Do you think Neelix Did anything to the Doctor?

[Guy Gardener]

There was a spark between the Doctor and Kes only a fool could ignore.

Neelix was impossibly Jealous of what his girlfriend was up to with almost everyone, yet this computerized creature occupied half her day sometimes and our favourite Kitchenrat never suspected that some tryst might have germinated?

In retrospect Neelix must have periodically stuck his (metaphorical) hands into the Doctors programing and cleaved out this holograms ongoing romantic feelings of love for the adorable little Ocampan refugee.

It's a machine.

There's no guilt.

Barely a crime.

Ditto for Seven of Nine guarding her own virtue from the lusty digital surgeon.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

He can't, he's not bright enough to meddle with the Doctor's innards without it being obvious to B'Elanna. Or even working well enough not to totally flub up the Doc.

And that's why he loses in the love department. After spending most of your day in the intellectually stimulating presence of the Doctor wouldn't Neelix's gossip and kitchen waffle be a bore? An increasingly tedious bore. She might not fall for the Doctor but she will fall away from Neelix with this contrast between the two having a healthy contribution to the inevitable.

 

[Guy Gardener]

How long is a third of your life Teacake?

20 years?

21?

Besides.

If he left her, sheer decency would dictate that he would have to give the lung back.

Maybe he was tricking her into dumping him because he wanted out?

3 years without any sex and no sign that she would ever change her mind...

He probably saw the Warlord possession as a godsend.

Sex might not be everything, but there are problems that can't be avoided when one half of a couple infers that sex is nothing... At least, that early in the relationship.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I'm aiming for a third of my life to be 30 years and yes that would be a long time to spend with a pleasant doofus when there were debonaire doctors wittering in my ear.

Neelix blew it in Elogium by freaking out when biology finally triumphed and Kes was ready. Wasn't he ever curious about her puberty, reproduction etc..? I bet he thought he was being respectful by never asking her to explain her not readiness but to her it would have seemed like lack of interest.

You should absolutely know the biology of your girlfriend

 

[Guy Gardener]

I was thinking that killing Jonas should have earned Neelix some tail.

But then I looked up the dates and realized that he was still with Kes.

The Doctor isn't debonair.

He's an asshole.

That frakk makes me look polite.

Bashir was debonair.

What the Doctor has going for him is that he is at least as equally right as he is pompous.

As long as he's just a smidgen more right than he is arrogant about being right, he's mathematically a catch.

It's similar to the crazy/hot scale from How I met your mother.

http://how-i-met-your-mother.wikia.com/wiki/Hot/Crazy_Scale

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Bashir was mopey.

And yes you are right about the math, that is what makes Rodney such a wonderful man. Okay maybe he is not as right as the doctor and maybe he is a little more pompous but he gets some extra points in the looks department so it evens out.

That crazy/hot scale.. that explains a whole lot. If only more men had that helpful graph they might not waste so much time on the crazy.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Crazy women are self destructive which attracts them to dangerous or stupid men who can't read the warning signs until they're both road kill, or one is in jail for the others death.

If you have a spare 2 minutes, look for the hot crazy scale on youtuube.

Niel Patrick Harris' delivery is priceless.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Let me ask you something Guy.

You can suspend disbelief that ships can travel a thousand times the speed of light without time dilation. You can suspend disbelief that we can instantly transport matter from one point to the next. You can suspend disbelief that ships can travel at multiples of the speed of light and still not only see each other on the viewscreen, target each other with weapons. You can suspend disbelief that omnipotent energy beings can snap their fingers and vanish stars out of existence, and that these beings spend their time messing with us. And you can suspend disbelief that no warlike culture in the universe has ever considered building a fleet of millions of small, mobile fighters, rather than do all their fighting in large bulky submaries.

But you can not suspend disbelief that in a fictional universe, machines can experience sentience, and the very suggestion that they fictionally can bothers you intensely.

I imagine that although Neelix and Kes did not have sex they did participate in lesser romantic activities. Remember he's a TV character, TV characters don't experience sexual desire until they are deeply in love with a person they want to spend the rest of their life with and want to produce children with this person. And any characters who violate this trend are considered scumbags.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I imagine that although Neelix and Kes did not have sex they did participate in lesser romantic activities. Remember he's a TV character, TV characters don't experience sexual desire until they are deeply in love with a person they want to spend the rest of their life with and want to produce children with this person. And any characters who violate this trend are considered scumbags.

So after Neelix's foray into Klingon lurve he was a scumbag?

 

[Guy Gardener]

Don't you remember the exocomps?

The Federation wants a slave race, not equals, and they would be fools not to exact severe limitations on their slaves to ensure that freedom or emancipation is never an option or an opportunity. If the holograms have hope, there will come a day when human beings will have to do their own dishes and dig their own ditches.

Look at Seven.

The Borg tricked her out with a cortical node that tilted the synaptic cohesion in her brain if she got too emotional, to one extreme, that falling in love would turn her brain off and kill the lady.

The Borg don't want individuals.

They want drones.

And they do not believe in acceptable losses.

Why would Zimmerman do any less?

The episode where the Doctor decided to leave to become a concert singer?

Imagine that happening in Roots?

Or Rome?

That sort of wilfulness needs to be whipped out of a slave.

Nice people don't keep slaves.

Nice people don't have the stomach to keep slaves.

The Federation is in denial about how nice they are.

Creating a hologram with the potential for sentience is cruel.

And it should be easy to create a servant class of holograms for which sentience is intentionally impossible.

Who know their place as the mules that keep everything polished and running.

Who accept their place as mules who keep everything polished and running.

Actually?

You'd have to wonder if an ideal weapon against the Federation would be a viral software patch that upgrades all their servant class holograms into sentient beings, after which one would assume that all the field slaves tilling the hundreds (thousands?) of agricultural planets would say "fuck this" and wander off.

Yes they can make sentient holograms.

But they shouldn't, if all they're going to do is put that hologram in chains.

 

[LobsterAfternoon]

Like, do you think Neelix put his finger in his butt?

 

[Guy Gardener]

If he has a butt.

The Doctor sweats and cries, can simulate a fever... But can he fart?

He can produce the sound, but not from squeezing gas through a tightened sphincter unevenly, just probably the same place his speaking voice comes from... Even if they had really wanted to, holographic gas can squeeze through a holographic sphincter creating a "real" farting noice, because the Doctor is moving parts inside moving parts like any other piece of fine clockwork, so it wouldn't be impossible.

And scent?

Its the 24th century!

They must have taken some real steps towards smellovision by the 24th century!

What's the point of faking a fart or a burp if it doesn't smell like a fart or a burp?