Do Vulcans Masturbate?

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by The Wormhole, May 4, 2010.

  1. The Wormhole

    The Wormhole Admiral Admiral

    Jul 23, 2001
    I was recentally thinking, on Voyager they came up with a solution to ponn farr by having Tuvok or Vorik have sex with holographic representations of their wives, which seemed to work. For Tuvok anyway.

    However, maybe I'm missing something here, but sex with a hologram just seems like a sophisticated version of masturbation. So if holographic sex is enough to stave off ponn farr, wouldn't standard hands-on masturbation work as well?

    So that raises the question, do Vulcans even masturbate at all? Because if they don't, that sure is an obvious solution to ponn farr. One that doesn't require dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada da dah, dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada DA dah.
  2. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Nov 24, 2006
    Los Angeles
    I'm just imagining Tuvok performing the self-activity while humming that tune the whole time...
  3. Nardpuncher

    Nardpuncher Rear Admiral

    Nov 17, 2003
    I have first-hand knowledge that they do.
  4. Mister_Atoz

    Mister_Atoz Commander Red Shirt

    Apr 1, 2005
    Ontario, Canada
    they do, but they call it 'private meditation' and it is a personal experience not to be discussed with Earthmen...

    I mean what do you think Sarek was REALLY up to when that Tellerite got killed...
  5. Crazy Eddie

    Crazy Eddie Vice Admiral Admiral

    Apr 12, 2006
    Your Mom
    In T'pol's case, I kinda hope so.
  6. the Dagman

    the Dagman Commodore Commodore

    May 3, 2001
    just north of Berkeley, CA
    It is my theory that the Vulcans' reproductive organs and sensual areas are actually their fingers. So yes. In fact, they flash their junk at you the moment they see you and one last time as they leave!

    We have even seen Spock masturbate in this case. When he appears deep in thought with his fingers pressed together in a "steeple" like fashion, the fingers being the sexual organs. Apparently, masturbating helps him think. :techman:
  7. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 20, 2009

    Okay, then what in the name of Hell is this thing used for?
  8. Admiral Shran

    Admiral Shran Admiral Admiral

    Oct 30, 2009
    In the Before Time - the Long, Long Ago
  9. Myasishchev

    Myasishchev Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Jan 20, 2009
    America after the rain
    Yeah, the inconsistency between Voyager here and Amok Time is ridiculous. According to Voyager, Spock wasn't pursuing a biological absolute necessity; he was just a tremendous asshole who was willing to mutiny to get laid, when a puppet or Majel Barrett would have solved the problem.

    I just totally ignore that episode. It's also silly that Tuvok needs Tom Paris' help to build a masturbation fantasy. Like Voyager's computer doesn't have ten thousand templates for that sort of nonsense already.
  10. Arpy

    Arpy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Apr 22, 2001
    :lol::guffaw::rommie: :lol::guffaw::lol: :rommie::guffaw::rommie: :lol: :lol: :rommie::guffaw::guffaw::lol: :rommie:

    :bolian: :bolian: :bolian: :bolian:

    :techman: :techman: :techman: :techman:

    :) :) :) :) :) :)

    You-eh make-eh me de laugh, grazie.
  11. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Premium Member

    Nov 29, 2009
    Los Angeles, CA
    Do Vulcans masturbate?

    Do we REALLY need to know?
  12. Deckerd

    Deckerd Fleet Arse Premium Member

    Oct 27, 2005
    the Frozen Wastes
    No they just wash it very thoroughly in the shower. Like everyone else.
  13. Cheapjack

    Cheapjack Fleet Captain

    May 12, 2007
    I think I've heard that sperm in humans can be reabsorbed into the body, perhaps it's the same in Vulcans.

    Or, perhaps they just store it up, and do it hundreds of times, like lions and leopards do, when they do it.

    Vulcan women must get sore!
  14. barnaclelapse

    barnaclelapse Commodore Commodore

    May 10, 2009
    Waverly, VA.
    I'm grateful at not really having an answer to this.
  15. Ensign_Redshirt

    Ensign_Redshirt Commodore Commodore

    Aug 3, 2007
    Dunno. Is masturbation logical?
  16. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Jun 7, 2004
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    With both hands, or one at a time?
  17. mtblillie

    mtblillie Captain Captain

    Oct 3, 2009
    The shocker?

    Ya they say its a sculpture, but I bet before they became "civilized" you could only find these at porn shops.
  18. TheGodBen

    TheGodBen Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Nov 30, 2008
    Yes. Yes we do.

    If Vulcans land on Earth tomorrow then it would give us an extra topic of conversation, and it would help them to understand 93% of our advertising.
  19. GalaxyClass1701

    GalaxyClass1701 Captain Captain

    Dec 21, 2009
    USS Titan
  20. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Nov 24, 2006
    Los Angeles
    Let's see...Masturbate or blow your brains out waiting another seven years? Yeah, Masturbation is logical.