little hanky panky."

#3.) This time, I swear, I didn't do anything that could have possibly led this guy on. I was waiting at a bus stop late at night after leaving my friends' house. Normally, at that time of night, everything is closed, even the Walgreens. Everything is usually dead. But this time, there's this other guy who sits down next to me. I try to respectfully ignore him. Then suddenly, he asks me, "How many bitches have you fucked?" I look over at him and I'm thinking, 'What is that in his hand?' Then I realize what it is. I swear loudly and go back to my friends' house, demanding that they give me a ride because their neighborhood is suddenly very fuckin' scary!

 

[Jetfire]

@The Borgified Corpse

 

[Starbreaker]

Parents should just not let their kids wander around by themselves, mostly.

 

[T'Bonz]

I got the "don't go anywhere with strangers" talk when I began school. Once, when I was in either Kindergarten or 1st grade, I was walking home from school and a man asked me if I wanted a ride.

There were flames shooting out of my feet from running away so quickly!

It's hard to know what to teach them. Kids (and people in general) seem to think that pretty/handsome/young/nice = good and ugly/homely/old/grumpy = bad when that is definitely not true as a rule.

I always taught mine to avoid people they don't know, never go in cars or NEAR their cars (to be grabbed), scream if grabbed, fight like hell (better to die there than to be dragged off to be raped and killed), that a bad guy/woman doesn't necessary LOOK bad, etc.

It all comes down to chance at the end, I think. If your kid is at the wrong place at the wrong time, more often than not, a clever adult can trick them.

 

[Cheapjack]

The thing is, paedophiles are very clever, too. They read about signs that give themselves away and try to hide them.They should be happy to talk to a kid from a distance, they should only promise you something, like money, if you stay off their lawn and not something if they have power over you. OK, if you're a cheeky kid, they may flare up, but the way to catch them out is to be constantly in control and never let them get it, ever, don't even let them let you do something to them, to make it look like they like being jumped up and down on. Test them by staying in control. Run if they 'lose' it.

Staying eight feet away is the best move, and if you'r dragged into a car, scream.